Vechiduku Vanobvunza Kuti . . .

Chii Chakaipa Nokutaurirana?

‘HATISI kunyengana, tiri kungotaura hedu.’ Ndiwo matsanangurire anoita Denny ane makore 17 okukura ushamwari hwake naTina.a Vakasangana pane imwe kokorodzano yeZvapupu zvaJehovha, uye chibviro chaipapo nguva dzose vakava nekurukurirano refu parunhare. Denny anobvuma kuti vachiri vaduku zvikuru kuti varonde nyengano yakakomba. Asi haaoni chakashata mukungotauriranawo zvavo.

Pwere zhinji idzo dzisingabvumirwi navabereki vadzo kuenda kundovhakacha kwomuitiro dzinobvumirwa kurera ushamwari navane mitezo yakasiana yokubereka nayo kupfurikidza nekurukurirano dzenguva dzose nokuridzirana runhare. Kutambawo hakwo here? Zvichida. Asi vamwe vabereki vanonyeverwa. “Kunoratidzika kuva chinetso chaicho pano navayaruki vaduku zvikuru ‘vari kuvatana’ navamwe vayaruki vaduku,” anonyora kudaro mumwe mubereki anoitira hanya. “Havasi kunyengana, asi vanorangarirana somukomana nomusikana.”

Dzimwe pwere dzinosakurira ushamwari hwomukomana nomusikana kupfurikidza nokunyorerana. Idzi tsamba dzingasava chimwe chinhu kupfuura kutaura kwoushamwari. Kazhinji kazhinji, kunyanguvezvo, kunova kworudo zvikuru mumataurirwe. Kubatanidzwa kworudo kungavapowo apo pwere dzinobatanidzwa mukunyorera vanhu avo vanozivikanwa kuva vanogadza muenzaniso wakashata samaKristu. Kungataurwa kuti kunyorerana kwacho kwakavamba sokuedza kwapachokwadi kukurudzira vakadaro.

Kutaura Kana Kuti Kunyengana Here?

Bhaibheri harishurikidzi kutaura kana kunyora kumitezo yavane mitezo yakasiana yokubereka nayo. MaKristu anofanira ku“da hama dzose,” uye ikoko kunobatanidza vaenzani vemitezo yose yokubereka nayo. (1 Petro 2:17) Bhaibheri rinoudzazve varume vaduku kubata “vakadzi vaduku sehanzvadzi nokuchena kwose.” (1 Timotio 5:2, NW) Apo iyi nheyo inoshandiswa, varume vaduku navakadzi vanogona kufarikanya ukama hwakachena, hunofadza—hungu, ushamwaridzani!

Zvisinei, pwere dzechiKristu kazhinji kazhinji dzinofarikanya ushamwaridzani hwakadaro mugadziriro dzeboka. Naizvozvo apo pwere mbiri dzinozvitsaura nokuda kwengwariro chaiyo, ushamwari hwacho hunovamba kuratidzika kuva hworudo, nyengano. Ikoku chaizvoizvo ndokumwe cheteko nokuronga misi yokundovhakacha here? Pwere zhinjisa zvimwe dzaizoti kwete. Zvisinei, vayaruki nguva dzose havana chokwadi nezveicho vakura vanoreva chaizvoizvo nokuronga misi yokundovhakacha.

Apo rimwe boka repwere rakakumbirwa kurondedzera kuronga misi yokundovhakacha, inopfuura hafu yakati kunoreva ‘kuvhakacha nowomutezo wakasiana wokubereka nawo.’ Vamwe vakakurondedzera sokunoreva ‘kusvika pakuziva mumwe munhu zviri nani.’ Imwe nzvero yamasanga pakati peboka repwere dzechiKristu yakava nemiuyo yakafanana. Mumwe mukomana ane makore 13 okukura akati: “Kuronga misi yokundovhakacha ndaapo unoenda nomusikana kumabhaisikopo ndokugara kunze kusvikira usiku uye ipapo ndokumuperekedza kumusha wake.”

