Musungo Wechatanuro

ANDREW naAnn vakaita vanyakuroorana vanoshamisa. Ann akanga ari akanyarara zvikuru naanofungisisa zvikuru wavaviri ivavo, asi kuterama kwake kunofadza kwairatidzika kuva chitsinhiraniso chakakwana kuhunhu hwokuva noushamwari zvikuru hwaAndrew, simba rake nokufadza zvisingadzoreki. Meso ake aiva noupenyu mukuvapo kwake. Uye munhu upi noupi aigona kuona kuti iye aimuda zvokumuda zviya.

Pashure pamakore manomwe, kunyange zvakadaro, roorano yavo yakavamba kuparadzana. Andrew akawana basa idzva raipedza yakawanda yenguva yake. Ann akashatirirwa kunyanyobatikana kwake kutsva nebasa nousiku hwake hwokunonoka kazhinji kazhinji. Akaedza “kuramba akabatikana apo murume wake akanga asipo,” sokutaura kwaanoita, kupfurikidza nokuzvinyudza amene mubasa rake amene. Asi isati iri nguva refu Andrew akanga achiuya kumba achinhuhwa zvinwiwa zvinodhakisa, achitsanangura kuti iye ave afamba navasonganiri vebhizimisi. Chinetso chake chokunwa chakaipisisa, uye Ann pakupedzisira akabva mumba mavo. Andrew akapinda mukuora mwoyo. Mukati memwedzi, vakachatanura.

Iyi nhau inganzwika kuva yakanyanyorovedzeka zvikurusa kuna vazhinji. Sezvatatoona, mwero yechatanuro yakakwira munyika yose. Uye kuti tive nechokwadi, dzimwe chatanuro hadzidzivisiki kana kuti dziri madikanwa. Bhaibheri haridzivisi chose chose chatanuro, sezvinofunga vazhinji. Mipimo yaro yakanaka uye ine mufungo, ichibvumira chatanuro pamusoro pezvikonzero zvoupombwe (Mateo 19:9); nheyo dzaro dzinobvumirawo nokuda kweparadzano yeroorano mune mimwe migariro yokunyanyisa, yakadai sokurova.a (Ona Mateo 5:32; 1 VaKorinte 7:10, 11.) Asi idzi dzakanga dzisati dziri nheyo dzakaparira chatanuro yaAndrew naAnn.

Andrew naAnn vaiva maKristu uye vakanga vambokudza roora setsvene. Asi mukufanana nesu tose, vanogara munyika inoparidza tsika dzakasiana zvikuru—kuti roorano inoraswa uye chatanuro ndiwo mutoo wokurasa nawo. Gore riri rose urwu rudzi rwokufunga runopesvedzera zviuru zvavananyakuroorana kuti vachatanure nokuda kwezvikonzero zvisati zviri zvakasimba, zvisati zviri zvapaMagwaro. Uye vazhinji vanoziva—kwave kunyanyononoka—kuti chimiro chavo chendangariro “chazvino uno,” “chakavhenekerwa” kuchatanuro chakavanyengedza kupinda mumusungo.

Musungo? ‘Ishoko rinoti tyisei zvikuru,’ vamwe vangadaro. Ungarangarira, sezvinoita vazhinji nhasi, kuti chatanuro inongova bedzi nzira yakapepuka yokubuda nayo muroorano ine nhamo. Asi unoziva nezvorutivi rwusina kujeka rwechatanuro here? Uye wati waona here kuti nyika yanhasi inogona sei kuumba nomutoo wamano mano mirangariro yedu nokuda kwechatanuro—pasina kukuziva kwedu?

Nyengedzo Yokuzvigutsa

Kuna Andrew naAnn, rutivi rwehwambo hwakava nyengedzo kukupinda muchatanuro hwakanga huri vimbiso inonyengera yokuzviguta nebasa rinobudirira. Roorano yavo yakava nyajambwa kuchimiro chendangariro chokuti ‘basa pamberi.’ Yakanga isati ichitongova nyajambwa wokutanga akadaro. Magazini inonzi Family Relations yakati shure muna 1983: “Kuzvigutsa kwomunhu kwazova nhungamiro. Somuuyo, zvisungo zvapedyo zvemitezo yemhuri mizhinjisa zvinokurumidza kudambuka uye kunyange chisungo cheroorano chiri mudzvinyiriro inowedzera.” Andrew akaororwa zvikuru nebasa rake idzva nevimbiso yaro yeenderero mberi. Akagamuchira mabasa omuraudzo ndokufambidzana navamabiyake pashure pamaawa ebasa kuti awane ruremekedzo rwakawanda nokugamuchirwa. Munguva ino, basa raAnn rakamuorora nezviono zvorubudiriro kupfurikidza nedzidzo inopfuurira.

