Vaenzi—Vanogona Sei Kugonana Nechinjo?
“TARIRAI,” akadaro Jaroslav wezera ramakore 17, aneta nokutsvinyirwa nemhaka yokuti muUkraine, “vabereki vangu vakauya muno [sa]vapoteri.” Akatsanangura kuti vakanga varasikirwa nenyika yavo vamene uye kuti kunyange kana vakanga vachida kudaro, vaisagona kudzokera zvino. Ichi chinoitika, chakanyorwa nomunyori John Brown mubhuku rake rinonzi The Un-melting Pot, chinozivisa rwisano chaiyoiyo yokugamuchirwa iyo vatami vazhinji navaenzi vanofanira kutsungirira. Iyi pwere yakawana kubva muchinoitika chakaoma kuti kuva anozvidemba pamusoro pokuva kwake wokumwe hakuna kubetsera nhau. Pakupedzisira yakasarudza kushandisa kusvika kwokuti ‘ndigamuchire sezvandiri’—uye kwakashanda!
Kufungirwa mano akaipa, nyumwiro, uye kusashivirirwa zvinhu chaizvoizvo izvo vaenzi vanofanira kutarisana nazvo. Asi kana uri wokumwe, pane nhano dzakanaka dzaunogona kuita kukubetsera kugonana nechinjo yacho.
Vavariro Nezvimiro
Uine zivo yokuti uchapinda mukufungirwa mano akaipa uye kurambwa kungabvira muupenyu hwako hutsva, unogona kugadziridza kuita kwako nenzira inowirirana. Rosemary, mumwe mutami weEngland ari muJapan, anotaura nezvechinoitika chake chokutanga. “Usatsamwiswa apo vanhu vomunzvimbomo vanoita tsinhiro dzinorwadza pamusoro penyika yokwako,” anonyevera kudaro, achiwedzera, kuti: “Dzivisa sundo inokurira yokuzvidzivirira umene, nyika yako, uye magariro ako ekare. Vapiwa nguva, vanhu vacharangarira zvimiro zvako zvezuva riri rose nomufambiro ndokugadziridza kufungira mano akaipa kwavo. Kungatora makore.”
Yeuka, nzanga yomunzvimbomo inokwenudzwa zvikuru pamusoro pevavariro dzako dzokuda kugara munyika yavo. Mumwe munyoreri waMukai! muGermany, iyo zvino ine zviverengero zvikuru zvavatami vokuEurope yokuMabvazuva, anoti: “Chinetso chokuchinjira kuupenyu munyika itsva chinotsamira pavavariro yomumwe yokutama. Avo vanoita saizvozo nokuda kwechikonzero chakanaka, vachishuva kuita kuti nyika itsva ive musha wavo, kazhinji kazhinji vane kurudziro yokudzidza mutauro ndokukodzeramo zvakanakisisa sezvavanogona. Avo vanorangarira kutama kwavo kuva kwechinguvana bedzi kana kuti avo vanosundwa chose chose nemifungo yebetsero dzezvemari vanokurumidza kuodzwa mwoyo. Naizvozvo vanoita nhamburiko duku yokugadziridza, kuchitungamirira kuvhiringidziko kwose kuri kuviri nokuda kwavo naavo vanobata navo.” Chokwadika, ikoku hakurevi kuti vatami havatongofaniri kudzokera kunyika dzavo dzokumusha kana ikoko kuri kwavanoshuva.
Kunyanguvezvo, zvimiro nevavariro zvowokumwe zvinogona kureva budiriro kana kuti kundikano mukuchinja. Kana uri muenzi, ziva kuti pakati pavagari vemo pane, sokutaura kunoita U.S. News & World Report, chitendero chakasimba chokuti “vaenzi vanonyungurutsa guruu retsika iro rinobatanidza marudzi pamwe chete.” Asi sezvaunobvumikisa faniro yako sowokumwe ndokupa betsero yako, vagamuchiri vako vachakuwana kuri nyore zvikuru kukugamuchira uye kunyange kushamwaridzana newe. Sokutsanangura kunoita Rosemary, mutami adudzwa pakuvamba, kuti: “Vanoda kuti uve wokumwe, asi vanodawo kuti ude zvavanoda.”
Zvimwe zvezvinetso izvo iwe somutami uchatarisana nazvo zvinogona kuva zvinokarirwa, kana zvisina kudziviswa, kupfurikidza nokudzidza zvakawanda zvikuru sezvinobvira pamusoro penzvimbo yauri kuenda inokarirwa. Kurava, kufunda, uye kutaura kuvamwe pamusoro penyika yacho, tsika, uye muitiro zvinogona kuva betsero huru mukukugadzirira nokuda kwevhiringidziko yetsika iyo yauchatambura nenzira isingadzivisiki.
