Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . .

Ndinokuqhubana Njani Nabazali Abanamaxesha Okungatyhileki?

UCLAUDIA uthi, “Ingxaki yam kukuba, umama uba phakuphaku aze acaphuke msinya.a Ngenye imini wandibuza indlela ezaziqhuba ngayo izifundo zam zepiyano. Ndamxelela ukuba zazihamba kakuhle ndaza ndaya kuqhubeka nokuqhelisela ukudlala ipiyano. Umama wangena, ngomsindo wathi ndandiqalisa ukuba krwada, waza enomsindo wee gwiqi. Ndacaphuka ndaza ndabetha ngamandla ipiyano ndabaleka ukuya egumbini lam. Umama weza waza wandingxolisa ngokubetha ngamandla ipiyano.”

Abazali basenokuba ngabacaphuka msinya xa bengatyhilekanga. Maxa wambi usenokuvakalelwa kukuba umele uchule ukunyathela xa uphakathi kwabo, ngexhala ulindele ukuba kungekudala uza kugxekwa, ungxoliswe okanye ude ubekwe ityala. Noko ke, inqaku elithi “Kutheni Abazali Bam Benamaxesha Okungatyhileki Kangaka?” kwinkupho eyandulelayo kaVukani! libonise ukuba, kuyinto eqhelekileyo ngabazali ukungatyhileki amaxesha ngamaxesha. Ngokufuthi oku kubangelwa kukucinezeleka, ukudinwa, impilo enkenenkene neengcinezelo zobomi.b Ukukwazi oku kuya kukunceda ukuba ube novelwano ngabazali bakho. (Thelekisa IMizekeliso 19:11.) Kodwa oku akusiguquli isibakala sokuba maxa wambi kusenokuba nzima ukuqhubana nabo. Unokwenza ntoni ukuze uphucule iimeko?

Imiqondiso Elumkisayo

IMizekeliso 24:3 ithi: “Indlu yona yakhiwa ngobulumko; izinziswe ngengqondo.” Ngokuvisisana nalo mgaqo, enye into onokuyenza kukuzama ukuba ngoqondayo xa abazali bakho bengatyhilekanga. Umdumisi edandathekile wathi ngemeko yakhe: “Yonke imini ndihamba-hamba ngezimnyama zokuzila [ndilusizi, NW].” (INdumiso 38:6) Umntu ophawulayo ngokuqinisekileyo wayenokubona ukuba kwakukho into emphazamisileyo! Ngendlela efanayo, umzali ngokuqhelekileyo uya kubonisa imiqondiso ecacileyo yokuba akatyhilekanga.

Ababhali abaselula bencwadi ethi The Kids’ Book About Parents ngenxa yoku babhala phantsi uludwe lwemiqondiso eqhelekileyo yokulumkisa abantu abaselula. Phakathi kwezinto abazikhankanyayo baphawula ukuba abazali ‘babesitya kakhulu, bengathandi ukuthetha, belala ngaphambi kwexesha, bangabulisi xa bevela emsebenzini, bangxolise wonke umntu kabukhali, batyeshele imibuzo yakho,’ baze ‘bandwanye nje kumabonwakude.’ Kwezinye iintsapho, abazali balindelwe ukuba bacaphuke msinya ngamaxesha athile—njengaxa kufuneka kuhlawulwe amatyala. Enoba imeko iyintoni na, ngokuba ngumntu ophawulayo unokuyiqonda imiqondiso elumkisayo yabazali bakho.

‘Ngaba Kukho Into Eyonakeleyo?’

Ngoko ke, unokwenza ntoni xa ubona umzali ethe khunubembe? Ngaba ufanele ubaphephe? Oko akuyomfuneko. IMizekeliso 15:20 ithi: “Unyana olumkileyo uyamvuyisa uyise.” Oku akuthethi kuthi umele uzithwalise uxanduva ngeengxaki zokukhula zabazali bakho. Ngapha koko, mzali ngamnye umele ‘awuthwale owakhe umthwalo.’ (Galati 6:5) Kodwa ubuncinane unako ukubonakalisa umdla kubo. Ngokomzekelo, ngobuchule usenokubuza: ‘Ngaba kukho into eyonakeleyo?’ (Thelekisa uNehemiya 2:1, 2.) Kusenokuba kuncinane okanye kungabikho nto unokuyenza ukuguqula imeko, kodwa basenokuyixabisa inkathalo yakho enothando kwintlalo-ntle yabo.

