Roorano—Chikonzero Nei Vazhinji Vachisiya

ICHIPA ngwariro pachatanuro muHong Kong, umo tsika dzokuMabvazuva nedzokuMadokero dziriko pamwe chete, Asia Magazine yakati: “Kushaikwa kwekurukurirano, kusavimbika, zvinetso zvevatano nokusawirirana zvinhu zvinowanzova chisakiso cherwisano yeroorano kuna vose vari vaviri vakaroorana veChina nevokuMadokero.” Mugariro wacho wakafanana kune dzimwe nzvimbo munyika.

Vose vari vaviri varume navakadzi vane zvimiro zvendangariro zvebasa pakutanga havatani kurega mhuri dzavo nokuda kwebasa ravo. Nokudaro, vanovhara kurukurirano yemhuri. Aneta pashure pezuva rebasa, murume anozvibatikanisa amene mukurava pepanhau. Junichi nomudzimai wake vaitarisira tuhotera tutatu uye vaishanda kubvira panguva yorusere mumangwanani kusvikira munguva yegumi usiku munzvimbo dzakasiana-siana. “Pakanga pachidokuva pasina kurukurirano pakati pedu somurume nomudzimai,” anobvuma kudaro Junichi. Uku kushaikwa kwekurukurirano kwakatungamirira kuzvinetso zvakakomba zveroorano.

Chimwe chinhu chinotungamirira kukuputsika kwezvisungo zveroorano ndiwo murangariro wavanhu wevatano yokunze kweroorano. Vatano kunze kweroorano zvino yakapararira zvikuru zvokuti 20 muzana yavanhurume ne 8 muzana yavanhukadzi vanodavidza kunzvero muJapan vakabvuma kuti vakanga vava nevatano kunze kwevatano dzavo navarume vavo mukati megore rapfuura. Asiri wechienzi ndiye mukadzi webasa muJapan aivatana navarume vasiri murume wake. Aibva pane mumwe murume achienda pane mumwe, achifunga kuti, “Kana murume wangu akaziva, ndichangomuchatanura bedzi.” Nzanga yazvino uno inoedzesera kusaona idzi vatano.

Iyi nzanga imwe cheteyo inosimudzira chimiro chendangariro chaini pakutanga, zvokuti vose vari vaviri murume nomudzimai vanova vane udyire, uhwo hunotungamirirawo kukusawirirana, chimwe chisakiso chechatanuro. “Isu savakaroorana taigona kuve takaparadzana panguva ipi neipi,” anodaro Kiyoko. “Nokukurumidza patakaroorana, murume wangu akandiudza kuva robhoti uye kuita sezvandakanga ndichiudzwa bedzi. Apo zvinhu zvakanga zvichimunakira, kwakanga kusina kunyanyoshata, asi apo zvinhu zvakaoma, iye aisazobvuma zvikanganiso zvake uye aipomera chinhu chiri chose pavamwe. Ini ndaipomerwawo, sezvo ndaiwanzopandukira chiremera. Ndakakuwana kuva kwakaoma zvikuru kuteerera murume wangu apo iye akanga achiva asingaruramisiri.”

Zvimwe zvikonzero zvechatanuro ndiwo masimba masimba noudhakwa, zvinetso zvemari, zvinetso nehama dzomuroorano, uye kubatwa zvisina kufanira mundangariro.

Chii Chiri Chikonzero Chayo?

