“Ningabathukuthelisi Abantwana Benu”

“BOYISE, ningabathukuthelisi abantwana benu.” Washo kanjalo umphostoli uPawulu. (Efesu 6:4) Emazweni aseNtshonalanga, lapho abazali bengaphansi kokucindezela nezinkinga zomphakathi wezemisebenzi, akulula ngaso sonke isikhathi ukuba basebenzelane ngomusa nabantwana babo. Futhi ukukhulisa umntwana akuyona inselele encane emazweni asathuthuka. Yiqiniso, ijubane lokuphila lingase lingagijimi njengaseNtshonalanga. Kodwa imikhuba namasiko asenesikhathi eside ekhona angathonya abazali ukuba basebenzelane nabantwana ngezindlela okucishe kube ngokuqinisekile ukuthi zizobakhungathekisa noma zibathukuthelise.

Abantwana kwamanye amazwe asathuthuka babekwa ezingeni eliphansi kunawo wonke ekuqashelweni nasekuhlonishweni. Kwezinye izimpucuko abantwana bathunywa ngamazwi asongelayo nashiqelayo, bathethiswe futhi bathukwe. Kungase kube okungavamile ukuzwa umuntu omdala esho izwi lomusa kumntwana, kungasaphathwa izimilo njengokuthi “ngiyacela” nokuthi “ngiyabonga.” Obaba banomuzwa wokuthi kumelwe basebenzise igunya labo ngezandla eziqinile; amazwi alukhuni agcizelelwa ngemivimbo enamandla.

Kwezinye izimpucuko zaseAfrika, kubhekwa ngisho nanjengokuba luhlaza ngomntwana ukuba asukele umuntu omdala ambingelele. Akukhona okungavamile ukubona abasha, bethwele imithwalo esindayo emakhanda, belindele ngesineke imvume yokubingelela iqembu labantu abadala. Abantu abadala bazoqhubeka nengxoxo yabo engabalulekile, bengabanaki abasha abalindile kuze kube yilapho bekhetha ukubavumela ukuba babingelele. Abantwana bavunyelwa ukuba badlule kuphela lapho sebebingelele.

Ubumpofu bungesinye isici esingamelana nenhlalakahle yabantwana. Ilahlekelwa impilo yayo enhle nemfundo, intsha ixhashazwa ngokungafanele njengezisebenzi ezingabantwana. Imisebenzi esinda ngokungenangqondo ingabekwa phezu kwabantwana ngisho nasekhaya. Futhi lapho imikhaya esemaphandleni ithumela abantwana bayo emadolobheni amakhulu ukuba banakekelwe yizihlobo lapho besafunda, ngokuvamile baphathwa njengezigqila. Ngokuqinisekile, konke lokhu kuphathwa ngokungafanele kuyabathukuthelisa abantwana!

Lokho Okushiwo ‘Ukubathukuthelisa’

Abanye abazali bazivumela ukuba bakhukhulwe igagasi lemikhuba ethandwayo yokukhuliswa kwabantwana ngaphandle kokucabangela imiphumela. Nokho, kungesizathu esihle iZwi likaNkulunkulu linxusa abazali ukuba bangabathukuthelisi abantwana babo. Inkulumo yesiGreki sokuqala ehunyushwe ngokuthi “ningabathukuthelisi” ngokwezwi nezwi isho ukuthi “ningabavuseli ulaka.” (Kingdom Interlinear) KwabaseRoma 10:19, (NW) isenzo esifanayo sihunyushwe ngokuthi “vusela intukuthelo ebukhali.”

Kanjalo iToday’s English Version ithi: “Ningaphathi abantwana benu ngendlela yokuba nibenze bathukuthele.” IJerusalem Bible ngokufanayo ithi: “Ningenzi abantwana benu bacasuke.” Ngakho-ke iBhayibheli alikhulumi ngokucasula okuncane umzali angase akwenze kumntanakhe engaqondile ngenxa yokungapheleli, futhi alilahli isiyalo esisetshenziswa ngokulunga. NgokweLange’s Commentary on the Holy Scriptures, lelivesi leBhayibheli likhuluma ‘ngokuphathwa kwabantwana ngokucasuka, ngokhahlo, ngokulalela inhliziyo encane, baze baxwaye futhi bayengelwe ekubeni baphikise, beyise futhi babe nolaka.’

