Iindawo Zokunyamekela Abantu Abagulela Ukufa—Yintoni Injongo Yazo?
“Umama wam oneminyaka engama-94 ubudala owayenesifo sika-Alzheimer nesifo sentliziyo wayegulel’ ukufa. Wayengakufuni ukutya yaye engafuni nokuvuswa. Esibhedlele ndachazelwa ukuba umama akakho zingqondweni. Ndandifuna ukumsa ekhaya ndize ndimnyamekele kodwa ndandifuna uncedo.”—UJeanne.
UKUGULELA ukufa akuyongxaki nje kulowo ugulayo kodwa kuyiyo nakwintsapho iphela. Izalamane kuye kufuneke zenze izigqibo ezinzima. Xa sekubonakala ukuba akukho themba, ngaba zifanele ziqhubeke zimonga naxa ukwenjenjalo kumenza abe sezintlungwini ngokungeyomfuneko? Okanye ngaba zifanele zimonge kangangoko kunokwenzeka ngoxa esaphila?
Abaninzi baye bakhethe ukuzonga ngokwabo izalamane zabo ezigulayo. Olu hlobo lokonga lujoliswe kakhulu ekuxhaseni ngokweemvakalelo, ekwakheni elukholweni, ekuchitheni ixesha kunye nasekunyamekeleni imeko yezimali yabantu abagulela ukufa. Injongo kukunciphisa iintlungu zalowo ugulayo. Namhlanje olu hlobo lonyango lufumaneka phantse kwisiqingatha samazwe ehlabathi. Ngokomzekelo, ngenxa yokwanda kwabantu baseAfrika abanoGawulayo nomhlaza, amazwe amaninzi alapho sele esebenzisa olu hlobo lonyango okanye enza iinzame zokuluqalisa.
Injongo Yolu Nyango
Ezinye izigulana zinokuvakalelwa kukuba ukusebenzisa olu hlobo lonyango kuyafana nokufa. Amalungu entsapho asenokucinga ukuba ukonga umntu ngolu hlobo kufana nokungathi sele emncamile yaye alinde nje ukuba afe. Noko ke, ukonga umntu ngolu hlobo akuthethi loo nto. Kunoko, ukuba kunye nentsapho yaso kangangoko kunokwenzeka kunokusinceda isigulana. Kwakhona kunokuvulela intsapho yaso ithuba lokusonga nelokusithuthuzela.
Nangona olu hlobo lonyango lungamphilisi ngokupheleleyo umntu ogulel’ ukufa, lunako ukunyanga izigulo ezinjengenyumoniya okanye iingxaki zesinyi. Ukuba imeko yesigulana iyatshintsha—ngokomzekelo, xa kufumaneka iyeza lokunyanga eso sifo okanye xa isigulana sichacha—sinokuphinda sinyangwe ngendlela eqhelekileyo.
Iingenelo Zokunyanyekelwa Ekhaya
Kwamanye amazwe olu hlobo lonyango kuthethwe ngalo ngasentla lufumaneka ezibhedlele kuphela. Noko ke, kwezinye iindawo amalungu entsapho ayakwazi ukunyamekela izigulana ngoxa zisekhaya. Xa umntu ogulayo esekhaya, uyakwazi ukuba nenxaxheba kwizinto ezenziwa yintsapho. Ukuzinyamekela ngoxa zisekhaya izigulana kuyavumelana nezithethe zamazwe amaninzi njengaseUganda, apho kulisiko ukuba ibe yintsapho enyamekela amalungu ayo xa egula okanye alupheleyo.
Xa isigulana sisekhaya, abo basinyamekelayo banokumane bebiza ugqirha, umongikazi okanye unontlalo-ntle. Ezi zazi ngonyango zinokufundisa abo banyamekela isigulana indlela yokusonga zize zicacise oko bafanele bakulindele xa sisweleka. Kwakhona zinokuxhasa izigqibo zesigulana nezentsapho. Ngokomzekelo, ezi zazi aziyi kuqhubeka zisinyanga okanye zisityisa ngemibhobho isigulana xa singasakwazi ukuhlafuna okanye xa intsapho isithi zifanele zingakwenzi oko.
UDolores noJean bamongela ekhaya utata wabo oneminyaka engama-96 ubudala. Ngenxa yokuba imeko katata wabo iya isiba maxongo, bayaluxabisa uncedo abalufumanayo. UDolores uthi: “Kukho umntu omane esiza kahlanu ngeveki ukuze asincede sihlambe uTata. Kwakhona, uphinda atshintshe umandlalo kaTata aze ancedise nangezinye izinto. Kukho nomongikazi oza kube kanye ngeveki ukuze axilonge uTata aze amnike iipilisi xa ziphelile. Ugqirha yena uza rhoqo emva kweeveki ezintathu. Xa kukho into engxamisekileyo, bafumaneka nanini na sibafuna.”