Chokwadika, kunyoresa pamutemo kutama kwako kunokosha kukuwana ruremekedzo rwavoruzhinji vomunzvimbomo. Mumurangariro wavanhu vazhinji, vaenzi vasiri vapamutemo chigumbuso uye tyisidziro. Tichirangarira nenzira inokarirwa zvikuru vanorangarirwa savashandi vasingadhuri, vachimirira bedzi kushandiswa nenzira yokusanzwira tsitsi. Vatami vanobudirira vanotaura kuti kunobetsera kuedza unani hwako kunyoresa pamutemo kuvamo kwako. Pakubvunzurudzwa nezviremera zvokutama, kutaura kwakachena, kwakanaka kunokosha mukuita kuorora kwakanaka. Ratidza chimiro chokubatira pamwe. Usava anonzvenga maidi.
Asi kune zvakawanda kwazvo izvo iwe, muenzi, unogona kuita kunyaradza kurwadza kwokuchinjira kunyika itsva.
Iva Akazaruka
Kombamiro yomuzvarirwo yavauyi vatsva vazhinjisa ndeyokuungana pamwe chete munzanga dzavo vamene. Somuenzaniso, muNew York City, vagari vemo vose ndevorudzi rumwe chete zvikuru—vashomanene veItaly, Chinatown, chikamu chechiJudha, kungodudza hedu vashomanene. Nzanga dzakadaro dzinogovera mabasa anokosha etsigiro anoita kuti mutami anzwe akasununguka—pokutangira kunzvera zivo itsva.
Nenzira isingafadzi, papfundo rino vamwe vanorega ndokuzvibvisa vamene mumabanza nebetsero izvo zvingagona kuvabetsera chaizvoizvo. “Kana kuzvirovedzanisa umene netsika dzenyika uko mumwe anotamira kukava nzira inosarudzwa yokugonana nayo nenzira itsva . . . youpenyu,” inodaro magazini inonzi Psychology of Women Quarterly, “muitiro wokuchinja haungatongovi unopedzwa nenzira inobudirira.”
Mukupesana, vaenzi vazhinjisa avo vakava vakazaruka mundangariro zvakaringanira kuzvishandisa nomwoyo wose munzanga dzavo dzavanoenda kwadziri vanoshuma kuti upenyu hwavo hwakapfumiswa zvikuru somuuyo. Rimwe boka ravadzidzi veAmerica avo vakapedza chiverengero chakati chamavhiki vachiita fundo yokunzvera kukuru tsika pachitsuwa cheMicronesia cheGuam rakatsinhira pamuuyo unozaruka uyo iyoyi yakava nawo pamurangariro wavo wedzimwe tsika. “Ndinotarira pamusiano nefariro nokudisa kuziva panzvimbo pesokunge tyisidziro,” akabvuma kudaro mumwe mudzidzi. Mumwe akati: “Ndiri kuvamba kutarira patsika dzangu muchiono. . . . Ndiri kupanikira mipimo nezvinhu izvo ndakarerutsa munguva ichangobva kupfuura iyi. . . . Ndaigona kudzidza kwazviri.”
Zvisinei, kuti ubudirire mukuita mabanza okuita fambiro mberi, pane zvinodikanwa zvikuru zvakati zvinofanira kusvitswa.
Zvinokosha Kuumutezo Hwenzanga
“Kudzidza mutauro wenyika yauchava kunotungamirira kukuchinja kwokukurumidza uye kuri nyore . . . nemhaka yokuti kunobvumira mutami umutezo hwenzanga hwapedyo zvikuru hwokurarama.” Inorumbidza kudaro magazini inonzi Psychology of Women Quarterly. Asi nyeverwa! Kudzidza mutauro hakusi mutoo uri nyore. “Pakutanga ndakava nenguva yakaoma,” anoyeuka kudaro George, mutami ari muJapan. “Vaiseka pandaiita chikanganiso asi vaisandibetsera.” Nenzira isingadzivisiki, George aitakura wairesi inotakurika kupi nokupi kwaaienda uye aiteerera nhepfenyuro yeJapan. Iye anowedzera, kuti: “Ndakawana kuti kurava kuzhinji kwakandibetsera kusvika pakuziva mutauro.”
