Ukuba Umzali Ongayedwa Ophumelelayo

“Into eyodwa bonke abazali abangabodwa abangenayo ngokwanele isikhathi.”—Single Parent’s Survival Guide.

“Ukuswelakala kwemali kuyinkinga engathi sína kunazo zonke.”—I-Times yaseLondon.

‘Isizungu siyimbangela eyinhloko yokucindezeleka komzali ongayedwa.’—I-Give Us a Break, ukuhlolwa kwamathuba okuzilibazisa kwabazali abangabodwa.

BONKE abazali babhekana nezinselele, ukujabula, nezinkinga. Kodwa abazali abangabodwa babhekana nalokho bengenaye umngane womshado. Ngenxa yalokho, isikhathi, imali, nesizungu ngokuvamile kuba izinto ezivelele ekuphileni kwabo.

Nakuba ukuphila kwabo kungase kube nzima, abazali abangabodwa bangaphumelela ekuphileni komkhaya wabo, futhi abaningi bayaphumelela. Okuningi kuxhomeke ekutheni yiziphi izindinganiso abazamukelayo nokuthi banamathela ngokuqine kangakanani kuzo.

Ngokuthakazelisayo, iBhayibheli lasibikezela kudala lesi siyaluyalu esikhona sokuziphatha nezenhlalo. Phawula indlela umphostoli ongumKristu uPawulu aqaphelisa ngayo umfundi osemusha uThimothewu ngalokhu. Waxwayisa: “Kodwa yazi lokhu, ukuthi ezinsukwini zokugcina kuyofika izikhathi ezibucayi okunzima ukubhekana nazo. Ngoba abantu bayoba abazithandayo, . . . abangalaleli abazali, abangabongiyo, abangathembekile, abangenakho ukusondelana ngokomzwelo okungokwemvelo, abangafuni sivumelwano.”—2 Thimothewu 3:1-3.

IBhayibheli aliyona nje incwadi eyaprofetha ngokunembile ngezimo zanamuhla. Liqukethe zona kanye izimiso okuthi lapho zilandelwa, ziphumelelise ukuphila komkhaya. (2 Thimothewu 3:16, 17) Cabangela indlela ezinye zalezi ezingabasiza ngayo abazali abangabodwa ukuba babhekane nezinkinga zesikhathi, imali, nesizungu.

Thengisisa Isikhathi

Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uhleleke kangakanani, isikhathi siyinto engabambeki. Ukuze usisebenzise kahle isikhathi sakho, kudingeka uqale uthole ukuthi kwenzekani ngempela kuso. Khona-ke uyokwazi ukunquma ukuthi yiziphi izinto ezibaluleke kakhulu kuwe. “Gcina ‘umbiko wesikhathi,’” kusikisela inhlangano ethile yabazali abangabodwa. “Kulombiko gcina umbhalo wakho konke okwenzayo phakathi nosuku noma phakathi nesonto, bese ubheka ukuthi kukuthatha isikhathi esingakanani. Ngemva kwalokho, bheka ukuthi isikhathi ungasonga kuphi, noma usisebenzise kangcono, ngokushintsha izinto noma ngokungazenzi izinto ezithile.”

Iseluleko esinjalo esihluzekile sibonisa ukuhlakanipha okungokomBhalo komyalo womphostoli: “Qaphelisisani ukuthi indlela enihamba ngayo ayinjengeyabantu abangahlakaniphile kodwa injengeyabahlakaniphileyo, nizithengisisela ithuba, ngoba izinsuku zimbi.”—Efesu 5:15, 16.

Ngokwesibonelo, ingabe ukubuka i-TV kuhamba phambili esimisweni sakho sansuku zonke? Ukunciphisa kulokhu kuyokunikeza isikhathi esengeziwe sokuxoxa nezingane zakho nokwenza izinto ndawonye. Lokho kungasiza ekwakheni ubuhlobo obuhle nazo.

Ungase uthi: ‘Imizamo yami yokuhlala phansi ngixoxe nezingane zami imane ibangele ukuthula cwaka isikhathi eside.’ Ngokunokwenzeka kunjalo, kodwa ungakuvumeli lokho kukuphazamise. Abeluleki babazali abangabodwa batusa ukuba uqonde imizwa engxoxweni yansuku zonke yezingane zakho, njengalokho ezikushoyo ngabangane bazo basesikoleni noma lokho ezihlela ukukwenza. Kodwa awunakukwenza lokho uma i-TV ithatha ukunakekela kwakho, akunjalo? Ngisho noma uyivulile kodwa ungayibuki, ukuphazamiseka kungase kubangele ukuba ungakutholi ukwaziswa okubalulekile ngemicabango nemizwelo ejulile yezingane zakho. Ngakho yiba nesikhathi sokuba nezingane zakho. Yenzani imisebenzi yasendlini ndawonye, futhi njengoba nisebenza, xoxani—futhi ulalele lapho zikhuluma!

