Ukufumanisa Ubuntu Bakho Bokwenene
XA UKHANGELA esipilini, ubona ntoni? Uzibona wena ubuqu. Kodwa ngaba oko kukuxelela uhlobo lomntu onguye ngokwenene? Ngaba kukubonisa uhlobo lomntu abasenokuba abanye bakugqala ululo? Ngaba ngokwenene uyazazi ukuba ungubani na? Ngaba uyayazi indlela ubuntu bakho obamiselwa ngayo ekuqaleni? Uye wazikhulisa njani iimpawu onazo zobuntu?
Xa unqumama uze uhlalutye zonke izinto eziye zabumba ubuntu bakho, usenokuphawula ukuba zininzi izinto eziye zabuphembelela—enoba ngabanye abantu okanye ngabanye oothunywashe. Ebudeni beminyaka yethu yobuntwana, phantse uninzi lwethu ngokwentelekiso aluzange lube nagalelo lingako ekumiseleni imikhwa neendlela esiya kuphila ngazo. Ngoko makhe sikhangele ezinye zezi mpembelelo zakha ubuntu ezanyanzeliswa kuwe—ezinye zazo zabakho kudala ngaphambi kokuba ube nethuba lokwenza nantoni na ngeempawu zakho zobuntu.
Imfuza Inendima Enkulu
Imfuza iye yakuchaphazela kangakanani? Uyilo lweDNA, olufumaneka kwimisontwana (chromosomes) ephakathi kwiiseli ezidlulisela iimpawu zemfuza, inenkcazelo nemiyalelo ecwangcisiweyo yokukhula komntu ngamnye. Ngoko iimpawu zakho njengomntu ziphenjelelwa kangakanani yimfuza? Kubonakala ukuba ayikaziwa ncam indlela iiseli zemfuza ezihambisana ngayo neempawu zobuntu. Noko ke, kukho ezinye iinkalo zalo mbandela ezibonakala zisengqiqweni. Ngokomzekelo, uninzi lweempawu zemfuza eziphawulekayo zinempembelelo kwiimpawu zakho zobuntu. Ngaloo ndlela, bambi abantu bazalwa beyiminyewu, ngoxa abanye bendwebile ngokwemvelo.
Umfazi okhulelweyo unokumnceda okanye amonakalise umntwana wakhe ongekazalwa ngezenzo, ngeengcinga nangeemvakalelo zakhe. Kanye kanye ungakanani umlinganiselo woxolo okanye wokucaphuka owawuchanabeke kuwo ngoxa wawusesibelekweni sikanyoko? Kungakanani owakufundayo kwimvakalo-zwi yabazali bakho, kumculo ababewuphulaphula? Wachatshazelwa kangakanani kukutya unyoko awayekutya? Ukuba wayesebenzisa iziselo ezinxilisayo okanye iziyobisi, wayechatshazelwa kangakanani zizo? Ngexesha lokuzalwa kwakho, izinto ezininzi otyekele kuzo zaqalisa ukuzinza yaye mhlawumbi kunzima ukuziguqula.
Kuthekani Ngokutya Owawukutya, Izinto Ezingamkelwayo Ngumzimba Wakho, Imeko-bume
Njengokuba wawukhulela ebuntwaneni, izinto ezithile ekutyeni kwakho zisenokuba zaba nempembelelo kwiimpawu zakho zobuntu. Izinto zokuvakalisa incasa, izijiki-mbala ezenziweyo nezinto zokugcina ukutya okunkonkxiweyo kungonakali—zonke zinokuziphembelela ngeendlela ongaziqondiyo iimpawu zakho zobuntu. Ukuphakuzela, uxinezeleko olongezelelekileyo, ubucaphucaphu, ukuqaqanjelwa yimithambo-luvo nezenzo ezingalungelelananga nezingalawulekiyo yeminye nje yemiphumo yoku. Ungcoliso olubangelwa ngumsi ophuma kwizithuthi, olukhutshwa yimizi-mveliso nezinye iityhefu ezikummandla okungqongileyo zikwanegalelo ekubumbeni iimpawu zobuntu bukabani. Okanye wena ngokobuqu, usenokuba nento engamkelwayo ngumzimba wakho nekuchaphazela ngokunzulu kodwa engabachaphazeliyo abo bakungqongileyo.
