ʻEke ʻe he Toʻutupú
Ko e Hā ʻOku ʻIkai Saiʻia Ai ʻIate Au ʻa e Tamaiki Tangatá?
ʻOkú ne ʻiloʻi ʻoku ou manakoa koeʻuhi naʻá ku tala ange ʻoku saiʻia ʻiate au ʻa e tamaiki tangata kehé. Naʻá ne kata ʻi heʻeku tala ange ʻa e fakavalevale ʻa e niʻihi ʻo hoku ngaahi kaumeʻá. Pea ʻokú ne ʻiloʻi ʻoku ou ʻatamai lelei—kuó u fakatonutonuʻi ia ʻi ha ngaahi meʻa ʻe niʻihi naʻá ne leaʻaki. ʻOku ou fifili pe ko e hā hono fuoloa peá ne kole mai ke ma faialeá.
ʻOkú ne talavou, ka ʻokú ne hā ngali ʻaiʻainoaʻia! ʻOku ʻikai meimei ʻi ai haku faingamālie ke leaʻaki ha meʻa. Pea ʻi he taimi ʻoku ou lea aí, ʻokú ne fakatonutonuʻi au! ʻOku ou fiemaʻu pē ke mavahe ʻi he sio kiate iá.
ʻOKÚ KE hohaʻa ʻi he ʻikai manako ʻiate koe ʻa e tamaiki tangatá? ʻOku pehē ʻa e tamaiki fefine tokolahi, naʻa mo e faʻahinga ʻokú ke pehē ʻoku ʻikai haʻanau palopalemá! Ko e fakatātaá, ko Joanne. ʻOkú ne mata lelei, poto mo pōtoʻi lea. Neongo ia, ʻokú ne pehē: “ʻOku ou faʻa ongoʻi ʻoku ʻikai saiʻia ʻiate au ʻa e tamaiki tangatá. Ko e tokosiʻi naʻá ku saiʻia aí naʻa nau fakahaaʻi ha mahuʻingaʻia ʻiate au ʻi ha taimi ka ki mui ai naʻe ʻikai ʻaupito te nau toe talanoa mai kiate au!”
Ko e hā e ngaahi meʻa ʻoku saiʻia ai ʻa e tamaiki tangatá ʻi ha taʻahine? Ko e hā ʻoku ʻikai te nau saiʻia aí? ʻI he ʻikai tuku hifo koé, ko e hā ʻe lava ke ke fai ke tohoakiʻi mai ʻaki e tokanga ʻa ha talavou taau?
Meʻa ke Faí
● ʻIloʻi hoʻo fakakaukaú mo ho lotó. Ngalingali ʻokú ke ongoʻi manako lahi ange ʻi he tamaiki tangatá ʻi hoʻo hoko pē ʻo fuʻu fefiné. ʻOkú ke manako nai ʻo laka hake ʻi he tamasiʻi ʻe toko taha. ʻOku fakanatula pē ia. Ka ʻo kapau ʻokú ke pīkitai ki he ʻuluaki tamasiʻi ʻokú ke talavouʻia aí, te ke ʻi he tuʻunga fakatuʻutāmaki ai ʻi hono taʻofi ʻa hoʻo tupu fakaeongó mo fakalaumālié. ʻOku fiemaʻu ʻa e taimi ke fakatupulekina ai ʻa e ngaahi angaʻitangata leleí, ke ‘fakafoʻou ho ʻatamaí’ ki he ngaahi meʻa mahuʻingá, pea ke aʻusia ʻa e niʻihi ʻo hoʻo ngaahi taumuʻá tonu.—Loma 12:2; 1 Kolinito 7:36; Kolose 3:9, 10.
Ko e moʻoni ʻoku manako ʻa e tamaiki tangata tokolahi ʻi he tamaiki fefine kuo teʻeki ai ke nau maʻu ha tuipau mālohi pea ʻoku nau taʻetaukeí. Kae kehe, ko e tamaiki tangata ko iá ʻoku nau mahuʻingaʻia tefito pē ʻi he sino ʻo e taʻahiné, ʻo ʻikai ʻi hono tuʻunga ko ha tokotahá. Ko hono moʻoní, ko ha talavou mafamafatatau te ne kumi ki ha taʻahine ʻa ia ʻe hoamālie ʻa hono ʻulungaanga leleí mo iá.—Mātiu 19:6.
Meʻa ʻoku leaʻaki ʻe he tamaiki tangatá: “ʻOku ou saiʻia ʻi he taimi ʻoku malava ai ha taʻahine ʻo fai ha fakakaukau ʻiate ia pē, ʻi he hā ngali ʻokú ne maʻu ʻa e tuipau ko ha tokotaha ia ʻoku ʻi ai ʻene totonu pē ʻaʻana.”—James.
