Ukata—Kutambura Kwakavanda
UNOGONA kuvaziva muboka here? Hunooneka pazviso zvavo here? Apo vanokukwazisa, kunyemwerera kwavo kuchahufukidza here? Unogona kuziva kupfurikidza nokufamba kwavo, chimiro chavo here? Cherekedza murume akura akagara oga pabhenji romupaka kana kuti mhandara iri yoga mumuyuziyemu yemifananidzo yakanyorwa—vanotambudzwa noukata here? Cherekedza zvizvarwa zvitatu zvinomirirwa naamai, mwanasikana, uye muzukuru vari kufamba munzvimbo ine zvitoro. Vanoratidzika kuva vanofara zvakakwana, asi unogona kuva nechokwadi here? Rangarira vokubasa biyako. Ungavaziva savanhu vanofara vane mhuri dzinoitira hanya uye vane mari inowanwa yakakwana kuvatsigira zvakanaka. Bva, kunogona here kuva kuti mumwe wavo angagona kutaura zvirokwazvo kuti, “Ndine ukata”? Uye ndedzipi dziri bviro dzowechiduku uya anofara, ane mufaro achiva neukata? Mhinduro kumibvunzo iyoyi dzingakushamisa.
“Ukata” hunorondedzerwa neWebster’s Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary so“hunoparira kunzwika kwokusafara kana kuti kusuruvara.” Kunzwa kwokushaiwa chimwe chinhu, kwokusava nechinhu mukati, uye hakuzivikanwi nguva dzose muchitarisiko chokunze chomumwe munhu. Mumwe munzveri anoti: “Munzanga yedu, ukata ndichakavanzika chatinovanza—pane dzimwe nguva kwatiri timene. Ukata hune chiratidzo chakabatanidzwa nahwo. Kune kufungidzira mumurangariro wavose kwokuti kana une ukata, inofanira kuva mhaka yako umene. Nezvisizvo, zvamazvirokwazvo waizova neshamwari dzakawanda, handizvo here?” Pane dzimwe nguva ikoku kunogona kuva kwechokwadi, zvikurukuru kana tichikarira kana kuti kuraira zvakawanda kune vamwe kupfuura zvine mufungo.
Vakadzi Vane Ukata
Nyanzvi dzinoratidzika kuva dzinobvuma kuti vakadzi—zvikurukuru vakadzi vakaroorwa—vamazera ose vanokarira zvakawanda muupenyu kupfuura varume. Nenzira inonzwisisika, chirikadzi, vakadzi vakachatanura, uye vakadzi vakura vasina kuroorwa pane dzimwe nguva vane ukata. Asi zvakadiniko navakadzi vanoratidzika kuva vakaroorwa nenzira inofadza vane mhuri? Rangarira, somuenzaniso, uku kuchema kwomudzidzisi wokuchikoro ane makore 40 okukura: “Handina nguva yeshamwari; ndinoshaya iyoyo zvikuru. Asi ndinonzwa ndisina kusununguka kunyange kutaura izvozvo. Ndinogona sei kunyunyuta pamusoro pokuva ndine ukata . . . ? Pashure pokurangarira zvose, ndine roorano inoshamisa, vana vakanaka, musha wakaisvonaka, basa randinoda. Ndinodada nezvandakapedza. Asi chimwe chinhu chinoshaikwa.”
Kunyange zvazvo vakadzi vangada zvirokwazvo varume vavo ndokuzvipira kwavari ndokuva nokuita kwakafanana kubva kuvakwanyina vavo, rudo rwakadaro harugutsi harwo zvinodikanwa zvavo zvose zvoushamwari. Mudzidzisi wokuchikoro anokorwa mashoko pamusoro apa anotsanangura, kuti: “Kunyange zvazvo murume wangu ari shamwari yangu yakanakisisa, hakutsivi kusava neshamwari dzakanaka dziri vakadzi. Varume vanganzwa, asi vakadzi vanoteerera. Murume wangu haadi kuziva kuti ndakurirwa sei. Anoda kukurumidza kuita chiito ndokupedza chinetso chacho. Asi shamwari dzangu dziri vakadzi dzichandirega ndichitaura pamusoro pacho. Uye pane dzimwe nguva ndinongoda kutaura chete.”
Apo mukadzi anorasikirwa nomudiwa kupfurikidza norufu kana kuti chatanuro, vhiringidziko yake yomurangariro ingava huru. Ukata hunovamba. Chirikadzi iri kuchema kana kuti akachatanura haafaniri bedzi kutendeukira kumhuri yake neshamwari nokuda kwetsigiro asi anofanira kutendeukirawo mukati kusimba rake amene kuti achinjire kuchinhu chaichoicho chitsva. Kunyange zvazvo kurasikirwa kwake kuchava nguva dzose rutivi rwoupenyu hwake, anofanira kuziva kuti hakugoni kubvumirwa kuva mhinganidzo yokupfuurira noupenyu hwake. Nyanzvi dzakawana kuti avo vane hunhu hwakasimba zvikuru vangakurira kazhinji kazhinji ukata hwavo nokukurumidza zvikuru kupfuura vamwe.
