Imba Yakakamuka​—Kukanganiswa Kunoitwa Vachiri Kuyaruka Nokurambana

VANACHIPANGAMAZANO panyaya dzemhuri vaifunga kuti vaiziva mazano okupa. Vaipa vabereki vainetsana newavakaroorana naye zano rokuti, ‘Munofanira kuisa pfungwa pakufara kwenyu,’ uye vaibva vawedzera kuti: ‘Musanetseka nezvevana. Vakasimba. Zviri nyore kuti vatsungirire kurambana kwenyu pane kugara nevabereki vaviri vasingawirirani!’

Asi vamwe vanachipangamazano vaichimboti kurambana ndiko kwakanyanya kunaka iye zvino vachinja mafungiro. Vava kuti, ‘Kurambana ihondo. Hakuna wakusingakuvadzi; kunokuvadzawo vana.’

Kufungidzira Kuti Kurambana Kuri Nyore

Zvinotevera zvingava nyaya yepaTV inoomesa mbabvu. Baba namai vanorambana. Amai vanotora vana vobva varoorwa nemurume akafirwa ane vana vakewo. Vhiki imwe pashure peimwe, mhuri iyi isinganyatsopindirani inosangana nemamiriro ezvinhu asingaiti uye akaoma, asi achigadziriswa mumaminitsi 30 chete vanhu vachingoseka zvavo.

Zvichida nyaya yepaTV yakadai yaizosetsa chaizvo. Asi kurambana chaiko hakuna kudaro, kunorwadza. M. Gary Neuman akanyora mubhuku rake rinonzi Emotional Infidelity kuti: “Kurambana kunosanganisira kuendesana kumatare. Mubereki mumwe chete anenge amhan’arira mumwe wake. Paunenge wangosarudza kuti murambane, unenge wava kuita kuti usava nemasimba okutarisira mwana wako. Unenge usisakwanisiwo kusarudza zvauchaita nemari yako, uye zvimwe kunyange kwauchagara. Mungagadzirisa nyaya dzenyu kudare, asi pamwe zvingasadaro. Pakupedzisira, mutongi asingakuzivi ndiye angazokuudza kuti uchaona mwana wako kakawanda sei uye kuti pamari yako uchasara neyakawanda sei. Hazvifadzi kuti mutongi iyeye haafungi chaizvo sezvaunoita.”

Kakawanda, kurambana kunongounza matambudziko akasiyana. Chokwadi, zvose zvine chokuita nemararamiro ako uye nyaya dzemari zvingachinja​—uye zvingangochinja zvichitoipa. Uyewo kurambana kunokanganisa vana.

Kurambana Uye Zvakunoita Kune Vachiri Kuyaruka

Kurambana kungakuvadza vana, pasinei nezera ravo. Vamwe vanoti vana vanege vati yarukei vari nani. Vanofunga kuti vana vati yarukei vava kuziva zvavari kuita uye vanenge vachitogadzirira kuzobva pane vabereki. Zvisinei, vanotsvakurudza mashoko vanoona zvazvakaipira. Vakaona kuti pamusana pemamiriro ezvinhu iwayo, kurambana kunokanganisa zvakanyanya vaya vati yarukei.a Funga nezvezvinotevera:

◼ Vana pavanenge vati yarukei, vava pedyo nokuva vanhu vakuru, vanonzwa vachitya chaizvo, zvichida kupfuura zvavaiita vachiri vana vaduku. Usanyengedzwa nokuda kwavanoita rusununguko, vana vati yarukei vanoda rubatsiro rwemhuri yakatsiga kupfuura zvavaiita kare.

◼ Panguva chaiyo iyo vati yarukei vanenge vachidzidza kuva noushamwari hunoratidza kuti vakura, kurambana kunovadzidzisa kusava nechokwadi nezvinhu zvinokosha zvakadai sokuvimba vamwe, uye kuratidza rudo. Gare gare, vava vanhu vakuru, vangatozorega kuva neukama nevamwe vanhu.

◼ Kunyange zvazvo vana vemazera ose kakawanda vachiratidza kurwadziwa kwavo nezvavanoita, vaya vati yarukei vangangozviita nenzira dzinokuvadza, dzinosanganisira unhubu, kudhakwa nedoro, uye kushandisa zvisina kunaka zvimwe zvinhu zvinodhaka.

