Mungatani Kuti Mupewe Kuthetsa Banja Pambuyo Pokhala Limodzi kwa Zaka Zambiri?

Kuchokera mu 1990 mpaka mu 2015, chiwerengero cha anthu azaka 50 kapena kuposa omwe anathetsa mabanja ku United States chinawirikiza kawiri ndipo cha anthu azaka zoposa 65 chinawirikiza katatu. N’chiyani chikuchititsa kuti anthu ambiri azithetsa mabanja atakula kale? Nanga inuyo mungatani kuti zimenezi zisakuchitikireni?

Zimene zili munkhaniyi

• N’chiyani chimachititsa kuti anthu azithetsa mabanja atakula kale?

• Zimene mungachite

• Zomwe mungakambirane

N’chiyani chimachititsa kuti anthu azithetsa mabanja atakula kale?

• Anthu akamathetsa mabanja atakula kale, nthawi zambiri zimakhala kuti m’banjamo munali mavuto omwe ankakula pang’onopang’ono. M’kupita kwa nthawi mwamuna ndi mkazi wakeyo amayamba kukonda zinthu zosiyana ndipo amagwirizana pa zinthu zochepa. Nthawi zinanso ana akakula n’kuchoka pakhomo, mwamuna ndi mkazi amayamba kuzindikira kuti aliyense ankasamalira kwambiri udindo wake monga bambo kapena mayi mpaka kufika poiwala kumachitirana zinthu monga anthu okwatirana.

• M’zaka zaposachedwapa, anthu omwe amati ndi akatswiri pa nkhani za m’banja akhala akuuza anthu okwatirana kuti aliyense aziganizira kwambiri zimene amafunikira. Amawalimbikitsa kudzifunsa kuti: ‘Kodi ineyo ndikusangalala m’banjali?’ ‘Kodi likundithandiza kukhala munthu wabwino?’ ‘Kodi mwamuna kapena mkazi wangayu amandichititsa kumva kuti ndimakondedwa kapenanso kuti ndine wofunika?’ Ngati yankho ndi lakuti ayi, anthu ambiri amati muyenera kungothetsa banjalo n’kuyamba moyo wina chifukwa ndi zomwe zingakuthandizeni inuyo.

• Anthu sakumaonanso kuti kuthetsa banja n’koipa. Katswiri wina wofufuza zokhudza makhalidwe a anthu, dzina lake Eric Klinenberg, analemba kuti: “Zaka zochepa zapitazo, munthu yemwe ankafuna kuthetsa banja chifukwa choti sakusangalala ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wake, ankayenera kupereka zifukwa zomveka zolithetsera. Koma masiku ano ndi zosiyana kwambiri ndi zimenezi. Ngati sukusangalala ndi banja lako, uyenera kukhala ndi zifukwa zomveka zokuchititsa kupitiriza kukhala m’banjalo. Zili choncho chifukwa anthu ambiri amaona kuti chofunika kwambiri ndi kumangochita zomwe iweyo ukuona kuti zingakuthandize.”a

Koma zoona n’zakuti munthu akathetsa banja, amangokhala kuti wasiya mavuto ena n’kuyamba enanso. Mwachitsanzo, kafukufuku wina anasonyeza kuti “anthu akathetsa banja atakula kale, amakumana ndi mavuto aakulu azachuma, makamaka akazi.”

Koma pali chinthu chinanso chofunika kuchiganizira. Buku lina linati: “Ngakhale mutathetsa banja, inuyo mumakhala kuti ndinu yemwe uja. Kodi mwachita zotani kuti musinthe mmene munkalankhulira ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu, zomwe zinachititsa kuti musamagwirizane? Kodi munasintha zimene munkachita mukakhala kuti mwasemphana maganizo?”b​—Don’t Divorce.

Zimene mungachite

• Muzivomereza zinthu zikasintha. M’banja lililonse, anthu amatha kusintha mmene amasonyezerana chikondi. Zimenezi zingachitike chifukwa chakuti ana akula n’kuchoka pakhomo kapenanso chifukwa chakuti mwayamba kukonda zinthu zosiyana. M’malo momaganizira kwambiri mmene zinthu zinaliri kale, ndi bwino kumaganizira zomwe mungamachite kuti zinthu ziziyenda bwino panopa.

  

  Mfundo ya m’Baibulo: “Usanene kuti, ‘Nʼchifukwa chiyani kale zinthu zinali bwino kuposa masiku ano?’ chifukwa si nzeru kufunsa funso ngati limeneli.”​—Mlaliki 7:10.

• Musasiye kusonyezana chikondi. Kodi n’zotheka kuti muyambe kukonda zinthu zatsopano zimene mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu wayamba kukonda, kapenanso kuthandiza mnzanuyo kuti nayeso ayambe kukonda zimene inuyo mwayamba kukonda? Kodi mungapeze chochita chatsopano chimene nonse mungamasangalale nacho? Muzikhala ndi cholinga choti muzichitira zinthu limodzi kuti muzionana ngati anthu okwatirana osati ngati anthu omwe amangokhala nyumba imodzi.

  

  Mfundo ya m’Baibulo: “Aliyense asamangofuna zopindulitsa iyeyo basi, koma zopindulitsanso ena.”​—1 Akorinto 10:24.

• Musasiye kusonyezana makhalidwe abwino. Musasiye kusonyezana ulemu chifukwa chakuti mwakhala limodzi kwa nthawi yaitali. Muzilankhulana mwaulemu komanso musasiye kusonyezana makhalidwe abwino amene munkasonyezana pa nthawi imene munali pa chibwenzi. Muzipempha zinthu mwaulemu ndiponso muzithokoza. Muzisonyezana chikondi nthawi zonse komanso muziyamikira zinthu zimene mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu amakuchitirani.

  

  Mfundo ya m’Baibulo: “Koma muzikomerana mtima, muzisonyezana chifundo chachikulu.”​—Aefeso 4:32.

• Muzikumbukira zinthu zabwino zimene munachitira limodzi. Muzionera limodzi zithunzi za ukwati wanu, kapena zithunzi zina zomwe munajambulitsa muli limodzi pa zochitika zinazake. Kuchita zimenezi kungakuthandizeni kuti mupitirize kapena muyambirenso kukondana ndiponso kulemekezana m’banja lanu.

  

  Mfundo ya m’Baibulo: “Aliyense wa inu azikonda mkazi wake ngati mmene amadzikondera yekha komanso mkazi azilemekeza kwambiri mwamuna wake.”​—Aef 5:33.