Kudzingana nenyengedzo yorubudiriro kwakava nemiuyo miviri. Wokutanga, kwakareva kuti Andrew naAnn vakanga vane nguva shoma nokuda kwomumwe nomumwe. Sokukutaura kunoita Ann: “Takanga tichiparadzanisirwa mumativi akasiana. Naizvozvo takanga tisingavi nenguva yedu yekurukurirano pakati pedu yateni kiroko sezvataisimboita, kugara pasi tichitaura hedu zvinhu. Panzvimbo pakwo akanga achigadzirira zuva rake rinotevera kubasa, uye ndozvandakanga ndichiitawo. Kurukurirano yakamira.”

Muuyo wechipiri wakanga uri umudzimu. Kupfurikidza nokuisa kwavo mabasa pakutanga, vakanga vachichinjira ukama hwavo naMwari mushure apo ivo vakanga vachimuda zvikurusa chaizvo. Purogiramu yokubatira pamwe yokushandisa nheyo dzeBhaibheri ingadai yakabetsera Andrew kudzivisa chinetso chake chokunwa ndokupa Ann simba rokuomerera kumurume wake mukati mouyu muedzo wakaoma.

Naizvozvo panzvimbo pokushandira pazvinetso zvavo zveroorano, vakavamba kuona chatanuro sechisarudzo chinoshanda, zvimwe kunyange sesununguko kubva mudzvinyiriro yose. Pashure pechatanuro, kuva nemhaka kwavo nenyadzi kwakavaita kuti varege chose chose upenyu hwavo hwomudzimu. Vakanga vasati vachataurazve kuva maKristu.

“Nyanzvi” Dzinobetsera Kuisa Hwambo Hwomusungo

Vanyakuroorana vazhinji, pavanonangana nezvinetso zveroorano, vanotendeukira kuvapi zano veroorano navezvokurapa kana kuti kumabhuku akanyorwa nezviremera zvakadaro. Asi nomutoo unosuruvarisa, dzimwe “nyanzvi” dzazvino uno dzeroorano dzakabvumikisa kuva dzinoziva zvikuru kusimudzira chatanuro pane kuchengeta roorano. Mumakumi amakore achangobva kupfuura aya mifungo you“nyanzvi” inorwisana neroorano yakava isingaverengeki neinoparadza.

Somuenzaniso, nyanzvi dzokurapa ndangariro Susan Gettleman naJanet Markowitz vakanyunyuta muThe Courage to Divorce, vachiti: “Chitendero chisina mufungo chinopfuurira chokuti vanhu vanochatanura vakatsauka pachinzwano chinobetsera chinonzi ‘upenyu hwemhuri hwenguva dzose.’” Ivo vanozvidza “mipiringidzo yapamutemo nemipimo yetsika” mukurwisana nechatanuro izvo zva“kavakirwa panheyo dzorudzidziso dzakavamba mazana amakore akapfuura.” Chatanuro, vanotaura kudaro, ichavapo kutozosvikira kusashandiswa kwapashoma napashoma kweroorano” kwaita kuti chatanuro “ive isiri madikanwa.” Vanorumbidza mabhuku avo kumagweta, vatongi—uye vakuru vakuru vorudzidziso!

‘Chatanuro haina kushata. Chatanuro inosunungura. Kupararira kwechatanuro hakusiri chiratidzo chokuti chimwe chinhu chakashata munzanga; chiratidzo chokuti chimwe chinhu chakashata mukuitwa kweroorano.’ “Nyanzvi” zhinji dzakadzidzisa murangariro iwoyo, zvikurukuru mukati menhambo inodiwa zvikurusa yokushatswa kwevatano kwomuma 1960 nomuma 1970. Pamisi ichangobva kupfuura iyi zvikuru, nyanzvi dzokurapa ndangariro nenyanzvi dzamagariro avanhu dzakakurumbira dzakatorangarira kuti munhu ano“tungamirirwa”—nemhindumupindu, pazvinhu zvose—kutsinhanisa vakwanyina makore mashomanene ari ose. Namamwe mashoko, vatano yokunze kweroorano nechatanuro zvinongova bedzi zvomuzvarirwo.

