Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . .
Kutheni Ndingafaneleki Nje Phakathi Kwabanye?
“Yayingowona mqobo unzima endakha ndajamelana nawo.”—Craig.
“Ndandililolo gqitha.”—Jessica.
“Ndaziva ndinxunguphele gqitha.”—Chris.
“Kwandenza ndaba nomsindo yaye kwandicaphukisa. Ndalila kangangexesha elide.”—Sommar.
“Ndasala ndididekile yaye ngokuqinisekileyo ndenzakele.”—Erin.
NGABA la mazwi achaza isiganeko esithile esiyintlekele? Akunjalo, aba bantu bathetha ngeemvakalelo ezibuhlungu abazivayo kuba ngoxa babeselula bengazange bafaneleke phakathi koontanga babo. Yaye ukuba ukhe wakhutshelwa ecaleni liqela elithile okanye waphetshwa lulutsha obufuna ukwakha ubuhlobo nalo, uyayazi indlela anokuba buhlungu ngayo amava anjalo.
Kakade ke, kungokwemvelo ukufuna ukufaneleka phakathi koontanga bakho. Izazinzulu ngempilo-ntle yomntu zichaza abantu njengabathanda ukuba yinxalenye yeqela elithile; ngokwemvelo sityekele ekuphileni njengamaqela. Lo mnqweno unamandla ngokukhethekileyo xa usekwishumi elivisayo. UMicalah oneminyaka eli-14 ubudala wathi: “Siziva sinqabisekile yaye samkelekile xa siphakathi kwabantu abanezilangazelelo ezifana nezethu.” Ukuba nezilangazelelo ezifanayo kusenokuquka ukuthanda imidlalo, ukutya, izinto ezenziwa esikolweni, isinxibo okanye umculo ofanayo. Okanye kusenokuba kukuzonwabisa okanye ukhetho lokuziyolisa olugcina iqela labahlobo bekunye.
Iingxaki zivela xa amaqhina abophelela iqela esetyenziswa njengezingxengxezo zobudenge ukuze olunye ulutsha lukhethelwe ecaleni. uBrendan ukhumbula oku: “Ukuba wawunganxibanga zihlangu ezifanelekileyo zentenetya, wawungafaneleki phakathi kwethu. Wawungeyonxalenye yeqela.” Enoba oko kubonakala njengobudenge, kusenokwenzakalisa ngokwenene ukungamkeleki ngoxa abanye befaneleka phakathi kwabanye.
Xa Kufuneka Ungafaneleki Phakathi Kwabo
Noko ke, khawuzibuze, ‘Ngaba ngokwenene ndiyafuna ukufaneleka phakathi kweqela elithile?’ Nakumaxesha okubhalwa kweBhayibhile, ulutsha olungalawulekileyo ngokufuthi lwaluzama ukwakha ubuhlobo nabanye. Babedla ngokulukuhla abanye bathi, “Hamba nathi.” “Wena ke woliphosa phakathi kwethu iqashiso lakho.” Kodwa iBhayibhile yalumkisa yathi: “Nyana wam, musa ukuhamba ngendlela nabo; lunqande unyawo lwakho emendweni wabo. Kuba iinyawo zabo zigidimela ububi.”—IMizekeliso 1:11-16.
Ngokukwanjalo namhlanje, usenokulingelwa ukuba ube ngomnye weqela elithandwayo. Kodwa lulutsha olunjani olungamalungu alo? Lusenokuba luyakuthanda ukuzonwabisa, kodwa ngaba luyamoyika uThixo? Ngaba ukunxulumana nalo kuya kulwakha ulwalamano lwakho noThixo okanye kuya kuluchitha? Eyoku-1 kwabaseKorinte 15:33 ilumkisa isithi: “Incoko embi yonakalisa izimilo ezilungileyo.”
Kwakhona, zibuze oko ukufaneleka phakathi kweqela elithile kuya kuthetha kona. Omnye osemtsha ogama linguGrace uthi, ‘Inkulu gqitha ingcinezelo ofanele ujamelane nayo. Ngoxa ndandiselula, ndandidla ngokwenza izinto ezinjengokuthuka kuba abahlobo bam babedla ngokuthi, “Thuka.” Yayiyimvakalelo nje yokungafuni ukuba semva.’ Umbhali uMary Susan Miller ubalisa ngomnye osemtsha owalalanisayo ukuze afaneleke phakathi kwabanye. Ngabom wavumela ukuba amanqaku akhe esikolo ehle “ukuze angabi ngathi uzenza mhle kunabantwana afunda nabo awayefuna ukwakha ubuhlobo nabo.”—Childstress!
