Ungaba Umakhelwane Omuhle
LAPHO abantu abadala bekhuluma ‘ngezinsuku ezinhle ezidlule,’ ucabanga ukuthi bashoni? Maqondana nengcebo ebonakalayo, ukunethezeka noma izinkonzo zokwelapha, izinsuku ezidlule zazingezi“nhle” kangako kubantu abaningi. Ayengekho amathelevishini, zazimbalwa izimoto, izincingo nezinye izinto lezo abantu abaningi namuhla, abakuthola kunzima ukuphila ngaphandle kwazo, zazingekho. Khona-ke, yini eyayiyinhle kangaka? Akungabazeki ukuthi lokho abacabanga ngakho umoya omuhle womakhelwane owawukhona ngalesosikhathi.
Nakuba kwakukhona ukulondeka okuncane ngokwezimali, abantu babesizana. Njengoba abantu abaningi abadala belandisa, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi umuntu wayempofu kangakanani, ngaso sonke isikhathi wayenokuthile kokukuboleka omakhelwane bakhe. Uma noma ngubani egula kakhulu, omakhelwane babemsiza, ngokupheka ukudla noma ngokunakekela abantwana. Uma umuntu enomsebenzi omkhulu okumelwe awenze ekhaya, omakhelwane babeza bezomsiza.
Nokho, njengoba uhulumeni enzela abantu izinto eziningi, kwaya kuncipha kancane lokho. Nokho, sisaludinga usizo lomakhelwane bethu. IBhayibheli laxwayisa kudala ukuthi “ozahlukanisayo ufuna esakhe isifiso sobugovu.” (IzAga 18:1, NW) Umuntu owenqaba ukuhlangana nabanye ekugcineni uba ongalinganiseli, ngisho noyinqaba.
Kuyiqiniso, ngokuvamile asibakhethi omakhelwane bethu, futhi nabo abasikhethi. Futhi, “ukujwayelana nababi” ngempela “konakalisa ukuziphatha okuhle.” (1 Korinte 15:33) Kodwa uma sifunda ukuphilisana nabo ngokuhlakanipha, kuyoba yinzuzo kubo nakithina. Kuhilelani lokhu?
Okwenziwa Omakhelwane
Ukuba umakhelwane omuhle kudinga ukuba oqondayo. Izinto ezihlukene ziyemukeleka ezindaweni ezihlukahlukene. Uma sivela emaphandleni lapho abantu ngokuvamile bevakashelana khona, kungase kudingeke sishintshe uma sithuthela edolobheni lapho singakwazi ukwenza lokho. Kwamanye amadolobha omakhelwane baxubile, kukhona abantu abanezizinda ezihlukahlukene. Abanye bangase benze izindlela esingazijwayele, kodwa uma nje bengeyona inkathazo yasobala noma bengasongeli umkhaya wethu siqu, kungani sibagxeka?
Umakhelwane omuhle futhi udinga ukuba nobungane. Kuthatha isikhathi esingakanani ukuthi “Sawubona” ngokumamatheka kulabo esiphambana nabo endleleni noma ekheshini? Ngisho ubuso obujabulayo bungenza lonke iqembu labantu lizizwe kangcono.
Njengabanobungane, futhi siyofuna ukwazi amagama abantu esiphila nabo. Uma sibiza omakhelwane bethu ngamagama, sibonisa ukuthi sibabheka njengabantu ngabanye, futhi bayozizwa befudumele ngathi.
Umakhelwane omuhle udinga futhi ukubonisa ukukhathalela. Uma enakhelene naye egula, kubonisa ukukhathalela ukukhumbula ukumbuza ukuthi unjani ukhulume amazwi ambalwa okumduduza. Kungase kube khona umsebenzi omncane esingamenzela wona wokumsiza ekwenzeni lula umthwalo wakhe. Futhi, uma kukhona umuntu osekhulile ohlala eduze, kungani ungazami ukuba ocabangela ngokwengeziwe? Ngokwesibonelo, uma siya esitolo, mhlawumbe kukhona okuthile esingamthengela khona umuntu omdala. Uma eshiye ugesi ukhanya endlini yakhe isikhathi eside, noma umnyango ewushiye uvuliwe, kungani singahloli ukuze siqiniseke ukuthi izinto zonke zihamba kahle?
