Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . .
Ndinokuyeka Njani Ukuzenzakalisa?
“Intlungu endandikuyo, ndandingakwazi nokuyinyamezela. Kodwa ndafumanisa ukuba ikho into endikwaziyo ukuyinyamezela—iingqaqambo.”—UJennifer, oneminyaka engama-20 ubudala.a
“Xa ndandicaphukile, ndandizisika. Leyo yindlela endandilila ngayo. Emva koko, kwakusithi qabu.”—UJessica, oneminyaka eli-17 ubudala.
“Ndineeveki ezimbini ngoku ndingasazisiki. Lixesha elide elo kum. Andiqondi ukuba ndiya kuze ndiyeke ngokupheleleyo.”—UJamie, oneminyaka eli-16 ubudala.
UJENNIFER, uJessica, noJamie abazani, kodwa banezinto ezininzi abafana ngazo. Bobathathu babandezelekile ngokweemvakalelo. Yaye bobathathu bayicombulula ngendlela efanayo ingxaki abanayo. UJennifer, uJessica, noJamie bafumana isiqabu sokwexeshana kwiingxaki zabo ngokuzenzakalisa.b
Nangona kubonakala kuyinto engabhadlanga ukuzenzakalisa—okuquka ukuzisika okanye ukuzicenta—okothusayo kukuba kuyinto eqhelekileyo kulutsha olukwishumi elivisayo nakwabo bathe dlundlu. INational Post yaseKhanada ithi oku “kuyaboyikisa abazali, kuyawothusa amagosa [emfundo] yaye kuyingxaki koogqirha.” Kwakhona le ncwadi ithi ukuzenzakalisa “kusenokuba ngowona mkhwa ekunzima ukuwuyeka ogqirha abawaziyo.” Ngaba wena okanye umhlobo wakho uye waba likhoboka lalo mkhwa? Ukuba kunjalo, yintoni onokuyenza xa unale ngxaki?
Okokuqala, qonda isizathu sokuba uzive unyanzelekile ukuba uzenzakalise. Khumbula ukuba, abantu abazisiki nje kuba bephazamisekile. Ngokuqhelekileyo, le yindlela nje yokumelana nokuxinezeleka. Umntu ozisikayo uzivisa ubuhlungu emzimbeni ukuze athomalalise intlungu engokwemvakalelo. Ngoko ke, zibuze: ‘Kundinceda ngantoni ukuzenzakalisa? Ndicinga ntoni xa ndifuna ukuzisika?’ Ngaba unengxaki ebomini bakho—mhlawumbi ingxaki kowenu okanye yomhlobo wakho—ekubangela uxinezeleke?
Ngokungathandabuzekiyo kufuna inkalipho ukuze uzigocagoce. Kodwa oko kunokuba nemiphumo emihle. Amaxesha amaninzi, eli iba linyathelo lokuqala ukuba ufuna ukuyeka ukuzenzakalisa. Noko ke, kuninzi ekufuneka sikwenzile kunokuchaza nje oonobangela balo mkhwa.
Ukubaluleka Kokuzityand’ igila
Ngoko ke, ukuba unengxaki yokuzenzakalisa, uya kuncedakala xa uthetha ngayo kumhlobo omthembileyo noqolileyo. Umzekeliso weBhayibhile uthi: “Amaxhala ayamtyhafisa umntu; ke wona amazwi enkuthazo ayahlaziya.” (IMizekeliso 12:25, IBhayibhile yesiXhosa yowe-1996) Ukuzityand’ igila kunokwenza ufumane amazwi entuthuzelo avela kwabanye, nto leyo oyifunayo.—IMizekeliso 25:11.
Ngubani ofanele uye kuye xa unale ngxaki? Kungaluncedo ukukhetha umntu omdala onobulumko, oqolileyo, nonothando. AmaKristu anokuncedwa nangabadala bebandla, ‘abanjengendawo yokuzimela umoya nendawo yokuzifihla esiphangweni, nabanjengemisinga yamanzi kwilizwe elingumqwebedu, nanjengomthunzi wengxondorha enkulu kwilizwe elibharhileyo.’—Isaya 32:2.
