Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . .
Kutheni Ndifanele Ndimazi Ngakumbi Umakhulu Notatomkhulu?
“Xa mna nomama sasiba nengxaki yokunxibelelana, uMakhulu wayesinceda siyicombulule loo ngxaki.”—UDamaris.
KWINCWADI yakhe ethi Grandparent Power! uGqr. Arthur Kornhaber ubhala athi: “Ukutyhubela imbali, ootatomkhulu noomakhulu bebengabona baphambili ekumanyaniseni intsapho nasekufundiseni ngamasiko nezithethe zentsapho.” Wongezelela athi: “Njengabantu abafundisayo, abaxhasi babazali, ababalisa imbali, abanyamekeli, abacebisi kwakunye nabonwabisi, indima yabo ekukhuliseni ingqondo, kwizinto zasekuhlaleni nakwicala lezinto zokomoya yayibaluleke gqitha. Ndiyazibuza ukuba uluntu luye lwakwazi njani ukuyigatya le ndima ibalulekileyo yoomakhulu nootatomkhulu eneenkalo ezahlukahlukeneyo.”
Mandulo phaya, ootatomkhulu noomakhulu babesisiseko sobomi bentsapho, ingakumbi kubantu abanqula uYehova uThixo. IBhayibhile yayalela amaSirayeli ukuba azihlonele aze azibeke iingwevu. (Levitikus 19:32) Ootatomkhulu noomakhulu babejongwa njengabafanelwe yimbeko ekhethekileyo.—1 Timoti 5:4.
Okubuhlungu kukuba, amaxesha atshintshile. Ngokufuthi ukuqelelana kuyazahlula iintsapho, yaye abantu abaselula abaninzi banonxibelelwano oluncinane noomakhulu nootatomkhulu babo. Nezimo zengqondo zitshintshile. Kwiindawo ezininzi ehlabathini, abantu abadala—kuquka nezalamane—abaphathwa ngentlonelo ebafaneleyo. (2 Timoti 3:1-3) Ukwahluka kwezimvo phakathi kwezizukulwana ngoku kuhambele phambili. Abantu abaninzi abaselula bacinga ukuba ootatomkhulu noomakhulu babo badala gqitha yaye abazi nto. Abayiqondi into yokuba ezi ngwevu zisenokuba ziyayiqonda ingcinezelo neengxaki abajamelana nazo abantu abaselula namhlanje.
Ukuba leyo yindlela ovakalelwa ngayo, zimisele ukuphinda uwuhlolisise lo mbandela! Kuba zininzi iingenelo ekumazini ngakumbi umakhulu notatomkhulu wakho—ingakumbi ukuba ngabantu abamoyikayo uThixo. Yaye ukuba akubazi kangako, kusenokwenzeka ukuba uyaphoswa. Njani?
Umthombo Wobulumko Namacebiso
Abantu abaselula abaninzi bafumanise ukuba ootatomkhulu noomakhulu banokuba likhusi kwiminyaka yobutsha enzima. Iphephancwadi iSeventeen lagqabaza lenjenje: “Ekubeni benamava amaninzi ngobu bomi, ngokufuthi baluncedo xa ujamelene nengxaki kunokuba kunjalo ngabahlobo bakho abalingana nawe, nabo abaxakeke zezabo iingxaki ezifana nezakho. Wena noontanga bakho nijamelane neengxaki zokuqala zotshintsho olwenzeka ebomini benu; ootatomkhulu noomakhulu sele bedlulile kwezo ngxaki. Banamava yaye banobulumko.” Eli cebiso lisikhumbuza oko kwathethwa yiBhayibhile kwiinkulungwane ezadlulayo, xa yathi: “Isithsaba sokuhomba zizimvi xa sifunyanwa endleleni yobulungisa.”—IMizekeliso 16:31.