Pasinei hapo nokuti zvikonzero zvechatanuro zvakasiana sei, pane chimwe chinhu chiri chikonzero chikuru chewedzero yako yenyika yose. Kunyange zvazvo Mabvazuva achipomera pesvedzero yenzanga yokuMadokero nokuda kwezvakashata zvayo, kugamuchirwa kwechatanuro muMadokero ndichinoitika chazvino uno. Kutaura idi, chatanuro muUnited States dzakapeta nakatatu uye muBritain dzakapeta nekana kupfuura mumakore ane makumi mashomanene bedzi apfuura. Andrew J. Cherlin weThe Urban Institute (sangano rokunzvera rinofeya-feya zvinetso zvenzanga nezvemugariro wemari muUnited States), kunyange zvazvo achibvuma kuti zvisakiso zvewedzero muchatanuro hazvisiri kusanonzwisiswa, anoronga “kuzvimirira kunowedzera mune zvemari kwavakadzi” ne“chinjo muchimiro chendangariro chenzanga yose zvayo” sezviri pakati pezvinhu zvinosakisa kombamiro yacho.

Kuvakadzi vari muUnited States, pamwe chete naavo vari mudzimwe nyika dzamabasa okugadzirwa kwezvinhu, kuroorwa uye kushanda kunze kwomusha wavo hakusichirizve kwechienzi. Zvisinei, mugove womurume wamabasa apamba wave uchinonoka zvikuru kuwedzera. Hakushamisi kuti vamwe vakadzi vanogurukuta, kuti: “Icho mukadzi ari wose anoshanda anoda zvikurusa ndimumwe munhu wokuita basa romudzimai!”

Nepo vakadzi vachishanda zvakaoma zvikuru kugeza, kuchenesa, kugadzira zvokudya, uye kutarisira vana, muUnited States, “varume vazhinji vanofarikanya kupedzera nguva ‘mukusaita chinhu,’” rinodaro bhuku rinonzi The Changing American Family and Public Policy. Ikoku kunoitika munyika yose, dzinodaro nyanzvi dzamagariro avanhu. MuJapan hakusi kwechienzi kuti varume vanondotandara pashure pebasa. Vanotaura kuti ndichinodikanwa nokuda kwoukama hwavanhu hwakanaka kunzvimbo yavo yebasa, nepo vachifuratira ukama hwavanhu hwakanaka pamusha. Sezvo varume, mukuwirirana nokuva nomufungo kwavo, vari variritiri, vakadzi navana havafaniri kunyunyuta. Zvisinei, navakadzi vakawanda vanoshanda kufunga kwakadaro kunoratidzirwa kuva kungoitawo zvako pembedzo.

Chimwe chinhu chikuru chinobetsera kukundikano yeroorano “ichinjo dzechimiro chendangariro yenzanga yose zvayo” kana kuti, sokutaura kunoita Journal of Marriage and the Family, “derero mupfungwa youchigarire hweroorano.” Kumwenga nezvikomba zvomuma 1990, mhiko yegamuchidzanwa yeroorano yo“kutozosvikira rufu rwatiparadzanisa” haisati icharevazve izvozvo chaizvo. Vanoramba vachitsvaka mukwanyina ari nani. Kana ariwo marangaririre anoita vakaroorana vachangobva kuchata, ichava yakasimba zvakadini?

Idzi chinjo dzenzanga hadzisati dzichitongokatyamadza kuvadzidzi veBhaibheri. Iri bhuku rakafuridzirwa rinozivisa kuti kubvira muna 1914 tave tichirarama mu“mazuva okupedzisira,” ayo ari “nguva dzinotambudza dzakaoma kubata nadzo.” Vanhu “vanozvida vamene, . . . vasingaongi, vasingavimbiki, vasina chidakadaka chomuzvarirwo, vasingadi bvumirano ipi neipi.” (2 Timotio 3:1-3, NW) Naizvozvo kuvanhu vanozvida vamene kupfuura vakwanyina vavo, vanova vasingavimbiki kuvakwanyina vavo, uye vasingagoni kusvika pabvumirano ipi neipi muroorano yavo, chatanuro inova nzira bedzi yokubuda nayo muzvinetso zvavo zveroorano.

Suo Rokuenda Kuupenyu Hunofadza Zvikuru Here?

