Ukuphazamiseka Kwemikhuba Yokudla—Yini Engasiza?

UMA indodakazi yakho inokuphazamiseka kwemikhuba yokudla, kudingeka ithole usizo. Ungazindeli ucabanga ukuthi inkinga izoziphelela. Ukuphazamiseka kwemikhuba yokudla kuyisifo esiyinkimbinkimbi, esihlanganisa izici ezingokomzimba nezingokomzwelo.

Yiqiniso, ochwepheshe baye babeka uchungechunge oludida ikhanda lwezinto zokwelapha ukuphazamiseka kwemikhuba yokudla. Abanye batusa ukwelashwa ngemithi. Abanye bathi kungcono ukwelashwa odokotela bengqondo. Abaningi bathi ukukusebenzisa kokubili kuyaphumelela kakhulu. Bese kuba khona ukwelulekwa komkhaya, abanye abathi kubaluleke kakhulu uma lowo ogulayo esahlala ekhaya.a

Nakuba ochwepheshe bengase bahlukane ekusikiseleni kwabo, abaningi bavumelana okungenani ngephuzu elilodwa: Ukuphazamiseka kwemikhuba yokudla akuyona inkinga yokudla kuphela. Ake sihlole ezinye zezinto ezijulile ngokuvamile okudingeka zibhekwe uma kusizwa othile ukuba alulame kuyi-anorexia noma kuyi-bulimia.

Umbono Olinganiselwe Ngokubukeka Komzimba

“Ngayeka ngokuphelele ukuthenga omagazini bezimfashini cishe lapho ngineminyaka engu-24 ubudala,” kusho omunye wesifazane. “Ukuziqhathanisa nonobuhle kwakunethonya elikhulu nelibi kakhulu.” Njengoba sekushiwo, ezokuxhumana zingawusonta umbono wentombazane ngobuhle. Ngempela, omunye umama wentombazane enokuphazamiseka kwemikhuba yokudla ukhuluma “ngokufundekelwa amaphephandaba nomagazini namathelevishini ethu ngezikhangiso zokuba ngangothi lokuvungula.” Uthi: “Mina nendodakazi yami siyakuthanda ukuba bancane, kodwa sinomuzwa wokuthi ukukhathazeka ngakho kujika kube yinto ebaluleke kakhulu ekuphileni, ukudlula zonke izinto.” Ngokusobala, ukululama ekuphazamisekeni kwemikhuba yokudla kungase kudinge ukuba nezinkolelo ezintsha ngalokho okwakha ubuhle bangempela.

IBhayibheli lingasiza lapha. Umphostoli uPetru ongumKristu wabhala: “Ningenzi ukuhloba kwenu kube okokwaluka izinwele kwangaphandle nokokufaka imihlobiso yegolide noma okokugqoka izingubo zangaphandle, kodwa makube umuntu osithekile wenhliziyo ogqoke isambatho esingenakonakala somoya othule nomnene, ongowenani elikhulu emehlweni kaNkulunkulu.”—1 Petru 3:3, 4.

UPetru uthi kufanele sikhathazeke kakhulu ngezimfanelo zangaphakathi kunokubukeka kwangaphandle. Ngempela, iBhayibheli liyasiqinisekisa: “Lokhu uJehova engabukisi okomuntu; umuntu ubheka okusemehlweni, kepha uJehova ubheka okusenhliziyweni.” (1 Samuweli 16:7) Lokhu kuyaduduza, ngoba nakuba singenakuzishintsha izici ezithile zokubukeka kwethu, singathuthukisa uhlobo lwabantu esiyilo.—Efesu 4:22-24.

Njengoba ukuphazamiseka kwemikhuba yokudla kungadlondlobala uma uzizwa ungabalulekile, kungase kudingeke ukuba uphinde uhlole ukubaluleka kwakho njengomuntu. Yiqiniso, iBhayibheli lisitshela ukuba singazicabangeli ngaphezu kwalokho okudingekile. (Roma 12:3) Kodwa lisitshela nokuthi undlunkulu oyedwa ubalulekile emehlweni kaNkulunkulu, linezela: “Nina nibaluleke ngaphezu kondlunkulu abaningi.” (Luka 12:6, 7) Ngakho iBhayibheli lingakusiza ukuba uhlakulele ukuzethemba okunempilo. Wazise umzimba wakho, futhi uyowunakekela.—Qhathanisa neyabase-Efesu 5:29.

Kodwa kuthiwani uma kudingeka ngempela ukwehlisa isisindo? Mhlawumbe ukudla ukudla okunempilo ngesilinganiso esithile nesimiso sokuvivinya umzimba kungakusiza. IBhayibheli liyasho ukuthi “ukuqeqesha umzimba kunenzuzo,” ngisho noma ilinganiselwe. (1 Thimothewu 4:8) Kodwa akufanele neze isisindo sibe ukuphela kwento ebalulekile ekuphileni kwakho. Ukuhlola okwenziwa ekubukekeni komzimba kuyaphetha: “Mhlawumbe inkambo ehlakaniphile, ukuvivinya umzimba kakhulu—bese wamukela indlela oyiyo kunokuzama ukuzimpintshela kulokho okuthiwa ubuhle ngokombono wabantu nokuchazwa ngendlela elinganiselwe.” Owesifazane oneminyaka engu-33 e-United States wathola le ndlela iwusizo. “Ngiye ngazibekela umthetho olula owodwa,” esho. “Sebenzela ukushintsha lokho ongakushintsha ngempela, ungachithi isikhathi uzikhathaza ngokunye.”

