Chatanuro—Muuyo Wayo Wakakomba Zvikuru

HAASATI ari magweta kana kuti shamwari kana kuti manyuko enhau kana kuti “nyanzvi” vanotambura miuyo yechatanuro. Ndivo vananyakuchatanura—navana vavo—vanobhadhara muripo wokupedzisira.a Mukusiana nokuva chinoitika chinosunungura, chatanuro ingaitika pakutambura kukuru kunokatyamadza.

MuThe Case Against Divorce, Diane Medved anobvuma kuti iye pakutanga airangarira kunyora bhuku raizova “risingatori rutivi mutsika” kuchatanuro. Akanzwa achigombedzerwa, kunyange zvazvo zvakadaro, kuti achinje ndangariro yake. Neiko? Anonyora, kuti: “Nenzira yakapfava zvikuru, ndakawana munzvero yangu kuti muitiro uye muuyo wapashure wechatanuro une ngwavaira chose chose—kumuviri, ndangariro, uye mudzimu—kuti muchiverengero chinokatyamadza chenhau, ‘mushonga’ waunounza zvirokwazvo wakaipisisa kupinda ‘chirwere cheroorano.’”

Ann, adudzwa munyaya yatangireyi, anoti: “Ndaifunga kuti chatanuro yaizova rusununguko. Ndaifunga kuti kudai ndingabuda bedzi mune iyi roorano, ipapo ndaizogara zvakanaka. Asi pamberi pechatanuro, zvisinei kutambudzika kwendangariro yangu kwakandiita ndinzwe kuti ndakanga ndiri mupenyu. Pashure pokunge ndachatanura, handina kutombonzwa kuti ndiri mupenyu. Pakanga pane kusava namaturo zvokuti ndakanzwa kusavapo. Kwakanga kuchityisa chaizvo. Handigoni kurondedzera kuti ndakanzwa ndisina maturo sei.” Pashure pechatanuro, vimbiso dzisina kutsarukana dzorusununguko nomufaro zvakatsakatikira muzvinhu chaizvo zverima rokurarama nokuva mupenyu zvezuva nezuva.

Zvokwadi yechokwadi ndeiyi, kunyange kana pane zvikonzero zvapamutemo nokuda kwechatanuro, miuyo yayo inogona kuva inorwadza uye inogara narini. Naizvozvo ani naani anorangarira chiito chikuru chakadaro angava akachenjera kutetekera zano raJesu, rinoti: ‘Verenga ndyiko.’ (Ruka 14:28) Nomutoo wakananga, ndokupi kuri kumwe kwokurasikirwa, mimwe yemiuyo yapashure inorwadza yechatanuro?

Miuyo Yendangariro Netsika

Fundo yemisi ichangobva kupfuura iyi yakabudiswa muJournal of Marriage and the Family yakaratidzira kuti chatanuro yakabatanidzwa nokusafara nokuora mwoyo. Vachatanurani sezvinobvira vaiva vanopera mwoyo zvikuru, uye avo vakachatanurana kanopfuura kamwe sezvinobvira vaipera mwoyo kazhinji kazhinji zvikuru. Wezvoruzivo rwamagariro avanhu Lenore Weitzman, mubhuku rake rinonzi The Divorce Revolution, anonyora kuti vanhu vakachatanura navakaparadzana vane mwero yakakura zvikurusa yokupinzwa muzvipatara zvavanhu vane zvinetso zvendangariro kana kuti pfungwa; vanotamburawo mwero mikuru zvikuru yechirwere, rufu rwenguva isati yasvika, uye kuzviuraya.

Mufundo yake yavanhu vane 200, Medved akawana kuti chatanuro yakasiya varume navakadzi vavhiringidzika mundangariro kweavhareji yamakore manomwe, vamwe kwamakumi amakore. Chinhu chimwe icho chatanuro isina kutapura, iye akawana, chakanga chiri mutoo unokuvadza wokuzvibata wakaparira vanyakuroorana kuti vachatanure pakutanga. Ipapoka, hakushamisi kuti roorano dzechipiri sezvinobvira zvikuru dzinotova dzinokundikana kupinda roorano dzokutanga!

Mukusiana nokuvandudza kuzvibata, chatanuro kazhinji kazhinji ine muuyo wakashata chose chose patsika. Vanzveri vakawana kuti pashure pechatanuro, varume vazhinjisa navakadzi vanopinda munguva pfupi mukunenge kuyaruka kwechipiri. Vanoravidza rusununguko rwavo ruchangobva kuwanwa kupfurikidza nokuronda nhevedzano yenhau itsva dzorudo nokuda kwokusimudzira kuzvikudza kunokura kana kuti kuderedza ushoma. Asi kuronga misi yokuvhakacha nokuda kwezvikonzero zvokuzviponesa kwakadaro kunogona kuparira utere hwevatano, uho hune ndaza yahwo humene refu yemiuyo ine ngwavaira. Uye kunogona kuva kunokuvadza zvikurukuru mundangariro nomupfungwa nokuda kwavana kuona vabereki vavo vachiita neiyi nzira.