“Te u mahuʻingaʻia ʻi ha taʻahine ʻa ia ʻoku lava ke ne fakahaaʻi ia ʻi ha founga faitotonu mo anga-fakaʻapaʻapa pea ʻoku ʻikai te ne tui noaʻia ki he meʻa kotoa pē ʻoku ou leaʻakí. Tatau ai pē pe ʻoku talavou, ʻoku ʻikai te u ongoʻi fiemālie ʻi ha taʻahine ʻokú ne leaʻaki pē ʻa e meʻa ʻoku ou fie fanongo ki aí. ʻOku ou hohaʻa au ai!”—Darren.
“ʻOku ou ʻiloʻi ʻoku ou faʻa ʻuluaki saiʻia ʻi he tamaiki fefine talavoú. Ka ʻe lava ke mole vave ia kapau ʻoku ʻikai ha ngaahi taumuʻa papau mo ʻaonga ʻa e taʻahiné. ʻI he tafaʻaki ʻe tahá, kapau ʻokú ne ʻiloʻi ʻa e meʻa ʻoku totonu ke ne faí—tautefito kapau kuó ne ʻosi aʻusia ʻa e niʻihi ʻo ʻene ngaahi taumuʻá—ʻe lava ke ʻai ʻe he meʻa ko iá ke ne talavou ʻaupito.”—Damien.
● Fakatupulekina ʻa e fakaʻapaʻapa ki he niʻihi kehé. Hangē ko hoʻo fiemaʻu ke ʻofaʻi koé, ko e tamaiki tangata ʻokú ke ʻiloʻí ʻoku nau holi lahi ke fakaʻapaʻapaʻi kinautolu. ʻOku ʻikai hokonoa pē ʻa e pehē ʻe he Tohi Tapú ki he husepānití ʻoku totonu ke ne ʻofa ki hono uaifí pea ko e uaifí ʻoku totonu ke ne “fakaʻapaʻapa lahi” ki hono husepānití. (Efeso 5:33, NW) ʻI he fehoanaki mo e mahino ko ení, ko ha savea naʻe fai ki he kau talavou ʻe laui teau naʻe ʻiloʻi ai ko e peseti ʻe 60 tupu naʻa nau pehē naʻa nau fakamahuʻingaʻi ange ʻa e fakaʻapaʻapá ʻi he ʻofá. Laka hake he peseti ʻe 70 ʻo e kau tangata matuʻotuʻa naʻe fai ki ai ʻa e saveá naʻa nau fai ʻa e fili tatau.
Ko e fakaʻapaʻapá ʻoku ʻikai ʻuhinga iá ko e tukulolo—ʻa ia kuo pau ke ke tukuange ʻa hoʻo totonú ka ke maʻu ha fakakaukau kehe pea ke fakahaaʻi ia. (Senesi 21:10-12) Ka ko e anga hoʻo fakahaaʻi ʻa hoʻo fakakaukaú ʻoku ngalingali ʻe fakapapauʻi ai pe te ke talitekeʻi pe tohoakiʻi mai ha talavou. Kapau ʻokú ke hokohoko fakafepakiʻi pe fakatonutonuʻi ʻa e meʻa ʻokú ne leaʻakí, te ne ongoʻi nai ai ʻoku siʻi hoʻo fakaʻapaʻapa kiate iá. Ka, ʻo kapau ʻokú ke ʻiloʻi ʻa ʻene fakakaukaú pea fakamatala ki he meʻa ʻokú ke ʻiloʻi ʻoku taau ke fakahīkihikiʻí, ʻoku ngalingali ange ai te ne tali pea fakamahuʻingaʻi ʻa hoʻo fakakaukaú. Ko e moʻoni, ko ha talavou ʻiloʻilo te ne toe fakatokangaʻi pe ʻokú ke fakaʻapaʻapa ki he ngaahi mēmipa ʻo ho fāmilí mo e niʻihi kehé.a
Meʻa ʻoku leaʻaki ʻe he tamaiki tangatá: “ʻOku saiʻia ʻa e tamaiki tangatá ʻi he fakakaukau atu ʻoku mahuʻinga ki ha taha ʻenau fakakaukaú, tautefito ki ha taʻahine ʻoku nau saiʻia ai.”—Anthony.
“ʻOku ou tui ko e fakaʻapaʻapá ʻa e meʻa mahuʻinga taha ʻi he kamata ʻo ha vahaʻangatae. ʻE toki fakatupulekina nai ʻamui ʻa e ʻofá.”—Adrian.
“Kapau ʻoku lava ke fakahaaʻi ʻe ha taʻahine ha fakaʻapaʻapa kiate au, ʻoku ou ongoʻi ʻe lava ke ne ʻofa moʻoni ʻiate au.”—Mark.