Njengoba umfundisi uJ. S. Farrant aphawula: “Iqiniso liwukuthi abantwana bangabantu. Abamane nje basabele ngendlela evumayo njengoba kwenza izitshalo endaweni ezizungezile. Bayaphendula.” Futhi ngokuvamile ukuphendula ekuphathweni okungafanele kuphumela ekulimaleni ngokomoya nangokomzwelo. UmShumayeli 7:7 uthi: “Impela ukucindezela kuyamhlanyisa ohlakaniphileyo.”

Ukukhulisa Abantwana Ngokuyala KukaNkulunkulu

Abazali abafisa ukuba abantwana babo baqhubeke behamba eqinisweni akumelwe bavumele izindinganiso zempucuko namasiko ukuba kube yikho kuphela okunquma indlela abazokhulisa ngayo abantwana babo. (Qhathanisa neyesi-3 Johane 4.) Ngemva kokuxwayisa abazali ngokuthukuthelisa abantwana babo, uPawulu wanezela: “Nibondle [“nibakhulise,” NW] ngokuyala nangokuqondisa kweNkosi.” (Efesu 6:4) Ngakho izindinganiso zikaJehova zithatha indawo yemikhuba nemibono yendawo.

Nakuba kungase kube okuvamile emazweni athile ukuba abantwana baphathwe njengabaphansi nanjengezisebenzi eziyizigqila, iBhayibheli kumaHubo 127:3 lithi: “Bheka, abantwana bayifa elivela kuJehova, isithelo sesisu singumvuzo.” Ingabe umzali ubengalondoloza ubuhlobo obuhle noNkulunkulu uma ubephatha kabi ifa lakhe? Phinde. Futhi awunandawo umbono wokuthi abantwana bakhona kuphela ukuze bahlangabezane nezidingo zabazali babo. Kweyesi-2 Korinte 12:14, iBhayibheli liyasikhumbuza: “Ngokuba akubantwana abafanele ukuqongelela abazali, kodwa abazali baqongelela abantwana.”

Akukhona ukuthi abantwana kufanele bakhishwe ekwenzeni ingxenye yabo emisebenzini yasekhaya. Kodwa akufanele yini zicatshangelwe izithakazelo zomntwana ezingcono kakhulu? Ngokwesibonelo, lapho uYaa, intombazane engumKristu eAfrika, ibuzwa ukuthi yini eyayingathanda kakhulu ukuba abazali bayo bayenzele khona, yaphendula: “Ngifisa sengathi imisebenzi yami yasekhaya ingancishiswa ngezinsuku enginamalungiselelo enkonzo yasensimini ngazo.” Ngakho uma umntwana ekuthola kunzima ukufika ngesikhathi esikoleni noma ukuba khona emihlanganweni yebandla ngenxa yemisebenzi yasekhaya esindayo, bekungeke yini kube okungcono kakhulu ukwenza ukulungisa okuthile?

Kuyavunywa, kungaba nzima ukusebenzelana nentsha. Abazali bangasebenzelana kanjani nayo ngendlela engaxhaphazi noma engathukuthelisi? IzAga 19:11 zithi: “Ukuhlakanipha komuntu kubambezela intukuthelo yakhe.” Yebo, okokuqala ungazama ukuqonda umntanakho njengomuntu. Umntwana ngamunye uhlukile, unezithakazelo zakhe siqu, amakhono, nezidingo. Kuyini? Ingabe uye wazinika isikhathi sokumazi umntanakho futhi wazi izimpendulo zalombuzo? Ukusebenza nokukhulekela ndawonye, ukuhlanganyela ekuzijabuliseni komkhaya—lezinto zinikeza amathuba okuba abazali basondele eduze nabantwana babo.

