Izingane Zifanelwe Ukuboniswa Uthando Nokwamukeleka

“BONISA ingane uthando oluncane, uzothola olukhulu.” Wabhala kanjalo umlobi nengqapheli eyiNgisi yekhulu le-19, uJohn Ruskin. Cishe abazali abaningi bazovuma ukuthi kunomvuzo ukuthanda izingane zakho, hhayi nje ngenxa yokuthi nazo zizokuthanda kuphela, kodwa okubaluleke kakhulu kungenxa yethonya elihle lolu thando oluba nalo kuzo.

Ngokwesibonelo, incwadi ethi Love and Its Place in Nature ithi ngaphandle kothando “izingane zivame ukufa.” U-Ashley Montagu, oyisazi esidumile semvelaphi nenhlalo yabantu, ongowokuzalwa eBrithani, wathi: “Ingane engazange iboniswe uthando ihluke kakhulu ngokomzwelo, ngokomzimba nangokwengqondo enganeni eye yaboniswa uthando. Le engazange iboniswe uthando ikhula nangendlela ehlukile enganeni eye yaboniswa uthando.”

I-Toronto Star yabika ngocwaningo olwafinyelela isiphetho esifanayo. Yathi: “Izingane ezikhule zingakutholi ukwangiwa, ukugonwa noma ukuthintwa . . . zinamazinga ama-hormone okucindezeleka aphakeme kakhulu.” Ngempela, ukunganakwa lapho zisencane “kungaba nemiphumela yesikhathi eside ekhonweni lokufunda nasenkumbulweni.”

Lokhu kugcizelela isidingo sokuba khona kwabazali. Kungenjalo, zingaba khona kanjani izibopho eziqinile phakathi komzali nengane? Kodwa kuyadabukisa ukuthi ngisho nasemazweni acebile omhlaba, ukuthambekela manje kuwukunakekela izidingo zengane ngaphandle kokuhilela abazali. Izingane zithunyelwa esikoleni, kuSonto-sikole, emsebenzini, endaweni yokungcebeleka futhi zinikwe imali zithunyelwe ezindaweni zokuzijabulisa. Njengoba zikhishelwe ngaphandle futhi zikude nomkhaya, izigidi zezingane zivame ukuzizwa zinganakiwe, zingafunwa futhi zingathandwa, zizungezwe abantu abadala abangenabungane—nakuba zingase zingabonisi. Umuzwa onjalo owandile ezinganeni kungenzeka yiwo obangela ukuba kube nezingane ezihlala emgwaqweni ezibalelwa ku-3 000 eBerlin. Zivame ukuba njengoMicha omncane owathi: “Angisafunwa muntu.” Umfana waseJalimane oneminyaka engu-9 ubudala naye wakhononda: “Kungangcono ngibe yinja yasekhaya.”

Ukuphathwa Kabi Kwezingane Kungezindlela Eziningi

Ukungayinaki ingane kuwuhlobo lokuyiphatha kabi olubonisa ukuntula lokho iBhayibheli elikubiza ngokuthi “ukusondelana ngokomzwelo okungokwemvelo.” (Roma 1:31; 2 Thimothewu 3:3) Futhi kungaholela ezindleleni ezimbi kakhulu zokuyiphatha kabi. Ngokwesibonelo, kusukela ngoNyaka Wezingane Emhlabeni Wonke ngo-1979, kuye kwanakwa kakhulu izinkinga zokuphathwa kabi ngokomzimba nokuxhashazwa ngokobulili kwezingane. Kuyiqiniso ukuthi kunzima ukuthola izibalo ezithé ngqo, futhi ziyahlukahluka ngokwezindawo. Kodwa akungabazeki ukuthi kunzima ukuqeda izibazi izingane ezixhashazwe ngokobulili ezikhula nazo.

Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ukuphathwa kabi okwaluhlobo luni, kutshela izingane ukuthi azithandwa futhi azamukelekile. Futhi le nkinga ibonakala yanda. Ngokwephephandaba laseJalimane i-Welt, “izingane eziningi zikhula zisaba umphakathi.” Liyanezela: “Izingane zintula imfudumalo yekhaya. [UGerd Romeike, umqondisi wesikhungo sokuqondisa izingane eHamburg] uthi isibopho esingokomzwelo phakathi kwezingane nabazali siyancipha, noma asakhiwa nhlobo kwasekuqaleni. Izingane ezinjalo zizizwa zinganakiwe futhi azikutholi ukulondeka ezikufisayo.”

Izingane ezincishwa ilungelo lazo lokufunwa nokuthandwa zingase zibe nenzondo, zikhiphele isibhongo kulabo abangazinaki noma mhlawumbe emphakathini uwonke. Okungenani eminyakeni eyishumi edlule, umbiko womkhankaso waseCanada wabonisa isidingo sokuba kuthathwe isinyathelo esiphuthumayo funa sinyamalale sonke isizukulwane “esicabanga ukuthi umphakathi awunandaba naso.”

Izingane ezingamukelekile nezingathandwa zingase zilingekele ekubeni zibaleke ekhaya ukuze zibalekele izinkinga, bese zithola ezinkulu emadolobheni agcwele ubugebengu, izidakamizwa nokuziphatha okubi. Eqinisweni, eminyakeni engaphezu kwengu-20 edlule, amaphoyisa athi kunedolobha elithile e-United States elalinezingane ezibalelwa ku-20 000 ezineminyaka engaphansi kwengu-16 ezazibaleké emakhaya. Zachazwa ngokuthi “umkhiqizo wamakhaya ahlukene kanye nonya, obekubangelwa abazali abadakwayo nabayimilutha yezidakamizwa. Zihlala emgwaqweni, ziphile ngokudayisa umzimba bese zishaywa abaqashi zize ziphelelwe ukuzethemba, ziphilela ukwesaba ukujeziswa uma zizama ukubaleka kuleli bhizinisi.” Ngokudabukisayo, naphezu kwemizamo yobuqotho yokuguqula lesi simo esihlazisayo, sisaqhubeka.

Izingane ezikhulela ezimweni ezichazwe ngenhla zikhula zibe ngabantu abadala abangalinganiseli, ngokuvamile abangakwazi ukukhulisa izingane zabo kahle. Njengoba zingamukelekile futhi zingathandwa zona ngokwazo, kamuva ziba nezingane ezifana nazo—ezizizwa zingamukelekile futhi zingathandwa. Isazi sezombangazwe saseJalimane salibeka ngembaba sathi: “Izingane ezingathandwa zikhula zibe abantu abadala abagcwele inzondo.”

Yiqiniso, abazali abayizigidi benza okusemandleni abo ukuqiniseka ukuthi izingane zabo ziyazi ukuthi zamukelekile futhi ziyathandwa. Abazitsheli nje ngomlomo kuphela kodwa babonisa nangokuzinakekela ngothando futhi bazinake ngendlela zonke izingane okufanele zinakwe ngayo. Noma kunjalo, izinkinga zisekhona—izinkinga ngokusobala ezingaphezu kwamandla abazali. Ngokwesibonelo, kwezinye izingxenye zomhlaba, izimiso zomnotho nezombangazwe zabantu abangaphelele ziyahluleka ukunikeza izingane ukunakekelwa kwezempilo okufanele, imfundo efanele nokudla okwanele kanye nokuvikelwa enkathazweni yokugqilazwa kwezingane nezimo zokuphila ezihlazisayo. Ngokuvamile lezi zimo zandiswa ubugovu, ukukhohlakala nokungacabangeli kwabantu abadala.