Rimwe duramashoko rinorondedzera shoko rechiNgezi rokuti “date” (kuronga misi yokundovhakacha) se“fambidzano youshamwari pakati pavanhu vaviri vane mitezo yakasiana yokubereka nayo.” Ikoku hakungagoni kubatanidza kurukurirano dzenguva dzose nomumwe munhu here? Uye zvakadiniko nekurukurirano dzakadaro, kana kuti kubhuirana kwoushamwari, parunhare? Mumwe murume muduku anonzi Ivan anoti: “Chimiro chokuronga misi yokundovhakacha, zvikurukuru kana mune zuva rakarongwa pachine nguva mberi nenguva yokushanyira uyu munhu uye kurukurirano inovakirwa panhau dzefariro yomunhu oga.”

Bhuku rinonzi The Family Handbook of Adolescence rinoti: “Onano dzomukomana nomusikana . . . kazhinji kazhinji dzinoitwa nomututsamba, matsamba, uye runhare. Rumwe norumwe rwourwu rudzi rwekurukurirano runokosheswa [pakati pepwere] nemhaka yokuti runobvumira kuva pedyo padaro rakati.” Kunyange zvakadaro, pamusoro porudzi rupi norupi rwokuronga misi yokundovhakacha, kubatanidzwa kwakakomba kungakura. Rangarira mumwe murume muduku anonzi Jack. Paakava anofarira mumwe mukadzi muduku somukwanyina weroorano anobvira, iye aipedzera nguva yakawanda achitaura naye parunhare. “Kunobvira kuziva munhu kupfurikidza nekurukurirano dzaparunhare,” anodaro Jack. “Munogona kukurukura mifungo uye kunyange makunzwa parunhare.” Jack nomusikana wake vakaroorana. Nemhaka yedaro, vanyakuroorana vazhinji vakapfuudzira kuzhinji kwokunyengana kwavo kupfurikidza norunhare namatsamba!

Nhau yacho, ipapoka, haisati iri yokuti mungati vaviri vari kungotaurawo havo, kuonana, kana kuti kuronga misi yokundovhakacha, asi kuti rudzii rwoushamwari rwavari kusakurira. Uye apo mukomana nomusikana vanotsaurana, ikoku kunogona kupa chimiro chenyengano iri kuvamba kukura. Uye kazhinji kazhinji inopfuura chitarisikowo hacho. Sokutsanangura kunoita mumwe munyori muyaruki Jane Rinzler mubhuku rake rinonzi Teens Speak Out: “Kana vanhu vachidanana . . . vachatanga kusangana. Sezvingabvira kuchatanga nokutaura kwavo parunhare zvichida kamwe, zvichida nguva shomanene.”

Ngozi Dzenyengano Yekurumidziro

Zvino kungava kwakarurama kuti vanhu vaviri vatange ukama hwenyengano chero bedzi vachikwanisa kuronda roorano. Asi vaviri vashomanene vari kuyaruka vanofunga kunyengana nomurangariro weroorano. Mukuwirirana nebhuku rinonzi Adolescent Development, rakanyorwa naBarbara naPhilip Newman, kushamwaridzana kwavayaruki kazhinji kazhinji kunobatira se“chimirowo [hacho] chenhandaro,” nzira yo‘kuwana nzvimbo pakati pedzimwe pwere,’ uye nzira yoku“dzidza pamusoro pavane mitezo yakasiana yokubereka nayo.”

Asi pamusoro pamaKristu, roorano inoyera, inokudzwa. (VaHebheru 13:4) Nyengano muzvimiro zvipi nezvipi naizvozvo inhau yakakomba—kwete chimiro chomutambo. Uye apo mumwe anenge ari muduku zvikuru zvokusagona kupinda muroorano, ukama hwapedyo nomutezo wemitezo wakasiana wokubereka nawo kwose kunogona nyore nyore kuguma nokurwadziwa nenhamo. Bhaibheri rinokutaura neiyi nzira: “Ko munhu ungaisa mwoto muchipfuva chake, nguvo dzake dzikasatsva here?”—Zvirevo 6:27.

Apo Maria akanga ane makore 13 okukura, iye akavamba kuedza ushamwaridzani hwaparunhare. Kwaingova kutamba kwechinguvana. Asi sezvo akanga asati akura zvakaringanira kuti aroorwe, kushamwaridzana kwakadaro kwakangomusiya aodzwa mwoyo uye avhiringidzwa. “Tariro kana ichinonoka, inoodza mwoyo,” inodaro Zvirevo 13:12. Aifanirawo kubata nenhamo yokuchengeta nyengano yake yakavanzika kuvabereki vake. “Nguva iri yose apo runhare rwairira, ndaitya kuti mumwe munhuwo zvake aizorunonga—zvikurukuru amai vangu. Kwakanga kuchikwenudza apo vaibvunza kuti, ‘Ndiani iyeyu?’ uye vaizonyarara nemhaka yokuti pakanga pasina mhinduro.”