Xa isigulana sinyangwa sisekhaya kubalulekile ukuba nikwazi ukufumana umongikazi okanye ugqirha nanini na nimfuna ekubeni beya kunceda ngamayeza baze baqiniseke ukuba isigulana asikho zintlungwini yaye sithe qwa kangangoko kunokwenzeka. Kwakhona banokunceda isigulana ukuba sikwazi ukuphefumla. Uncedo lwabo lwenza isigulana nabo basongayo babe nethemba baze bangoyiki iintlungu nezinye iingxaki ezinokuvela xa isigulana sisweleka.
Ukunyamekela Ngothando
Abantu abancedisa kolu hlobo lonyango bayaqonda ukuba kufuneka basiphathe ngesidima isigulana. UMartha oneminyaka engama-20 esebenza kwiindawo zolu hlobo lo nyango uthi: “Ndandizazi kakuhle izigulana, izinto ezizithandayo nezinto ezingazithandiyo yaye ndandiye ndizame ukuzinceda zonwabe kangangoko kunokwenzeka ngoxa zisaphila. Ndandidla ngokuba ngumhlobo wazo yaye ezinye zazo ndandizithanda kakhulu. Eneneni ezinye izigulana ezinesifo sika-Alzheimer okanye ezigula ngengqondo zazidla ngokuba ndlongondlongo ngoxa ndizama ukuzinceda. Zazidla ngokuzama ukundibetha, ukundiluma okanye zindikhabe. Kodwa ndandidla ngokukhumbula ukuba izinto ezizenzayo zibangelwa kukugula.”
Xa ethetha ngolwaneliseko awalufumanayo ngenxa yokuxhasa amalungu entsapho awayegulelwa, uMartha uthi: “Uncedo lwam lwaluwenza ungabi mninzi kakhulu umsebenzi wokunyamekela umntu ogulayo. Kwakubathuthuzela ukwazi ukuba kukho nabanye abantu ababancedisayo.”
Ukuba zikho iindawo zolu hlobo lonyango apho uhlala khona, zinokubanyamekela bhetele kunezibhedlele abantu abagulayo. UJeanne okhankanywe ekuqaleni uthi uyavuya kuba wakhethela umama wakhe olu hlobo lonyango. Uthi: “Umama wayenyangwa esekhaya engqongwe yintsapho eyayimxhasa emzimbeni, ngokweemvakalelo naselukholweni ngoxa kwakuphinda kubekho abongikazi ababemphathela amayeza. Ndingalikhupha litsole elokuba abo babemnyamekela babeqeqeshwe kakuhle yaye benovelwano. Icebiso nolwazi lwabo lwaluluncedo. Ndicinga ukuba alukho olunye uhlobo lonyango awayenokulukhetha uMama.”
[Amagama acatshulweyo akwiphepha 17]
Kubalulekile ukuba nikwazi ukuqhagamshelana nabantu abaqeqeshiweyo xa nisinyamekela ngokwenu isigulana
[Ibhokisi/Umfanekiso okwiphepha 16]
“Sakwazi Ukuba Kunye Naye”
UIsabel, ibhinqa laseMexico elinonina walo owayenomhlaza wamabele kangangeminyaka eli-16 uthi: “Mna nentsapho yam sasinexhala lokuba uMama wayeza kuba sezintlungwini. Sathandazela ukuba angabi sezintlungwini ezidla ngokuba kuzo izigulana ezinomhlaza ngaphambi kokuba zife. Sancedwa ngomnye ugqirha walapha eMexico oyincutshe yamayeza okudambisa iintlungu. Wayesiza kube kanye ngeveki, asinike amayeza okudambisa iintlungu, asifundise indlela yokuwasebenzisa nendlela yokunyamekela uMama. Kwakusithuthuzela ukwazi ukuba wayenokuza nanini na simfuna. Kwakuvuyisa ngokwenene ukubona umama engekho zintlungwini yaye esitya kwiintsuku zakhe zokugqibela esidla amazimba. Sakwazi ukuba kunye naye de wasweleka.”
[Ibhokisi ekwiphepha 17]
Xa Sele Eza Kufa
Gcina amashiti ecocekile, omile yaye eayiniwe. Ukuze angatyabuki, mguquleni rhoqo nize nitshintshe neempahla zakhe ukuba akakwazi ukuwubamba umchamo nelindle. Akho namanye amayeza eninokumnika wona ukuze kukhululeke isisu sakhe. Xa sele siza kufa isigulana, amanzi nokutya azincedi kangako. Ninokumane nisibeka umkhenkce okanye ilaphu elimanzi emlonyeni, ukuze ungomi. Ukusibamba nje ngesandla isigulana kuyasithuthuzela yaye khumbulani ukuba sisenokuva de sife.