Intsha Iyabuza . . .

Kungani Umama Egula Kangaka?

Uyise ka-Al wabulawa umdlavuza.a Ngenxa yokuthi wayefundiswe isithembiso seBhayibheli sovuko, u-Al ngandlela-thile wakwazi ukubhekana nalokhu kushonelwa. Kodwa lapho kutholakala ukuthi unina unomdlavuza, usizi lwaqala futhi. U-Al wayewusaba umcabango wokulahlekelwa omunye umzali. Wayezibuza elusizi, ‘Kungani kungumama ogulayo?’

NGOKUKADKT. Leonard Felder, “kunamaMelika angaphezu kwezigidi ezingamashumi ayisithupha . . . abhekene nokugula noma ukukhubazeka kothandekayo.” UFelder uyanezela: “Nsuku zonke, isisebenzi esisodwa kwezine eMelika sinomthwalo owenezelwe wokunakekela izidingo zomzali ogulayo” noma omunye othandekayo. Uma ubhekene nesimo esinjalo, awuwedwa. Noma kunjalo, ukubona othile omthandayo egula kuyesabisa futhi kubuhlungu. Ungabhekana kanjani nalesi simo?

Kungani Umzali Wami Egula?

IzAga 15:13 zithi: “Ngosizi lwenhliziyo uyachotshozwa umoya.” Kungokwemvelo ukuphatheka kabi lapho umzali wakho egula. Ngokwesibonelo, ungase uzizwe unecala ngenxa yesimo somzali wakho. Mhlawumbe wena nomzali wakho beningezwani kahle. Kungenzeka niye naba nezimpikiswano ezivuthayo. Manje njengoba umzali wakho egula, ungase ube nomuzwa wokuthi yiphutha lakho. Kodwa nakuba ukuxabana emkhayeni kungase kubangele ukucindezeleka, akuvamile ukubangela ukugula okungathi sína. Ukuxabana nokungavumelani okuncane kungase kuphakame ngisho nasemikhayeni yamaKristu enothando. Ngakho akudingeki ukuba ube nomuzwa wecala, njengokungathi nguwena obangela ukuba umzali wakho abe nezinkinga zempilo.

Empeleni, umama noma ubaba wakho ugula ngenxa yesono sabazali bethu bokuqala, u-Adamu no-Eva. (Roma 5:12) Ngenxa yaleso sono sokuqala, “yonke indalo iyaqhubeka ibubula kanyekanye futhi iba sezinhlungwini kanyekanye kuze kube manje.”—Roma 8:22.

Imizwa Ebuhlungu

Noma kunjalo, ungase ukhathazeke. Umama kaTerri unesifo esibuhlungu kakhulu okuthiwa i-lupus. UTerri uyavuma: “Njalo uma ngingekho ekhaya, ngiyakhathazeka, ngizibuza ukuthi ingabe uyaphila yini umama. Ngikuthola kunzima ukugxilisa ingqondo kokuthile. Nokho, njengoba ngingafuni ukuba akhathazeke, angimtsheli lutho.”

IzAga 12:25 zithi: “Ukukhathazeka enhliziyweni yomuntu kuyayithobisa.” Ngokuvamile intsha ekulesi simo iyacindezeleka. UTerri uthi wadumala lapho ebona ukuthi unina wayengasakwazi ukwenza imisebenzi elula. Okucindezela nakakhulu ukuthi intsha—ikakhulukazi amantombazane—ngokuvamile iyaphoqeleka ukuba ifeze izibopho ezengeziwe. NgokukaProfesa Bruce Compas, “amantombazane enza imisebenzi yasekhaya ewumthwalo, enjengokunakekela indlu nezingane zakubo ezisakhula, engaphezu kwamandla ayo futhi ephazamisa ukuthuthuka kwayo kwezenhlalo.” Enye intsha iyazihlukanisa, ilalele umculo obangela ukucindezeleka.—IzAga 18:1.

Uvalo lokuthi umzali angase ashone nalo luvamile. UTerri unguzinyobulala, kanti unina ungumzali oyedwa. UTerri wayekhala njalo lapho unina eyolaliswa esibhedlela, enovalo lokuthi wayeyohamba unomphela. UTerri uthi: “Sasibabili kuphela. Ngangingafuni ukulahlekelwa umngane wami omkhulu.” Intombazane esakhula okuthiwa uMartha nayo yavuma: “Ngineminyaka engu-18, kodwa ngisakwesaba ukulahlekelwa abazali bami. Bekungabangela isizungu esikhulu.” Ezinye izindlela intsha ethinteka ngazo lapho umzali egula ukuqwasha, amaphupho asabisayo nokungadli.

Lokho Ongakwenza

Nakuba izimo zingase zibonakale zinzima manje, ungabhekana nazo! Qala ngokutshela abazali bakho izinto ozesabayo nezikukhathazayo. Sibi kangakanani ngempela isimo somzali wakho? Anjani amathuba okuba alulame? Yimaphi amalungiselelo asenziwe okuba unakekelwe uma umzali wakho engalulami? Ingabe kunengozi yokuba nawe ube nesifo esifanayo lapho usukhulile? Nakuba kunzima ngabazali ukuxoxa ngezinto ezinjalo, uma ucela usizo lwabo ngomoya ophansi nangenhlonipho, cishe bayokwenza okusemandleni abo ukuba bakusize futhi bakusekele.