Uma ubheka ukuphila ngombono oqondile futhi udla ukudla okulingene nokunempilo futhi unesimiso sokuvivinya umzimba esinengqondo, ngokunokwenzeka amakhilogremu odinga anciphe ayoncipha.

Ukuthola “Umngane Weqiniso”

Ngemva kokuhlola abaningana abane-bulimia, uProfesa James Pennebaker waphetha ngokuthi ngokwezinga elikhulu, umjikelezo wabo wokudla nokukukhipha wawuphoqelela laba besifazane ukuba baphile ukuphila okuyimfihlo. Uthi: “Cishe wonke umuntu ngokuzenzakalelayo wasiphawula isikhathi esiningi nomzamo esasidingeka ukuze afihle imikhuba yakhe yokudla kubangane bakhe abaseduze nabakubo. Bonke babephila ukuphila kokukhohlisa futhi bekuzonda.”

Nokho, isinyathelo esiyinhloko sokululama, ukukhuluma. Kokubili abaphethwe i-anorexia nabaphethwe i-bulimia kudingeka bakhulume ngale nkinga. Kodwa bakhulume kubani? Isaga seBhayibheli sithi: “Umngane [weqiniso, NW] uthanda ngezikhathi zonke, nomzalwane uzalwa ekuhluphekeni.” (IzAga 17:17) Lowo ‘mngane weqiniso’ angaba umzali noma omunye umuntu omdala ovuthiwe. Abanye baye bakuthola kudingeka ukuthulula isifuba kothile onolwazi ekwelapheni ukuphazamiseka kwemikhuba yokudla.

OFakazi BakaJehova banomunye umthombo wokusekela—abadala bebandla. La madoda angaba “yindawo yokucashela umoya nesivikelo esivunguvungwini njengemifula yamanzi endaweni eyomileyo, njengomthunzi wedwala ezweni eliyethileyo.” (Isaya 32:2) Yiqiniso, abadala ababona odokotela, ngakho ngaphezu kweseluleko sabo esiwusizo, ungase udinge ukwelashwa ngemithi. Noma kunjalo, lawa madoda aqeqeshiwe ngokomoya angakusekela ngendlela emangalisayo ukuze ululame.b—Jakobe 5:14, 15.

Nokho, umuntu ongathulula kuye isifuba kakhulu uMdali wakho. Umhubi wabhala: “Phonsa phezu kukaJehova umthwalo wakho, uzakukuphasa; akayikuvuma naphakade ukuba olungileyo azanyazanyiswe.” (IHubo 55:22) Yebo, uJehova uNkulunkulu unesithakazelo ezinganeni zakhe zasemhlabeni. Ngakho ungalokothi ukudebeselele ukuthandaza kuye ngezinkathazo zakho ezijulile. UPetru uyasixwayisa: ‘Niphonse konke ukukhathazeka kwenu phezu kwakhe, ngoba uyanikhathalela.’—1 Petru 5:7.

Lapho Kudingeka Uye Esibhedlela

Ukuya esibhedlela akulona ikhambi kona ngokwako. Nokho, uma intombazane iye yangondleka ngenxa ye-anorexia enzima kakhulu, kungase kudingeke ukuba ithole ukwelashwa okukhethekile. Kuyavunywa, akulula ngomzali ukuba athathe lesi sinyathelo. Cabangela u-Emily, ondodakazi yakhe kwadingeka iye esibhedlela ngemva kokuba ukuphila “kungasabekezeleleki kuye nakithi,” kusho u-Emily. Uyanezela: “Ukumyisa esibhedlela ekhala yinto enzima kunazo zonke okwake kwadingeka ngibhekane nayo, usuku olunzima kunazo zonke.” Kwakungokufanayo nango-Elaine, naye okwadingeka ayise indodakazi yakhe esibhedlela. Uthi: “Ngicabanga ukuthi isikhathi esibuhlungu kunazo zonke engisikhumbulayo, yilapho esesibhedlela futhi enqaba ukudla sekudingeka bakumpompele ngamashubhu. Ngaba nomuzwa wokuthi bayamphoqelela.”

Ukuya esibhedlela kungase kungabi umcabango ojabulisayo, kodwa kwezinye izimo kuyadingeka. Abaningi abanokuphazamiseka kwemikhuba yokudla, kubenza balulame. U-Emily uthi ngendodakazi yakhe: “Wayekudinga ngempela ukuya esibhedlela. Ukuya esibhedlela okwamsiza ukuba abe ngcono.”

