Vechiduku Vanobvunza Kuti . . .

Nei Shamwari Yangu Yakandirwadzisa?

“Ndaiva neshamwari dzinoverengeka . . . Zvadaro dzakatanga kushamwaridzana nomumwe musikana uye pandaienda padziri, dzaibva dzanyarara. . . . Dzakatanga kusandibatanidza pane zvose zvadzaiita. Zvakandirwadza chaizvo.”—Karen.a

ZVINOGONA kuitika kushamwari dzepamwoyo. Rimwe zuva vanenge vari mukombe nechirongo; zuva rinotevera racho havachadi kana kutaudzana. “Shamwari inofanira kuva munhu waunogona kuvimba naye, munhu waunogona kuudza chero chii zvacho chaunoda,” anodaro Nora ane makore 17. Zvisinei, dzimwe nguva shamwari yako yepamwoyo ingatanga kuita kunge muvengi wako mukuru kwazvo.

Ushamwari Huri Munjodzi

Chii chinoita kuti ushamwari hwakanaka huchinje kuva hwakaipa? Kana ari Sandra, dambudziko racho rakatanga apo shamwari yake Megan yakambokumbira bhurauzi rake raanoda zvikuru. “Paakazoridzosa,” anodaro Sandra, “rakanga rasviba uye rabvaruka zvishoma paruoko. Haana kana kumbozvitaura, sokunge kuti ndaisazozviona.” Sandra akanzwa sei nokusarangarira kwaMegan? “Ndakashatirwa zvisingaiti,” anodaro. “Zvakaita sokuti akanga asina basa nezvinhu zvangu . . . kana kuti manzwiro andinoita.”

Kurwadziwa kunogona kuvapowo kana shamwari yepamwoyo ikaita kana kutaura chimwe chinhu chinokunyadzisa. Izvi zvakaitika kuna Cindy apo akaudza boka romukirasi make kuti akanga asina bhuku raakanga ati arava nokuda kwemushumo wake webhuku. Pakarepo, shamwari yake Kate yakatanga kumutuka. “Akandinyadzisa pamberi pedzimwe shamwari dzedu,” anoyeuka kudaro Cindy. “Ndakamutsamwira zvikuru. Zvinhu zvakanyatsochinja kubvira ipapo.”

Dzimwe nguva kusawirirana kunovapo kana shamwari ikatanga kutamba nedzimwe shamwari itsva. “Ndaiva neimwe shamwari yakazova mumwe weboka iri,” anodaro Bonnie ane makore 13. “Yakatanga kusada kutamba neni.” Kana kuti ungatanga kuona dzimwe vavariro dzisina kunaka dzeshamwari yako. “Ini naBobby taiva shamwari dzepamwoyo,” anodaro Joe, ane makore 13. “Ndaifunga kuti aindifarira nemhaka younhu hwangu, asi ndakazoona kuti aindifarira nemhaka bedzi yokuti baba vangu vanoita basa rokushambadzira saka nguva dzose vaiwana matikiti okuenda kumitambo nokunzvimbo dzinoridzwa mimhanzi.” Joe anonzwa sei zvino? Anoti: “Handifi ndakavimba naBobby zvakare!”

Mune zvimwe zviitiko shamwari ingaudza vamwe vanhu mashoko awaida kuti isaudza munhu. Somuenzaniso, Allison akaudza shamwari yake Sara nezvokusawirirana kwake nomumwe wavaishanda naye. Mangwana acho Sara akazvidura pamberi chaipo pewavaishanda naye wacho. “Handina kumbobvira ndazvifunga kuti aizova zimwaya akadaro!” anodaro Allison. “Ndakatsamwa kwazvo.” Zvakafanana zvakaitika kuna Rachel ane makore 16 apo shamwari yake yepamwoyo yakataura mashoko avakanga vataura pauviri hwavo. “Ndakanzwa ndanyadziswa uye ndafumurwa,” anodaro Rachel. “Ndakataura nechomumwoyo ndikati, ‘Ndichazovimba nayezve sei?’”