Pane kusiana kwomurangariro pamusoro pokuti ndiani ane kurwadziwa kukuru zvikuru—chirikadzi kana kuti akachatanurwa. Magazini inonzi 50 Plus yakashuma, kuti: “Nguva ipi kana ipi yatinokoka vanhu vakachatanurwa mumapoka edu okutsigirwa kwechirikadzi, mativi maviri anopedzisira ave kutaura pamusoro pokuti kurwadziwa kwaani kwakakura zvikuru. Munhu akafirwa nomurume anoti, ‘Iwe, asi mukwanyina wako mupenyu,’ nepo akachatanurwa achati, ‘Iwe, hauna kurambwa somunhu oga zvandakaitwa. Hauna kunzwa kwokukundikana.’”
Varume Vane Ukata
Apo kunouya kuukata, varume havagoni kuganza nezvokuva vakasimba zvikuru pavaviri vakadzi navarume. “Varume vanotarisira zvinhu mumuviri zvikuru kupfuura mumurangariro,” akadaro Anne Studner, nyanzvi yepurogiramu yeWidowed Persons Service of AARP (American Association of Retired Persons). “Vakadzi vachataura vataurazve nhau yacho, asi varume vachaedza kuroorazve panzvimbo pokubata nokusuruvara.” Vapi vezano vari vanhurume vangapedza nguva yakati navarume vakafirwa vasati vavamba zvishoma nezvishoma kukurukura mirangariro yavo.
Nyanzvi dzakawana kuti, kusafanana navakadzi, varume vanotsvaka ushamwari hwomukadzi wokuvimba naye panzvimbo pomurume. Dr. Ladd Wheeler, nyanzvi pamusoro poukata paUniversity of Rochester, anozivisa kuti vanhurume havavimbani zvakakwana zvikuru kuti vanzwe vachibatanidzwa mumurangariro. “Kudikanwa kwokupukunyuka kuva uri woga kwomumurangariro pashure pokurasikirwa nomudzimai, nokukurukura neshamwari iri munhukadzi kunovapo pashure, kungabetserawo kutsanangura chikonzero nei varume vachiroorazve chaizvoizvo nokukurumidza zvikuru kwazvo pashure pokufirwa nomudzimai kana kuti chatanuro kupfuura vakadzi.”—Magazini inonzi 50 Plus.
Vaduku Vane Ukata
Kune zvikonzero zvakawanda nei vana nepwere dzichiva dzine ukata—kazhinji kazhinji zvakafanana neizvo zvinotapura vanhu vakura. Kutamira kunzvimbo itsva nokusiya shamwari; kusadiwa nevomukirasi biyako muchikoro chitsva; migariro yekare yorudzidziso neyetsika; chatanuro mumusha; kunzwa kwokusadiwa navabereki; kurambwa nevane mitezo yokubereka nayo yakasiana—zvinhu zvakadaro zvinokosha sezvinhu zvinobetsera muukata.
Vaduku zvikuru vanoda mumwe munhu wokugoverana naye mibato yavo yokutamba. Vanoda tsigiro nenzwisiso. Vanoda chidakadaka nokusimbiswa kwokukosha kwavo vamene. Vanofanira kuziva kuti vamwe vachava vakavimbika navanovimbwa navo. Apo vanenge vachidiwa, vanonzwa vakachengeteka uye vanodzidzawo kuratidza rudo kuvamwe. Idzi tsigiro dzoushamwaridzani dzingabva mumanyuko akasiana-siana—mhuri, vaenzani, uye kunyange mhuka.
Vose vari vaviri vadzidzi vari vanhurume navanhukadzi, kubvira pagiredhi rokutangisisa kusvikira kukoreji, kazhinji kazhinji vanotambura mwero mumwe chetewo woukata, kakawanda hunoparirwa nokusagamuchirwa navaenzani vavo. “Ndinonzwa zvakashata nemhaka yokuti ndiri ndoga uye handitauri,” akachema kudaro mumwe mudzidzi ari munhukadzi wechikoro chapamusoro. “Ndinoteerera mudzidzisi chete, kuita basa rangu rinoitirwa kumba uye ndizvo zvoga. Apo kunenge kune nguva yokusununguka, ndinogara ipapo chete ndokunyora mifananidzo kana kuti chimwe chinhu. Munhu ari wose ari kutaura kune mumwe nomumwe, asi hakuna munhu anotaura kwandiri. . . . Ndinoziva kuti handigoni kurega kukurukura nokusingaperi. Pari zvino, ndizvo zvoga zvandinogona kuita.”
Mhaka yacho, zvisinei, nguva dzose haigoni kunzi ndeyekuregeredza kana kuti kushora kwavamwe vanhu. Munhu angava nezvinetso zvomufambiro kana kuti zvoushamwaridzani, zvakadai sokuva anonyara zvikuru, anotapurika, uye anokurumidzira zvikuru uye achiva nechinetso kuwirirana navaenzani vake. Kuremara kunogona kuitawo basa guru mukuparira pwere dzamazera ose kutambura ukata kutoti dzakadaro dziri dzakasimba nedzine ushamwari.