Izvi hazvirevi kuti kana vabereki vevana vari kuyaruka vakarambana, vana vacho vachatokundikana. Vanogona kubudirira, kunyanya kana vaine ukama hwakanaka nevabereki vavo vari vaviri.b Vamwe vangataura kuti kurambana, ‘kwakanakira vana’ kana kuti kuchagumisa kusawirirana kwevaviri vakaroorana, asi ikoko kushaya njere. Kutaura zvazviri, vamwe vanotozoona kuti pashure pokurambana vanova nezvakawanda zvokuita nemumwe wavo wavaiti haaiti, kupfuura vasati varambana uye izvozvo vachizviita panyaya dzinokurumidza kumutsa hasha dzakadai semendenenzi kana kuti kutarisira mwana. Muzviitiko zvakadaro, kurambana hakupedzi matambudziko emhuri; kunongoita kuti aende kumatare.

Chechitatu Chingaitwa

Zvakadini kana imba yenyu iine dambudziko uye wafunga zvokuti murambane? Nyaya ino yataura zvikonzero zvine simba zvokuti ufungezve nezvazvo. Kurambana hakupedzi matambudziko ose evakaroorana.

Asi usarasika: Chinopedza matambudziko acho hakusi kungoramba uchitsungirira. Pane zvimwe zvaungaita—Kana imba yenyu iri mudambudziko, wadii kuvavarira kuvandudza zvinhu? Usamhanyira kuramba pfungwa iyi nokutaura kuti matambudziko enyu haagadzirisiki. Zvibvunze mibvunzo iyi:

◼ ‘Unhu hupi hwakatanga kuita kuti ndide mumwe wangu? Unhu ihwohwo hahusisipo here?’—Zvirevo 31:10, 29.

◼ ‘Manzwiro andaiita tisati taroorana angamutsiridzwa here?’—Rwiyo rwaSoromoni 2:2; 4:7.

◼ ‘Pasinei nezvinoitwa nemumwe wangu, ini ndingaitei kuti ndishandise mazano ari pamapeji 3 kusvika ku9 emagazini ino?’—VaRoma 12:18.

◼ ‘Ndingatsanangurira mumwe wangu here (takatarisana kana kuti ndichiita zvokunyora) zvandinoda kuita kuti ukama hwedu huvandudzike?’—Jobho 10:1.

◼ ‘Tingagara pasi neshamwari yati kurei ingatibatsira kuva nezvinangwa zvine musoro zvokuti tivandudze imba yedu here?’—Zvirevo 27:17.

Bhaibheri rinoti: “Munhu ane njere anofunga nezvenhanho dzake.” (Zvirevo 14:15) Mashoko iwayo haangoshandi chete pakusarudza wokuroorana naye asiwo pakufunga zvokuita kana ukama hwevakaroorana hwava kukanganisika. Zvechokwadi, sezvataurwa papeji 9 yemagazini ino, mhuri dzinobudirira dzinosanganawo nematambudziko, asi chinodzisiyanisa nedzimwe kugadzirisa kwadzinoita matambudziko acho.

Somuenzaniso: Ngatitii watanga rwendo rurefu nemotokari. Uchatosangana nematambudziko munzira, angasanganisira mamiriro okunze akaipa, kuwandisa kwemotokari, uye kumiswa nemapurisa. Pamwe pacho ungatorasika. Uchaitei? Unodzokera here kwawabva kana kuti unotsvaka nzira yokukunda nayo chipingamupinyi chacho wopfuurira nerwendo? Pazuva romuchato wako, wakatanga rwendo rwaitozova nematambudziko, nokuti Bhaibheri rinotaura kuti “vaya vanoroora vacharwadziwa uye vachashungurudzwa.” (1 VaKorinde 7:28, The New English Bible) Nyaya haisi pakuti matambudziko achamuka here asi pakuti paachamuka muchaagadzirisa sei. Ungawana here nzira yokukunda chipingamupinyi chacho wopfuurira? Kunyange kana uchifunga kuti zveimba yenyu hazvichaiti, uchaedza here kuwana rubatsiro?—Jakobho 5:14.

Urongwa hwaMwari

Kuroorana urongwa hwaMwari husingafaniri kuonekwa sohwenhando. (Genesisi 2:24) Matambudziko paanoita seasingakundiki, yeuka pfungwa dzakurukurwa munyaya ino.

1. Edza kumutsidzira rudo rwawaimbova narwo.—Rwiyo rwaSoromoni 8:6.

2. Sarudza zvaungaita kuti imba yenyu ive nani, wobva wazviita.—Jakobho 1:22.

3. Udza mumwe wako zvakajeka asi uchimuremekedza, makatarisana kana kuti uchiita zvokunyora, zvaunofunga kuti zvinofanira kuvandudzwa paukama hwenyu.—Jobho 7:11.