Kakade ke, akukho nto iphosakeleyo ekwenzeni umzamo osengqiqweni wokuhlalisana kakuhle nabanye. (Thelekisa eyoku-1 kwabaseKorinte 9:19-23.) Kodwa xa ukufaneleka phakathi kwabanye kuthetha ukuba kufuneka utshaye, usebenzise iziyobisi okanye utywala, usebenzise intetho engcolileyo, ukuhleka iziqhulo ezingamanyala, ukubandakanyeka kwisini, okanye izinto ezinjengezo, ngokuphandle akulunganga! Oko kukutsiba ilitye likaPhungela! Kungebubo nobulumko ukuvumela ukuba olunye ulutsha lukuyalele ngazo zonke iinkcukacha zesinxibo sakho, intetho okanye indlela ozilungisa ngayo.
Ngapha koko, amaKristu ayalelwa ukuba angakhe afaneleke phakathi kwabo bangamaziyo uThixo. UYesu wathi ngabafundi bakhe: “Ihlabathi labathiya, ngokuba bengengabo abehlabathi, njengokuba nam ndingenguye owehlabathi.” (Yohane 17:14) Ngaba akulunganga ngakumbi ukufumana inkoliseko kaThixo kunokufumana inkoliseko yoontanga abangamkholisiyo uThixo?—Thelekisa uYakobi 4:4.
Ukufaneleka Phakathi KwamaKristu Okhonza Kunye Nawo
Kodwa kuthekani ukuba ukwanengxaki yokufaneleka phakathi kwamaKristu okhonza kunye nawo—ulutsha oluneenkolelo ezinjengezakho? Mhlawumbi kukho izizathu ezisengqiqweni.
Ngokomzekelo, usenokuba usandul’ ukufika kummandla othile, yaye nolutsha lwalapho lusenokuba luyazibamba okanye lubalumkele abantu olungabaqhelanga. Njengokuba abanye besiya bekuqhela, ngokunokwenzeka izinto ziya kuguquka. UJessica waba nala mava xa intsapho yakowabo yafudukela kwibandla elitsha lamaNgqina kaYehova. Ukhumbula oku: “Wonk’ ubani wayenobuhlobo yaye enobubele, kodwa sekunjalo kwathabatha ixesha elingangonyaka ukuze ndizive ndisekhaya. Xa ndikhumbula emva, ngoku ndiyaqonda ukuba kuthabath’ ixesha ukwakha ulwalamano.” UJessica wongezelela ngokuthi ukuba nesabelo emsebenzini wokushumayela wasesidlangalaleni nabanye kwibandla elitsha kwaba luncedo olukhulu ekumenzeni azive eyinxalenye yalo.
UStephen walatha kwenye inkalo yokwakha ubuhlobo. Uthi: “Kangangeminyaka kwakungekho mntu wakha ubuhlobo nam ngenxa yokuba ndandineentloni. Ngoko ndaqonda ukuba ndandifuna abahlobo, kwakufuneka ndithabathe inyathelo lokuqala.” Waba yintoni umphumo? UStephen ngoku unabahlobo abaninzi abasenyongweni. Ngoko nawe ungakwazi ukuba wenza umgudu othile. Kunokuba ulindele ukuba abanye bakuqhele, zama ukubaqhela nawe. Mema olunye ulutsha ekhayeni lakho, okanye buza abazali bakho enoba izinxulumani zakho ezitsha azinakuba kunye nani ngoxa nisenza umsebenzi othile wentsapho. Oku kusenokuba sisiqalo sobuhlobo obuhlala buhleli.
Noko ke, xa abanye bengasabeli kwiinzame zakho, ngokufuthi kuba kungenxa yokungaqondani okuthile. AmaKristu aseYerusalem ayekuphepha ukunxulumana nompostile uPawulos ngenxa yengcinga eyimpazamo yokuba wayesatshutshisa amaKristu. Kwaba kuphela emva kokuba imicimbi ilungisiwe awathi uPawulos wamkelwa libandla lalapho. (IZenzo 9:26-28) Ukuba nawe ngandlel’ ithile uye waba lixhoba lokungaqondwa—mhlawumbi ngenxa yokuhleba okwenzakalisayo—kutheni ungenzi oko unako ukulungisa imicimbi?a
Sekunjalo, ayizizo zonke iingxaki ezicombululeka lula. Maxa wambi kwanolutsha olungamaKristu lubekek’ ityala ngokwakha amaqela angalunganga nangokukhethela abanye ecaleni ngokungekho sikweni. Oku kusenokuba buhlungu gqitha kulowo ukhethelw’ ecaleni. Noko ke, kuyanceda ukukhumbula ukuba njengawe, oontanga bakho baselula yaye kusafuneka bekhulile ngaphambi kokuba bafikelele ebuntwini obukhulu. Ekuhambeni kwexesha baya kukuyeka ukuthanda ukuzikhetha baze banxulumane neqela elithile kuphela. Kodwa de olo lutsha lubonise ngakumbi isimo sengqondo sobuKristu, kulunge ngakumbi ukuba ungazinxulumanisi neqela lalo.—Bona eyesi-2 kuTimoti 2:20, 21.
