Ingabe Izikhathi Zokudla Zingabuqinisa Ubunye Bomkhaya Wakho?

“Ukuphila ngokwakho akugcwele nje injabulo, imfudumalo nokuthokomala kuphela kodwa kunanosizi nezinyembezi. Kodwa kungakhathaliseki ukuthi sijabule noma sidumele, okusalayo ukuthi kufanele sidle. Kokubili abantu abajabule nabadumele basengakujabulela ukudla okumnandi.”—ULaurie Colwin, umlobi waseMelika.

EMINYAKENI iminingi edlule emazweni aseNtshonalanga, imikhaya eminingi yayizazisa kakhulu izikhathi zokudla. Wonke umkhaya wawuhlala ndawonye etafuleni, okungenani kanye ngosuku ukuze udle. Zazingavunyelwa neze iziphazamiso. Akekho owayebuka umabonakude, alalele umculo ngama-earphone noma athumelele abangane imiyalezo ngomakhelekhukhwini. Isimo esizolile sasinika labo abakhona ithuba lokuncela ukuhlakanipha, ukuqinisa izibopho zomkhaya, nokuhleka ndawonye izinto ezenzeka usuku nosuku kuyilapho bejabulela ukudla okumnandi.

Kubantu abaningi namuhla, ukudla ndawonye njengomkhaya kungase kubonakale kuyisiko eselidlulelwe isikhathi. Emikhayeni eminingi izikhathi zokudla ndawonye njengomkhaya yinto engenzeka nje hhayi ewumthetho. Kungani imikhaya ikuthola kunzima ukudla ndawonye? Ingabe kusafanele lilondolozwe leli siko? Lingaletha ziphi izinzuzo elungwini ngalinye lomkhaya?

Ukudla Njengomkhaya—Isiko Eliphelayo

“Iqiniso lokuthi ukudla njengomkhaya kuye kwancipha kakhulu kulesi sizukulwane . . . kuwubufakazi obuphawulekayo bendlela okushintsha ngokushesha ngayo ukuxhumana kwethu njengabantu,” kuchaza uRobert Putnam encwadini ethi Bowling Alone. Yiziphi izinto eziye zaba nomthelela kulokhu? Okokuqala, ukwenyuka kwezindleko zokuphila kuye kwaholela ekutheni amadoda nomkawo basebenze amahora amaningi. Abazali abangabodwa, izimo zabo ezingokomnotho ezivame ukuba zimbi, babhekana nokukhandleka okukhulu nokungabi nasikhathi. Okwesibili, ukuphila kwanamuhla okumatasa kukhuthaza ukuba kudliwe ukudla okuthengwa sekuphekiwe noma okuphekeka ngokushesha. Akubona nje abantu abadala kuphela abamatasa kodwa nezingane zihileleke kakhulu ezintweni ezinjengemidlalo kuhlanganise nemisebenzi yangemva kwesikole.

Ngaphezu kwalokho, kunobaba abakhetha ukufika ekhaya izingane ezincane sezilele ngenxa yokuthi abafuni ukubhekana nokuhlupha kwazo ngesikhathi sokudla. Abanye abazali abafika ngesikhathi emakhaya, bakhetha ukuphakela izingane kuqala bese bezilalisa ukuze indoda nomkayo bakwazi ukuba nesikhathi esinokuthula ndawonye.

Izimo ezinjalo zibangela ukuba imikhaya idle ngokuhlukana. Imiyalezo echonywa eziqandisini ithatha indawo yezingxoxo ngezikhathi zokudla. Ilungu ngalinye lomkhaya lifika ekhaya lifudumeze ukudla osekuphekiwe kakade, lihlale phansi livule umabonakude, i-computer noma lidlale imidlalo yama-video. Le mikhuba ekhona kwezokuhlalisana ingase ibonakale ingenakulungiswa. Ngakho ingabe kuyafaneleka ngempela ukucabangisisa ngokuyigwema le mikhuba?

Izinzuzo Zaleli Siko

Ukudla njengemikhaya kunika abazali ithuba eliyingqayizivele lokunakekela izingane zabo ngokomzwelo. Isidlo sakusihlwa “siyindawo evamile yokuba izingane zithole ithuba lokuxoxa nabazali kungajahwe lutho,” kuchaza uMiriam Weinstein encwadini yakhe ethi The Surprising Power of Family Meals. “Isikhathi sokudla kwakusihlwa njengomkhaya singase singabi ikhambi lokuxazulula izinkinga, kodwa ngokuqinisekile sibonakala siyikhambi elilula.”

U-Eduardo, ongubaba waseSpain osekhulakhulile, uyavuma. “Lapho ngisahlala nabazali bami, kwakuba nabantu abangu-11 njalo etafuleni. Ubaba wayenza umzamo omkhulu wokuzokudla nomkhaya wakhe phakathi nosuku. Kwakuyisikhathi esijabulisa ngazo zonke izindlela. Sasazi ukuthi yini eyenzekayo elungwini ngalinye lomkhaya. Amahlaya nohleko kwakungantuleki. Lezo zinkumbulo ezinhle zangithonyela ukuba ngilandele isibonelo sikababa.”

Izikhathi zokudla njengomkhaya zisiza nezingane ukuba ziphile ukuphila okuhlelekile nokukahle. I-U.S. National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse e-University yaseColombo yathola ukuthi abasha abadla nemikhaya yabo cishe kahlanu ngesonto babenezinkinga ezimbalwa ezihlobene nokukhathazeka, ukuba nesizungu noma ukungabi namdlandla, futhi zazithola imiphumela engcono esikoleni.

