Intsha Iyabuza . . .

Kungani Umzali Wami Engangithandi?

“Ngaphambi kokuba ubaba adivose umama, sasiye siye ebhishi, sidle ngaphandle, sivakashele izindawo ezithile ngemoto yakhe. Kwabe sekuphela nyá lokho. Ubaba waba omunye umuntu. Ngicabanga ukuthi wangidivosa nami.”—UKaren.a

BANINGI kakhulu abasha abazizwa ngaleyo ndlela. NjengoKaren, banomuzwa wokuthi umzali akasabathandi—noma akakaze abathande. Lapha asisho imizwa edlulayo yokungajabuli engabangelwa ukuxabana kwesikhashana kwentsha nabazali bayo; futhi asisho ukucasuka okuba khona ngezinye izikhathi ngenxa yokuyalwa abazali. Kunalokho, ngezinye izikhathi abazali baba necala lokungazishayi mkhuba nhlobo izingane zabo, bangazinaki futhi bangazifundisi. Kwezinye izimo abazali basuke benomkhuba wokuziphatha ngesandla esiqinile nangokhahlo izingane, mhlawumbe bazijivaze noma bazishaye ngonya.

Ayikho into ebuhlungu njengokungafunwa umzali. “Kwangenza ngazizwa ngingafunwa muntu futhi ngingathandwa,” kusho uKaren. Uma usesimweni esinzima kanjalo, funda lokhu kusikisela kwendlela ongayinqoba ngayo imizwa yakho. Ungalilahli ithemba, ngisho noma umzali wakho engakunaki, ungaphumelela ekuphileni!

Ukuqonda Umzali Wakho

Okokuqala nje, kuyafaneleka ukulindela umzali wakho ukuba akuthande. Uthando umzali athanda ngalo ingane yakhe kumelwe luzakhekele futhi luthembeke njengokuphuma kwelanga. UNkulunkulu ulindele ukuba abazali balubonise lolo thando. (Kolose 3:21; Thithu 2:4) Pho kungani abazali ngezinye izikhathi bengazinaki, bezilahla noma bezihlupha izingane zabo?

Okunye okungase kube umthelela izinto ababhekane nazo ekuphileni. Zibuze, ‘Bakufundaphi abazali bami ukukhulisa izingane?’ Ezimweni eziningi abazali bafunda endleleni abazali babo ababakhulise ngayo beseyizingane. Futhi ezweni esiphila kulo elikhahlazayo, elinenqwaba yabantu “abangenakho ukusondelana ngokomzwelo okungokwemvelo,” leyo mfundo ivame ukuba namaphutha kakhulu. (2 Thimothewu 3:1-5) Ngezinye izikhathi, umphumela uba uchungechunge olubi, abazali bahluphe izingane zabo njengoba nje nabo babehlushwa.

Ngaphezu kwalokho, ziningi izinto okungenzeka ukuthi zikhathaza abazali. Abanye bazama ukubalekela usizi nokukhungatheka ngokusebenza ngokweqile, ngokuzitika ngotshwala noma ngezidakamizwa. Ngokwesibonelo, uWilliam noJoan bakhuliswa ubaba oyisidakwa. “Kwakunzima ukuba ubaba asincome,” kusho uJoan. “Kodwa okwakuba kubi nakakhulu kwakuwulaka lapho esephuzile. Wayethethisa umama kuze kuse. Ngangihlale ngesaba.” Ngisho noma abazali bengazihlukumezi ingcaca izingane, izenzo zabo zingase zibaqede amandla okuzibonisa uthando nokuzinaka.

UWilliam unomuzwa wokuthi uyaqonda ukuthi kungani uyise ayeshintshashintsha kangaka. Uyachaza: “Ubaba wakhulela eBerlin, eJalimane, phakathi neMpi Yezwe II. Lapho esengumfana wabona izinto eziningi kakhulu ezihlasimulisa umzimba nabantu abaningi befa. Wayeshikashikeka nsuku zonke ukuze nje athole okuya ethunjini. Ngicabanga ukuthi zamthinta kabi kakhulu ubaba izinto ezamehlela.” Ngempela, iBhayibheli liyavuma ukuthi abantu abacindezelwe kakhulu bangase benze ngokungenangqondo.—UmShumayeli 7:7.