Nantsi into enconyelwa ngoselula ogama linguKama ekucombululeni imicimbi xa umzali onamaxesha okungatyhileki efika ekhaya: “Emva kokubabulisa, yiya egumbini lakho okwexeshana, de bazinze. Yandula ke uphume uze ubuze ukuba kukho into eyonakeleyo na uze ubuze ukuba lube njani na usuku lwabo . . . Khangela ukuba akukho nto abafuna uyenze kusini na.” Maxa wambi, ukubonisa nje uthando okanye inkathalo kulo mzali kunokumenza anyibilike.

Kwincwadi yakhe ethi My Parents Are Driving Me Crazy, uGqr. Joyce Vedral uchaza indlela intombazana ekwishumi elivisayo egama linguDeena eyasabela ngayo kunina owayengatyhilekanga. UDeena uthi: “Xa ndandiphuma [egumbini lam] ndaza ndabona obo buso bakhe bungatyhilekanga, ndambamba ndaza ndamanga ngaphambi kokuba enze nantoni na eyayinokundithintela. Ndandula ke ndamncamisa ndaze ndathi, ‘Mama, ndiyakuthanda.’ Akwaba wawuyibonile indlela awanyibilika ngayo—ngephanyazo nje.” UGqr. Vedral uqukumbela athi: “Iyeza eligqibeleleyo kumzali ocaphuka msinya luthando. . . . Uthando yeyona nto ilungisa izinto.” IBhayibhile ikubeka oku ngale ndlela: “Ke lona uthando luyakha.”—1 Korinte 8:1.

Noko ke, maxa wambi, abazali bakho babonakala becatshukiswa nguwe. Ukuba akuqinisekanga ngesizathu, zama ukuthetha nabazali bakho ukuze bazithethe phandle naziphi na izikhalazo zabo. (Thelekisa IMizekeliso 20:5.) Ngokomzekelo, intombazana eselula egama linguRuth, yaphawula ukuba “kwakuvuleka umsantsa” phakathi kwayo noyise nokuba uyise wayesoloko ewagxeka ngokungekho ngqiqweni amanqaku eyayiwafumana esikolweni. Emva kwengxubusho yentsapho kwelinye lamanqaku athi “Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . . ,” uRuth wabuza uyise into eyayimkhathaza. “Safumanisa ukuba uTata wayezama ukuphumelela ngabantwana bakhe, ekubeni yena wanyanzeleka ukuba ayeke esikolweni. Wayefuna thina sibe nengxelo yesikolo esemagqabini.” Xa uRuth wayefumana amanqaku angaphantsi kwawayewalindele, wayesiba nomsindo. Waba yintoni umphumo wengxubusho yabo? Uthi: “Yandinceda ndazijonga izinto ngokwendlela yakhe.” Enyanisweni, noyise kwafuneka enze uhlengahlengiso oluthile kwindlela awayecinga ngayo. URuth uthi: “Ngoku izinto ziqalisa ukulunga.”

Ngokuba nencoko efanayo, usenokufumanisa ukuba abazali bakho banezizathu ezivakalayo zokucatshukiswa nguwe. Kusenokuba yinto nje encinane efana nokulibala ukwenza umsetyenzana wasekhaya othile obuwuthunyiwe. IMizekeliso 10:5 iyasikhumbuza: “Obutha ehlotyeni ngunyana onengqiqo; owozela ngexa lokuvuna ngunyana odanisayo.” Mhlawumbi ukuba nenzondelelo engakumbi kwakho kunokunceda ngakumbi ukuphucula ukungatyhileki kwabazali bakho.

Yenza Ngobulumko!