Kunyange zvazvo zvakadaro, kazhinji kazhinji zvikuru, vanyakuchatanurana vakatobvumirana uye vanotsigira paradziro yenyika yokuti zvinodikanwa zvavo vamene nezvinoitirwa hanya zvinouya pakutanga. Nokudaro, vanozvishingisira vamene kumarwadzo avachave vachiparira muupenyu hwakavapota—hwavana vavo, hwavabereki vavo, hweshamwari dzavo. Vamwe vanokanganwa kuti Mwari anogonawo kukuvadzika mumwoyo make apo tinofuratira mipimo yake. (Enzanisa nePisarema 78:40, 41; Maraki 2:16.) Chatanuro inogonawo kuva bhizimisi routsinye, zvikurukuru apo iyo inopinda murwisano dzapamutemo pamusoro pokuchengetwa kwavana nepfuma.

Ngwavaira Yemari

Lenore Weitzman akapfuurirazve kutaura kuti chatanurowo i“ngwavaira yemari”wo nokuda kwavakadzi muUnited States. Paavhareji, inogura napakati mari dzavo nokuda kwezvinodikanwa zvakadai sezvokudya, imba, uye mwoto. Mupimo wavo wokurarama, akawana, wakaderera ne 73 muzana inokatyamadza pashure pechatanuro!

Iye akanga akarira kuwana kuti mitemo yechatanuro yazvino uno, “yakanatswa” yaizobatira setaviridziro nokuda kwavakadzi. Panzvimbo pakwo, akawana kuti vakadzi vakashumwa vachinzwa vapererwa nezano rose zvaro uye vasina chinhu pashure pechatanuro. Vakataura nezvokutendeukira kamwe kamwe kupurogiramu dzewerofeya, zvitambi zvezvokudya, dzimba dzokugara, nzvimbo dzinogoverwa zvokudya kuvanoshaya. Vane 70 muzana yakakwana yavakadzi vaakabvunzurudza vakashuma kuti vaipfuurira kuzvidya mwoyo pamusoro pokuva nemari yakaringanira kuripira zvikwereti zvavo. Vamwe vainzwa rutyo, vhiringidziko, uye kunyange vakaganhurirwa navana vavo, vasina nguva yavo vamene.

Rimwe jaya ratichatumidza kuti Tom, rina vabereki varo vakachatanura apo iro rakanga rine makore masere okukura, rinoyeuka, kuti: “Pashure pokunge baba vaenda, eya, taigarova nezvokudya, asi kamwe kamwe, bhodhoro resoda rakanga riri umbozha. Hatati taigona kutenga zvipfeko zvitsva. Amai vaitofanira kutisonera hembe dzedu dzose. Apo ndinotarira mifanikiso yedu vana panguva iyeyo, mufanikiso wavanhu vanoratidzika kuva vanorwara.”

Sezvo vakadzi vazhinjisa vachiwana kuchengetwa kwavana uye vanababa vazhinji vachikundikana kubhadhara tsigiro inorairwa nedare—iyo inowanzova iri pasi pomwero mudukusa—sezvinobvira zvikuru chatanuro inoita kuti vakadzi vave vasina chinhu kupinda varume. Zvisinei, chatanuro haingapfumisiwo chaizvoizvo varume. Bhuku rinonzi Divorced Fathers rinoti ndyiko dzapamutemo dzoga bedzi hadzigoni kutora hafu yemari inotambirwa nomurume. Chatanuro inoparadzanyawo mundangariro nokuda kwavarume namadzibaba. Vazhinji vanorwadziwa pamusoro pokuva vanoderedzerwa kuvashanyiwo zvavo muupenyu hwavana vavo.

Rinda Roorano Yako!

Hakusati kuchitongoshamisa, ipapoka, kuziva kuti mukufundwa kwavanhu vakachatanura kwegore rimwe, 81 muzana yavarume/madzibaba uye 97 muzana yavadzimai/vanamai vakabvuma kuti chatanuro ingave yakava chikanganiso uye kuti ivo vanofanira kuve vakaedza zvakasimba kuita kuti roorano yavo ishande. “Nyanzvi” dzinowedzera nomutoo weshungu dziri kubvawo muzvimiro zvendangariro zvokuzvidza kuroorano zvavaichimbotsigira. Los Angeles Times pamisi ichangobva kupfuura iyi yakati: “Tina makore anopfuura 25 okuona miuyo, nyanzvi zhinji dzezvokurapa . . . dziri kushanda nesimba kuponesa roorano.”