Chatanuro, mune zvinoitika zvizhinjisa, haina kuzvibvumikisa imene kuva suo rokuenda kumufarwa.a “Chatanuro inonyengedza,” anodaro munzveri woutano nendangariro Judith Wallerstein pashure pokunzverwa kwamakore 15 kwavakaroorana vakachatanura 60. “Pamutemo ndichinoitika chimwe chete, asi mundangariro inhevedzano—padzimwe nguva nhevedzano isingatongogumi—yezvinoitika, kutama uye ukama hunochinja zvikuru zvinoitika kwenhambo yakati yenguva.” Fundo dzake dzinoratidzira kuti chikamu chimwe chezvina chavakadzi nechikamu chimwe chezvishanu chavarume chakanga chisati chaita kuti upenyu hwavo hudzokere kuhwenguva dzose makore gumi pashure pechatanuro.

Vanotapurwa zvikurukuru ndivo vana vechatanuro. Mukunzvera kumwe cheteko, Wallerstein akawana kuti nokuda kwavanodokusvika vana vose vanobatanidzwa, chatanuro yakashandisa “tapuro dzine simba nedzisingakarirwi chose chose.” Vamwe vana vanoramba kunzwa kwakaipa kupi nokupi pamusoro pechatanuro yavabereki vavo vangawana kamwe kamwe mirangariro yakadaro ichibuda pamhene gare gare muupenyu hwavo apo vanotsvaka mukwanyina weroorano.

Ikoku hakusati kuchireva kuti vanyajambwa vose vechatanuro havazotongowani mufarwa, sezvo vamwe vachidaro. Kuna ivava, hunhu hunoumbwazve hunobuda, kazhinji kazhinji kubva muhunhu hwekare. Somuenzaniso, kana katyamadzo yechatanuro nenhamo yayo inova pamwe chete nayo nepanikiro pamusoro pekodzero yako umene zvangopera bedzi, mukwanyina asina mhaka angabuda munhamo ava munhu akasimba zvikuru, anokosha zvikuru, akakwana.

Mumwe mudzimai ane murume akamusiya nokuda kwomumwe mukadzi anotsanangura kuti pashure pokunge kuvadziko nokutsamwa zvatanga kuterama, “unowana kuti wakasiana mukati. Kunzwa kwako kwachinja. Haungatongogoni kuva munhu wawaiva kare.” Anopangira, kuti: “Wana nguva yokuzvizivazve umene somunhu ari oga. Muroorano vakwanyina vanowanzodzora zvavanoda nezvishuvo nokuda kwomumwe munhu, asi pashure pechatanuro, nguva inofanira kuwanwa yokuwana zviri zvaunoda nezvausingadi zvino. Kana ukaviga kunzwa kwako, unokuviga kuri kupenyu. Rimwe zuva kuchadzoka, uye uchatofanira kunangana nako. Naizvozvo ungatofanirawo kunangana nokunzwa kwako ndokushandira kukupedza.”

Nemhaka yokuzivikanwa kunowedzera kwezvinetso zvinomutswa nechatanuro, kuri kuva kunokwezva zvishoma sechisarudzo. Magazini inonzi Time inoshuma kuti vorushoma vanowedzera vavapi zano zvino vari kukurudzira vakaroorana vanotambudzika, kuti: “Garai pamwe chete.” David Elkind wapaTufts University akanyora, kuti: “Kutambura chatanuro kwakati fananei nokuvhuna gumbo rako parwendo rweski: Hazvinei nokuti vamwe vanhu vangani vari panzvimbo yeski vanovhuna gumbo ravo nemhaka bedzi yokuti vamwe vanhu vazhinji vanovhuna gumbo, gumbo rako ravhunika haritongorwadzi zvishoma.”

Chatanuro haisati iri nzira iri nyore yokubuda nayo muzvinetso zveroorano. Chii, ipapoka, chiri nzira iri nani yokupedza nayo misiano yeroorano?

[Mashoko Omuzasi]

[Mufananidzo uri papeji 7]

Vakaroorana nhasi kazhinji kazhinji havagoni kukurukurirana