Umsindo—Uyintoni?

“NGOKUTHINTELA isiphiwo sakho osinikwe nguThixo esingumsindo, uyazibulala.” Lalumkisa ngelitshoyo inqaku elacatshulwa kwiphephancwadi iNewsweek. Kuyabonakala ukuba, kangangeminyaka oogqirha abaninzi bengqondo ingcamango yomsindo ongakhutshwayo baye bayivakalisa ngokubanzi njengenokubangela ukungaphili kakuhle okunjengokuxinezeleka kwegazi (high blood pressure), isifo sentliziyo, ukudandatheka, ixhala nokukhotyokiswa butywala.

Kwelinye icala, kangangamawakawaka eminyaka eyadlulayo iBhayibhile yaluleka isithi: “Lahla umsindo, ushiye ubushushu.” (INdumiso 37:8) IBhayibhile iwuchaza ngokungqalileyo umsindo ngokuthi: “Musa ukukungxamela ukuqumba ngomoya wakho, ngokuba ingqumbo ilala esifubeni sezidenge.”—INtshumayeli 7:9.

Ngubani ke ochanileyo, ngaba ziingcali zehlabathi okanye yiBhayibhile? Ngenene uyintoni umsindo? Ngaba ukukhupha umsindo kuyinto elungileyo ukuba siyenze?

Ukukhupha Umsindo

“Umsindo” libinzana eliqhelekileyo elichaza imvakalelo ebonakaliswa ngamandla okanye ukusabela ngokucaphuka okanye ngentiyo. Kwakhona, kukho amanye amazwi abonisa umlinganiselo womsindo okanye indlela okhutshwa ngayo. Ubushushu buthetha umsindo omkhulu gqitha. Umsindo unokuba ngonemiphumo ebulalayo. Ukucaphuka kunokubhekisela kumsindo ngenxa yobulungisa. Yaye ingqumbo isoloko ithetha ukuphindezela okanye ukohlwaya.

Umsindo udla ngokubangelwa kokuthile: Siba nomsindo ngenxa yokuthile. Kodwa indlela esiwubonakalisa ngayo umsindo okanye indlela esiqhubana ngayo nawo yenza umahluko omkhulu.

Okubangel’ umdla kukuba, nangona ezinye iingcali ziyibethelela into yokuba ukukhutshwa komsindo kunengenelo, uphengululo lwakutshanje olwenziwe ngoogqirha bengqondo lubonisa ukuba abantu abaninzi abazivumela ukuba bakhuph’ umsindo baziva bengaxabisekanga, bayadandatheka, baziva benetyala, njengabantu banobutshaba obunamandla, okanye ixhala. Ngaphezu koko “ukuwukhupha,” okanye “ukudubuleka ngumsindo,” mhlawumbi kuphelekwa ngamazwi omsindo adubulayo, ukulila, ukukhala, okanye nokuhlasela okungokoqobo, kudla ngokubangela iingxaki ezingakumbi kunokuba kuzicombulule. Umntu onomsindo uba nomsindo ngakumbi, aze abangele abanye abantu bakhathazeke.—IMizekeliso 30:33; Genesis 49:6, 7.

Xa sinkqangaza size sikhwaze sisemsindweni, sidla ngokungakufumani oko besithembe ukuba sokufumana kuba omnye umntu udla ngokuxhokonxelwa ukuba aphindezele. Ngokomzekelo, masithi ngoxa uqhuba inqwelo-mafutha yakho, omnye umqhubi wenza okuthile okukucaphukisayo. Ngeliphindezelayo, uyamkhwaza uze ubethe isikhaliso senqwelo-mafutha yakho. Ukudubuleka kwakho ngokulula kunokuvuselela imbambano yokucaphuka kwakho ukuba uphindezele. Maxa wambi, imeko enjalo iye iphumele kwintlekele. Ngokomzekelo, enye indoda eBrooklyn, eNew York, yabulawa ngoxa yayixambulisana nenye indoda ngendawo yokupakisha inqwelo-mafutha yayo esitratweni. IBhayibhile ibalaselisa le ngxaki xa isithi: “Indoda enomsindo ixhaya ingxabano; umntu onobushushu uzele lukreqo.” (IMizekeliso 29:22) Hayi indlela ekububulumko ngayo ukulandela esi siluleko sithi: “Ningabuyekezi ububi ngobubi nakubani. . . . Ukuba kunokwenzeka, okukokwenu nina, hlalani ninoxolo nabantu bonke”!—Roma 12:17, 18.

