Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . .

Kutheni Ndinezi Mvakalelo Nje?

“Ndivakalelwa ngathi kukho imfazwe eliwayo ngaphakathi kum. Andazi ukuba ndinokuluzuza phi uncedo.”—UBob.

ULUTSHA oluninzi luba nokubandezeleka kwengqondo okufanayo. Ngokungafaniyo noontanga balo ababonakala ngathi bathe phithi ngabesini esahlukileyo, bona bazifumana betsaleleke ngakumbi kubantu besini esifana nesabo. Kwabaninzi, kuyothusa ukufumanisa oku.

Elinye ibhinqa lathi ngentombi yalo: “Yaqalisa ukuba nempilo enkenenkene, yayingatyi yaye iphuthelwa, yaye yaqalisa ukudandatheka nokudakumba. Yade yazama nokuzibulala.” Sasiyintoni isizekabani soku kuxhwaleka? “Yayineemvakalelo zobufanasini.” Kwabanye kusenokungabi lula ukoyisa utyekelo olunjalo. Umfana esiza kumbiza ngokuba nguMark uyavuma esithi: “Xa ndandingaphantsi kweshumi elivisayo, ndaqalisa ukuba neentlobano zobufanasini nabanye abahlobo bam. Ndaqhubeka ndikwenza oku de ndafikisa ebuntwini obukhulu ndade ndaqalisa ukufundisisa iBhayibhile namaNgqina kaYehova. Kodwa sekunjalo maxa wambi ndandiba neemvakalelo eziphuthileyo ngokuzingisileyo ngaphakathi kum.”

Yintoni eyenza oselula atsaleleke kowesini esifana nesakhe? Yaye oselula ufanele enze ntoni ukuba ucinezelwe ziimvakalelo ezinjalo?

Ngaba Bungokwemvelo Okanye Buyinto Ehlakulelwayo?

Kule mihla kuqhelekile ukuthi amafanasini azalwa enolo tyekelo nokuba olo qheliselo lwesini alunakuguqulwa. Ngokomzekelo, iphephancwadi iTime, lakhupha isaziso esiphawulekayo esithi: “Uhlolisiso olutsha lubonisa ukuba kukho umahluko okhoyo phakathi kokwakhiwa kobuchopho bamadoda angamafanasini natyekele kwisini esahlukileyo.” Phofu ke, olu hlolisiso lwenziwa ebuchotsheni bamadoda ayebulawe nguGawulayo. Ngokuqinisekileyo oku akulingqineli eli bango!

Enye ingcamango ibandakanya iincindi zamadlala. Izazinzulu zithi amabuzi aselebhu aphangwe iincindi zamadlala zobunkunzi abonakalisa imikhwa yeentlobano zesini “yeemazi.” Zaphetha ngelithi ngokufanayo amafanasini asenokuba ngamaxhoba eengozi ezingokwemvelo—ukuchanabeka kwiincindi zamadlala zobudoda ezininzi okanye ezincinane kakhulu ngaphambi kokuzalwa. Noko ke, izazinzulu ezininzi zikholelwa kwelokuba, ukuziphatha okungaqhelekanga phakathi kwamabuzi ngumkhwa nje—enyanisweni ‘asibobufanasini.’ Ngaphezu koko, abantu abangomabuzi. IThe Harvard Medical School Mental Health Letter ithi: “Akunakwenzeka ngokupheleleyo ukuba iincindi zamadlala ngaphambi kokuzalwa ziphembelele . . . iimpawu zesini zomntu ngendlela efanayo naleyo eziyiphembelela ngayo imikhwa ebandakanyekileyo kwiintlobano zesini zamabuzi.”

Kwakhona kuye kwanikelwa ingqalelo enkulu kufundisiso ngemizila yemfuza. Phakathi kwamadoda namabhinqa angamafanasini anamawele afanayo, ngokukwanjalo malunga nesiqingatha samawele awo angamafanasini. Ekubeni amawele eqanda elinye [afanayo] enomzila wemfuza ofanayo, kwabonakala kusengqiqweni ukuphetha ngelithi imizila yemfuza ethile yabangela ukungafani okuthile. Noko ke, phawula ukuba isiqingatha sezalamane ezingamawele sasingengawo amafanasini. Ukuba ngokwenene lo mkhwa wawuyinkqubo engokwemfuza, ngaba bekungamele ukuba onke amawele abe nawo? Kuyinyaniso ukuba, imizila yemfuza neencindi zamadlala zisenokuba nendima ethile. Sekunjalo, iScientific American yanikela ingxelo ngezinto ezithile ezifunyenweyo yokuba ubungqina “bubonisa ngokucacileyo ukuba imekobume ifak’ isandla kakhulu kuqheliselo lwesini.”