UKofi Annan, unobhala-jikelele weZizwe Ezihlangene, wabala ezinye zezinkinga eziyinhloko izingane ezibhekana nazo namuhla lapho ebhala: “Izigidi zezingane zisakhuthazelela ubumpofu obesabekayo; amakhulu ezinkulungwane ayahlupheka ngenxa yezingxabano nokuntengantenga kwezomnotho; amashumi ezinkulungwane akhubazeka ezimpini; ezinye eziningi ziba yizintandane noma zibulawe yingculaza.”

Kodwa zikhona izindaba ezinhle! Izinhlangano ze-UN, njenge-United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF) ne-World Health Organization, ziye zasebenza kanzima ukuze zithuthukise isimo sezingane. U-Annan waphawula: “Izingane eziningi zizalwa zinempilo futhi eziningi ziyagonywa; eziningi ziyakwazi ukufunda nokubhala; eziningi zikhululekile ukuba zifunde, zidlale futhi zijabulele ubuntwana kunalokho okwakucatshangwa eshumini leminyaka edlule.” Noma kunjalo, waxwayisa: “Lesi akusona isikhathi sokusonga izandla.”

Lezo Okufanele Zinakwe Ngokukhethekile

Ezinye izingane kufanele zinakwe ngokukhethekile. Ngasekuqaleni kwawo-1960, umhlaba washaqeka ukuzwa imibiko evela emazweni amaningana yokuzalwa kwezingane okuthiwa eze-thalidomide. Lapho abesifazane abakhulelwe bephuza lesi sidakamizwa esiqeda izinhlungu nesilalisayo, sasiba nemiphumela emibi engalindelekile eyayibangela ukuba bazale izingane ezinezitho ezishwabene noma ezingenazo nhlobo. Izingalo nemilenze kwakuvame ukuba yizingini.

Emashumini amane eminyaka kamuva, into esongela ukugoga izingane amabhomu agqitshwayo.a Kulinganiselwa ukuthi kunamabhomu agqitshwayo asukela ezigidini ezingu-60 kuya kwezingu-110 agcwele emhlabeni wonke. Abantu ababalelwa ku-26 000 bayafa noma bagogeke unyaka ngamunye—kuhlanganise nezingane eziningi. Kusukela ngo-1997, lapho uJody Williams ewina uMklomelo Wokuthula KaNobel ngenxa yomkhankaso wakhe wokuqeda amabhomu agqitshwayo, kuningi okuye kwenziwa ngale nkinga. Kodwa amabhomu agqitshwayo asekhona. Sikhuluma ngemizamo yokuqeda amabhomu agqitshwayo emhlabeni, isazi sezombangazwe saseJalimane sathi: “Kunjengokuzama ukukhipha amanzi kubhavu ngokhezo ube uvulele umpompi.”

Elinye iqembu lezingane elidinga ukunakekelwa okukhethekile yizintandane. UJehova uNkulunkulu, uMdali womuntu, wayehlose ukuba izingane zikhuliswe ngokunakekela kothando kukamama nobaba. Ingane idinga futhi ifanelwe ukunakekelwa ngabazali kanjalo.

Izinhlangano zezintandane nezingane zokutholwa zizama ukunakekela izidingo zezingane ezingenabazali. Nokho, kuyadabukisa ukuthi ezinye izingane ezihluphekayo ezikudinga ngempela ukunakekelwa yizo kanye ezivame ukunganakwa—lezo ezigulayo, ezinokuphazamiseka kwemikhuba yokufunda, ezikhubazekile noma ezinabazali bakwelinye izwe.

Kuye kwasungulwa izinhlangano ezikhuthaza abantu ukuba banikele imali njalo futhi ngaleyo ndlela babe ‘abondli’ bengane yasezweni elinesimo somnotho esiphansi. Imali enikelwe isetshenziselwa ukufundisa ingane noma ukuyinakekela ngezinto ezidingayo. Uma kudingeka, kungase kuthunyelelwane izithombe kubhalelwane nezincwadi ukuze kuqiniswe ubuhlobo. Nakuba liwusizo, leli lungiselelo alilona ikhambi langempela.