Ushamwari hunogona kutsigira mupfungwa, kunyanya kana muine hanya nomumwe nomumwe, muchivimbana nokuremekedzana. Asi, kunyange shamwari dzepamwoyo dzinogona kumbotsamwisana. Bhaibheri rinotaura zvakajeka kuti: “Munhu une shamwari zhinji unoparadzwa.” (Zvirevo 18:24) Pasinei nechinokonzera, zvinogona kurwadza zvikuru kana ukaziva kuti wakafumurwa neshamwari yako. Nei izvi zvichiitika?

Chinokonzera Kuti Ushamwari Hupere

Hapana ukama hwavanhu—hungave hwevakuru kana hwevaduku—husina matambudziko. Inga wani muapostora wechiKristu Jakobho akanyora kuti: “Tose tinokanganisa kakawanda. Kana munhu asingakanganisi pakutaura, iyeyu munhu akakwana, anokwanisawo kudzora muviri wake wose.” (Jakobho 3:2, 1 Johani 1:8) Sezvo munhu wose achikanganisa, zvinofanira kutarisirwa kuti pane imwe nguva shamwari ichaita kana kutaura chimwe chinhu chinokurwadza. Ungatoyeuka imwe nguva iyo wakarwadzisawo munhu iyeye. (Muparidzi 7:22) “Tose hatina kukwana, uye tichatsamwisana pane imwe nguva,” anodaro Lisa ane makore 20.

Kunze kwokusakwana, panewo zvimwe zvinhu zvingavepo. Yeuka, sezvaunokura mumuviri nomupfungwa, zvaunoda—neizvo zveshamwari dzako—zvinowanzochinja. Saka, vanhu vaviri vaiwirirana mune zvakawanda pane imwe nguva vangatanga kusawirirana zvishoma nezvishoma. Mumwe achiri kuyaruka akataura nezveshamwari yake achiti: “Hatichanyanyi kuridzirana runhare uye patinotaura, hatichanyanyi kubvumirana pane chinhu chipi kana chipi.”

Chokwadi, kusawirirana mukufamba kwenguva kunoitika. Asi nei vamwe vanhu vachirwadzisa shamwari dzavo? Kazhinji zvinokonzerwa negodo. Somuenzaniso, zvingava kuti shamwari yako inotanga kukuvenga nemhaka yechipo chako kana kuti zvinhu zvaunogona kuita. (Enzanisa naGenesi 37:4; 1 Samueri 18:7-9.) Sezvinotaura Bhaibheri, “godo rinoodza mafupa.” (Zvirevo 14:30) Rinounza shanje uye kukakavara. Chipi kana chipi chinokonzera, chii chaungaita kana shamwari ikakurwadzisa?

Kugadzirisa Zvinhu

“Kutanga,” anodaro Rachel, “ndaizoongorora munhu wacho ndoedza kuona kana zvaakaita akazviita namaune kana kuti kwete.” Kana ukakanganisirwa nezvakataurwa kana kuitwa zvaunofunga kuti zvakakunyadzisa, usakurumidza kuita chimwe chinhu nemhaka yokuti wagumbuka. Asi, shivirira uye funga nezvenhau yacho. (Zvirevo 14:29) Kuita chimwe chinhu wakatsamwa kuchaita kuti zvinhu zvive nani here? Wafunga nezvenhau yacho, ungasarudza kuteerera zano riri pana Pisarema 4:4 rinoti: “[“Tsamwai,” NW] murege kutadza; tauriranai nemwoyo yenyu panhovo dzenyu, muti mwii.” Zvadaro ungasarudza kurega ‘rudo ruchifukidza zvivi zvizhinji.’—1 Petro 4:8.