Funda kanye nazo futhi. Ukucwaninga kubonisa ukuhlobana okuqinile phakathi kwekhono lengane lokufunda lapho ineminyaka emihlanu nalokho ekufezayo kamuva. Lokhu kungesinye isizathu esengeziwe sokuba uthengisise isikhathi sokufunda nazo. Imizuzu embalwa ngaphambi kokuyolala, noma kusihlwa ngaphambi kokuba ukhathale kakhulu, iyoba isikhathi esisetshenziswe kahle.

Yaneliswa Izinto Ozidingayo

Abazali abaningi abangabodwa bazithola besesimweni esibucayi ngokwezimali. Ngandlela-thile kumelwe bathole imali eyanele yokukhokhela indawo yokuhlala, ukudla, nezingubo zokugqoka. Kodwa ukuya emsebenzini kuphakamisa inkinga yokunakekela izingane ngendlela efanele.

Izinto zasenkulisa azitholakali kalula ngaso sonke isikhathi, futhi zimba eqolo. Abanye abazali abangabodwa baphumelela ngokuthola usizo lwezihlobo zabo—ogogo nomkhulu, obabekazi, nomalume. Abanye bathembela ezikoleni zezinsana, izindawo zokudlala, nezinto zasezinkulisa abazinikezwa abaqashi babo. Ukuxhasa kukahulumeni, uma kutholakala, akuhlangabezani nezindleko ezingase zidingeke ekunakekeleni umntwana kanjalo. Kwamanye amazwe, abazali abangabodwa abanezinsana bangase bakhethe ukungawufuni umsebenzi kodwa bahlale ekhaya futhi baphile ngemali abayinikezwa uhulumeni.

Njengoba kunenani elandayo labazali abangabodwa okudingeka linakekelwe, ohulumeni nabo bagxila kulabo ababathola benecala. EBrithani lokhu sekubangele ukuqiniswa kwemithetho kobaba abangazondli ngokwezimali izingane zabo. Izinhlangano zokondla izingane zilandelela labo baba abangahlali ekhaya ukuze bakhokhe isondlo esisilele. Lapho omama abangabodwa benqaba ukusiza lezi zinhlangano ukuba zithungathe ubaba, bangase balahlekelwe izinzuzo ezithile ezingokwezimali. “ESweden kulinganiselwa ukuthi amaphesenti angu-40 abantu abangasikhokhi isondlo abanjwa ngezinhlangano zendawo zomshuwalense wezenhlalo, futhi eFrance izinkantolo zisebenzisa imithetho yesondlo nokulandelelwa kwabangasikhokhi isondlo,” kubika i-Times yaseLondon.

Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi izinkantolo zinikeza usizo noma cha, noma ukuthi uhulumeni unikeza usizo noma cha, abazali abaningi abangabodwa bathola izindlela zokuzisiza ukuze baphile ngemali encane kunaleyo ababevame ukuphila ngayo ngaphambili. Kanjani? Ngokuhlela imali ngendlela ehlukile.

Ukufunda ukuhlela imali ngendlela ehlukile kuyikhono. Ngokuvamile kusho ukushintsha indlela yokusebenzisa imali ezintweni eziza kuqala—ngokwesibonelo, ukubeka eceleni imali yokukhokha izikweleti zendlu nezikagesi kuqala, bese kuba eyokuthenga ukudla, neyokukhokha imali ebolekiwe. “Uma sinokokuzisekela nokokuzimboza,” kuchaza umphostoli uPawulu, “siyokwaneliswa yilezizinto.”—1 Thimothewu 6:8.

Uye wakucabangela yini ukuhlanganyela izindleko nabanye? Ukuthenga ukudla noma izimpahla zasendlini ngamanani amakhulu nabanye abazali kungakongela imali. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uyihlela ngayiphi indlela imali yakho, khumbula ukuthi kudingeka uhlale phansi ubale izindleko zakho. (Qhathanisa noLuka 14:28.) Kungani ungatholi usizo lwezingane zakho ekuhleleni imali? Khona-ke zingase zikubheke njengelungelo ukukusiza ukuba unamathele kukho. Ungase uthole ngisho nokuthi uyokwazi ukubeka imali eceleni ongayilondoloza.

Ukuze Uzuze Abangane, Yiba Nobungane

“Yenzani ukupha kube umkhuba, futhi abantu bayonipha,” kululeka uJesu. “Isilinganiso enilinganisa ngaso, bayonilinganisela ngaso njengembuyiselo.” (Luka 6:38) Kunjalo nasebuhlotsheni nabanye abantu. Isithakazelo onaso kwabanye singazuza ukusabela kobungane. Indlela engcono kakhulu yokunqoba isizungu iwukuthatha isinyathelo kuqala sokwenza abangane. Mhlawumbe ungase uthole abangane abanokwethenjelwa abayonakekela izingane zakho ukuze ukwazi ukuvakasha. Ngaphezu kwalokho, kungani ungaceli abangane bakho ukuba bakuvakashele?

