Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . .

Oomama Abangatshatanga Bangayisingatha Njani Ngeyona Ndlela Ilungileyo Imeko Yabo?

ULINDA wayeneemvakalelo ezahlukahlukeneyo eziquka umothuko, ukwaliwa, uloyiko, umsindo, nokuphelelwa lithemba.a Uvavanyo lwaqinisekisa olona loyiko lwakhe lubi gqitha—wayeneenyanga ezintathu ekhulelwe. Engatshatanga yaye eneminyaka eli-15 kuphela ubudala, uLinda ngomnye nje wesigidi sabeshumi elivisayo abamithayo eUnited States. Noko ke, ukumitha kwabeshumi elivisayo, yingxaki yehlabathi lonke, egubungela onke amaqela eentlanga kwezentlalo nakwezoqoqosho.

Wambi amantombazana akwishumi elivisayo acinga ukuba ukumitha kuya kuwasindisa kubomi bekhaya obungonwabisiyo okanye kuya kulomeleza ulwalamano lwawo naloo makhwenkwe athandana nawo. Wambi amjonga umntwana njengomqondiso wokubaluleka okanye okuthile anokukuphatha aze akuthande. Noko ke, amava abuhlungu okuba ngumzali ongatshatanga, kungekudala aya kuziphelisa ezo ngcamango zentelekelelo. Umama ongatshatanga uyanyanzeleka ukuba enze ukhetho olunzima, ngokufuthi olubuhlungu. Kwakhona usenokujamelana neengxaki zoqoqosho, umvandedwa, ubulolo, noxanduva lokukhulisa umntwana ngaphandle kweqabane. Ngoko, ngesizathu esilungileyo, uMdali wethu uyalela amaKristu ukuba ‘awubaleke umbulo,’ kuquka isini sangaphambi komtshato.—1 Korinte 6:18; Isaya 48:17.

Ukuziphatha okubi ngokwesini akwamkelekanga phakathi kwamaNgqina kaYehova. (1 Korinte 5:11-13) Nakuba kunjalo, phakathi kwawo kukho oomama abaselula abangatshatanga. Bambi bamitha ngaphambi kokufunda ngemilinganiselo kaThixo. Bambi bakhuliswa njengamaKristu, kodwa bawela ekuziphatheni okubi. Bambi, emva kokuba bohlwayiwe libandla, bayaguquka kwizenzo zabo eziphosakeleyo. Luluphi uncedo nolwalathiso olunikelwa liLizwi likaThixo kulutsha olunjalo?b

Ngaba Ndingatshata Noyise?

IBhayibhile iyenza icace into yokuba ukuqhomfa kuchasene nomthetho kaThixo. (Eksodus 20:13; thelekisa iEksodus 21:22, 23; INdumiso 139:14-16.) Kwakhona ifundisa ukuba umama ongatshatanga unembopheleleko yokulungiselela umntwana wakhe, phezu kwazo nje iimeko ezingathandekiyo afunyenwe phantsi kwazo umntwana. (1 Timoti 5:8) Ubukhulu becala, kuhle ngentombazana ukuba izikhulisele umntwana ngokwayo kunokuphisa ngaye.c

Ngenxa yeenzima ezinokuziswa kukuzikhulisela umntwana ngokwakhe, bambi oomama basenokucinga ukuba kunokuba bubulumko ukutshata noyise womntwana. Kodwa uninzi loobawo abakwishumi elivisayo phantse baziva bengenambopheleleko emntwaneni nakunina. Ngaphezu koko, inkoliso yoobawo abaselula isekubudala bokuhamba isikolo yaye ayisebenzi. Ukungenela oko omnye umphengululi wakubiza ngokuba “ngumtshato osenokungazinzi othatyathwe ngokukhethekileyo ukuthintela ukuzala ngaphandle komtshato” kuphela kunokuyenza mandundu le meko imbi kakade. Kwakhona khumbula ukuba iBhayibhile iyalela amaKristu ukuba atshate “ngokwaseNkosini.” (1 Korinte 7:39) Ekuqonda oku, uLinda (okhankanywe ekuqaleni) wagqiba kwelokuba angatshati noyise womntwana wakhe oneminyaka eli-18 ubudala. Ucacisa esenjenje: “Wayengenamdla kuThixo okanye eBhayibhileni.”

