Ukutubeka—Ungabhekana Kanjani Nakho?

BECINDEZELWE izinkathazo nezinkinga zansuku zonke, abaningi bazama ukudambisa ukukhungatheka kwabo ngokuphuza. Utshwala, isidakamizwa esisetshenziswa kabi kunazo zonke namuhla, busetshenziswa abaningi ukuze babalekele amaqiniso abuhlungu okuphila. Abanye baye bathembela ezidakamizweni ezithandwayo ezituswa odokotela ukuze babhekane nezinkathazo. Kodwa abanye baphendukela ezidakamizweni ezidunga ingqondo, njengensangu, ama-methamphetamine, ne-cocaine. Ngisho nabantwana kwaziwa ukuthi basebenzisa izidakamizwa ukuze babalekele amaqiniso okuphila. Kuthiwa amaphesenti angu-95 entsha yaseMelika ayobe esesebenzise isidakamizwa esisodwa noma ngaphezulu esingekho emthethweni ngaphambi kokuba aphothule esikoleni esiphakeme.

Bese kuba nalabo abazama ukubalekela ukucindezeleka kwansuku zonke ngokuzitika nabangane babo noma bashaye sengathi beneme kuyilapho becindezelekile ngaphakathi. Noma ngenxa yezizathu ezingalungile, bafuna uthando nomusa kwabobulili obuhlukile. Kodwa ukusebenzisa izindlela zokubalekela ukucindezeleka kumane kwandise ukukhungatheka. Lapho abantu bezama ukudambisa ukucindezeleka ngotshwala noma ezinye izinto ezidunga ingqondo, kunokuba bazivuselele, basheshisa inqubo yokutubeka. Khona-ke, yini ongayenza lapho ubona ukuthi injabulo yakho iyancipha kancane kancane?

Indlela Yokululama

I-Phaphama! ayitusi izindlela ezithile noma imithi ethile yokwelapha. Nakuba kunjalo, inikeza ukusikisela okumbalwa okuwusizo okusekelwe ezimisweni zeBhayibheli okungase kukusize ukuba uvuseleleke. UDkt. Yutaka Ono, umqondisi wase-Keio University School of Medicine, utusa ‘izindlela ezintathu’ zokubhekana nokutubeka. Uyachaza: ‘Lezizindlela ezintathu zimelela ukulawula, ukukhulumisana, nokuqonda.’

Ukuze unqobe imizwa yokungabi nalusizo, kumelwe ube nomuzwa wokuthi uyayilawula imizwa nokuziphatha kwakho. Lapho ukukhungatheka kubusa imizwelo yakho nsuku zonke futhi kukhinyabeza ikhono lakho lokuxazulula izinkinga, kulula ukuba ukholelwe ukuthi izinto azisalawuleki. Nokho, ungahlali nje phansi ugxile emicabangweni ekhathazayo. Zama ukuxazulula inkinga yakho kancane kancane. (Bheka ibhokisi, ekhasini 10.) Ungapholisi maseko. Ngokumane uthathe izinyathelo eziqondile kuqala, uyoqala ukuzizwa ungcono futhi ukwazi ukulawula izinto.

Zama ukunciphisa izinto ezikucasulayo eziholela ekudikibaleni. Ngokwesibonelo, abanye bathambekela ekucasulweni izinto eziwubala ekuphileni. Baphikelela endleleni ethile yokwenza izinto bese becasuka lapho abanye bengavumelani nayo, noma bangase bakhungathekiswe ukwehluleka kwabo siqu. Indoda ehlakaniphile yasendulo yathi: “Ungabi-ngolungileyo ngokudluleleyo, ungazenzi ohlakaniphileyo kakhulu; uzichithelani na?” (UmShumayeli 7:16) Ukunamathela ezindinganisweni eziphakeme ngokweqile bese uhlala unomuzwa wokuthi awuzifinyeleli kuyoletha ukutubeka ngokuqinisekile.

Esinye iseluleko esiwusizo esiseBhayibhelini siwukuba “uhambe noNkulunkulu wakho ngokuthobeka.” (Mika 6:8) Ukuthobeka kusho ukuqaphela ukulinganiselwa kwakho noma “ukulinganisela amandla onawo.” Lokhu kungase kusho ukwenqaba izicelo ezingenangqondo emsebenzini.

Labo abakwaziyo ukulinganiselwa kwabo bayalwamukela usizo. Omunye wesifazane oyimenenja owayekade etubekile wathi isihluthulelo sokukugwema siwukucela usizo. Noma kunjalo, njengoba esho, “abantu abaningi bayesaba ukucela usizo ngoba bangase babhekwe njengezehluleki emsebenzini wabo.” Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi umsebenzi wasendlini, wesikole, noma wokuziphilisa—noma yini ekusongela ngokutubeka—wabele abanye uma kungenzeka. Uzomangala lapho ubona indlela izinto ezifezeka ngayo nangaphandle kokuziqondisa wena ngokoqobo.—Qhathanisa no-Eksodusi 18:13-27.