Kodwa lapha kudingeka isixwayiso. Khumbula, “ukuzihlanganisa nababi konakalisa imikhuba enosizo.” (1 Korinte 15:33) Isizungu singanqotshwa ngokwanelisayo kuphela uma ubungane obakhayo bakha ngempela futhi buletha ukwaneliseka.

Ukufeza Indima Kamama Nekababa

Abazali abangabodwa kumelwe babe umama nobaba ezinganeni zabo—okungewona umsebenzi olula kunoma ubani. Futhi ungakhohlwa, izingane zingabalingisi bokuzalwa. Zifunda ukuba abantu abadala abanomthwalo wemfanelo ngokubona okwenziwa abantu abadala abanomthwalo wemfanelo. Khona-ke, okuningi kuxhomeke ekutheni izingane zakho uzibekela isibonelo esinjani. Ikhuluma ngabafana abaningi abakhulela emadolobheni asenkabeni yeMelika abangenabo obaba, i-Sunday Times yaseLondon ithi: “Ubudlova nokuyaluza komphakathi . . . kusitshela indlela isizukulwane sabesilisa esiziphatha ngayo lapho abangaba ingxenye yaso bengena ekuthombeni bengenawo umbono oqinile walokho okushiwo ukuba umuntu wesilisa omdala.”

Lapho izingane zikhuliswa abazali abangabodwa, impilo nomsebenzi wazo wesikole ngisho namathemba azo angokwezimali angathinteka kabi, kusho uDuncan Dormor kuyi-Relationship Revolution. Abanye abacwaningi bayakuphikisa lokhu. Basola ubumpofu nobubha bomphakathi. Noma kunjalo, abaningi bavumelana nokuhlaziya kwesazi sesayensi yezokuhlalisana kwabantu uCharles Murray: “Ingane enomama kodwa engenababa, ephila emphakathini womama ongenabo obaba, yahlulela ngalokho ekubonayo. Ungathumela izisebenzi zezenhlalakahle nothisha nabefundisi ukuba batshele insizwa ukuthi lapho isikhulile kufanele ibe ubaba okahle ezinganeni zayo. Kodwa ayazi ukuthi lokho kusho ukuthini ngaphandle kokuba iye yakubona.” Yebo, abafana namantombazane badinga umama nobaba.

KumaHubo 68:5, iBhayibheli lichaza uJehova uNkulunkulu ngokuthi “uyise wezintandane.” Omama abathembela kuNkulunkulu ukuze bathole isiqondiso bathola kuye isibonelo esihle kakhulu sezingane zabo. Obaba abakhulisa izingane zabo bebodwa bayalwazisa usizo lwabesifazane abanomthwalo wemfanelo, abavuthiwe. Yebo, bonke abazali abangabodwa bayakudinga ukusekelwa ngothando. Mhlawumbe yilapha lapho ungasiza khona.

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Obaba ‘Abangomama’ Futhi

Ayingcosana amadoda ayizinhloko zemikhaya enomzali ongayedwa. Kodwa njengoba imishado eyengeziwe ihlukana, amadoda amaningi anquma ukunakekela izingane zawo ewodwa. “Obunye ubunzima obukhulu kunabo bonke amadoda akulesi simo abhekana nabo buphathelene nendodakazi ethombayo,” kuchaza i-Single Parent’s Survival Guide. Amahloni abangela abanye obaba ukuba bagweme ukuxoxa izindaba ezingokobulili. Abanye bahlela ukuba owesifazane oyisihlobo esinokwethenjelwa axoxe namadodakazi abo. Bonke abazali abangabodwa, abesilisa kanye nabesifazane, bayozuza kakhulu ngokufunda nezingane zabo incwadi ethi Intsha Iyabuza—Izimpendulo Ezisebenzayo.a Lencwadi iqukethe izingxenye ezinezihloko ezithi “Ubulili Nokuziphatha” nesithi “Ukuphola, Uthando, Nabobulili Obuhlukile.” Isahluko ngasinye siphetha ngengxenye ethi Imibuzo Yengxoxo, eklanyelwe ukuqinisekisa ukubukeza okufanele ngisho nangezindaba ezibucayi kakhulu.

[Umbhalo waphansi]

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Ukuba nesikhathi nezingane zakho kwakha ubuhlobo obuhle

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Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uyihlela ngayiphi indlela imali yakho, hlala phansi futhi ubale izindleko zakho