Kuyavunywa ukuba, ukuxelela omnye umntu ukuba uyazenzakalisa kusenokungabi lula. Usenokuvakalelwa ngendlela awaziva ngayo uSara. Uthi: “Ekuqaleni, ndakufumanisa kunzima ukuthemba omnye umntu. Ndandicinga ukuba emva kokuba abantu bendazile ukuba ndinale ngxaki babeza kundicaphukela.” Noko ke, xa wada wazityand’ igila uSara wayiqonda inyaniso eseBhayibhileni ekwiMizekeliso 18:24 ethi: “Kukho umhlobo onamathela ngokusondele ngakumbi kunomntakwenu.” Uthi: “AmaKristu aqolileyo endazityand’ igila kuwo akazange andigculele xa ndandiwaxelela ngalo mkhwa wokuzenzakalisa. Kunoko, andinika amacebiso aluncedo. Aqiqa kunye nam esebenzisa iZibhalo. Ngomonde andikhuthaza xa ndandiziva ndidandathekile kwaye ndingaxabisekanga.”
Kutheni ungayincokoli nomnye umntu ingxaki onayo yokuzenzakalisa? Ukuba uziva ungakwazi ukuncokola ngale ngxaki nijongene naloo mntu, zama ukubhala ileta okanye uthethe ngefowuni. Ukuzityand’ igila kunokuba luncedo ukuze uchache. UJennifer uthi: “Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukwazi ukuba kukho umntu ondixhalabeleyo, nokuba ukho umntu endinokuthetha naye xa ndiziva ndidandathekile.”c
Ukubaluleka Komthandazo
UDonna wayebonakala engenakuncedakala kule ngxaki. Kodwa ke, wayeziva efuna uncedo lukaThixo. Kwelinye icala, wayecinga ukuba uThixo akasayi kumxhasa de ahlukane nokuzisika. Yintoni eyanceda uDonna? Eyona nto yamncedayo kukucamngca ngeyoku-1 yeziKronike 29:17 ethi uYehova “ungumgocagoci wentliziyo.” UDonna uthi: “UYehova uyayazi ukuba ndikufuna ngokwenene ukuyeka ukuzisika. Emva kokuba ndithandazele uncedo lwakhe, ndamangaliswa. Ngokuthe ngcembe, ndazimisela ngakumbi ukuwuyeka lo mkhwa.”
Umdumisi uDavide, owakha wasebunzimeni uthi: “Umthwalo wakho wulahlele kuYehova, yaye yena wokuxhasa.” (INdumiso 55:22) Ewe, uYehova uyabazi ubunzima okubo. Ukongezelela koko, ‘ukukhathalele.’ (1 Petros 5:7) Ukuba intliziyo yakho iyakugweba, khumbula ukuba uThixo ‘mkhulu kunentliziyo yakho yaye wazi zonke izinto.’ Ewe, uyasiqonda isizathu sokuba uzenzakalise nokuba kutheni kunzima nje ukuyeka. (1 Yohane 3:19, 20) Ukuba uthetha naye ngomthandazo uze uzame ngentliziyo yakho yonke ukwahlukana nalo mkhwa, uya “kukunceda ngokwenene.”—Isaya 41:10.
Noko ke, kuthekani ukuba uye uvukwe likakade? Ngaba oko kuthetha ukuba akuphumelelanga kumzamo wakho? Akunjalo! IMizekeliso 24:16 ithi: “Ilungisa lisenokuwa kasixhenxe, yaye ngokuqinisekileyo liya kuvuka.” Ecinga ngaloo ndinyana, uDonna uthi: “Ndandivukwa likakade ngaphezu kwezihlandlo ezisixhenxe, kodwa andizange ndinikezele.” UDonna wafumanisa ukuba ukuzingisa kubalulekile. UKaren wenza okufanayo. Uthi: “Ndazifundisa ukukujonga ukubuyela kulo mkhwa njengengxaki nje yokwexeshana, kungekhona njengokungaphumeleli, yaye ndandiphinda ndizame.”
Xa Kufuneka Uncedo Olungakumbi
UYesu waqonda ukuba ‘kwabo bagulayo ugqirha uyafuneka.’ (Marko 2:17) Kwiimeko ezininzi kuye kufuneke ukuba umntu onjalo aye kugqirha akhangele ukuba akukho kuphazamiseka na engqondweni ukuze anyangwe.d UJennifer wakhetha ukufumana uncedo olunjalo, ukongezelela kolo wayelufumana kubadala abanothando abangamaKristu. Uthi: “Abaveleli abangabo oogqirha, kodwa baye bandikhuthaza. Nangona maxa wambi ndikhe ndivukwe likakade, ngoncedo lukaYehova, olwebandla, nobuchule endiye ndabufunda ukuze ndimelane nako, ndiye ndakwazi ukuzinqanda ukuba ndingaphindi.”e
Qiniseka ukuba unokukoyisa ukuzenzakalisa. Yaye cinga indlela oya konwaba ngayo ukuba unokuwoyisa ngokupheleleyo lo mkhwa uze wenze nje enye into eya kukwenza uzive wanelisekile. Thandaza njengomdumisi owathi: “Wazinzise ngokuqinileyo amanyathelo am elizwini lakho, yaye ngamana ndingangalawulwa lulo naluphi na uhlobo lwento eyenzakalisayo.” (INdumiso 119:133) Ngokuqinisekileyo uya kuziva wanelisekile uze uzihlonele xa uye wakwazi ukuwulwa lo mkhwa ukuze ungaphinde ukulawule.