Kudikanwa Kwokuzvibetsera Umene
Mudzidzisi wezvoutano Dolores Delcoma weCal State Fullerton akazivisa zvokwadi inokosha apo akatsinhira pamusoro pokuedza kwomunhu kurwisa ukata: “Nhamburiko yacho inofanira kubva mukati make. Pakupedzisira anofanira kuziva chinetso chake nemhaka yokuti pasinei zvapo nokuti vanhu vanoedza kubetsera zvikuru sei, munhu bedzi anogona kumubetsera kuva ane ushamwari ndiye amene.”
Avo vanozviomesera vamene kugadziridza vanoziviswa naDr. Warren Jones savanhu vakakombamira kuukata. “Ava vanhu nokusaziva vanoita zvinhu zvinovadzivisa kunzwa vari pedyo navamwe. Vamwe havazivi nzira yokuteerera nayo, uye vanodzora kurukurirano. Vanokombamira kuva vanotsoropodza zvikuru vamwe naivo vamene; vanobvunza mibvunzo mishomanene zvikuru, uye kazhinji kazhinji vanoparadza ushamwari kupfurikidza nokutaura zvinhu zvenhando kana kuti zvisingafarirwi.”
Mukuwedzera kuvanhu vakadaro, zvikurukuru avo vasina kuzviremekedza, kune vamwe vasina mano oushamwaridzani anodikanwa kuti vawirirane navamwe. Nezvavo, nyanzvi yezvokurapa Evelyn Moschetta anoti: “Vanhu vane ukata havanzwi zvakanaka zvikuru pamusoro pavo vamene. Vachikarira kurambwa, havatamburiri kusvasvavirira.”
Mukupesana nouchenjeri hunogamuchirwa navose, zvisinei, vanzveri vakawana kuti vakadzi vakwegura navarume vanotambura ukata zvishomanene kupfuura zvinoita vanhu vaduku. Havana chokwadi chechikonzero nei. Vakawanawo kuti apo ukata hunotamburwa navakweguru, kuri zvikuru nemhaka yokusava neshamwari kupfuura kusava nehama. “Hakusati kuri kuti ukama hwemhuri haukoshi kuvanhu vakura. Vanotendeukira kumhuri nokuda kworubatsiro. Asi vanogona kuva nevakawanda vemhuri vokuvabatsira, uye vanongonzwa vane ukata kana vasina shamwari.”
Kudikanwa Kweshamwari Dzapedyo
Nokuda kwavanhu vamazera ose, shamwari dzapedyo pane dzimwe nguva dzinogutsa chinodikanwa kupfuura icho mhuri nehama dzokunyama dzinogona kugovera. Vanhu vanoda shamwari, shamwari yapedyo, iyo vangavimba nayo kana kuti kuzvizivisa vamene kwairi pasina kutya kukuvadzwa. Pasina shamwari yakadaro, ukata hungawedzera. Munyori wenhau weAmerica Ralph Waldo Emerson akanyora nezveshamwari yakadaro, kuti: ‘Shamwari ndeiyo yandinogona kufunga pamberi payo zvinonzwika.’ Munhu akadaro ndeanovimbwa naye waunogona kuzvizivisa umene kwaari chose chose pasina kutya kufumurwa kana kuti funganyo yokuti zvakavanzika zvako zvichashandiswa kukunyomba kana kuti kusakisa vamwe kukuseka. Vamwe avo vaungave wakarangarira kuva shamwari dzakavimbika vangave vasina kurarama nguva dzose mukuwirirana nechivimbo chako, asi kune “shamwari” iyo isinga“[zivisi, NW] zvakavanzika zvomumwe,” iyo ino“namatira kupfuura hama.”—Zvirevo 18:24; 25:9.
Kune avo vanoda kuita savakaoma navasingadi munhu. Vanotaura kuti vanozvimirira uye vanozvitarisira. Kunyanguvezvo, kazhinji kazhinji vanoungana mumapoka evanonzi vakaoma. Vana vane mapoka, vanovaka dzimba dzamapoka, vanoumba zvikwata; pwere dzakura dzine zvikwata zvemidhudhudhu; matsotsi ane mapoka asingazovi vacheri; avo vane zvinetso zvokunwa vanokumbanira Alcoholics Anonymous; avo vanorwisana nokuita muviri vanokumbanira Weight Watchers. Vanhu vanoda kuva mumapoka; vanoungana pamwe chete nokuda kwetsigiro. Kunyange mukusuruvara kwavo, vanoda kuva muboka. Uye mukubvumirana vanovenga kuva noukata. Chii chinogona kuitwa pamusoro poukata?
[Mashoko okukwezva vaverengi ari papeji 26]
“Vanhu vane ukata havanzwi zvakanaka zvikuru pamusoro pavo vamene”