Esinye isibonelo esithakazelisayo salokho okuye kwenziwa ukusiza izingane ezingenabazali yinhlangano eyagubha unyaka wamashumi amahlanu ngo-1999.

I-SOS Children’s Village

Ngo-1949, uHermann Gmeiner wasungula lokho akubiza ngokuthi i-SOS Children’s Village e-Imst, e-Austria. Kusukela kulesi siqalo esincane, inhlangano yakhe iye yakhula yahlanganisa amadolobhana abalelwa ku-1 500 nezinhlangano ezifanayo ezisemazweni angu-131 ase-Afrika, e-Asia, eMelika naseYurophu.

UGmeiner wasekela inhlangano yakhe ezimisweni ezine zokuyiqondisa eziyisidingo—ukuba khona kukamama, izingane zakwenu, ikhaya nedolobhana. “Umama” uyisisekelo somkhaya onezingane eziyisihlanu noma eziyisithupha—noma ngaphezulu. Uhlala nazo futhi azame ukuzibonisa uthando nokunakekelwa okulindelekile kumama wangempela. Izingane zihlala ndawonye “njengomkhaya” owodwa “nomama” oyedwa kuze kufike isikhathi lapho sezihamba “ekhaya.” “Umkhaya” uhlanganisa izingane ezinobudala obuhlukahlukene. “Zinodadewabo nabafowabo” abadala nabancane, izingane zifunda ukunakekelana, okuzisiza ukuba zigweme ukuba nobugovu. Kwenziwa imizamo yokuba izingane ziqale ukuba yingxenye “yomkhaya” zisencane ngangokunokwenzeka. Izingane zandawonye zigcinwa “emkhayeni” owodwa.

La madolobhana akhiwa “imikhaya” engaba ngu-15, ngamunye uhlala endlini yawo. Zonke izingane ziqeqeshelwa ukuba zisize “unina” ekwenzeni imisebenzi edingekayo ekhaya. Nakuba ubaba engekho, kwenziwa ilungiselelo lokuba umuntu wesilisa anikeze iseluleko sikababa nesiyalo esidingekayo. Izingane zifunda ezikoleni zendawo. “Umkhaya” ngamunye uthola imali ethile nyanga zonke ukuze ukwazi ukuhlangabezana nezindleko. Ukudla nezingubo zokugqoka kuthengwa endaweni. Inhloso iwukujwayelanisa izingane nokuphila komkhaya kwangempela nazo zonke izinkinga nezinjabulo ezihambisana nako, okuzenza ziphile ukuphila okuvamile ngangokunokwenzeka. Lokhu kuzihlomisela ukuba nemikhaya yazo uma sezikhulile.

Kusathungathwa Ikhambi Elifanele

Izinhlangano zezingane zokutholwa, zezintandane, i-SOS Children’s Village, i-UNICEF nezinhlangano noma amaqembu afanayo afeza injongo enhle uma ezama ukusekela izingane ezihluphekayo. Kodwa ayikho inhlangano engaphika iqiniso lokuthi abanye abantu bayahlupheka. Yize nakuba zingathanda, ngeke zinike ingane ekhubazekile izitho eziphilayo, zishukumise ingqondo yengane ephazamiseke engqondweni, zihlanganise ingane nabazali bayo abahlala ngokwehlukana noma abahlukanisile noma ziyibuyisele umzali onothando owashona.

Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi bazama kangakanani, abantu ngeke bakwazi ukuletha ikhambi elifanele lezinkinga zezingane. Kodwa ziyoxazululeka! Yebo, futhi ngokunokwenzeka ngokushesha kunokuba ungase ulindele. Kodwa kanjani?

[Umbhalo waphansi]

[Izithombe ekhasini 8, 9]

Ingane idinga futhi ifanelwe uthando lwabo bobabili abazali