Mutauro worudzi ndiyo nzira kutsika dzarwo. Nepo pakupedzisira ungakwanisa kusvika pakuziva mutauro wacho, tsika itsva yakaoma zvikuru kwazvo kuziva. Ipapo ndipo apo mwero wedzikamo unodikanwa. Muenzi anoshuva kubudirira anofanira kuva akagadzirira kugutsikana nokudzidza tsika itsva, panguva imwe cheteyo achichengeta hunhu hwake amene nokuzviremekedza zvisingakuvadzwi. Sokutaura kwakaita munyori weYugoslavia Milovan Djilas, “munhu anogona kurega chinhu chiri chose—musha, nyika, munda—asi haagoni kuzvirega amene.” Kuwana dzikamo iyoyo kunopa denho huru.
Chinzwano Chemhuri
Munhu mumwe nomumwe anoita nenzira yakasiana kumhoteredzo itsva. Nenzira inonzwisisika, vanhu vakura vanowana kuti tsika yavo yomuzvarirwo nomutauro zvakanyura zvikuru muhunhu hwavo. Zvisinei, vana vanochinja mutauro netsika nokukurumidza zvikuru. Isati iri nguva refu, vangaita basa ravaturikiri, uye vabereki vavo kazhinji kazhinji vanozviwana vamene vari munzvimbo yavadzidziswa. Uku kuchinjaniswa kusiri kwomuzvarirwo kwenzvimbo kazhinji kazhinji kunotungamirira kubonderano mukati memhuri. Vabereki vanganzwa kuti vari kurasikirwa noruremekedzo, nepo vana vachiva vanoita pfundepfunde kuti tsika ye‘chinyakare’ yavabereki vavo iri kuiswa pavari. Naizvozvo mhuri dzevokumwe dzinogona sei kugonana neidzi dzvinyiriro dzakawedzerwa?
Kutanga, vabereki vanofanira kurangarira muuyo uyo mhoteredzo itsva inawo pavana vavo. Ikoku kunoreva kuita nhamburiko yokutama pamwe chete navana vavo—kwete kuvakarira kurarama mune imwe tsika bva vachiva vakavimbika kune imwe. Aya maruramiro anoda nzwisiso yavabereki vanotama, asi anoita zvakawanda kuparadzira funganyo pamusha. Imwe nheyo yeBhaibheri inoti: “Imba ichavakwa kupfurikidza nouchenjeri, uye kupfurikidza nenzwisiso ichabvumikisa kuva yakasanosimbiswa.”—Zvirevo 24:3, NW.
Nenzira yakafanana, vana vanofanira kuziva kuti kunyange zvazvo vabereki vavo vachibva mutsika yakasiana, vakadzidziswa noupenyu uye naizvozvo vane ruzivo rwokuzviwanira zvikuru. Ruremekedzo rwakafanira runopiwa kwavari ibetsero huru yokuchengeta upenyu hwemhuri hune rugare.
Nokudaro, pasinei hapo nezvinetso zvoumutezo hwenzanga, pane zvakawanda izvo iwe, muenzi, unogona kuita kuchinjira ruzivo rwokuzviwanira kukubetserwa kwako. Mumwe mutami muduku anobudirira wechiPutukezi anonzi Tony anokupeta neiyi nzira: “Kunyange zvazvo ndakawana zvinetso zvizhinji, somuuyo, ndakapfumiswa. Kunzwisisa mitauro miviri netsika kwakandipa chiono chikuru zvikuru paupenyu.”
[Bhokisi riri papeji 10]
Vaenzi Vanogona Sei Kugonana Nechinjo?
Ita . . .
▶ dzidza mutauro
▶ gamuchira ndokusvika pakunzwisisa tsika itsva
▶ chinjira kutsika dzomunzvimbomo
▶ funda mhoteredzo yako itsva uye bvunza mibvunzo pamusoro payo
▶ ita nhamburiko yokubatana semhuri
▶ batira pamwe nezviremera; ita unani hwako kunyoresa pamutemo mugariro wako
Rega . . .
▶ kubva munzanga yako yose
▶ kurangarira tsika yako umene seyakakwirira
▶ kuita kuti mari nezvinhu zvive chinhu chokutanga muupenyu hwako
▶ kukarira vana vako kuomerera kutsika yenyu yapakuvamba
▶ kuzvidza vabereki vako nemhaka yokuti vane magariro ekare akasiana
▶ kutama wakaparadzana nemhuri yako, kana uchigona kukudzivisa
[Mufananidzo uri papeji 9]
Kana ukadzidza mutauro wenyika yako itsva, uchakudza songaniro dzako