Oku akuthethi kuthi umele umphose kwelokulibala ubawo oselula. Njengokuba umntwana oselula ekhula, usenokufuna ukwazi uyise omzeleyo. Okanye kusenokwenzeka ukuba ubawo oselula okanye abazali bakhe ngokunyanisekileyo baziva benembopheleleko yokuba nolwalamano nomntwana okanye banikele inkxaso ngokwasemalini. Phofu ke, abazali bentombazana basenokukhetha ukuba ingabi nanto yakwenza nomfana lowo. (1 Tesalonika 4:3) Noko ke, kwamanye amazwe, iinkundla ziye zanika oobawo abangatshatanga amalungelo angokwasemthethweni afanayo nalawo oobawo abatshatileyo. Ukulondoloza ulwalamano oluhle nobawo ongatshatanga kunye nentsapho yakowabo kusenokuthintela idabi elikrakra lelungelo lokugcinwa komntwana.d Ngoxa unxibelelwano oluthile nobawo oselula lusenokuba yimfuneko, alumele lube kwimo yabantu abathandanayo okanye esenokubangela ukulalanisa. Ukubekw’ esweni ngumntu omkhulu kudla ngokucebiseka.

Ukufumana Uncedo

Incwadi ethi Surviving Teen Pregnancy ithi: “Xa ugqiba ngokumgcina uze umkhulise umntwana wakho, unyula ukuba ngumntu omkhulu ngephanyazo. . . . Unyula ukulahla inxalenye yakho ebingakhathali, ingenazimbopheleleko zingako.” Ngaloo ndlela umzali okwishumi elivisayo ufuna uncedo nenkxaso. Ukufunda uncwadi olufanelekileyo lwezamayeza (olusenokufumaneka ngokulula kumzi wogcino-zincwadi kawonke wonke) kunokuba luncedo kakhulu kumama oselula ophakuzelayo ukuze akhe intembelo kubuchule bakhe bokunyamekela umntwana.

Eyona nto ixabiseke ngokukhethekileyo yinkxaso yabazali. Umama kabani usenokuba sisisele senyathi ngamava okukhulisa umntwana. Kuyinyaniso ukuba, kusenokungabi lula ukucela uncedo. Abazali bentombazana basenokuba basakhathazekile yaye banomsindo. Kwakhona basenokoyika ukuba ukumitha kunokuyichaphazela kakubi indlela abaphila ngayo. UDonna oneminyaka eli-17 ubudala ukhumbula oku: “Abazali bam babekhathazekile kuba babezenza zonke izinto ababefuna ukuzenza. Ngoku bathi abakwazi ngenxa yokuba ndinalo mntwana.” Ekuhambeni kwexesha inkoliso yabazali iyazoyisa iimvakalelo ezibuhlungu ize ikulungele ukunceda ngandlel’ ithile. Osemtsha oguqukayo unokwenza unako nako ekudambiseni uxinezeleko ngokuyamkela intlungu aye wayibangela aze acele uxolo ngokunyanisekileyo.—Thelekisa uLuka 15:21.

Kuthekani ukuba abazali bentombazana bayala ukunceda okanye abanakukwazi konke konke ukuyivumela iqhubeke ihlala nabo? Kumazwe apho amaziko karhulumente anikela uncedo kubantu abahlelelekileyo, umama ongatshatanga kusenokunyanzeleka afumane olo ncedo—ubuncinane ekuqaleni. IBhayibhile iyawavumela amaKristu ukuba awaxhamle amalungiselelo anjalo. Noko ke, oku kuya kuthetha ukuqingqa imali ngokungqongqo. USharon oneminyaka eli-17 ubudala uthi: “Kubonakala ukuba eyona ngxaki yam inkulu yimali. Ndinokuthenga ukutya nezishuba, kodwa emva koko ndisale ndingenayo nepeni emdaka.” Ekuhambeni kwexesha kusenokufuneka usebenze. Ukuzama ukusingatha ukuba ngumama, umsebenzi, nemisebenzi yokomoya ngeyona ndlela ilungeleleneyo akuyi kuba lula, kodwa abanye bakwazile ukwenjenjalo.