4. Tsvaka rubatsiro. Vamwe vanogona kukubatsira kuponesa imba yako!

[Mashoko Omuzasi]

[Bhokisi/Mufananidzo uri papeji 11]

‘IYE ZVINO NDICHABUDIRIRA’

Kutsvakurudza kunoitwa kunoratidza kuti kuroora kana kuti kuroorwa kechipiri wamborambana nemumwe wako kune mikana yakakura yokukundikana kupfuura kekutanga, uye kuroora kana kuroorwa kechitatu kune mikana yakatowandisa. M. Gary Neuman anotaura mubhuku rake rinonzi Emotional Infidelity, chimwe chezvikonzero zvacho. Anonyora kuti, “Kana ukava nematambudziko paunoroora kana kuroorwa kekutanga, nyaya haisi pakuti wakatadza kusarudza wokuroorana naye. Ine chokuita newe. Wakadanana nemunhu uyu. Wakashanda naye kuti pave nezviripo kana kuti zvisipo.” Neuman anogumisa kutii? “Zviri nani kubvisa dambudziko racho, woramba uine mumwe wako pane kuramba mumwe wako, wochengeta dambudziko racho.”

[Bhokisi riri papeji 13]

KANA MUKARAMBANA

Bhaibheri rinobvuma kuti mamiriro ezvinhu akanyanyisa angaita kuti vanhu varambane.c Kana zvakadaro mumhuri yenyu, mungabatsira sei vana venyu vari kuyaruka kuti vatsungirire?

Udzai mwana wenyu ari kuyaruka zviri kuitika. Kana zvichiita, vabereki vacho vari vaviri vanofanira kudaro. Muri pamwe chete, udzai mwana wenyu ari kuyaruka kuti zvamasarudza zvokurambana hazvizochinji. Muvimbisei kuti handiye ane mhosva uye kuti mose muri vaviri mucharamba muchimuda.

Chiregai zvokurwisana—hondo yapera. Vamwe vabereki vanoramba vachirwisana nguva refu varambana. Sezvinotaurwa neimwe nyanzvi, vanenge “vakarambana maererano nemutemo asi vachiri varwi vanodanana vasina kukwanisa kubvumirana kuti pave nerugare.” Izvi hazvingoiti chete kuti vana vari kuyaruka vasava nevabereki vavo, Baba naAmai zvavanenge vachingogara vachirwisana, asi zvinovakurudzirawo kudhumanisa vabereki vacho misoro kuti vawane zvavanenge vachida. Somuenzaniso, mukomana angaudza amai vake kuti: “Baba vanondibvumira kudzoka kumba manheru pandinenge ndadira. Nei imi musingandibvumiri?” Vasingadi kuti mwanakomana wavo atize achienda “kumuvengi” wavo, Amai vacho vanobva vabvuma.

Rega mwana wako ari kuyaruka ataure zvaanofunga. Vari kuyaruka vangafunga kuti, ‘Kana vabereki vangu vakarega kudanana, vangaregawo kundida’ kana kuti ‘Kana vabereki vangu vakatyora mitemo, ini ndinoregererei kuityorawo?’ Ipa mwana wako mikana yakawanda yokuti ataure, kuitira kuti asatya uye kuti ugadzirise mafungiro ake. Asi ngwarira: Rega kutanga kuona mwana wako somunhu mukuru, wotsvaka kunyaradzwa naye. Iye haasi shamwari yokuvimba nayo.

Kurudzira mwana ari kuyaruka kuti ave neukama hwakanaka newawakanga wakaroorana naye. Munhu wawakarambana naye haasisiri mumwe wako asi achiri mubereki wemwana wako. Kutaura zvakaipa nezvake kunokuvadza. Bhuku rinonzi Teens in Turmoil—A Path to Change for Parents, Adolescents, and Their Families rinoti: “Kana vabereki vakasarudza kushandisa vana vavo sezvombo zvokuti varwisane nazvo muhondo yavo, vanofanira kutarisira kukohwa zvavanenge vadyara.”

Zvitarisire. Dzimwe nguva uchanzwa waremerwa. Asi usakanda mapfumo pasi. Gara uchiita zvinhu zvinoita kuti uve noutano. Kana uri muKristu, gara uchiita zvine chokuita nokunamata. Kuita izvozvo kuchabatsira iwe nemwana wako ari kuyaruka kuti murambe makatsiga.—Pisarema 18:2; Mateu 28:19, 20; VaHebheru 10:24, 25.

[Mashoko Omuzasi]

[Mufananidzo uri papeji 12]

Shandira kuita zvawakavimbisa pazuva romuchato wako

[Mufananidzo uri papeji 13]

Kana makanzi mose muchatarisira mwana wenyu ari kuyaruka, mukurudzire kuva neukama hwakanaka newawakanga wakaroorana naye