Ukongezelela kwezi mpembelelo, iimpawu zobuntu zabazali bakho, izinto abazithandayo nabangazithandiyo ndawonye nekhethe oye wakhula benalo ukususela ebusaneni, ziye zakuchaphazela yaye ziye zabumba ubuntu bakho ukusa kumkhamo othile. Umphumo uba kukuba iindlela zakho ezininzi nendlela ozibona ngayo izinto ebomini iyimbonakaliso yeyabo ngokupheleleyo. Uyacatshukiswa zizinto ezibacaphukisayo. Utyekela ekuzinyamezeleni izinto abazinyamezelayo. Ibe akufane uziphawule ukuba uxelisa iimpawu zabo zobuntu de umntu othile akuxelele ukuba ufuze uyihlo okanye unyoko. Umgangatho abakuwo ngokwemali nongokwentlalo nako kuye kwakuchaphazela, njengokuba indawo ohlala kuyo nemeko yasesikolweni yayinjalo. Kwanabahlobo nezinxulumani zakho zibe nempembelelo enkulu kuwe. Mhlawumbi ingozi embi (eyakwehlelayo okanye eyehlela umhlobo osenyongweni), intlekele ethile yasekuhlaleni, okanye kwaneziganeko zehlabathi ezikhathazayo ziye zakuchaphazela. Okanye kusenokuba intlekele ethile, enjengoqhawulo-mtshato okanye ukugula okungamandla, kuye kwashiya isiva esithile, kubuntu bakho.
Ngaba wena, ngokobuqu, unako ukuyiphawula nayiphi na impembelelo enjalo?
Unqulo Lunayiphi Indima?
Kucingelwa ukuba, unqulo lufanele lukuncede ekuphuculeni ubuntu bakho, imilinganiselo yakho yokuziphatha, imigaqo ekulawulayo nendlela yamihla le yokuphila kwakho. Kanye kanye imilinganiselo yokuziphatha nezenzo zakho ziye zachatshazelwa kangakanani lunqulo? Ngoxa unqulo lufanele lusebenze njengoluphelisa ukungakhathali, ulwaphulo-mthetho, abantu abaninzi bachatshazelwa ngendlela eyahlukileyo ngokunxulumana kwabo nonqulo. Babona ukuhanahanisa okuninzi nokubalaseliswa kwezinto eziphathekayo kunakwimilinganiselo yokomoya ezicaweni baze ngenxa yoko babe buhlungu. Basenokude bangabi namdla kwaphela kunqulo benganikeli ngqalelo kwaphela kwizinto zokomoya, yaye bengenathemba.
Usenokucinga ngezinye iimpembelelo zangaphandle ezibumba iimpawu zobuntu. Khawunqumame umzuzwana uze ucinge ngazo naziphi na izinto ezisenokuba zakuchaphazela ukuza kuthi ga ngoku. Ngaba unokuzidwelisa ezinye zazo? Akulula ukuphenjelelwa zizibakala, kungekhona iimvakalelo zobuqu okanye umkhethe uze ucinge ngolu hlobo, kodwa kuwufanele umgudu yaye kunokuba luncedo kuwe. Njani?
Kaloku, ukuba uyakwazi ukufumanisa impembelelo ethile okanye unobangela wotyekelo oluthile olubi kwiimpawu zakho zobuntu, ukuba ngokukhethekileyo uyakwazi ukulwahlula kwezinye, uya kukwazi kakuhle ukululawula, mhlawumbi kwanokuluguqula. Ukuba uyakwazi ukuyilawula, okanye kwanokuyiphelisa, impembelelo enganqwenelekiyo, unokuba ngumntu owahlukileyo, oziphethe kakuhle ngakumbi ngokuhlobene nabanye.
Kambe ke, oko kulucelomngeni. Kodwa ekubeni iimpembelelo ezininzi kangaka kwiimpawu zakho zobuqu ziye zanyanzeliswa kuwe ngabanye abantu okanye ziimeko ongakwazanga ukuzilawula, kutheni ungaqalisi uze wenze okuthile ngale meko wena siqu? Ukuba kufuneka uphucule, kutheni ungaluguquli nje uhlobo lomntu onguye?
[Amagama acatshulweyo akwiphepha 4]
Izenzo neemvakalelo zomfazi okhulelweyo zinokumchaphazela umntwana wakhe ongekazalwa