Zvisinei, zvakadini kana ukafunga kuti haukwanisi kungokanganwa zvakaitwa zvacho zvinorwadza? Kana zvakadaro, zvingava nani kuti utaure nomunhu wacho. “Garai pasi, muchingova vaviri, motaura zvakaitika,” anodaro Frank ane makore 13. “Kana mukasadaro, muchazvondana.” Susan, ane makore 16, akafungawo zvakafanana. “Chinhu chakanakisisa chokuita,” anodaro, “kuvaudza kuti waivimba navo asi vakakugumbura.” Jacqueline anosarudzawo kugadzirisa zvinhu nomunhu wacho. “Ndinoedza kuti zvinhu zvibude pachena,” anodaro. “Kazhinji, munhu wacho anogona kubuda pachena zvokuti munogona kugadzirisa zvinhu nokukurumidza.”

Chokwadi, unofanira kungwarira kuti usaenda kushamwari yako wakaitsvukisira meso. Bhaibheri rinoti: “Munhu, une hasha, unomutsa kukakavara; asi une mwoyo murefu unonyaradza gakava.” (Zvirevo 15:18) Saka mirira kusvika wadzikama usati waedza kugadzirisa mamiriro ezvinhu. “Pakutanga unenge wakashatirwa zvikuru,” anodaro Lisa, “asi unofanira kuzvidzikamisa. Mirira kusvika usisina kunyanya kushatirirwa munhu wacho. Zvadaro unogona kuenda kumunhu wacho mogara pasi ndokutaurirana zvinhu murugare.”

Shoko guru nderokuti “murugare.” Yeuka, chinangwa chako hachisi chokuti utuke shamwari yako. Ndechokuti mugadzirise zvinhu murugare, kana zvichiita, kuti murambe muri shamwari. (Pisarema 34:14) Saka taura zvichibva pamwoyo. “Unogona kuti, ‘Ndiri shamwari yako, newe uri shamwari yangu; asi ndinongoda kuziva zvakaitika,’” anodaro Lisa. “Unofanira kuziva chakakonzera zvakaitwa. Kana wadaro, hazvizonyanyi kunetsa kugadzirisa zvinhu.”

Zvechokwadi zvaizova zvakaipa zvikuru kuedza kudzorera, zvimwe nokuita makuhwa nezvomunhu wacho uye kuedza kuti vamwe vakutsigire. Muapostora wechiKristu Pauro akanyorera vaRoma kuti: “Musadzorera chakaipa nechakaipa kune munhu upi noupi.” (VaRoma 12:17) Chaizvoizvo, pasinei nokuti wakarwadziswa zvakadini, kudzorera kunoita kuti zvinhu zvinyanye kuoma. “Kudzorera hakuna kufanira,” anodaro Nora, “nokuti hamuzofi makava shamwarizve.” Kusiyana naizvozvo, anowedzera kuti kuita zvose zvaunogona kuti muvezve shamwari “zvinokuita kuti unzwe uri munhu ari nani.”

Asi zvakadini kana shamwari yako isiri kuda kuti muve shamwari zvekare? Kana zvakadaro, yeuka kuti ushamwari hunouya pakawanda. “Haisi shamwari yose ichava shamwari yepamwoyo,” anodaro Judith McCleese, anopa mazano kumhuri. “Dzidza kuti unogona kuva neukama hwakasiyana-siyana.” Kunyange zvakadaro, unogona kunyaradzwa nechokwadi chokuti waita zvaunogona kuti muve norugare zvekare. Muapostora Pauro akanyora kuti: “Kana zvichibvira, sokugona kwenyu, ivai norugare nevanhu vose.”—VaRoma 12:18.

Kusawirirana kuchavapo kunyange pakati peshamwari dzepamwoyo. Kana ukakwanisa kuita kuti kusawirirana kusaparadze maonere aunoita vamwe vanhu kana kuti kuzviremekedza kwako, unenge wava kufambira mberi kusvika pakuva munhu mukuru. Kunyange zvazvo vamwe vangave ‘vachiparadza,’ Bhaibheri rinotisimbisira kuti kune ‘shamwari inonamatira kupfuura hama.’—Zvirevo 18:24.

[Mashoko Omuzasi]

[Mufananidzo uri papeji 31]

Munogona kuva shamwari zvekare nokutaura zvakaitika