Kungase kudingeke uphumule. Ukuthatha iholide kungamzuzisa ngokumangalisayo umuntu ongaba isisulu sokutubeka. Nokho, uma izimo zakho zingakuvumeli lokho, “uma wazi ukuthi ungajabula kanjani, kuyasiza,” kusho umcwaningi u-Ann McGee-Cooper. Ukuhlaba ikhefu wenza okuthile okuhlukile kungase kuthuthukise umkhiqizo, kushukumisele ingqondo yakho ekucabangeni okuhle. Lokho iNkosi uSolomoni eyeluleka ngakho eminyakeni eminingi edlule kuseyiqiniso: “Kungcono ukhweshe lokuthula kunezandla zombili zigcwele umshikashika kanye nokufuna umoya.”—UmShumayeli 4:6.

Ukusekelana Ngokukhulumisana

‘Iphuzu’ lesibili elaphawulwa uDkt. Ono lihilela ukukhulumisana. Kuyathakazelisa ukuthi abacishi-mlilo abavamile ukutubeka. Lokhu kungase kube ngenxa yokuthi, naphezu kokubhekwa njengamaqhawe, bahlanganiswe isibopho sobudlelwane esiqinile. Lapho eneqembu elimsekelayo angathembela kulo, umuntu angathola kulo usizo. Ungakutholaphi ukusekela okududuzayo namuhla? Ichaza izindlela odokotela abangabhekana ngazo nokutubeka, incwadi ethi Moetsukishokogun (Isifo Sokutubeka) iyaphawula: “Kodokotela, imikhaya yabo, ikakhulukazi abangane babo bomshado, baphumelela ngempela ekusekeleni ngokomzwelo.” Wonke umuntu uyamdinga othile angathululela kuye isifuba. Kulesisici sokukhulumisana, iBhayibheli linikeza iseluleko esiwusizo. Likhuthaza imibhangqwana eshadile ukuba ilondoloze ukusondelana kwayo kothando futhi litshela wonke umuntu ukuba abe nabangane abanganikeza ukusikisela okufanelekayo nokusebenzisekayo.—IzAga 5:18, 19; 11:14.

“Kumelwe sakhe isimiso sethu sokusekelana sabangane abaseduze nomkhaya,” kusho i-USA Today. Bese inezela: “Kumelwe sizizwe sikhululekile ukusebenzisa imithombo yethu engokwenkolo nezinkonzo zempilo yengqondo.” Ngokuphathelene nendlela yokusebenzisa imithombo engokwenkolo ukuze sithole usizo, umfowabo kaJesu ngamzali munye uJakobe wabhala: “Kukhona ogulayo phakathi kwenu na? Makabize amalunga ebandla, amkhulekele, amgcobe ngamafutha egameni leNkosi.” (Jakobe 5:14) AmaKristu anezinkinga angathola impumuzo ngokukhuluma nabadala bamabandla oFakazi BakaJehova. Nakuba abadala bengebona ochwepheshe bokusingatha ukutubeka, lubaluleke kakhulu usizo olungokomoya abalunikezayo.

Nakuba isimiso sabantu sokusekelana singase sisivuselele ukuze sibhekane nolunye usuku, singase singaneli ngaso sonke isikhathi. Esethulweni sencwadi yakhe ethi Helplessness, uMartin E. P. Seligman wabhekisela ekuzibuseni nasekuzethembeni okungenakuzithiba kwabantu ngabanye okubonakala eNtshonalanga njengembangela yokwanda kokucindezeleka namuhla, futhi wathi kunesidingo sokuthola injongo ekuphileni. Wabe esebonisa ukuthi “isimo esidingekayo ukuze uthole injongo ekuphileni siwukunamathela kokuthile okunamandla kunawe.” Nakuba abantu abaningi namuhla bengabuthathi ngokungathi sína ubuhlobo babo noNkulunkulu, ukukhulumisana noMdali—ngokuqinisekile ‘onamandla kunawe’—kungakusiza ukuba ubhekane nemizwa yokungabi nalusizo.

INkosi uDavide, eyabhekana nezinkinga eziningi, yakhuthaza izikhonzi zayo: “Thembani [kuNkulunkulu] ngezikhathi zonke nina-bantu, nithulule inhliziyo yenu phambi kwakhe; uNkulunkulu uyisiphephelo sethu.” (IHubo 62:8) UNkulunkulu ukulungele ukulalela, ngisho ‘nokububula kwethu okungenakuphinyiselwa.’ (Roma 8:26) Ukumnxusa ngobuqotho kungaphumela ekuthuleni ‘okungalondoloza izinhliziyo zenu nemicabango’ ekutubekeni.—Filipi 4:6, 7.