Ukuphila Ngaphandle Kokuphazamiseka Kwemikhuba Yokudla

Njengengxenye yokululama, ophethwe i-anorexia ne-bulimia kudingeka afunde ukuphila ngaphandle kokuphazamiseka kwemikhuba yokudla. Lokhu kungase kube nzima. Ngokwesibonelo, uKim, ulinganisela ukuthi ngesikhathi ephethwe i-anorexia, isisindo sakhe sehla ngamakhilogremu angu-18 ngezinyanga eziyishumi. Nokho, ukuba siphinde sikhuphuke ngamakhilogremu angu-16 kwamthatha iminyaka engu-9! UKim uthi: “Ngomkhulu umzabalazo, ngafunda kancane kancane ukudla ngendlela evamile, ngaphandle kokubala i-kilojoule ngalinye, ukukala ukudla, ukudla ukudla ‘okungenangozi’ kuphela, ukukhathazeka uma ngingazi ukuthi ukudla okuthile kokwehlisa kwenziwe ngaziphi izithako, noma ukudla kuphela ezitolo zokudla ezithengisa amasaladi ozikhethelayo kuwo.”

Kodwa ukululama kukaKim kwakuhilela okunye okwengeziwe. “Ngafunda ukuqaphela imizwa yami bese ngikhuluma ngayo kunokuba ngiyibonakalise ngezenzo noma ngemikhuba yokudla,” esho. “Ukuthola izindlela ezintsha zokubhekana nezingxabano nokuzixazulula kwavula ithuba lokuba nobuhlobo obuseduze kakhulu nabangane nomkhaya.”

Ngokusobala, ukululama ekuphazamisekeni kwemikhuba yokudla kuyinselele, kodwa ekugcineni kuwufanele umzamo. Yilokho uJean, ocashunwe esihlokweni sokuqala akukholelwayo. Uthi: “Ukuphindela ekuphazamisekeni komkhuba wokudla, kuyofana nokuphindela endlini okuvalelwa kuyo abagula ngengqondo, ngemva kokukhululeka isikhashana.”

[Imibhalo yaphansi]

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Ukubeka Isisekelo Sokululama

YINI okufanele uyenze uma usola ukuthi indodakazi yakho inokuphazamiseka kwemikhuba yokudla? Ngokusobala, ngeke usishaye indiva isimo. Kodwa uqala uthini nje? “Ngezinye izikhathi kuyasiza ukuyibuza ngokuqondile, kodwa ngokuvamile kugcina ngokuba ubone sengathi uthela amanzi edadeni,” kusho umlobi uMichael Riera.

Ngenxa yalokhu, ukumbuza ngomusa kungase kuphumelele kakhudlwana. “Uma ukhuluma nendodakazi yakho,” kutusa uRiera, “kudingeka iqonde futhi ibe nomuzwa wokuthi awuyisoli sengathi kukhona okubi ekwenzile. Uma ungenza isimo sibe ngale ndlela, intsha eningi iyogeqa amagula, futhi ngandlela-thile ikhululeke. Abanye abazali baye baphumelela ngokubhalela intsha yabo izincwadi bezwakalisa ukukhathazeka kwabo nokuyisekela. Khona-ke, lapho sebexoxa, basuke sebesibekile isisekelo.”

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Inselele Kubazali

UKUBA nengane enokuphazamiseka kwemikhuba yokudla kubekela abazali izinselele eziningi. “Kudingeka uqine ube yitshe,” kusho omunye ubaba. “Ubona ingane yakho iphelela phambi kwakho.”

Uma unengane enokuphazamiseka kwemikhuba yokudla, kulindelekile ukuthi ngezinye izikhathi uyozizwa ukhungathekile ngenxa yenkani yayo. Kodwa bekezela. Ungayeki ukuyibonisa uthando. U-Emily, ondodakazi yakhe yaphathwa i-anorexia, uyavuma ukuthi loku kwakungelula ngaso sonke isikhathi. Noma kunjalo, uthi: “Ngangizama ukuhlala ngiyiphulula; ngizama ukuyanga; ngizama ukuyiqabula. . . . Ngacabanga ukuthi uma ngiyeka ukuyibonisa imfudumalo nothando, isimo ngeke siphinde sibuyele endaweni yaso.”

Enye yezindlela ezingcono kakhulu zokusiza ingane yakho ilulame ekuphazamisekeni kwemikhuba yokudla, ukuxoxa nayo. Uma wenza kanjalo kungadingeka ukulalela kakhulu kunokukhuluma. Futhi yilwa nokucindezela kokuyingena emlonyeni ngamazwi anjengathi, “Unamanga” noma, “Akufanele uzizwe ngaleyo ndlela.” Ngempela, ‘ungavali indlebe yakho ekukhaleni kompofu.’ (IzAga 21:13) Uma kunokukhulumisana okukhululekile, osemusha angaba nendawo angaphendukela kuyo ngezikhathi zosizi futhi mancane amathuba okuthi angaphendukela emikhubeni yokudla eyingozi.

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Kudingeka ukubekezela, ukuqonda nothando olukhulu ukuze usize labo abanokuphazamiseka kwemikhuba yokudla