Iimpembelelo Zemekobume

Khawucinge ngemekobume yaseGrisi mandulo. Iphenjelelwe ngamabali avuselela inkanuko yesini angoothixo balapho basentsomini, imibhalo yezithandi zobulumko ezinjengoPlato, nenkqubo eyenziwa kwigumbi lokwenza umthambo apho ulutsha lwalusenza umthambo luhamba ze, ubufanasini baba yinto esefashonini phakathi kwezinhanha kubantu bonke abantetho isisiGrike. Ngokutsho kwencwadi ethi Love in Ancient Greece, “kwakujongwa njengento elihlazo eKrete ngenkwenkwe ezalwa kwibutho labantu abakumgangatho ophezulu engenamntu [oyindoda] ethandana naye.” Akukho mzila wamfuza ufihlakeleyo okanye incindi yedlala ebangela ukuziphatha okuphantsi okunjalo. Kwahambela phambili kuba inkcubeko yamaGrike yakuvumela, ewe, yakukhuthaza! Oku kubonisa kakuhle indima imekobume enokuba namandla ngayo.

Ngokungathandabuzekiyo ukwanda kokusasazwa kwenkcazelo ekhuthaza ubufanasini kuye kwafak’ isandla kakhulu ekusasazeni loo mbono namhlanje. Zininzi iimbekiselo zobufanasini kumabonwakude, kwimifanekiso eshukumayo, kumculo, nakumaphephancwadi. Iinkqubo ezirhunyelwayo zikamabonwakude ziye zenza kwalula ngolunye ulutsha ukubukela imifanekiso engamanyala yokwenziwa kweentlobano zesini ngokoqobo. Iindlela zokunxiba nezokuzilungisa zamadoda-bafazi ziye zathandwa kakhulu. Kwakhona ezinye iingcali zivakalelwa kukuba ukusasazwa kwengcamango echasene namadoda ekhuthazwe ngabathile abalwela amalungelo abafazi kube negalelo ekwandeni kobufanasini phakathi kwamabhinqa. Kwakhona ulutsha lusenokuchanabeka kwiimpembelelo ezimbi ngokunxulumana nolo lufunda nalo eklasini olo luxhasa ngokuphandle indlela yokuphila yobufanasini.—1 Korinte 15:33.

Ubawo Nonyana

Maxa wambi, imekobume embi yentsapho nayo ibonakala inendima enkulu, ingakumbi phakathi kwamadoda.a Ubawo unegalelo elibalulekileyo ekukhuleni komntwana ngokweemvakalelo. (Efese 6:4) Incwadi ethi Ukwenza Ubomi Bentsapho Yakho Bonwabe ithi: “Impembelelo yeempawu zobudoda zikayise inokufak’ isandla lukhulu ekukhuleni kobuntu obubumbeneyo nobulungeleleneyo.”b Kwakhona inkwenkwe iyakufuna ukuxatyiswa, ukuthandwa, nokunconywa nguyise. (Thelekisa uLuka 3:22.) Unokuba yintoni umphumo xa ubawo esilela ukunikela le ngqalelo ifunekayo emntwaneni wakhe? Luxinezeleko lweemvakalelo. Umbhali ngezigulo zengqondo uJoseph Nicolosi uthi ubufanasini phakathi kwamadoda “phantse maxa onke bungumphumo weengxaki kunxulumano lwentsapho, ngokukodwa phakathi kobawo nonyana.”

Kusenokwenzeka ukuba umama ngokungaqondi uzenza mandundu iimeko ngokuyithoba isidima indoda yakhe okanye ngokumfekethisa kakhulu unyana wakhe. Olunye uhlolisiso ngamakhwenkwe atyekele ebufazini lwenza la magqabaza: “Abanye abazali baye banqwenela ukufumana intombazana kunenkwenkwe yaye ngokuchuliweyo baye bakhuthaza unyana wabo oselula ukuba anxibe njengentombazana okanye bamnxibisa ngaloo ndlela.”