‘Ukuba Banzi’
Okweli thuba, musa ukuvumela le meko ukuba iyikhathaze intliziyo yakho. Usenokuzama ukuthetha nabazali bakho okanye nomveleli ongumKristu ngako oku. Kwakhona, khumbula ukuba amaKristu ayalelwa ukuba ‘anyamezelane’ kwanaxa kukho isizathu esisengqiqweni sokukhalaza. (Kolose 3:13) UTiffany oselula, ongazange amkeleke kwiqela elithile ukhumbula oku: “Ndathandaza kuYehova ukuze ndibe namandla okunyamezela yaye ndizame ukusebenzisa ingqiqo. Kwakhona ndazama ukungakuvumeli oku ukuba kuzenzakalise gqitha iimvakalelo zam.”
Kwakhona iBhayibhile ikhuthaza amaKristu ukuba ‘abe banzi’ kunxulumano lwawo. (2 Korinte 6:13) Abaphandi uJane Norman noMyron Harris bathi ngamalungu eqela: “Ayabanciphisa abahlobo bawo yaye azivalela ithuba lokufunda indlela abantu abahlukileyo kuwo abacinga ngayo nendlela abazenza ngayo izinto.” Kukho abanye abaninzi—kuquka nabakhulu kunawe—onokukuvuyela ukwakha ubuhlobo kunye nabo.
Ukujamelana Neentsilelo Zakho
Kusenokufuneka ukuba ujamelane nento ebuhlungu enokwenzeka yokuba ube unika abanye abantu izizathu ezibambekayo zokuba bakuphephe. Ngokomzekelo, uDana oselula wafumanisa ukuba wayengafaneleki phakathi kolutsha olungamaKristu olwalukhulile ngokomoya. Ngaba olu lutsha lwaluziphakamisile? Akunjalo, uyavuma ukuba: “Indlela endandithetha ngayo nendandinxiba ngayo yayiyeyehlabathi,” oko kukuthi, yayingafanelekanga kumaKristu. Ngoko ngoxa abanye babenobubele yaye benobuntu kuye, babekuphepha ukunxulumana naye.
UDana wenza iinguqulelo ezithile. Ukhumbula oku: “Ndabona ukuba kwakufuneka ndikhule ngokomoya ukuba ndandiza kufaneleka phakathi kwabo.” Ngaba kufuneka wenze uhlengahlengiso olufanayo? Ukwenjenjalo akusayi kukwenza ukuba ube nobuhlobo nolutsha oluhlonel’ uThixo kuphela kodwa luya kukwenza ukuba ube nobuhlobo noThixo ngenkqu.—Thelekisa IMizekeliso 27:11.
Usenokuba uneempawu zobuqu ezenza ukuba abantu bakuphephe. UWally ukhumbula oku: “Ndandinotyekelo lokuthetha gqitha yaye ndithetha ngezinto abantu abangenamdla ungako kuzo. Ndathi ndakuyiqonda indlela okucaphukisa ngayo oku, ndazama ukubuguqula ubuntu bam. Ndicinga ukuba kwandinceda ukuba ndifaneleke ngakumbi phakathi kwabanye.” Ngokuthetha izinto nabazali bakho okanye nomntu omkhulu omthembileyo, usenokufumanisa ukuba uneentsilelo ezifanayo. Mhlawumbi imicimbi isenokuphuculwa ngokusuka nje ube nobuhlobo okanye ngokuthetha kancinane uze uphulaphule ngakumbi.
Ukungafaneleki phakathi kwabanye, ngoxa kusenokuba buhlungu, ngokuqinisekileyo akubulali. Yaneliseka kukwazi ukuba ukuba unobuntu bokuhlonel’ uThixo yaye unenkathalo ngokwenene ngabantu, akunakuze uswele abahlobo.
[Umbhalo osemazantsi]
a Bona inqaku elithi, “Yintoni Endifanele Ndiyenze Ukuba Abantu Bayandihleba?” kwinkupho yethu ka-Agasti 8, 1989.
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 18]
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