Isahluko 2

Ziyini Izingozi Zokufihla Ukuthi Uphola Nothile?

UJessica wayebhekene nenkinga. Yaqala lapho umfana othile ayefunda naye, uJeremy, eqala ukubonisa izimpawu zokuthi uyamthanda. Uthi: “Wayemuhle kakhulu, futhi abangane bami babethi uhlonipheke kunabo bonke abafana engiyoke ngihlangane nabo. Iningana lamantombazane lalike lazidlisa satshanyana kuye, kodwa wayengayingeni leyo. Wayezithandela mina ngedwa.”

Kungakabiphi, uJeremy washela uJessica. UJessica wamchazela ukuthi njengomunye woFakazi BakaJehova, wayengeke avunyelwe ukuba athandane nomuntu okwenye inkolo. Uthi: “Kodwa uJeremy weza neqhinga. Wangibuza, ‘Kungani singavele sibafihlele abazali bakho ukuthi siyaphola?’”

UMA othile okukhangayo ebengasikisela lokhu, ubungamphendula kanjani? Kungase kukumangaze ukwazi ukuthi uJessica wahambisana naleli qhinga likaJeremy. Uthi: “Ngangiqiniseka ukuthi uma ngingaphola naye, ngizokwazi ukumfundisa ukuthanda uJehova.” Zahamba kanjani izinto? Sizobuye sizwe. Okokuqala, ake sibone ukuthi abanye babambeka kanjani ogibeni lokufihla ukuthi baphola nothile.

Isizathu Sokuba Bakwenze

Kungani abanye befihla ukuthi kunomuntu abaphola naye? Insizwa okuthiwa uDavid ikufingqa kanje, “Bayazi ukuthi abazali babo ngeke bakuvumele lokho, ngakho bayabafihlela.” UJane uveza okunye okungenzeka kube isizathu. Uthi: “Ukufihla ukuthi kunomuntu ophola naye kuyindlela yokuvukela. Uma unomuzwa wokuthi awuphethwe njengomuntu osekhulile ocabanga ukuthi usunguye, unquma ukuthi uzokwenza okufunayo futhi ungabatsheli abazali bakho.”

Zikhona yini ezinye izizathu ongazicabanga ezingenza abanye balingeke ukuba bafihle ukuthi baphola nothile? Uma zikhona, zibhale ngezansi.

․․․․․

Uyazi ukuthi iBhayibheli likuyala ukuba ulalele abazali bakho. (Efesu 6:1) Uma abazali bakho bengavumi ukuba uphole nothile, kumelwe ukuba banesizathu esizwakalayo. Nokho, ungamangali uma uzithola ucabanga kanje:

● Ngizizwa sengathi kukhona okungiphuthelayo ngoba wonk’ umuntu uyaphola ngaphandle kwami.

● Ngikhangwa othile onezinkolelo ezingafani nezami.

● Ngingathanda ukuphola nomKristu, nakuba ngisemncane kakhulu ukuba ngishade.

Cishe uyazi ukuthi abazali bakho bangathini ngalokhu. Nasenhliziyweni yakho uyazi ukuthi abazali bakho baqinisile. Noma kunjalo, ungase uzizwe njengentombazane okuthiwa uManami, ethi: “Ukucindezela kokuba ngiphole nothile kukhulu kakhulu kangangokuba ngiye ngizibuze ukuthi kungani mina ngingakwenzi. Izingane namuhla aziyingeni nakuyingena eyokungapholi namuntu. Futhi nje akumnandi ukungabi nasoka!” Abanye abakuleso simo baye baqala ukuphola nothile, babafihlela abazali babo. Kanjani?

“Kwathiwa Singatsheli Muntu”

Inkulumo ethi “ukufihla ukuthi uphola nothile” iyodwa nje isikisela ukukhohlisa okuthile, futhi yilokho okukwenza kuphumelele. Abanye bayafihla ukuthi bayaphola ngokuxhumana ngokuyinhloko ngocingo noma nge-Internet. Phambi kwabantu bamane nje bangabangane, kodwa imiyalezo ababhalelana yona ngama-computer nomakhalekhukhwini kanye nezingxoxo ababa nazo ngocingo kuveza esinye isithombe.

Enye indlela ewubuqili ukuhlela ukwenza izinto ngamaqembu, kanti kamuva yilowo nalowo uzozihambela nesithandwa sakhe. UJames uthi: “Ngelinye ilanga samenywa njengeqembu ukuba sihlangane ndawana-thile, kamuva sathola ukuthi yonke le nto yayihlelelwe ukuba ababili eqenjini bakwazi ukuba ndawonye. Kwathiwa singatsheli muntu.”