Ewe, kusenokwenzeka ukuba utatomkhulu nomakhulu wakho bakhula ngendlela eyahlukileyo kule ukhula ngayo wena. Kodwa usenokuqiniseka ukuba nabo babekhe bavakalelwa ngendlela efanayo nale uxakene nayo ngoku. Ngoxa usenokuba akunamava okujamelana nezi mvakalelo, bona bachithe ubomi babo bonke befunda ukujamelana nazo. (IMizekeliso 1:4) Indoda elilungisa uYobhi yabuza: “Ngaba akukho bulumko phakathi kwabalupheleyo nokuqonda ebudeni bemihla?” (Yobhi 12:12) Ewe bukho, yaye kanye ngeso sizathu utatomkhulu nomakhulu banokuba ngabona baluncedo xa oselula efuna icebiso elisengqiqweni, ukhuthazo okanye inkxaso.
Ngokomzekelo, umakhulu kaDamaris oselula wayehlala naye nomama wakhe kwigumbi elisedolophini. UDamaris ukhumbula oku: “Xa mna nomama sasiba nengxaki yokunxibelelana, umakhulu wayesinceda siyicombulule loo ngxaki. Wayendibonisa indlela yokuzijonga ngokwahlukileyo izinto.”
UAlexandria naye waba kwimeko efanayo xa intsapho yakowabo yafudukayo yaye kwafuneka atshintshe isikolo. Uthi: “Umfundisi-ntsapho wam omtsha wayengqongqo yaye maxa wambi wayesiba lugcwabevu ngumsindo.” Ngoko ukuqhela esi sikolo sitsha kwakunzima kuAlexandria. Noko ke, umakhulu wakhe waba luncedo kakhulu. Wamnceda uAlexandria ukuze asiqhele isikolo sakhe esitsha ngokumkhuthaza. UAlexandria uthi: “Ngoku ndiyasithanda isikolo nomfundisi-ntsapho wam.”
Igatyana lomfana laseBrazil elinguRafael ukhumbula indlela utatomkhulu nomakhulu wakhe abamnceda ngayo xa kwafuneka aphinde afunde emva kokuphumelela imfundo yamabanga aphakamileyo, uthi: “Bandiluleka kakhulu ngonxulumano nangendlela yokuphepha ingxaki yeziyobisi.” URafael ngoku ukhonza njengomhambisi wevangeli wexesha elizeleyo.
Kwincwadi yakhe ethi Grandparenting in a Changing World, uEda LeShan ubalisa ngamava akhe okuba ngumakhulu. Ubhala enjenje: “Ngenye imini umzukulwana wam wanditsalela umnxeba waza wathi, ‘Makhulu, ndifuna uncedo ngengcinezelo yoontanga.’ Bambi abantwana afunda nabo babefuna enze amadinga namakhwenkwe, amanye awo ayedla ngokumtsalel’ umnxeba.” Ngenxa yokuba umzukulwana wakhe wacela uncedo, umakhulu wakwazi ukunika icebiso elaba luncedo. Nawe usenokufumanisa ukuba incoko nje emfutshane nomakhulu okanye utatomkhulu inokuba lukhuthazo ngokwenene.
Oomakhulu nootatomkhulu baluncedo kakhulu xa intsapho ikwixesha lobunzima, njengaxa kukho ukugula okanye ukufa. Emva kokuba uLacey oselula efelwe nguyise emva kokugula kakhulu, umakhulu wakhe wamnceda wakwazi ukuhlangabezana naloo meko. ULacey uthi: “Siye sasondelelana nangakumbi kunangaphambili.”
Iqhina Elikhethekileyo Lothando
Kulwalamano lwakho nomakhulu okanye utatomkhulu wakho kunokungabikho ukungavisisani okudla ngokubakho phakathi kwabanye abantu abaselula nabazali babo. Yintoni ebangela oku kube njalo? Esinye isizathu kukuba, ootatomkhulu noomakhulu bayalunandipha ulwalamano olukhethekileyo nabazukulwana babo. IBhayibhile ithi: “Iingwevu zinegugu ngabazukulwana bazo.”—IMizekeliso 17:6, Today’s English Version.