Kunyange kunyora tsamba kune ngozi dzakwo. Charlene, somuenzaniso, akakudziridza kunzwa kwakasimba kune akanga asingatendi. Anobvuma, kuti: “Ndakavamba kumunyorera, uye tava zvikuru vanopfuura shamwariwo hadzo. Iye chidhakwa, asi ndiri kuedza unani hwangu kumubetsera. Munofunga kuti pane tariro ipi neipi yokumuita kuti aderedze kunwa kwake here?” Kuedza kwaCharlene kuita basa romupi zano kuchidhakwa kwose kusachenjera uye kungaratidzika kuva kusingabudirire, zvisinei. Aigona nenzira iri nyore kuguma ava muroorano ine ngozi.b—2 VaKorinte 6:14.

Zvitaviridzire Umene Namano Okufunga

Pangiro yakanaka inopiwa pana Zvirevo 2:10, 11: “Nokuti uchenjeri huchapinda mumwoyo mako, zivo ichafadza mweya wako; kungwara kuchakurindira, njere dzichakuchengeta.” Vanhu vaduku kazhinji kazhinji vanobvumira mirangariro yavo kutungamirira zvisarudzo zvavo. Asi kupfurikidza nokushandisa mano okufunga nenzwisiso, unogona kuita zvakawanda ku“dzinga zvinonetsa pamwoyo pako, ubvise zvakaipa panyama yako.”—Muparidzi 11:10.

Nzwisiso inokubetsera kunzwisisa kuti uri mu“kukura zvakakwana kwoupwere,” nguva apo kunzwa kwevatano nemirangariro yenyengano zvinosimba. (1 VaKorinte 7:36, NW) Songanirano yapedyo nomutezo wemitezo yakasiana yokubereka nayo—kungave somunhu, kupfurikidza norunhare, kana kuti kunyange kupfurikidza netsamba—inokombamira kukunyandura rudo rwevatano. Ipapo kutsaurirei mumwe munhu nokuda kwengwariro chaiyo? Chokwadi, ungada kudzidza mabatire aungaita nomunhu womutezo wakasiana wokubereka nawo. Asi unogona kazhinji kazhinji kuita kudaro kupfurikidza nokufarikanya songanirano yavemitezo wakasiana wokubereka nawo mugadziriro dzeboka. Kunyange ipapo, dzivisa kuzviganhurira umene kumhoteredzo duku yeshamwari. “Mukuriswe mwoyo” musonganiro dzenyu. (2 VaKorinte 6:13) Kuita kudaro kuchaderedza bviro dzokukudziridza kubatanidzwa kwenyengano.

Ikoku kunoreva here kuti haugoni kutongotaura parunhare nomutezo wemitezo wakasiana wokubereka nawo kana kuti kumunyorera? Aiwa. Ngozi iri mukukudziridza batano yemirangariro kumunhu mumwe. Asi ngwarira kuti usakuvadze mumwe munhu kana kuti usazvikuvadze umene. Uye kunyange zvazvo usina kukuronga kuti kuitike kunzwa kwenyengano kunovamba kukura, ungada kurega ushamwari hwacho.

Kungabetserawo kutaura nhau dzacho nomunhu akura anovimbwa, akadai somumwe wavabereki vako. (Zvirevo 23:26) Pakutanga unganzwa uchizengurira kana kuti uchikwenudzwa pamusoro pokuzivisa kunzwa kwako. Asi vabereki vako vanganzwisisa kunzwa kwako zviri nani kupfuura zvaunofunga.

Angava makore usati wagadzirira kusakurira fariro yenyengano mumutezo wemitezo yakasiana yokubereka nayo. Munguvayo, kupfurikidza nokuratidza nyevero nefariro isina udyire muvamwe, unogona kufarikanya ukama hwakadzikama nomumwe ane mutezo wakasiana wokubereka nawo.

[Mashoko Omuzasi]

[Mifananidzo iri papeji 19]

Kurukurirano yaparunhare ingagona kurangarirwa senyengano here?