Ingabe uWilliam noJoan bacabanga ukuthi lokho uyise abhekana nakho kuyayivuna indlela ayebaphatha ngayo? “Cha,” kusho uWilliam. “Izinto ezamehlela azizona izaba zokudakwa nokusiphatha kabi. Kodwa ukuzazi lezi zinto kungisizile ngaqonda kangcono ukuthi kwenziwa yini ubaba asiphathe kanje.”

Ukwamukela iqiniso lokuthi abazali bakho abaphelele nokufunda okuthile ngendlela abakhula ngayo kungakusiza kakhulu ubaqonde. IzAga 19:11 zithi: “Ukuhlakanipha komuntu kubambezela intukuthelo yakhe.”

Ukunqoba Imizwa Yakho

Kuneminye imizwa engemnandi engase ikuhluphe ngenxa yesimo sasekhaya. Ngokwesibonelo, ukunganakwa yibo bobabili abazali bakhe kwenza uPatricia wazizwa “engeyinto yalutho futhi engathandwa.” ULaNeisha wakuthola kunzima ukwethemba amadoda ngemva kokuba uyise ebashiyile lapho eneminyaka engu-8 kuphela ubudala. UShayla yena wazithola etetemela cishe bonke abantu ayebazi, ukuze nje avale isikhala esashiywa unina “owayesebuswa izidakamizwa.”

Intukuthelo nomona nakho kungaba inkinga. Lapho uKaren ebona uyise owayesephinde washada ebonisa umkhaya wakhe omusha uthando naye ayelulangazelela, wayeba “nomona.” Ngezinye izikhathi uLeilani wayeze abe nomuzwa wokuthi uyabazonda abazali bakhe. Uthi: “Sasixabana njalo nabo.”

Uma sicabangela lezi zimo, siyayiqonda imizwa yabo. Nokho, ungayinqoba kanjani imizwelo emibi kanjalo? Cabanga ngaloku kusikisela okulandelayo.

• Sondela kuJehova uNkulunkulu. (Jakobe 4:8) Lokho ungakwenza ngokufunda iBhayibheli nangokuzihlanganisa njalo nabantu bakhe. Lapho ubona indlela uJehova abaphatha ngayo abanye, uyokwazi ukuthi uqotho. Ungamethemba. UJehova wabuza ama-Israyeli: “Owesifazane angakhohlwa umntwana wakhe oncelayo ukuba angabi namusa kuyo indodana yesizalo sakhe na?” Wathembisa: “Yebo, bona bangakhohlwa, kodwa mina anginakukukhohlwa wena.” (Isaya 49:15) Ngakho thandaza njalo kuNkulunkulu. Ungazihluphi ngokubeka amazwi ngokucophelela. Uyakuqonda. (Roma 8:26) Yazi ukuthi uJehova uyakuthanda ngisho noma kubonakala sengathi akekho okuthandayo.—IHubo 27:10.

• Thululela isifuba kumuntu omdala omethembayo. Yakha ubungane nabantu abavuthiwe ngokomoya. Khululeka ubatshele imizwa yakho nezinto ezikukhathazayo. Ebandleni lobuKristu loFakazi BakaJehova, ungathola obaba nomama abangokomoya. (Marku 10:29, 30) Kodwa kungadingeka kube nguwe oyokhuluma nabo. Abanye ngeke bazi ukuthi uzizwa kanjani uma ungabatsheli. Impumuzo ongayithola ngokukhipha okusenhliziyweni yakho ingaba yinduduzo ngempela kuwe.—1 Samuweli 1:12-18.