Ukushintsha Umbono Wakho

Ekugcineni, kungase kudingeke ushintshe indlela obheka ngayo isimo sakho. ‘Iphuzu’ lokugcina elisikiselwa uDkt. Ono njengendlela yokubhekana nokutubeka ukuqonda. Lapho sicindezeleke ngokweqile, sithambekela ekucabangeni kabi ngayo yonke into bese sizikhungathekisa ngemibono yokudikibala. Nokho, kumelwe sibhekane namaqiniso. Hlaziya ukuthi sikhona ngempela yini isisekelo sokuba nemicabango enjalo engaqondile. Ingabe umphumela uzoba mubi ngendlela owesaba ngayo? Zama ukubheka izinto ngelinye iso.

“Ungaqala ngokucabanga ukuthi uma utubekile, kubangelwa ukuthi ‘umuhle,’ hhayi ngoba ‘umubi,’” kusho umagazini i-Parents. Khumbula: Abantu abasengozini yokutubeka banezindinganiso eziphakeme futhi bayabakhathalela abanye. Ukwaziswa kubaluleke kakhulu esisulwini sokutubeka. Kungaba usizo kakhulu kumama uma umyeni wakhe nabantwana bezwakalisa futhi bebonisa ukwazisa ngawo wonke umsebenzi ohilelekile ekunakekeleni ikhaya. Uma imenenja enesikhundla esiphakathi itubeka ngenxa yomsebenzi, ukutusa nokumbambatha emhlane kungathuthukisa indlela ebheka ngayo izinto.

IBhayibheli libonisa indlela owesifazane okhuthele okumfanele ngayo ukutuswa: “Abantwana bakhe bayasukuma, bambusise; nendoda yakhe iyamdumisa ngokuthi: Baningi abafazi abakhutheleyo, kepha wena ubadlula bonke.” (IzAga 31:10, 28, 29) Ngempela, “amazwi amahle anjengamakhekheba oju; amnandi emphefumulweni, ayimpiliso emathanjeni.”—IzAga 16:24.

UShinzo, umdala ongumKristu okukhulunywe ngaye esihlokweni sokuqala, walulama ngokuphawulekayo ekutubekeni. Nakuba athola usizo lochwepheshe, okwamsiza kakhulu kwakuwukuthandaza kuJehova. Ngemva kokuthandaza ngenkuthalo ecela usizo, wahlangana nomdala owayefunde naye iZwi likaNkulunkulu. Lowomdala, kanye nabanye abadala akanye nabo, bamsekela ngokulalela izinkathazo zakhe. Kumagazini wangaphambili onjengalona owufundayo njengamanje, umkakhe wamfundela izihloko ezikhuluma ngokunqoba imizwelo ephambene. (October 8, 1992) Kancane kancane waqaphela ukuthi wayezama ukuzibambela mathupha zonke izinto. Indlela ayebheka ngayo izinto ezimzungezile yaqala ukushintsha. Nakuba ekuqaleni azizwa sengathi wayesesimweni esiphikelelayo sokuphelelwa ithemba, waqhubeka eba nethemba kwaze kwaba yilapho isimo silunga.

NjengoShinzo, nawe ungabhekana nokutubeka ubuye uphile kahle futhi.

[Ibhokisi ekhasini 8]

Izindlela Ezingu-12 Zokuvimbela Ukutubeka

AMAPHUZU alandelayo asekelwe ekusikiseleni okumbalwa okwanikezwa udokotela wokunakekelwa kwempilo yengqondo.

1. Lawula imicabango yakho, imizwa, nokuziphatha—umthandazo uwusizo olukhulu.

2. Lapho uqala ukukhathazeka, shintsha ngokuphelele ucabange izinto eziwusizo.

3. Lapho ucasukile, donsa umoya kakhulu uwukhiphe bese wenza umzamo wokuphumula.

4. Zama ukubheka izimo ngombono womunye umuntu ukuze uqonde indlela ukucindezeleka okuqale ngayo.

5. Gxila kulokho okwazisayo kwabanye bese ubatusa. Ungabathophi kodwa batuse ngokufanelekile.

6. Thola ukuthi ibangelwa yini imicabango ephambene, elimazayo bese uyiqeda.

7. Yazi indlela yokwenqaba lapho amandla onawo nesimiso sakho kungakuvumeli.

8. Vivinya umzimba ngandlela-thile nsuku zonke—kuhle ukuwuvivinya ngokuhamba ngamandla.

9. Hlonipha abanye, ubashukumisele ukuba baveze izimfanelo zabo ezinhle.

10. Hlala umamatheka futhi weneme.

11. Shiya izinkinga zakho zasemsebenzini emsebenzini.

12. Kwenze namuhla okumelwe kwenziwe—ungazindeli.

(Athathelwe kwesithi “Ukubhekana Nemizwa, Ukunqoba Ukutubeka,” nguRuth Dailey Grainger, American Journal of Nursing, January 1992.)

[Isithombe ekhasini 8, 9]

Ngokuvamile ukutubeka kugadla kumuntu ongaphumuli, osebenza njalo