● Vala taau, pea tauhi maʻu ʻa e tuʻunga lelei ʻo e fakamaʻá. Ko ho valá mo e teuteú ʻoku hangē ia ha sipika ʻokú ne fakamafola atu ʻa hoʻo fakakaukaú mo e tōʻongá. Ki muʻa fuoloa ke ke kamata talanoa ki ha tamasiʻi, ko ho teuteú kuó ne fakamatalaʻi ʻa e meʻa lahi fekauʻaki mo koe. Kapau ko ho valá ʻoku maau mo taau, ʻe ʻoatu ai ha fakamatala lelei ʻaupito. (1 Timote 2:9) Kapau ʻoku fakatauele pe ʻaiʻainoaʻia, ʻe leʻo-lahi mo mahino ʻa e fakamatalá—pea ʻikai lelei!
Meʻa ʻoku leaʻaki ʻe he tamaiki tangatá: “Ko ha founga ʻai vala ʻa ha taʻahine ʻokú ne tala ʻa e meʻa lahi fekauʻaki mo ʻene fakakaukau ki he moʻuí. Kapau ʻokú ne tui ha vala ʻoku fakaʻasi ai ki tuʻa ʻa e konga lahi ʻa hono sinó pe ʻaiʻainoaʻia, ʻoku tala mai ai kiate au ʻokú ne feinga lahi ke fakatokangaʻi ia.”—Adrian.
“ʻOku tohoakiʻi au ki ha taʻahine ʻoku tokanga ki hono ʻulú, namu-lelei, pea leʻo fiemālie. ʻI he tafaʻaki ʻe tahá, neongo naʻá ku saiʻia ʻi ha taʻahine talavou, ko e ʻikai te ne fakamaʻá naʻe ʻosi ai pē ia.”—Ryan.
“ʻOku ou saiʻia moʻoni ʻi ha taʻahine ʻoku ʻikai te ne saiʻia ke ngāueʻaki ʻo fuʻu tōtuʻa ʻa e meʻa vali matá pea ʻoku ʻikai te ne saiʻia ʻi he vala mahaʻihaʻí pe fakaʻasi ki tuʻa e konga lahi ʻo hono sinó ke tohoakiʻi mai ʻaki ʻa e tokangá.”—Ethan.
“Kapau ʻoku vala fakatauele ha taʻahine, te ne langaʻi moʻoni ai ha muʻaki saiʻia. Ka ʻoku ʻikai ko e taʻahine ia ʻoku ou loto ke kamata ha vahaʻangatae mo iá.”—Nicholas.
Meʻa ke ʻOua ʻe Faí
● ʻOua ʻe fakamalinga. ʻOku maʻu ʻe he kakai fefiné ʻa e malava ke fai hano tākiekina lahi ʻa e kakai tangatá. Ko e mālohi ko ia ke tohoakiʻi ha tahá ʻoku lava ke ngāueʻaki ia ki he lelei pea ki he kovi. (Senesi 29:17, 18; Palovepi 7:6-23) Kapau ʻokú ke ʻahiʻahiʻi ʻa e mālohi ʻokú ke maʻú ki he tamasiʻi kotoa pē ʻokú ke fetaulaki mo iá, ʻoku ngalingali te ke ʻiloa ai ko ha tokotaha fakamalinga.
Meʻa ʻoku leaʻaki ʻe he tamaiki tangatá: “Ko e tangutu pē ʻi he tafaʻaki ʻo ha taʻahine talavou pea fepāʻaki homa umá ʻoku lava ke hoko ia ko e meʻa fakaueʻiloto ki ha tamasiʻi pea ʻoku lava ke ueʻi ai ʻene ongó. Ko ia ʻoku ou tui ko ha taʻahine ʻoku toutou ala atu ʻi heʻene talanoa kiate koé ʻoku fakamalinga.”—Nicholas.
“Kapau ʻoku toutou kumi faingamālie ha taʻahine ke ala ki he nima ʻo e tamasiʻi kotoa pē ʻokú ne fetaulaki mo iá pe ʻokú ne fakakaihaʻasi ʻene hilá ki he tamasiʻi kotoa pē ʻoku ʻalu haké, ʻoku ou fakakaukau leva ko e tokotaha fakamalinga ia, pea ʻoku ʻikai te u saiʻia ai.”—José.
“Te u fakamatalaʻi ʻoku fakamalinga ha taʻahine kapau naʻá ne ala ki he tamasiʻi kotoa pē naʻá ne fetaulaki mo iá pea hiki vave ʻene tokangá ki ha tamasiʻi pē naʻe tokanga lahi ange kiate iá.”—Ethan.