Futhi kuthiwani uma sibona ubugebengu buqhubeka noma okuthile okubi kubonakala kwenzeka? Nokho, akukhona ukuhlakanipha ukungenela ngobuqhawe ukuze sizame ukulungisa isimo. Abantu abaqeqeshiwe ngokuvamile benza lokho kangcono kunokuba singenza. Kodwa okungenani ukukhathalela kwethu njengomakhelwane kuyosishukumisela ukuba sazise amaphoyisa ngokushesha, futhi mhlawumbe siphawule imininingwane ethile engase iwasize kamuva.
Ukuqondisa okuwusizo ekusebenzelaneni nomakhelwane kuyilokho okubizwa ngokuthi umthetho wothando: “Konke nokungakanani enifuna ukuba abantu bakwenze kini, kwenzeni nani kanjalo kubo.” (Mathewu 7:12) Ngakho-ke, uma sibona inkinga ehilela umakhelwane futhi singazi ukuthi kumelwe senzeni, masizibuze: “Yini ebengingafuna ukuba omunye angenzele yona uma bengikulesosimo?” Impendulo ingasisiza ekwenzeni isinqumo sokuhlakanipha.
Ngesinye isikhathi owayelalele wabuza uJesu: “Umakhelwane wami ngubani na?” UJesu waphendula ngokulandisa umfanekiso ‘womSamariya olungileyo.’ Wabonisa ukuthi umakhelwane woqobo yilowo oyosiza lapho ebona othile edinga. Uma sibonisa ubungani, ukuqonda nokukhathalela omakhelwane bethu, siyobe silandela lesosibonelo esihle.—Luka 10:29-37.
Okungenziwa Umakhelwane
Futhi kukhona izinto ezithile umakhelwane omuhle angenakuzenza. Lokhu kungenxa yokuthi uyacabangela. Ngokwesibonelo, akanakuvulela umsakazo wakhe noma ithelevishini kakhulu uze uzwiwe yibo bonke omakhelwane. Uyogcina indlu yakhe nokumzungezile kuhlanzekile futhi kumsulwa, kanjalo angaphazamisi ukubonakala kwendawo yakubo.
Indoda ehlakaniphile kudala yaloba: “Unyawo lwakho malungavami endlini [ka]makhelwane wakho, funa adinwe nguwe, abuye akuzonde.” (IzAga 25:17) Yebo, nakuba ukuvakasha ngokwethu kela kungase kwamukeleke, omakhelwane bangakhathala ngokushesha umuntu ovakasha njalo.
Khona-ke futhi umphostoli uPawulu waxwayisa ngalabo ‘abazula endlini ngendlu’ futhi ‘behleba, bezigaxa kokungekhona okwabo.’ (1 Thimothewu 5:13) Sigwema ukuhleba nokunyundela uma silinganisela isikhathi esisichitha sivakashele omakhelwane. Ngaphandle kwalokho, abantu abaningi namuhla bakhononda ngokuthi abanaso isikhathi esanele sokwenza zonke izinto abafuna ukuzenza. Isikhathi esichithwa ekuvakasheni okude singase sisho ukulahla ithuba lokwenza okuthile okubaluleke kakhulu.
Umakhelwane omuhle uhlonipha abantu abamzungezile futhi usebenzelana nabo ngobumnene. Ngakho-ke akanakwenza izinkinga ezincane zibe yinto enkulu. Ngelinye ihlobo ebusuku eAmsterdam ubaba othile wayephazanyiswa umsindo womsakazo ongaphesheya komgwaqo owawuvusa abantwana bakhe. Umkakhe wasikisela ngobumnene ukuba aye kumakhelwane futhi amchazele inkinga. Umakhelwane wakhe, ezwa inkinga ixoxwa ngokunengqondo, wakujabulela ukubambisana naye. Wavala umsakazo, ephawula: “Kakade bengingayilalele lendaba yezombangazwe!”