Ngenxa yoku, ukukhupha umsindo wethu akusincedi ekuhlalisaneni nabanye. Kodwa ngaba kuyingenelo emizimbeni yethu? Iqela loogqirha liye lagqiba kwelokuba akuyongenelo. Uphengululo olwenziweyo luye lwabonisa ukuba abantu abathanda ukukhupha umsindo baguliswa kakhulu kukuxinezeleka kwegazi. Bambi baye babika ukuba umsindo ubangela izifo zentliziyo, iintloko ezibuhlungu, ukumongoza, isiyezi, okanye ukubebezela. Kwelinye icala, uMniki wobomi bethu ucacisa ngokuthi: “Bubomi benyama intliziyo epholileyo.” (IMizekeliso 14:30) UYesu wathi: “Banoyolo abaxolisi; ngokuba baya kubizwa ngokuthi bangoonyana bakaThixo bona.”—Mateyu 5:9.

Izinto Ezibangela Umsindo

Ezinye izinto ezibangela umsindo kuxa sihlaselwa kukuzixabisa kwethu, kuxa sigxekwa, sithukwa, siphathwa kakubi kwanaxa sidaniswa ngabanye ngendlela engathethelelekiyo. Xa abantu benomsindo, bathetha ngamazwi okugadlela: “Wena usongela ulonwabo nonqabiseko lwam! Wonakalisa igama lam! Undenza ndizijonge njengento engento! Uyandixhaphaza!”

Maxa wambi abantu basebenzisa umsindo ukugubungela into ethile. Ngokomzekelo, enye inkwenkwe ene-14 leminyaka ubudala kwisiXeko saseNew York yayisoloko inomsindo yaye isoloko isilwa. Ngoncedo lukagqirha, le nkwenkwe ekugqibeleni yavuma yathi: “Ndandingenakuze ndithi, kulungile ndiyalufuna uncedo, ndifuna umntu endinokuzityanda igila kuye . . . Woyika ukuthiywa ngabantu.” Ngoko, eyona nto eyayiyifuna ngokwenene yayiyingqalelo nothando.

Esinye isibini esitshatileyo eKhalifoniya sasithetha ngamazwi adubulayo omsindo ngamaxesha onke umfazi etyelela umhlobo wakhe oyintombazana. Ukuba nomsindo kwendoda kwachukumisa imvakalelo efanayo emfazini. Ngexesha lokululekwa kwabo, ekugqibeleni le ndoda yamxelela umfazi wayo into engazange iyixelele nabani na ngaphambili. Xa umfazi wayo wayesithi athabathe uhambo ngaphandle kwayo, nokuba yayilixesha elifutshane, ngaphakathi kuyo yayisoyikela ukuba lo mfazi abe unokuyishiya mpela kuba yona yashiywa nguyise xa yayiselula. Xa lo mfazi wathi wasiqonda isizathu esisisiseko esibangela umsindo wendoda yakhe—esikukoyika ukushiywa—kwamnceda ukuba akuphelise ukuthetha ngomsindo nendoda yakhe waza wayiqinisekisa ngothando lwakhe kuyo.

Ngaloo ndlela, umsindo usenokuba luphawu. Kwiimeko ezinjalo, ngokuqonda oyena nobangela usisiseko wokubakho kwawo, sinokufunda ukujongana nawo ngokufanelekileyo.

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 4]

Iqela loogqirha liye lagqiba kwelokuba ukukhupha umsindo kuyingozi empilweni