U-Eduardo uyanezela: “Ngikholelwa ukuthi izikhathi zokudla njengomkhaya zenza izingane zizinze ngokomzwelo. Amadodakazi ami awakhathazeki ngokuthi kunini lapho ezositshela khona okuthile. Izikhathi zokudla njengomkhaya ziveza amathuba amahle kakhulu usuku ngalunye. Ngaphezu kwalokho, njengobaba, lezi zikhathi zingenza ngizazi izinkinga zamadodakazi ami.”

Kusobala ukuthi, lapho imikhaya idla ndawonye, kungayisiza ngisho nokuba igweme imikhuba emibi yokudla. I-University yaseNavarre eSpain ibika ukuthi ukudla wedwa kwandisa amathuba okuba nemikhuba emibi yokudla. Yiqiniso, leyo mikhuba emibi ingaba khona, kodwa ukungabi khona kwezikhathi zokudla ndawonye kungenza amathuba alokhu abe makhulu. U-Esmeralda, umama onamadodakazi amabili uyachaza: “Lapho ukudla ndawonye kuba umkhuba, izingane zizizwa zikhathalelwa. Ukudla njengomkhaya kuzinikeza umuzwa wokulondeka okungokomzwelo ekhaya elifudumele nelinothando.”

Ukudla njengomkhaya kunikeza abazali nethuba lokunakekela izingane zabo ngokomoya. Eminyakeni engaba ngu-3 500 edlule, uNkulunkulu wakhuthaza ama-Israyeli ukuba abe nesikhathi nezingane zawo ukuze agxilise izindinganiso ezingokomoya ezinhliziyweni zazo. (Duteronomi 6:6, 7) U-Ángel, ubaba onabantwana ababili, uthi: “Ngokuthandaza ndawonye nokucabangela umbhalo weBhayibheli, izikhathi zomkhaya zokudla ziba isikhathi sezinto ezingokomoya.” Kucatshangelwa izinzuzo eziningi ezibangelwa ukudla njengomkhaya, yini eminye imikhaya eyenzile ukuze yenze lesi sici sibe yindlela yokuphila?

Ukukwenza Kwenzeke

U-Esmeralda uyachaza: “Ukuhlela nokuzimisela kubalulekile. Kufanele nibe nesimiso esingcono ngangokunokwenzeka esizovumela ukuba lowo ofika ekugcineni ekhaya naye abe khona.” UMaribel, umama wezingane ezimbili, uthi: “Isidlo sakusihlwa sisidla ndawonye njengomkhaya, kungathaliseki ukuthi izimo zinjani.” Eminye imikhaya isebenzisa amathuba akhululekile ngezimpelasonto ukuze ilungiselele lokho ezokupheka noma ilungiselele zonke izidlo zakusihlwa zaphakathi nesonto.

Ukubheka izikhathi zokudla njengomkhaya njengeziza kuqala nakho kuyasiza. U-Eduardo uthi: “Kwadingeka ngishintshe isimiso somsebenzi wami ukuze ngibe sekhaya ngesikhathi sokudla kwakusihlwa, kodwa kwakuwumzamo ofanelekile. Manje sengizazi kahle izinto ezenzeka emkhayeni. Njengoba kufanele ngigxile emsebenzini amahora amaningi ngosuku, bekuyoba ukungacabangeli ukungenzi into efanayo emkhayeni wami ngezikhathi zokudla.”

Kuthiwani uma kuba neziphazamiso? UDavid oneminyaka engu-16 uthi: “Awukho umabonakude lapho sidlela khona njengomkhaya. Sisebenzisa leli thuba sitshele umama nobaba ngendlela usuku oluhambe ngayo, futhi ngokuvamile basinikeza amacebiso amahle.” UDavid uyanezela: “Intsha namuhla ayixoxi kakhulu nabazali bayo. Ngisho nalapho umkhaya uphelele ekhaya, ilungu ngalinye lizidlela lodwa njengoba libukele umabonakude. Ayazi ukuthi ilahlekelwa kangakanani.” USandra oneminyaka engu-17, uyavuma: “Ngiyadabuka lapho engifunda naye ethi, ‘Kazi umama uzongibekelani esiqandisini.’ Mina, izikhathi zomkhaya zokudla akuzona nje ezokudla kuphela. Zisinikeza ithuba lokuhleka, ukuxoxa nokubonisa uthando komunye nomunye.”

Ukudla njengomkhaya kungase kuphenduke “isivikelo ezingcindezini sonke esibhekana nazo nsuku zonke,” kusho incwadi ethi The Surprising Power of Family Meals. Ingabe zinganinikeza ithuba lokusondelana njengomkhaya? Uma ukuphila kwakho kumatasa, ukudla njengomkhaya kunikeza ithuba lokuthi gozololo futhi uxoxe nabathandekayo bakho. Lo mzamo ngokuqinisekile uyoba yinzuzo.

[Ibhokisi/Isithombe ekhasini 15]

NJENGOBA NIDLA NDAWONYE NJENGOMKHAYA NINGASE NIFUNDE . . .

Ukuxoxisana. Izingane zingase zifunde ukukhuluma nokulalela ngenhlonipho. Izingxoxo zithuthukisa ulimi lwazo futhi zizifundise nendlela yokuveza imibono yazo.

Ukudla ukudla okunempilo njalo.

Ukubonisa inhlonipho efanele etafuleni. Funda ukupha ngokuhlanganyela ukudla nabanye futhi ungaphikeleli ngokuthola ingxenye engcono yokudla. Funda nokunakekela izidingo zamanye amalungu omkhaya njengoba nidla.

Ukubambisana. Izingane zingasiza ngokwendlala ifatula, ukuhlanza ngemva kokudla noma zinikeze abanye ukudla. Njengoba zikhula, zingasiza nangokulungisa ukudla.