[Imibhalo esemazantsi]
a Amanye amagama kweli nqaku atshintshiwe.
b Ukuze ufumane inkcazelo engakumbi ngokuzenzakalisa—izinto ezibandakanyekileyo nokuba oku kubangelwa yintoni—funda inqaku elithi “Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . . Kutheni Ndizenzakalisa?” kwinkupho kaVukani! kaJanuwari 2006.
c Ngamanye amaxesha unokuziqhelisa ukuyichaza indlela ovakalelwa ngayo ngokuyibhala phantsi. Ababhali beendumiso zeBhayibhileni babevakalelwa nzulu ngezinto yaye basebenzisa amazwi ukuchaza intlungu yabo, umsindo, ukudandatheka, nokudakumba kwabo. Ngokomzekelo, siyakucela ukuba uhlole INdumiso 6, 13, 42, 55, neyama-69.
d Maxa wambi ukuzenzakalisa kubangelwa yenye into, njengokuxinezeleka, ukuphazamiseka ngokweemvakalelo, ukuba likhoboka lento ethile, okanye ingxaki yokutya kakhulu. UVukani! akancomeli luhlobo luthile lonyango. AmaKristu afanele aqiniseke ukuba naluphi na unyango alukhethayo alungqubani nemigaqo yeBhayibhile.
e Iinkupho ezandulelayo zikaVukani! zinamanqaku athetha ngonoobangela bokuzenzakalisa. Ngokomzekelo, bona olu ngcelele lwamanqaku athi “Ukuqonda Ingxaki Yeemvakalelo” (Januwari 8, 2004), “Ukunceda Umlisela Nomthinjana Oxinezelekileyo” (Septemba 8, 2001), “Yintoni Kanye Le Ibangela Iingxaki Zokutya?” (Februwari 8, 1999), nothi “Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . . Ndinokuhlangabezana Njani Nemeko Yokuba Nomzali Olikhoboka Lotywala?” (Agasti 8, 1992).
OFANELE UCINGE NGAKO
◼ Yintoni onokuyenza xa udandathekile kunokuba uzisike?
◼ Ngubani onokuzityand’ igila kuye ukuba unengxaki yokuzisika?
[Ibhokisi/Umfanekiso okwiphepha 20]
UKUNCEDA UMNTU OZENZAKALISAYO
Ungalinceda njani ilungu lentsapho okanye umhlobo onengxaki yokuzenzakalisa? Ekubeni umntu onale ngxaki esenokumfuna ngokwenene umntu anokuzityand’ igila kuye, usenokumxelela ukuba ukulungele ukumphulaphula. Zama ukuba ‘liqabane lokwenyaniso elizalelwe ixesha lokubandezeleka.’ (IMizekeliso 17:17) Kuyavunywa ukuba, ekuqaleni usenokucaphuka yaye usenokufuna ukuba ayeke ngokukhawuleza ukuzisika. Kodwa oko kusenokumenza lo mntu abe ngunkom’ idla yodwa. Ngapha koko, kufuneka okungakumbi kunokuxelela nje umntu ukuba makayeke ukuzenzakalisa. Kufuneka sibe ngabantu abaqondayo ukuze sincede umntu ozenzakalisayo afunde iindlela ezintsha zokumelana nale ngxaki. (IMizekeliso 16:23) Kwakhona kusenokuthath’ ixesha. Ngoko ke, kufuneka ube nomonde. ‘Khawuleza ukuva, ucothe ukuthetha.’—Yakobi 1:19.
Ukuba uselula, sukucinga ukuba ungakwazi ukumnceda umntu ozenzakalisayo. Khumbula ukuba, loo mntu usenokuba unengxaki okanye akaphilanga, ufuna unyango oluthile. Kwakhona, ukuzenzakalisa kunokusongela ubomi—nakuba loo mntu engenazo ezo njongo. Ngoko ke, kusenokuba bubulumko ukumkhuthaza umntu onaloo ngxaki ukuba ayithethe kumntu omdala, nonenkathalo.
[Imifanekiso ekwiphepha 19]
Kubalulekile ukuzityand’ igila kumhlobo okanye kwilungu lentsapho nokuthandaza xa unengxaki yokuzenzakalisa