Noko ke, maxa wambi umzali usenokuba akatyekelanga ekuzithetheni ngokuphandle izinto, ibe yonke imigudu yokumkhuthaza ukuba enjenjalo inokuhlangatyezwa ngomsindo okanye ixhathiswe. Ngoko umele wenze ntoni? IBhayibhile isichazela indlela uDavide ngoxa wayeselula, awahlangabezana ngayo nemeko efanayo yokungatyhileki. Njengoselula uDavide wayesebenza njengemvumi kwibhotwe likaKumkani uSawule. Noke ke, uSawule wayesoloko enamaxesha okungatyhileki yaye esiba lugcwabevu ngumsindo. Kaloku, ngesinye isihlandlo uSawule wazama ukumhlabanisela uDavide ngomkhonto eludongeni! Noko ke, phawula oko kuthethwa yiBhayibhile kweyoku-1 kaSamuweli 18:14 ngehambo kaDavide: “UDavide wenza ngengqiqo ezindleleni zakhe zonke, uYehova waye enaye.”

Bambalwa abazali abasenokuba ngabaguquguquka msinya njengoKumkani uSawule. Sekunjalo, kusenokufuneka ube nobulumko xa uqhubana nabo. Ngokomzekelo, uSam oselula uthi: “Utata wam akangomKristu, ibe uba nomsindo kakhulu! Xa esilwa, uqalisa ukungxola. Ngokwenene umele ulumkele oko ukuthethayo nokwenzayo. Umele uzame ukungamcaphukisi.” IBhayibhile ikubeka ngale ndlela oku: “Onobuqili ubona into embi, azifihle.”—IMizekeliso 22:3.

Oku akuthethi kuthi umele ubaphephe abazali bakho. Zama ukuba nobubele uze ubonakalise ubuhlobo kangangoko unako. Ukuba uxhokonxa umzali ocaphuka msinya ngemibuzo engeyomfuneko okanye ngeengxakana ezincinane ezisenokuthethwa ngelinye ixesha, usenokuba uzinqikela ilitye elineembovane. (Thelekisa IMizekeliso 15:23; 25:11.) Eneneni, xa bengonwabanga yaye bediniwe, basenokude bazive njengendoda elilungisa uYobhi xa yabuza isithi: “Kunini na nisenza isingqala kumphefumlo wam?” (Yobhi 19:2) Ngoko ke uyakuba ulumkile xa uphepha nayiphi na imikhwa ecaphukisayo noyaziyo ukuba iyabacaphukisa abazali bakho—efana nokunqakraza intshungama okanye ukwenza ingxolo ngokunqokra iminwe. Ngokufanayo, ibiya kuba kukungabacingeli ukudlala istereo sakho okanye umabonwakude ngesona sandi siphakamileyo.

Enye indlela yokwenza ngobulumko kukuthabatha inyathelo lokuqala. Ngaba uMama usoloko engatyhilekanga xa evela emsebenzini? Ukuba ufika kuqala ekhaya, kutheni ungalungisi itafile, uchithe inkunkuma okanye uhlambe izitya? Mbulise ngothando umama wakho. Izenzo ezinjalo zinokumenza akuvuyele ukugoduka. Enye intombazana ekwishumi elivisayo egama linguJulie ikwenza kuqala oku. Ithi: “Umama ungumqhubi kadula-dula wabantwana besikolo, ibe maxa wambi udla ngokufika ecaphukile. Ngoko ndiye ndizenze ongaboniyo. Ndisuka nje ndihambele kude kuye de anyibilike. Ndiye ndimgcinele abantwana okanye ndicoce okanye ndimenzele enye into.”

Nokuba sele uzama kangangoko ukuziphepha, ezinye iimbambano phantse ngokuqinisekileyo ziya kulandela xa abazali becaphuka msinya. Xa oku kusenzeka, ukusebenzisa imigaqo yeBhayibhile kunokukunceda uphephe ukuyenza ibe mandundu imeko. Ngokomzekelo, IMizekeliso 15:1 ithi: “Impendulo ethambileyo ibuyisa ubushushu; ilizwi elidubulayo linyusa umsindo.” Isikhokelo esibhekele phaya sichazwe kwiMizekeliso 17:27, efundeka ngolu hlobo: “Owanqandayo amazwi akhe unokwazi: omoya upholileyo yindoda enengqondo.” Kwakhona, khumbula ukuba, nangona abazali benamaxesha okungatyhileki, kusenokuba banamaxesha okuvuya, nokuchwayita ngenxa yobukho bakho. Wavuyele loo maxesha, uze uwasebenzise njengethuba lokuhlakulela ulwalamano olulungileyo nabazali bakho. Aya kwenza amaxesha anzima angabi nzima kakhulu.

[Imibhalo esemazantsi]

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 25]

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