Kwakaoma kufungidzira kuti iroorano ngani dzakakuvadzwa nemifungo yakadaro. Asi dzimwe nyanzvi zhinji dzinokurudzira chatanuro munzira dzakawanda zvikuru dzamano mano. Diane Medved zvaakanzvera bhuku rake rinonzi The Case Against Divorce, akawana mabhuku 50 mumupakwa wake womunzvimbomo ayo kana asina kusimudzira chatanuro chose chose, zvimwe akabatira ‘kukurudzira varavi kuita chatanuro.’ Anonyevera, kuti: “Aya mabhuku anokuita kuve nyore, kufanana nokupfeka chipfeko chesirika kusingadi nhamburiko kuti upinde mumhoteredzo nemibato yavanhu vasina kuroora ndokurumbidza ‘rusununguko rutsva’ rwako sokunge kuti irwo . . . ndiwo mutoo wokupedzisira kugutsikano.”

Dzimwe Pesvedzero

Chokwadi, kune dzimwe pesvedzero zhinji dzinosimudzira chatanuro kunze kwe“nyanzvi” dzinotsausa. Manyuko amashoko—terevhizheni, mabhaisikopo, magazini, mabhuku orudo—kazhinji kazhinji anowedzera kudirano yeparadziro inopfuurira murwisano neroorano. Padzimwe nguva manyuko amashoko anogovera shoko rokuti mufarwa usingaperi, mufaro, uye gutsikano zviri kunze kwomuitiro unofinha woupenyu hweroorano uye kuti pamugumo wouyu muraraungu unon’animira wokusaroora norusununguko pakamirira mumwe mukwanyina, akanaka zvikurusa kupinda uyo ari kumba.

Kungova bedzi anotsoropodza wepfungwa dzakadaro dzokupandukira hakungavi taviridziro padziri. Sokutsanangura kunoita Medved: “Unoona bhaisikopo, uye kunyange muuchenjeri hwako unotapurwa nesimba raro. Haungagoni kuridzivisa—nhau nebatirano zvinopiwa nenzira yokuti zviwane tsitsi kumunhu mukuru (murume anopfimba mukutamba here?) uye ruvengo kupfutsi (mudzimai anotuka here?). . . . Iwe pachako ungasaregerera zvaunoona, asi zivowo zvayo yokuti vamwe vanoregerera, inosimbiswa mune dzimwe nzira dzakawanda mumagariro edu ose, inokubvisira utsungi hwako umene hwokuita zvakanaka nouchokwadi.”

Mufambiro wavanhu biyedu unotipesvedzera chaizvo. Kana ikoko kuri manyuko echokwadi amashoko enhau, kwakadaro sei neshamwari dzatinosarudza! Nomutoo wokuchenjera, Bhaibheri rinonyevera, kuti: “Musatsauswa. Songaniro dzakashata dzinoshatsa tsika dzinobetsera.” (1 VaKorinte 15:33) Roorano yakanaka ndeimwe yetsika dzinobetsera zvikurusa. Tinogona kuishatsa kana tikaita ushamwari naavo vasati vachiremekedza kuitwa kwayo. Vanyakuroorana vazhinji vakazviwana vamene vasundirwa kuchatanuro nemhaka yokuti vakawadzanyurira zvinetso zvavo zveroorano ku“shamwari” dzakadaro—padzimwe nguva kunyange kuna avo vamene vakasarudza chatanuro vasina hwaro hunoshanda nokuda kwechatanuro.

Vamwe nguva isati yasvika vanotsvaka pangiro yapamutemo apo roorano yavo inenge iri kudzvinyirirwa. Vanokanganwa kuti gadziriro yapamutemo munyika zhinji isangano rinosanoshanda rakarongedzererwa kuita kuti chatanuro ive nyore. Pashure pokurangarira zvose, magweta anowana mhindu mukuita chatanuro, kwete yananisiro.

Zvisinei, ungabvunza kuti, ‘Kana magweta ose iwayo, nyanzvi dzezvokurapa ndangariro, vanhu vamanyuko enhau, uye kunyange shamwari navazivikanwi vakagamuchira ndokusimudzira nomutoo unobudirira chimiro chendangariro chokuregerera chatanuro, hapangavi here kuti icho vanotaura ndechechokwadi?’ Vanhu vazhinji kudaro vangava vasina kururama pamusoro pechimwe chinhu chinokosha kudaro here? Kutarira padzimwe dzetapuro dzapashure dzechatanuro kuchatibetsera kupindura.

[Mashoko Omuzasi]

[Mufananidzo uri papeji 7]

Dzimwe “nyanzvi” dzazvino uno dzeroorano dzinoziva zvikuru kusimudzira chatanuro kupfuura kuchengetedza roorano