Kwakhona, khumbula ukuba ngabazali bakho—kungekhona utatomkhulu okanye umakhulu—abanembopheleleko yokukukhulisela “kwingqeqesho nasekweyiselweni kwengqondo kuYehova.” (Efese 6:4) Kuba eyabo imbopheleleko incinane, utatomkhulu nomakhulu wakho banokutyekela ekubeni bangakugxeki kunabazali bakho. Kwakhona, ootatomkhulu noomakhulu abaninzi abanazimbopheleleko zingako naluxinezeleko lokunyamakela intsapho imihla ngemihla. Ngenxa yokuba basenokuba abanazo ezo mbopheleleko zibangela uxinezeleko, kunokuba lula ngabo ukuba banikele ingqalelo kwizinto ozifunayo nakuwe. UTom oneminyaka eli-17 ubudala ukhumbula ingqalelo awayeyifumana kutatomkhulu nomakhulu wakhe. Babedla ngokumthumelela “izipho ezincinane xa efumene ingxelo entle esikolweni”; kwaye bahlawulela nezifundo zakhe zokudlala ipiyano.
Kambe ke, asingabo bonke ootatomkhulu noomakhulu abakwaziyo ukunika abazukulwana babo izipho ezinjalo, kodwa banokubonisa umdla kuwe, mhlawumbi ngokukuncoma baze bakukhuthaze okanye bakuphulaphule ngomdla ngamaxesha athile. Oku kunokudala amaqhina obuhlobo awomeleleyo phakathi kwenu. UDamaris uthi ngomakhulu wakhe: “Undenza ndizive ndikhululekile, yaye ndinokuya kuye ndize ndithethe naye nangaliphi na ixesha kuba usoloko ekulungele ukuphulaphula—nokuba sele ndithetha into engabhadlanga.” UJônatas oselula naye uyayinandipha inkululeko yokuthetha nethuba lokuthetha ngezinto ezibalulekileyo kunye notatomkhulu nomakhulu wakhe.
Unaniselwano
Ngoxa ootatomkhulu noomakhulu basenokukunika ubulumko nothando, nabo banokungenelwa kumandla akho obutsha kunye nobuhlobo bakho. Njani? Ewe, zininzi iindlela onokuba yingenelo nenkxaso ngayo kutatomkhulu nakumakhulu wakho. Ngamaxesha amaninzi, baphelelwa ngamandla. Okanye kusenokwenzeka ukuba bayagula. Alithandabuzeki elokuba inokubakhuthaza into yokuba ubancede ubayele evenkileni wenze neminye imisebenzi yasendlwini.
Oomakhulu nootatomkhulu abaninzi bangabahlolokazi okanye abahlolo yaye bayadandatheka ngamaxesha athile. Ngokuba nomdla kubo, unokubanceda kakhulu boyise ezo mvakalelo zokuziva bengamalolo uze ubancede baqhubeke benomdla wokuphila. Ukwenza oko yenye yeendlela zokulandela umyalelo weBhayibhile ‘wokubuyekeza abazali noomawokhulu bakho, kuba oko kwamkelekile emehlweni kaThixo.’—1 Timoti 5:4.
Ngokungathandabuzekiyo, ukusondela kumakhulu nakutatomkhulu wakho kunokuba yingenelo ebomini bakho—nakwabanye! Mhlawumbi kude kube ngoku ubungasondelelananga kangako nabo. Mhlawumbi ufuna ukukuguqula oko kodwa akuqinisekanga apho ufanele uqalise khona. Kusenokwenzeka ukuba umakhulu notatomkhulu wakho bahlala kude kakhulu okanye abazali bakho bahlukana yaye oku kukwahlule notatomkhulu nomakhulu wakho. Inqaku eliza kupapashwa kwixesha elizayo liza kunikela amacebiso okuhlangabezana neemeko ezinjalo.
Ukuba ungayivuyela inkcazelo engakumbi okanye ungathanda ukuba uthile eze ekhayeni lakho ukuze akuqhubele isifundo seBhayibhile sesisa, nceda ubhale, uthumele igama nedilesi ohlala kuyo kwiWatch Tower, Private Bag X2067, Krugersdorp, 1740, South Africa, okanye kwidilesi efanelekileyo kwezidweliswe kwiphepha 5.
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 31]
Oomakhulu nootatomkhulu banokuba ngabaphulaphuli abahle nomthombo wamacebiso nenkxaso
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 32]
Yiba luncedo kumakhulu okanye utatomkhulu wakho