Batshele nangemizwa yakho eyakhayo. U-Al ukhumbula ukuthi wehluleka ukwenza kanjalo lapho ezwa ukuthi unina wayebangwa nezibi ngenxa yomdlavuza. Uthi: “Angimtshelanga indlela engimthanda ngayo. Ngangazi ukuthi wayefuna ngimtshele, kodwa njengosemusha okhulayo ngazizwa ngingakhululekile ukumtshela indlela engizizwa ngayo. Ngemva nje kwalokho washona, futhi manje ngizizwa nginecala ngoba angizange ngilisebenzise ithuba ngesikhathi ngisenalo. Ngiyazisola ngoba wayengumuntu obaluleke kakhulu ekuphileni kwami.” Ungakugodli ukutshela abazali bakho indlela obathanda ngayo.

Uma kungenzeka, thola ulwazi ngesifo esiphethe umzali wakho. (IzAga 18:15) Mhlawumbe udokotela wenu angakusiza kule ndaba. Ukuba nolwazi kuyokusiza ukuba ube nozwela, isineke nokuqonda okwengeziwe. Futhi kungakusiza kukuhlomisele noma yiluphi ushintsho olungase lwenzeke emzimbeni womzali wakho, njengokuba nezibazi, ukuqothuka kwezinwele noma ukucobeka komzimba.

Ingabe umzali wakho usesibhedlela? Khona-ke, lapho umvakashela, yenza lezo zikhathi zibe ezijabulisayo nezakhayo. Londoloza ingxoxo eyakhayo. Mxoxele izindaba eziphathelene nomsebenzi wakho wesikole nezindaba zobuKristu. (Qhathanisa nezAga 25:25.) Uma uhlala ezweni lapho kulindeleke khona ukuba izihlobo ziphathele ogulayo ukudla futhi zimenzele imisebenzi ethile, feza ingxenye yakho ngaphandle kokukhononda. Ukuzigcina ucocekile futhi ugqoke kahle ngeke nje kujabulise umzali wakho kuphela kodwa futhi kuyozihlaba umxhwele izisebenzi zasesibhedlela nodokotela. Lokhu kungase kwenze nomzali wakho aphathwe kangcono.b

Ingabe umzali wakho ululamela ekhaya? Khona-ke, yenza okusemandleni akho ukuze usize ekumnakekeleni. Zinikele ukufeza ingxenye ethé xaxa yomsebenzi wasekhaya. Zama ukulingisa uJehova “ngokuphana ngaphandle kokusola.” (Jakobe 1:5) Yenza okusemandleni akho ukubonisa umoya wokungakhonondi, wethemba nowakhayo.

Yiqiniso, kusenomsebenzi wesikole okufanele uwenze. Zama ukubekela eceleni isikhathi sawo, ngoba kusabalulekile ukuba ufunde. Uma kungenzeka, zinike nesikhathi sokuphumula nokuzilibazisa. (UmShumayeli 4:6) Lokhu kuyokwenza uqabuleke futhi kuyokusiza ukuba umsekele kangcono umzali wakho. Okokugcina, gwema ukuba unkom’ idla yodwa. Ncika ekusekeleni kwamaKristu okanye nawo. (Galathiya 6:2) UTerri uthi: “Ibandla laba umkhaya wakithi. Abadala babehlala bekulungele ukuxoxa nami bangikhuthaze. Angisoze ngakukhohlwa lokho.”

Ukulinganisela Ngokomoya

Okubaluleke kunakho konke ukulondoloza ukulinganisela kwakho okungokomoya. Zigcine umatasa ngemisebenzi engokomoya, njengokufunda iBhayibheli, ukuba khona emihlanganweni nokushumayela kwabanye. (1 Korinte 15:58) Phakathi nezinyanga zamaholide, uTerri wayeba nengxenye ethé xaxa emsebenzini wokushumayela ngokuba yiphayona elisizayo. Uyanezela: “Umama wayengikhuthaza njalo ukuba ngilungiselele futhi ngibe khona emihlanganweni eHholo LoMbuso. Lokho kwakusizuzisa sobabili. Njengoba ayengeke akwazi ukuya kuyo yonke imihlangano ngendlela afisa ngayo, ngangilalelisisa ukuze ngimxoxele kamuva. Wayethembele kimina ukuba ngimuphe ukudla okungokomoya lapho engaphumeleli ukuba khona.”

Isihloko se-New York Times sayifingqa kahle indaba lapho sikhuluma ngesisebenzi sezenhlalakahle “esasimangala njalo ukuthi izingane zingakhula futhi zichume kangakanani naphezu kosizi lokugula kwabazali.” Sithi: “Ziba namakhono ebezingazi ukuthi zinawo . . . Uma zikwazi ukubhekana nalesi simo, zingabhekana nanoma yini.”

Nawe ungabhekana nale nkathi enzima. Ngokwesibonelo, unina kaTerri useluleme ngokwanele ukuba azinakekele. Mhlawumbe ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, umzali wakho naye uyolulama. Kodwa okwamanje, ungakhohlwa ukuthi uMngane wakho wasezulwini, uJehova, uyokusekela. ‘Uyayizwa imikhuleko’ futhi uyolalela lapho ucela usizo. (IHubo 65:2) Uyokunika wena—nomzali wakho ohlonipha uNkulunkulu—“amandla angaphezu kwavamile” ukuze nibhekane nalesi simo.—2 Korinte 4:7; IHubo 41:3.

[Imibhalo yaphansi]

[Amazwi acashunwe esihlokweni ekhasini 22]

“Njalo uma ngingekho ekhaya, ngiyakhathazeka, ngizibuza ukuthi ingabe uyaphila yini umama”

[Izithombe ekhasini 23]

Ukufunda amaqiniso aphathelene nesifo somzali wakho kungakuhlomisa kangcono ukuze ube usizo