● ʻOua ʻe fuaʻa. ʻI he taimi ʻoku mali ai ha ongo meʻa, ʻokú na hoko ai ʻo hangē ko e lau ʻa e Tohi Tapú ko e “kakano pe taha.” (Senesi 2:24) ʻI he tuʻunga ko ia ʻo e vahaʻangataé, ko e husepānití mo e uaifí fakatouʻosi ʻokú na tukuange ai ʻa e tauʻatāina lahi naʻá na maʻu nai ʻi he taimi naʻá na toko taha aí; ko hono moʻoní, ʻokú na fai ai ha tukupā ʻia kinaua. (1 Kolinito 7:32-34) Kae kehe, kapau ko hoʻo toki maheni pē ia mo ha talavou, ʻoku ʻikai ʻi ai haʻo totonu ke ʻamanekina ke ne tāfataha mai kiate koe, pe ko koe kiate ia. Kapau ʻokú ke fakavave ʻi hono kounaʻi ke tokanga taha atu kiate koe, te ke maumauʻi nai ai ʻa hoʻomo kaumeʻá.b
Meʻa ʻoku leaʻaki ʻe he tamaiki tangatá: “ʻOku ou tui ʻoku fuʻu fuaʻa ha taʻahine kapau ʻokú ne fiemaʻu ke ʻiloʻi ʻeku laka kotoa pē pea hā ngali taʻemalava ke ne fai ha feohi, pe ko ha meʻa kehe, ʻo mavahe meiate au.”—Darren.
“Kapau ʻoku toutou ʻomai pōpoaki he telefoni toʻotoʻó ha taʻahine naʻá ku toki fetaulaki pē mo ia pea loto ke ne ʻiloʻi ʻa e faʻahinga ʻoku ou feohi mo iá, tautefito ki he hingoa ʻo ha tamaiki fefine pē ʻi ai, ʻoku ou tui leva ko ha fakatokanga ia.”—Ryan.
“Ko ha taʻahine ʻokú ne taʻofi ʻa hoʻo feohi mo ho kaungā tangatá pea ʻiteʻita ʻi he ʻikai maʻu pē te ke fakaafeʻi ia ke mo oó ʻoku fuʻu fakafalala ia ʻi he tuʻunga ʻikai lelei.”—Adrian.
ʻIloʻi Ho Mahuʻingá
Ngalingali ʻokú ke ʻiloʻi ʻa e tamaiki fefine te nau fai ha meʻa pē ke puke ʻaki ʻa e tokanga mo e leleiʻia ʻa ha tamasiʻi. ʻOku tuku hifo ʻe he niʻihi ʻa honau tuʻungá koeʻuhi pē ke lava ʻo maʻu ai hanau kaumeʻa—pe naʻa mo ha mali. Kae kehe, ʻoku ngāueʻaki ki he meʻá ni ʻa e tefitoʻi moʻoni ‘te ke utu pē ʻa e meʻa ʻokú ke toó.’ (Kaletia 6:7-9) Kapau ʻoku ʻikai te ke fakamahuʻingaʻi koe mo e ngaahi tuʻunga ʻokú ke feinga ke moʻuiʻakí, ʻoku ngalingali te ke tohoakiʻi mai ai ʻa e tamaiki tangata ʻoku ʻikai te nau fakamahuʻingaʻi koe pe ko ho tuʻungá.
Ko hono moʻoní, heʻikai saiʻia ʻa e tamaiki tangata kotoa pē ʻiate koe—pea ʻe lava ke hoko ia ko ha meʻa lelei! Ka ʻo kapau ʻokú ke tokanga ke tokangaʻi fakatouʻosi ʻa ho fakaʻofoʻofa ʻi tuʻá mo e fakaʻofoʻofa ʻi lotó, te ke “mahuʻinga ʻaupito ʻi he ʻafio ʻa e ʻOtua.”—pea te ke tohoakiʻi mai ai ʻa e talavou ʻoku tuha mo koé.—1 Pita 3:4.
[Fakamatala ʻi lalo]
a Sio ki he vahe 3 ʻo e tohi Questions Young People Ask—Answers That Work, Voliume 2, pulusi ʻe he Kau Fakamoʻoni ʻa Sihová.
b Ko e moʻoni, ʻi he taimi ʻoku fakamaʻu ai ha ongo meʻa, ʻoku totonu ange ai ʻena fetukupāʻakí.
KE FAKAKAUKAU KI AI
● ʻOku lava fēfē ke ke fakahaaʻi ʻokú ke fakaʻapaʻapaʻi ʻa e fakakaukau mo e ongoʻi ʻa ha talavou?
● ʻOku lava fēfē ke ke fakahaaʻi ʻokú ke fakamahuʻingaʻi koe?
[Fakatātā ʻi he peesi 27]
Ko e ʻofá mo e fakaʻapaʻapá ʻoku hangē ia ko e ongo foʻi vaʻe ʻo ha pasikala—ʻoku fakatou fiemaʻu ia