Chokwadi, kubva kuri nyore zvikuru nokuda kwe“nyanzvi.” Zvose zvavanofanira kuita, kureva idika, ndiko kuti, “Maiwe! Tine urombo!” ndokuvamba kuzivisa shoko rakasiana. Hakusati kuri nyore zvikuru kuzviuru zvavanhu vakatevera pangiro yadzo. Zvisinei, vanyajambwa vechatanuro vanogona kudzidza zvifundo zvinotambudza muchinoitika chavo chakakomba, chakadai seicho chinotaurwa mumashoko okupfupikisa paPisarema 146:3, 4: “Musavimba navanokudzwa, kana kuti nomwanakomana womunhu wapasi, uyo asina ruponeso. Mudzimu wake unobuda, iye anodzokera kupasi kwake; muzuva irero mifungo yake inoparara.”

Shamwari, nyanzvi dzokurapa, magweta, kana kuti vanhu vamanyuko enhau havasati vari chimwe chinhu kunze kwavanhu vasina kukwana. Naizvozvo apo tinoda pangiro pamusoro peroorano, kutsamirirei chose chose pavari? Hakusati kwaizoita mufungo zvikuru here kutanga kutendeukira kuna Jehovha Mwari, Mugadziri weroorano? Nheyo dzake hadzichinji nokuchinja kwekombamiro dzemifungo ye“nyanzvi.” Dzaramba dziri dzechokwadi kwezviuru zvamakore, uye dzinoshanda nanhasi.

Andrew naAnn vakavamba kuziva ikoku paimwe nguva pashure pokunge vachatanura. Vakaona kuti chatanuro yavo yakanga iri mhosho yakashata zvikuru. Nomutoo wakatanhamara, kunyange zvakadaro, kwakanga kusati kuri kunyanyononoka kwavari. Vakava pamwe chete zvakare ndokurooranazve. Uye vakavamba kuchinja kufunga kwavo. “Ndakaziva,” anoyeuka kudaro Andrew, “kuti ndakanga ndapererwa nezano rose zvaro mutsika, uye ndaida betsero. Kwenguva yokutanga mumakore, ndakanyengetera pamusoro pakwo. Ndakanga ndichida kuita chakarurama; nokudaro ndaitofanira kurega chandakanga ndichiita ndokuramba zvinokosha zvose zvandakanga ndawana munyika. Ndakanga ndisingachazvidizve.”

Ann anodzokorora, kuti: “Chikonzero nei isu tichigona kuva pamwe chete zvino, nenguva iyeyo inotyisa iri shure kwedu, ndechokuti isu tose tiri vaviri takanga tichida kuva vakanaka kuna Jehovha. Uye takanga tichida zvomenemene kuti roorano ibudirire.” Ikoku hakusati kuchireva kuti kwave kuri nyore chifocho. “Nguva dzose tinorinda ukama hwedu zvino, sembwa inorinda. Uye kana mumwe wedu akawana kuti huri kukukurika, tinotaura pamusoro pahwo.”

Andrew naAnn zvino vari kurera vana vaviri vanofadza. Anobatira somubatiri anoshumira muungano yeZvapupu zvaJehovha. Chokwadika, zvinhu hazvina kukwana chose chose. Hapana roorano yakatongokwana munyika ino yekare. Ingadaro seiko, apo iyo inobatanidza vanhu vaviri vasina kukwana? Ndicho chikonzero nei Bhaibheri richitinyevera kuti kubvira panguva apo chivi chakapinda munyika, roorano yakaunza mwero we‘dambudziko munyama.’ (1 VaKorinte 7:28) Nokudaro, roorano haisati ichifanira kupindwa mairi nomutoo wokurerutsa; munhu upi noupi anorangarira roorano angaita zvakanaka kupedza nguva yakawanda achitsvaka kuziva mukwanyina anokarirwa. Uye kana yangopindwa mairi, roorano nguva dzose inongoita bedzi senhamburiko inopinda mairi.

Nomutoo wakajeka, kunyange zvakadaro, chatanuro haifaniri kurangarirwawo nomutoo wokurerutsa. Apo chatanuro inofungwa kuva iri madikanwa kana kuti isingadzivisiki, zvamazvirokwazvo Mwari anogona kutipa betsero yatinoda kuti titsungirire nguva dzakaoma dzingatevera. Asi kana tikatevera kombamiro yenyika mukugamuchira murangariro usingakosheswi wokuitwa kutsvene kweroorano, ndianiko achatitaviridzira pamiuyo youfuza hwakadaro? Naizvozvo rindai roorano yenyu. Panzvimbo pokuva vakagadzirira kuirasa apo zvinhu zvinenge zvisiri kufamba zvakanaka, nangidzirai nhamburiko dzenyu kukugadzikisa zvinetso. Edzai kugadziridza roorano yenyu panokuita nhano isingachinjiki ndokuiparadza. Tarirai kuShoko raMwari nokuda kwemhinduro dzinoshanda kuzvinetso zveroorano.b Zvigadzikiso zviripo. Uye zvinoshanda.

[Mashoko Omuzasi]

[Mufananidzo uri papeji 10]

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