Ngokuvamile, njengoba uJames ebonisa, ukufihla ukuthi kunomuntu ophola naye kuphumelela ngosizo lwabangane. UCarol uthi: “Okungenani umngane oyedwa usuke eyazi indaba kodwa akhethe ukungasho lutho ngoba engafuni kuthiwe uyacebana.” Ngezinye izikhathi kuhilela ukungathembeki ngamabomu. UBeth oneminyaka engu-17 uthi: “Abaningi bayafihla ukuthi bayaphola ngokuqamba amanga kubazali lapho beya endaweni ethile.” UMisaki oneminyaka engu-19 wakwenza lokho. Uthi: “Kwakudingeka ngiwaqambe kahle amanga. Ngangiqaphela ukuba ngingawaqambi amanye amanga ngaphandle kwalawo aphathelene nokuqoma kwami ukuze abazali bami bangalahlekelwa ukungethemba.”

Izingibe Zokufihla Ukuthi Uyaphola

Uma ulingeka ukuba ufihle ukuthi uphola nothile—noma uma vele ufihlile—kufanele uzibuze le mibuzo emibili elandelayo:

Iyongiholelaphi le nkambo? Ingabe uzimisele ukushada nalo muntu maduzane? U-Evan oneminyaka engu-20 uthi: “Ukuphola ningenayo injongo yokushada kufana nokukhangisa ngento ongayidayisi.” Ungaba yini umphumela? IzAga 13:12 zithi: “Ukuhlehliswa kwento elindelwe kuyayigulisa inhliziyo.” Ingabe ngempela ufuna ukwenza inhliziyo yomuntu omthandayo igule? Nasi esinye isixwayiso: Ukufihla ukuthi kunomuntu ophola naye kuyokuncisha usizo lothando obungaluthola kubazali bakho nakwabanye abantu abadala abakukhathalelayo. Ngenxa yalokhu, makhulu amathuba okuba uwele ogibeni lokuziphatha okubi kobulili.—Galathiya 6:7.

UJehova uNkulunkulu uzizwa kanjani ngalokhu engikwenzayo? IBhayibheli lithi: “Zonke izinto zíze futhi zenekwe obala emehlweni alowo esiyolandisa kuye.” (Hebheru 4:13) Ngakho uma ufihla ukuthi uphola nothile—noma ukuthi umngane wakho uphola nothile—uJehova uyakwazi kakade lokho. Futhi uma kuhilela nokukhohlisa, unesizathu esihle sokukhathazeka. UJehova uNkulunkulu uyakuzonda ukuqamba amanga. Ngempela, “ulimi olunamanga” luqokonyisiwe eBhayibhelini phakathi kwezinto uNkulunkulu azizondayo!—IzAga 6:16-19.

Phumela Obala

Ngokuqinisekile, uyobe wenza kahle ngokuxoxa nabazali bakho noma nomKristu ovuthiwe osekhulile uma kukhona umuntu ophola naye ngokuyimfihlo. Uma futhi umngane wakho efihla ukuthi uphola nothile, ungahlanganyeli naye kuleso senzo ngokumsiza afihle ukuthi uyaphola. (1 Thimothewu 5:22) Konje ungazizwa kanjani uma ubuhlobo babo buba nemiphumela eyingozi? Ubungeke yini nawe ube necala ngezinga elithile?

Ake sithi umngane wakho unesifo sikashukela kodwa uzigxisha ngoswidi ngokufihla. Bese wena uyakuthola lokho, kodwa akuncenge ukuba ungatsheli muntu, ubungenzenjani? Yini ebingaba semqoka kuwe—ukufihla okwenziwa umngane wakho noma ukuthatha isinyathelo esingasindisa ukuphila kwakhe?

Ubhekene nesimo esifanayo uma wazi ukuthi umuntu omjwayele ufihlile ukuthi uphola nothile. Ungesabi ukuthi ubungane benu bungonakala unomphela. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, umngane weqiniso uyobona ukuthi ubuzama ukumsiza.—IHubo 141:5.

Bayakufihla Noma Kuseyinto Yabo Bodwa?