Kweyesi-2 Thimothewu 2:22, uPawulu wenza okunye ukuphawula okuthakazelisayo lapho etshela uThimothewu: “Balekela izinkanuko zobusha.” Yebo, uPawulu waqonda ukuthi ubusha bungaba inkathi eyaluzayo. Kwenzeka izinguquko ezinkulu ezingokomzimba nezingokomzwelo. Ukukhangeka ebulilini obuhlukile kuyakhula. Phakathi nalesikhathi, intsha idinga isiqondiso esivuthiwe nesothando ukuze igweme izingibe ezingathi sína. Kodwa akudingekile ukuba iphathwe sengathi iziphethe kabi. Indodakazi ecasukile yenye indoda engumKristu yakhala: “Uma ngingenzanga ubufebe, kodwa ubaba engithwesa icala labo, kungaba ngcono ngivele ngiqhubeke ngibenze.” Esikhundleni sokuthwesa icala lezisusa ezimbi, bonisa ukumethemba umntanakho. (Qhathanisa neyesi-2 Thesalonika 3:4.) Esikhundleni sokuba ngogxekayo, yiba ngoqinile noqondayo ngendlela enothando, engaguquguquki.

Nokho, izinkinga eziningi zingagwenywa uma abazali bexoxa kusengaphambili ngezingozi zokuziphatha umntwana abhekene nazo. Khumbula, uNkulunkulu ubeka isibopho kubazali sokuba baqeqeshe futhi bafundise inzalo yabo ngeZwi likaNkulunkulu. (Duteronomi 6:6, 7) Lokho kungadinga isikhathi esiningi nomzamo. Ngokudabukisayo, abanye abazali bayehluleka ukufeza isabelo sabo sokufundisa ngenxa yokuntula isineke. Ukungafundi, inkinga enkulu emazweni amaningi asathuthuka, kukhubaza nabanye abazali.

Kwezinye izimo kungacelwa umKristu ovuthiwe ukuba asize. Kungase kube indaba nje yokunikeza ukusikisela kumzali onokuhlangenwe nakho okuncane. (IzAga 27:17) Noma kungase kuhilele ukusiza ngokuqhuba isifundo somkhaya ngokwaso. Kodwa lokhu akumkhululi umzali emthwalweni wakhe wemfanelo wokufundisa inzalo yakhe iZwi likaNkulunkulu. (1 Thimothewu 5:8) Angenza umzamo wokusebenza nabantwana bakhe enkonzweni yasensimini nokuxoxa ngezindaba ezingokomoya ngezikhathi zokudla noma ngezinye izikhathi ezifanelekile.

Osemusha okhulela ebudaleni angase ngokwemvelo afise inkululeko eyengeziwe. Ngokuvamile lokhu kuchazwa kabi njengokuvukela igunya noma ukweyisa. Yeka indlela obekuyocasula ngayo uma abazali bakhe bebesabela ngokumphatha njengomntwana omncane futhi benqaba ukumnikeza inkululeko eyengeziwe ezenzweni zakhe! Okuthukuthelisa ngokufanayo kungaba ukuba banqume isici ngasinye sokuphila kwakhe—imfundo, umsebenzi, umshado—ngaphandle kokuxoxa ngalezindaba naye ngendlela ezothile nenenhlonipho. (IzAga 15:22) Umphostoli uPawulu wanxusa amaKristu ayekanye nawo ukuba ‘engqondweni abe ngakhulileyo.’ (1 Korinte 14:20) Ingabe abazali akufanele yini bafise ukuba abantwana babo bakhule—ngokomzwelo nangokomoya? Nokho, ‘umqondo’ wosemusha ungaqeqeshwa kuphela “ngokuwusebenzisa.” (Heberu 5:14) Ukuze awusebenzise kumelwe anikezwe isilinganiso esithile senkululeko yokuzikhethela.

Ukukhulisa abantwana phakathi nalezinsuku ezinzima akulula. Kodwa abazali abalandela iZwi likaNkulunkulu ababathukuthelisi noma babacasule abantwana babo “ukuba bangadangali.” (Kolose 3:21) Kunalokho, bazama ukubaphatha ngemfudumalo, ukuqonda, nesizotha. Abantwana babo bayaholwa, abaphoqelelwa; bayondliwa, abashalazelelwa; bashukunyiselwa ukuba bathande, abavuselwa ulaka noma ukukhungatheka.

[Isithombe ekhasini 31]

Ukudlala i“oware,” umdlalo wendawo odlalelwa endlini eGhana, kunikeza labazali ithuba lokuzihlanganisa nabantwana babo