Ukusebenzisa Ubulumko Nengqiqo Ekuhlaleni Kunye

Ukuba abazali bakabani bayavuma, kusenokubakho iingenelo zokuhlala ekhaya kunokuzama ukuziphilela. Ngokuqhelekileyo ukuhlala ekhaya akunazindleko zingako. Ngokubhekele phaya, imekobume eqhelekileyo yasekhaya inokukwenza uzive ukhuselekile yaye unqabisekile. Kwakhona ukuhlala ekhaya kunokwenza kube lula ngentombazana ukuba iqhubeke ihamba isikolo. Ngokuphumelela kwisikolo semfundo yamabanga aphakamileyo, intombazana iwaphucula gqitha amathuba ayo okubhungca kubomi bobuhlwempu.e

Kambe ke, ukwanda kwentsapho ekhaya kunokudala ingcinezelo nobunzima kubo bonke ababandakanyekileyo. Umama ongatshatanga kusenokufuneka ahlale kwindawo exineneyo. Abazali nabanye abantwana entsatsheni kusenokufuneka bakuqhele ukuphazanyiswa ebuthongweni ngenxa yokukhala komntwana. Indlela ekwenziwa ngayo izinto yintsapho isenokuphazanyiswa. Kodwa IMizekeliso 24:3 ithi: “Indlu yona yakhiwa ngobulumko; izinziswe ngengqondo.” Ewe, ukuba bonke ababandakanyekileyo babonakalisa uthando lokungazingci nolwazelelelo, ukruthakruthwano entsatsheni lunokuncitshiswa.

Kwakhona iingxaki ziya kuvela xa umama oselula ezama ukubaleka ukuthwala umthwalo wakhe wembopheleleko aze alindele umakhulu ukuba enze wonke umsebenzi. (Thelekisa amaGalati 6:5.) Okanye kusenokwenzeka ukuba umakhulu oneenjongo ezintle ayalele indlela yokunyamekela umzukulwana wakhe. Iphawula oku incwadi ethi Facing Teenage Pregnancy: “Oomakhulu abakhulisa umntwana wentombazana engatshatanga ngokungathi ngowabo basenokongezelela kungquzulwano lwentsapho nokudideka emntwaneni.” Ngoxa uncedo nenkxaso yoomakhulu ibaluleke gqitha, iZibhalo ziyabela abazali imbopheleleko yokukhulisa umntwana. (Efese 6:1, 4) Unxibelelwano olukhululekileyo nentsebenziswano lunokwenza lukhulu ekuthinteleni ukungaqondani.—IMizekeliso 15:22.

Akuwedwa

Nangona ukuba nomntwana ngaphandle kweqhina lomtshato kunzima, akunakwenza ubani alahle ithemba. UThixo ‘ubaxolela ngokukhulu’ abo baguqukayo kwizenzo zabo ezingendawo. (Isaya 55:7) Ukucamngca ngoku kunokumnceda umama ongatshatanga oyise iimvakalelo zokuzicekisa ezisenokuvela maxa wambi. Xa eziva edimazekile, unokwayama ngoYehova aze aye kuye ngomthandazo. Kwakhona unokucela uncedo lukaThixo ekukhuliseni umntwana wakhe.—Thelekisa ABagwebi 13:8.

Kwakhona uYehova unikela inkxaso ngebandla lamaKristu. Nangona amaNgqina kaYehova engakubethi ngoyaba ukuziphatha okubi, abonisa ulwazelelelo kwabo bathi ngokuguquka benze iinguqulelo ebomini babo ukuze bakholise uThixo. (Roma 15:7; Kolose 1:10) Bambi ebandleni basenokushukunyiselwa ukufumana iindlela ezisengqiqweni zokunikela uncedo olusebenzisekayo kumzali ongatshatanga. (Thelekisa iDuteronomi 24:17-20; Yakobi 1:27.) Ubuncinane, banokuba ngabahlobo baze babe ngabaphulaphuli abanovelwano xa kuyimfuneko. (IMizekeliso 17:17) Nangona abazali benza isono esinzulu, umntwana akanatyala. Ngoko ibandla linokunceda ukuba umama ubonakalisa isimo sengqondo esihle.

Hayi indlela ekulunge ngakumbi ngayo ukungayaphuli kwasekuqaleni imithetho kaThixo! Kodwa abo bonayo baza baguquka kwikhondo labo eliphosakeleyo, baza benza ngokuvisisana nenguquko, banokuqiniseka ukuba uYehova uya kubanceda ekuyisingatheni ngeyona ndlela ilungileyo imeko abakuyo.

[Imibhalo esemazantsi]

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 17]

Umama ongatshatanga ufuna uncedo nenkxaso