Umbono WeBhayibheli

Ingabe Isehlukaniso Siyikhambi?

KUSEBRITHANI futhi umfundisi wemukela labo abakhona emcimbini othile ongcwele. Phambi kwakhe kumi umbhangqwana, oneqembu labangane osondelene nalo kanye nezingane. Ingabe basemcimbini womshado ojabulisayo? Lutho! Lo mcimbi owokwazisa obala ukuphela komshado wawo. Yebo, isehlukaniso sesivame kakhulu kangangokuba amanye amasonto asenezinkonzo zaso!

Ingabe ucabangela isehlukaniso? Uma kunjalo, ingabe ukuchitheka komshado wenu kuyoholela ekuphileni okujabulisayo? Zikhona yini izinyathelo ezisebenzayo ongazithatha ukuze ujabule wena nomngane wakho womshado?

“Babe Nyamanye”

Lapho umbhangqwana wokuqala ongabantu ushada, uNkulunkulu wathi indoda kumelwe “inamathele kumkayo babe nyamanye.” (Genesise 2:24) Ngakho, umshado wawuzoba isibopho saphakade. Yingakho uJesu kamuva athi ‘isizathu sokufeba’ yisona kuphela esiyisisekelo sesehlukaniso esingokomBhalo esivumela umuntu ukuba abuye angenele omunye umshado.—Mathewu 19:3-9.a

Lokhu kugcizelela isidingo sokuzibophezela emshadweni. Kodwa kuthiwani uma umshado wenu unezinkinga ezingathí sina?

Ingabe Isehlukaniso Siyinkambo Yokuhlakanipha?

UJesu wanikeza isimiso okungase kunqunywe ngaso isisindo sezinyathelo zethu lapho ethi: “Ukuhlakanipha kubonakaliswa kulungile yimisebenzi yako.” (Mathewu 11:19) Ibonisani imiphumela yenqwaba yezehlukaniso zanamuhla ezenziwe ngezizathu eziwubala?

UProfesa Linda Waite oyisazi sezokuhlalisana kwabantu e-University of Chicago, owayehola ithimba lezazi elalicwaninga ngemishado engajabule uthi: “Izinzuzo zesehlukaniso ziye zenziwa ihaba.” Ngokufanayo, ngemva kokuchitha iminyaka engu-11 ehlaziya ukusabela kwezinkulungwane zabantu, uProfesa Michael Argyle wase-Oxford wathola ukuthi “abantu ababengajabule emphakathini yilabo ababehlukanisile noma ababehlala ngokwehlukana.” Kungabangelwa yini lokho?

Yize isehlukaniso singase siqede ezinye izinkinga, singadedela uchungechunge lwezenzakalo ezibuhlungu ongase ungabi namandla okuzilawula. Empeleni, ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi isehlukaniso ngokuvamile asizinciphisi izinkinga zokucindezeleka noma senze umuntu azihloniphe kakhudlwana.

Ngisho noma umshado wenu kungewona “umshado ofiselekayo,” ukuhlala nomngane wakho kungaletha izinzuzo. Abaningi abazimisele ukwenza kanjalo bathola injabulo. UProfesa Waite uthi: “Izinkinga eziningi ziyaxazululeka ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, bese abantu abashadile beba abajabule kakhudlwana.” Empeleni, olunye ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi cishe abangu-8 kwabayishumi “ababengajabule impela” emshadweni wabo kodwa abakugwema ukuhlukanisa bazithola “sebejabule emshadweni” wabo eminyakeni emihlanu kamuva. Ngakho-ke, ngisho noma kunezinkinga ezingathí sina, imibhangqwana yenza kahle ngokungaxhamazeleli ukuhlukanisa.

Izinyathelo Ezisebenzayo

Labo abacabangela isehlukaniso kufanele bazibuze ukuthi izinto ababezilindele emshadweni zinengqondo yini. Imithombo yezindaba iye yaqhakambisa isithombe sezithandani ezigcina ngokuba nendumezulu yomshado bese ziphila kahle ngemva kwalokho. Ngemva komshado, lapho la mathemba engafezeki, ukudumazeka okuba khona kungase kubhebhezele izingxabano. Njengoba isimo siya sishuba, imizwa elimele iqala ukubusa imizwelo. Uthando luyabuna futhi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi luthathelwa indawo intukuthelo nenzondo. Ngaphansi kwezimo ezinjalo, abanye bangase babe nomuzwa wokuthi ukuphela kwesixazululo isehlukaniso.—IzAga 13:12.

Esikhundleni sokuvumela imizwa engakhi ithonye umbono wakho, zihlanganise nabantu abanomuzwa oqinile wokuzibophezela emshadweni wabo. AmaKristu akhuthazwa ukuba ‘aqhubeke eduduzana futhi akhana.’ (1 Thesalonika 5:11) Ngokuqinisekile, labo abanemishado enezinkinga badinga isikhuthazo samakholwa akanye nabo.

Ukubaluleka Kwezimfanelo Zokuhlonipha UNkulunkulu

Umphostoli uPawulu weluleka: “Gqokani uthando lomzwelo, umusa, ukuthobeka, ubumnene, nokubekezela.” (Kolose 3:12) Izimfanelo zokuhlonipha uNkulunkulu zingalondoloza ubunye emshadweni ezikhathini ezinzima.

Ngokwesibonelo, uPawulu wabhala: “Qhubekani nibekezelelana futhi nithethelelana ngokukhululekile uma umuntu enesizathu sokukhononda ngomunye.” (Kolose 3:13) Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo sase-University of Michigan, uChristopher Peterson sithi: “Ukuthethelela kuyisici esihlobene kakhulu nenjabulo.”

Umusa, isisa, ukuthethelela kuholela othandweni, ‘oluyisibopho esiphelele sobunye.’ (Kolose 3:14) Ngokungangabazeki nake najabula ngothando lwenu. Ningakwazi yini ukubuye niluvuselele lolo thando enaniluzwa? Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi izimo zenu zinzima kangakanani, ningapheli amandla. Lisekhona ithemba. Ngempela ukuhlala ndawonye nokusebenzisa izimiso zeBhayibheli kungase kuphumele enjabulweni enkudlwana kunalokho ebenikucabanga. Ngokuqinisekile, imizamo yenu kule ndaba iyokwenza uJehova uNkulunkulu, uMsunguli womshado, ajabule.—IzAga 15:20.

[Umbhalo waphansi]