Okuthile okwakuyoba yisimo esibi kwaguqulwa ngokuphathwa ngobumnene futhi omakhelwane ababili baba abangane abahle.
Ekugcineni sidinga ukuqonda nokulinganisela. Abanye bomakhelwane bethu bangase babe nemikhuba emibi. Bangase babheme, basebenzise ulimi olubi noma baphile ngokuziphatha okubi. Kwezinye izindawo intsha isebenzisa imilaliso futhi ingamaqembu ahleliwe. Ngakho-ke kudingeka silinganisele ubudlelwane bethu siqiniseka ukuthi imikhuba emibi ayisuleleki kithi noma kubantabethu. Yebo, ukuba umakhelwane omuhle kuhilela izinto eziningi.
Amandla Omoya Womakhelwane
Ekuqaleni kuka-1980, uJohn, umdala ebandleni lasendaweni loFakazi BakaJehova, wazithola esesimweni lapho umzwelo ofanele kamakhelwane wawuwohloke ngokuphelele. Kwenzeka edolobheni laseOklahoma, eU.S.A. Omunye omusha onsundu wayebulewe, futhi umphakathi wasendaweni onsundu waba nombono wokuthi amaphoyisa ayengenzi lutho ngakho. Ukuvukela konya kobuhlanga kwaphakama, izinhlamvu zindiza yonke indawo.
Nokho umkhaya kaJohn wawufana namanzi ogwadule kulesosiphithiphithi. Nakuba yena, nomkakhe nendodakazi yabo esanda kweva eshumini elinambili, kwakumelwe balale phansi amahora athile ukuze bagweme izinhlamvu ezindiza emoyeni, kwakungekho kushaqeka kobuzwe noma inzondo lapho. Eqinisweni, lomkhaya wabamhlophe wawuphephele ndawonye nentombazane ensundu nomkhaya wamaMexico. UmkaJohn wathi: “Ngiyazi ukuthi kunenkinga; angiyona impumputhe. Kodwa ngokwesisekelo esisebenzelana ngaso nabantu—abansundu nabamhlophe—kukhona ubuhlobo obuhle.”
Yebo, lomkhaya wawuye waba abangane abahle bomakhelwane kubantu ababazungezile. Wawuye wababonisa inhlonipho nokucabangela, futhi ngenxa yalokho, wahlonishwa. Inzondo yobuzwe ayiqondiswanga kuwona.
Ezinsukwini ezimbalwa ngemva kwesibhelu, enkonzweni yokushumayela endlini ngendlu (inkonzo yokuya komakhelwane oFakazi BakaJehova abahlanganyela kuyo), kwenzeka baya ezihlotsheni zomfana okufa kwakhe kwakubangele ubudlova. Ngobungani babonisa uzwela lwabo futhi banikeza usizo oluhle kakhulu ababengalunikeza. Bakhuluma ngethemba eliqinisekile lovuko lwabafileyo nethemba lokuphila ngokushesha ezweni lapho wonke umuntu eyoba umakhelwane omuhle. Lelozwe lichazwe evesini leBhayibheli encwadini kalsaya: “Abayikwenza okubi, bangachithi entabeni yonke yami engcwele, ngokuba umhlaba uyakugcwala ukumazi uJehova njengamanzi asibekela ulwandle.”—Isaya 11:9.
Sonke ngokuqinisekile siyakuthanda ukuphila ezweni elifana nalelo. Kodwa lapho sisalilindele, kumelwe sibhekane nesimo njengoba sinjalo. Nokho, uma, njengoJohn nomkhaya wakhe, senza ngokulinganisela, ngendlela efanele omakhelwane kubantu esiphila phakathi kwabo, sibacabangela futhi sibahlonipha, siyothola ukuphila kujabulisa ngokwengeziwe. Futhi—ubani owaziyo—mhlawumbe omakhelwane bethu bayosibonisa umoya ofanele omakhelwane ngokwengeziwe.