Oku akuthethi ukuba ngokuzenzekelayo kunokugxekwa umzali kabani ngeemvakalelo zesini ezigqwethekileyo. Amadoda amaninzi akhule enoonina abafekethisayo nooyise abangakhathaliyo, abangekhoyo, okanye abaxhaphazayo sekunjalo aye akhulisa iimpawu zobudoda. Ngaphezu koko, asingabo bonke abanotyekelo lobufanasini ngokuyimfuneko abaphume kwiintsapho ezingalungelelananga. Noko ke, kuyabonakala ukuba, kwamanye amakhwenkwe undonakele waqalisa apha. UGqr. Nicolosi uthi: “Ngenxa yoluvo lokutyeshelwa kwangaphambili nguyise . . . , ifanasini liba noluvo lokuba buthathaka nokungafaneleki ngokuphathelele ezo mpawu zinxulumene nobudoda, oko kukuthi, amandla, igunya, nokomelela. Ngoxa likhulisa iimpawu zalo zobudoda, lithi lingaqondanga litsaleleke kumandla obudoda.”

Umfana ongumKristu ogama linguPeter ubhala oku: “Utata wayeyindlamanzi yaye wayesoloko embetha umama, yaye, maxa wambi, ebetha nathi bantwana. Xa ndandineminyaka eli-12 ubudala, walishiya ikhaya. Ngokuzingisileyo ndandisoloko ndinemvakalelo yokungabi natata. Ndandisoloko ndilangazelela ubani wokuphelisa loo mvandedwa ndandinawo imihla ngemihla. Ekugqibeleni xa ndathi ndakha ubuhlobo nendoda ethile engumKristu oqolileyo endandicinga ukuba yayinokuyizalisa loo ntswelo, ndaqalisa ukuba neemvakalelo zokuba neentlobano zesini nayo.”

Okubangel’ umdla kukuba, inginginya yamafanasini ingamaxhoba okuxhatshazwa isengabantwana.c Ukuxhatshazwa okunjalo kunokuvelisa umonakalo ohlala ixesha elide ngokwasemzimbeni nangokweemvakalelo. Kwabanye kunokudala oko omnye umbhali wakubiza ngokuthi “ziimpawu zesini ezigqwethekileyo.” Ngokucacileyo oku kwenzeka kwiSodom yamandulo, apho amakhwenkwana abonakalisa umdla ongalawulekiyo ngeentlobano zesini ezigqwethekileyo. (Genesis 19:4, 5) Ngokucacileyo, ayexhatshaziwe ngabantu abakhulu.

Imbambano Engokuziphatha

Izazinzulu azinakugqiba ngokuthe ngqo ngobungakanani bendima enayo imvelo okanye oko kuhlakulelwayo kumtsalane wesini esifanayo. Kodwa inye into ecacileyo: Bonke abantu bazalwa benotyekelo olubeyisela kwiingcinga notyekelo olubi.—Roma 3:23. Ngoko ke oselula olangazelela ukukholisa uThixo ufanele ahambisane nemilinganiselo Yakhe yokuziphatha yaye aphephe ihambo yokuziphatha okubi, nangona ukwenjenjalo kusenokuba ngumgudu onzima. Liyinyaniso elokuba, bambi abantu banokutyekela kakhulu kubufanasini, kanye njengokuba abanye abantu, ngokutsho kweBhayibhile, ‘bequmba msinya.’ (Tito 1:7) Kodwa sekunjalo iBhayibhile iyakugweba ukubonakalisa umsindo ongalunganga. (Efese 4:31) Ngokufanayo, umKristu akanakwenza isingxengxezo ngehambo embi ngokuthi ‘wazalwa enjalo.’ Abo baxhaphaza abantwana ngokufanayo benza isingxengxezo esif’ amanqe xa besithi ukunqwenela kwabo abantwana “kungokwemvelo.” Kodwa ngaba nabani na unokukhanyela ukuba umnqweno wabo wesini, ugqwethekile? Oko kunjalo nangokunqwenela ubani wesini esifanayo.

Ngoko ke, ulutsha oluzifumana lutsaleleke kwabesini esifanayo lufanele lukuphephe ukunikezela kwiimvakalelo zalo. Noko ke, kutheni iBhayibhile ibugweba kabukhali kangaka ubufanasini? Ngaba ngokwenene loo ndlela yokuphila imasikizi yaye igqwethekile? Ukuba kunjalo, oselula unokwenza ntoni ukuphepha oku? Le mibuzo iza kuxutyushwa kwinkupho elandelayo kaVukani!

[Imibhalo esemazantsi]