Yiqiniso, akuzona zonke izimfihlo eziphathelene nokuthandana ezihilela ukukhohlisa. Ngokwesibonelo, ake sithi insizwa nentombi bangathanda ukwazana kangcono kodwa basafuna ukuba kube yinto yabo bodwa okwesikhashana. Mhlawumbe, njengoba kwasho insizwa egama layo nguThomas, “abafuni ukufundekelwa ngemibuzo efana nothi, ‘Manje nishada nini?’”

Ukucindezela okungafanele okuvela kwabanye kungaba yingozi ngempela. (IsiHlabelelo SeziHlabelelo 2:7) Ngakho-ke, lapho besanda kuqala ukuphola, abanye bangase bakhethe ukungabatsheli abantu. (IzAga 10:19) U-Anna oneminyaka engu-20, uthi: “Lokhu kunikeza abantu ababili isikhathi sokunquma ukuthi bazimisele yini ukuqhubeka bethandana. Uma bezimisele, babe sebetshela nabanye.”

Ngesikhathi esifanayo, kungaba kubi ukufihlela abantu abanelungelo lokwazi ukuthi niyaphola, njengabazali bakho noma balowo ophola naye. Ngempela, uma ubafihlela abanye ngokuphola kwenu, kufanele uzibuze ukuthi kungani. Ingabe uyazi enhliziyweni yakho ukuthi abazali bakho bangaba nezizathu ezizwakalayo zokwenqaba?

“Ngangazi Ukuthi Kufanele Ngenzeni”

UJessica, okukhulunywe ngaye ekuqaleni, wawushintsha umqondo wokufihla ukuthi uphola noJeremy lapho ezwa okuhlangenwe nakho komunye umKristu owayesesimweni esifanayo. UJessica uthi: “Ngemva kokuzwa ukuthi wahlukana kanjani nesoka lakhe, ngangazi ukuthi kufanele ngenzeni.” Ingabe kwaba lula ukuhlukana nalo mfana? Cha! UJessica uthi: “Wayengekho omunye umfana engangike ngamthanda njengaye. Kwaphela amasonto ngikhala nsuku zonke.”

Nokho, uJessica wayemthanda uJehova. Nakuba ayephambukile, wayefuna ngempela ukwenza okulungile. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ubuhlungu bokuhlukana nalo mfana badamba. Uthi: “Ubuhlobo bami noJehova manje sebungcono kakhulu kunangaphambili. Ngibonga kakhulu ngokuthi usinika isiqondiso esisidingayo ngesikhathi esifanele!”

[UMBHALO OYINHLOKO

“Sifisa ukuziphatha ngokwethembeka ezintweni zonke.”—Hebheru 13:18.

ICEBISO

Akudingeki ushay’ icilongo lokuthi wena uphola nothile. Kodwa batshele labo abanelungelo lokwazi. Ngokuvamile, labo kuyoba abazali bakho nabazali bomuntu ophola naye.

UBUWAZI . . . ?

Ubuhlobo obuhlala njalo busekelwe ekwethe-mbaneni. Ukufihla ukuthi uphola nothile kwenza abazali bakho bangakwethembi futhi akusiqinisi isisekelo sobuhlobo bakho nomuntu ophola naye.

ENGIZOKWENZA!

Uma ngifihlile ukuthi kunomKristu engiphola naye, ngizo- ․․․․․

Uma umngane wami efihla ukuthi uphola nothile, ngizo- ․․․․․

Engingathanda ukukubuza umzali wami (abazali) ngale ndaba ․․․․․

UCABANGANI?

● Cabangela izimo ezintathu ezibhalwe ngokugqamile ekhasini 22. Yisiphi kulezi zimo esichaza indlela ozizwa ngayo ngezinye izikhathi, uma sikhona?

● Ungasilungisa kanjani leso simo ngaphandle kokufihla ukuthi uphola nothile?

● Ukube ubuwazi ukuthi umngane wakho uyafihla ukuthi uphola nothile, ubungasisingatha kanjani leso simo, futhi kungani ubungakhetha ukusisingatha ngaleyo ndlela?

[Amazwi acashunwe esihlokweni ekhasini 27]

‘‘Ngayeka ukuthandana nalo mfana. Yebo, kwaku-buhlungu ukuya esikoleni, ngimbone nsuku zonke. Kodwa uJehova uNkulunkulu ukwazi ukubona konke okuhilelekile, kanti thina asikwazi. Kumelwe simethembe nje kuphela.’’—UJessica

[Isithombe ekhasini 25]

Ukungamcebi umngane wakho ukuthi uyafihla ukuthi uphola nothile kufana nokungamcebi umuntu ofobela amaswidi ebe enesifo sikashukela