• Zigcine umatasa ngokwenzela abanye izinto. Ukuze ungalokhu uzidabukela, zama ukungagxili ezicini ezimbi zesimo sakho. Kunalokho, funda ukubonga ngalokho onakho. Zivulele amathuba amaningi ‘ngokunakekela, hhayi ngesithakazelo somuntu siqu izindaba zakho kuphela, kodwa futhi unakekela ngesithakazelo somuntu siqu nezabanye.’ (Filipi 2:4) Zibekele imigomo engokomoya bese uzikhandla uyiphishekele ngombono omuhle. Ukukhonza izidingo zabanye enkonzweni yobuKristu kuyindlela enhle kakhulu yokungazinaki wena kodwa unake abanye.

• Qhubeka ubahlonipha abazali bakho. Khumbula njalo ukunamathela ezimisweni nasezindinganisweni zeBhayibheli. Kuhlanganisa nokuhlonipha abazali bakho. (Efesu 6:1, 2) Inhlonipho enjalo iyokwenza ungaziphindiseleli. Khumbula, noma umzali wakho angakona kangakanani ngeke kufaneleke ukuba nawe wenze okubi. Ngakho shiyela izinto kuJehova. (Roma 12:17-21) “Uthanda ukulunga” futhi unemizwa enamandla yokufuna ukuvikela izingane. (IHubo 37:28; Eksodusi 22:22-24) Njengoba uqhubeka ubabonisa inhlonipho efanele abazali bakho, zama ukuhlakulela izithelo zomoya kaNkulunkulu—ikakhulukazi uthando.—Galathiya 5:22, 23.

Ungaphumelela

Akungabazeki ukuthi kungaba buhlungu ukungathandwa umzali. Kodwa ukwehluleka komzali akudingeki kunqume uhlobo lomuntu oyoba yilo. Ungakhetha ukuba umuntu ojabulayo nophumelelayo ngokusebenzisa izimiso zeBhayibheli osekukhulunywe ngazo ekuphileni kwakho.

UWilliam, ocashunwe ngaphambili, uyisisebenzi sokuzithandela sesikhathi esigcwele ehhovisi legatsha loFakazi BakaJehova. Uthi: “Ziningi izinto uJehova asinikeze zona zokusisiza ukuba sikwazi ukubhekana nalezi zimo ezibuhlungu. Yeka ilungelo okuyilo ukuba noBaba wasezulwini onothando nokhathalela kangaka!” Udadewabo, uJoan, uyiphayona lesikhathi esigcwele, ukhonza lapho kunesidingo esikhulu khona sabashumayeli. Uthi: “Ngesikhathi sikhula, sawubona umehluko ocacile phakathi ‘kwabakhonza uNkulunkulu nabangamkhonziyo.’” (Malaki 3:18) “Esabhekana nakho kwasenza sazimisela kakhulu ukulwela iqiniso nokulenza libe ngelethu.”

Kungaba okufanayo nakuwe. IBhayibheli lithi: “Abahlwanyela ngezinyembezi bayakuvuna ngokuthokoza.” (IHubo 126:5) Lisho ukuthini lelo vesi? Uma uzikhandla ekusebenziseni izimiso ezilungile ngaphansi kwezimo ezinzima, ekugcineni izinyembezi zakho ziyophenduka intokozo lapho uthola isibusiso sikaNkulunkulu.

Ngakho qhubeka ulwela ukusondela kuJehova uNkulunkulu. (Heberu 6:10; 11:6) Ngisho noma sekuyiminyaka eminingi ukhathazekile, ukhungathekile futhi uzizwa unecala, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi le mizwa ingancipha esikhundleni sayo ube ‘nokuthula kukaNkulunkulu okudlula konke ukucabanga.’—Filipi 4:6, 7.

[Umbhalo waphansi]

[Ibhokisi ekhasini 14]

Ingabe Unomuzwa Wokuthi . . .

• awuyinto yalutho?

• akulondekile noma kuwubuwula ukuthemba abanye?

• udinga ukuhlale uqinisekiswa?

• uyehluleka ukuthiba intukuthelo noma umona?

Uma uphendula ngoyebo kule mibuzo, xoxa nomzali omethembayo, umdala, noma umngane ovuthiwe ngokomoya ngokushesha ngangokunokwenzeka.

[Izithombe ekhasini 15]

Thatha izinyathelo ezizokwenza ukwazi ukunqoba imizwa yakho