Ingabe Ungumshayeli Oyingozi Kakhulu?

Ngomlobeli wePhaphama! eJapane

“SIYAZAZI izinhlobo ezithambekele ekwenzeni izingozi,” kusho uHiroyasu Ohtsuka, iNhloko Yezokuphepha Emigwaqweni eNhlanganweni Yesizwe Yesayensi Yamaphoyisa eJapane. “Nakuba kunjalo, asenqabi ukubanikeza izincwadi zokushayela, kodwa sifuna abantu bawaqaphele amaphutha obuntu babo futhi basebenzele kuwo.”

Abashayeli abayingozi kakhulu ngokuvamile abaziboni benjalo. Kodwa ochwepheshe baqaphela izinhlobo eziyisithupha zamaphutha obuntu angabonakala kalula lapho umuntu ehlala esihlalweni somshayeli. Njengoba ucabangela uhlobo ngalunye, zama ukuzibheka, futhi ubone ukuthi ungumshayeli ophephe kangakanani.

Abangafaneleki Emphakathini

Phakathi kwezinhlobo eziyingozi kakhulu kunalabo abangavumelani nezimo zomphakathi, labo abanezinkinga ekusebenzelaneni nabanye. Yilaba:

Ozicabangelayo Lona umuntu ophikelela ekwenzeni konke ngendlela yakhe siqu. Uma eshayela, ucabanga ukuthi ‘uyinkosi yomgwaqo.’ Uzizwa ekhululekile ukuba azimisele elakhe ijubane, anganaki noma yimiphi imithetho ayibheka njengengadingekile, futhi abukise noma nini lapho ethanda. Uyakhohlwa ukuthi kumelwe ahlanganyele umgwaqo nabo bonke abanye abashayeli. Njengoba enza ngobushiqela futhi edebesela, udala izingozi ngoba uyahluleka ukusabela ezimweni ezishintsha njalo emgwaqweni futhi azivumelanise nazo.

Abangabambisani Nabanye Umshayeli ongabambisani nabanye akanalo uzwela ngabanye abantu, futhi akayiqondi indlela abacabanga futhi bazizwe ngayo. Ngenxa yobunzima abutholayo ekuzwaneni nabantu, uthambekele ekubagwemeni. Lokhu kuboniswa imikhuba emibi emgwaqweni nasekubeni luhlaza kwabanye abashayeli—kokubili okuyizici eziyingozi kakhulu. Kwabanye, ukufunda indlela yokuzivumelanisa nabantu kungathatha iminyaka, futhi lesi kungesinye isizathu esenza kube namanani aphakeme ezingozi phakathi kwentsha.

Abanobudlova Uphawu olulodwa olubonakalisa umshayeli onobudlova, ngokwencwadi ethi Driving Instruction According to Aptitude, “luwukwenqaba ngokuphelele ukunika abanye ithuba lapho umshayeli ekholelwa ukuthi unelungelo lokusuka kuqala. Ngeke athethelele amaphutha abanye abashayeli noma abahamba ngezinyawo, futhi lokhu kuholela ekuthetheni, ekuphazamiseni abanye, . . . nasekushayweni kwamahutha . . . ekuvikeleni amalungelo akhe siqu zize zilime ziye etsheni.” Ngisho nalawomaphutha angawokucatshangelwa nje angamcasula. Uma futhi enesififane, ukushayela kwakhe ngokuvamile kuyodlulela ngalé kwemingcele yokwahlulela okuhle.

Ukungafaneleki Ngokomzwelo

Khona-ke kunalabo abanezinkinga ezingokomzwelo. Laba bahlanganisa:

Abashintshashintshayo Izimo ezingokomzwelo ezidlulele zitholakala kumuntu oshintshashintshayo. Unezikhathi zokungakhathazeki, ukujabula, nokucindezeleka. Uma eshayela ecindezelekile, angase angaziboni izingozi, futhi ukusabela kwakhe kungase kwephuze ngokweqile ukuba abe umshayeli ophephile. Uma eshayela lapho ephazamisekile ngokomzwelo, angase ashayele budedengu. Izixwayiso azinikezwayo ekulesimo zingase zidale ukubonakaliswa kokuvukela. Angase abheke ukucindezeleka kwakhe kuphela njengokungavamile.

Abanovalo Ngokweqile Ngokuvamile lo-lu uhlobo oluthule olunesithakazelo kulokho olukucabangayo kuphela, lukhathazeke ngakho konke. Lapho lushayela, ingqondo yalo “icabanga ngokwaziswa okungahlangene nokushayela,” kangangokuthi kulula kakhulu ukuba angakuboni ukwaziswa okubalulekile noma akuhumushe ngokungeyikho,” kuphawula abacwaningi uRichard E. Mayer noJohn R. Treat ekuhlolweni kwabashayeli abayingozi kakhulu. Umshayeli onovalo angavevezela ngisho nasezimweni ezingebucayi, njengalapho iloli lidlula eceleni. Ulindela okubi kakhulu.

Ophamazelayo Loluhlobo luthatha isinyathelo ngokushesha. Kunokuba luzinikeze isikhathi sokuqiniseka ngamaqiniso futhi lwenze ukwahlulela okuqondile, luthambekela ekwencikeni emzwelweni wemvelo. Isikhathi esithathwa kulindelwe amarobhothi nabahamba ngezinyawo sibonakala siside kakhulu kuyena kunokuba sinjalo kumuntu ovamile. Ngakho uyakhungatheka futhi ngokushesha aphelelwe ukubekezela. Ukwehluleka kwakhe ukwenza ukwahlulela okuhle ngaphambi kokuba athathe isinyathelo kumenza umshayeli oyingozi.

Ingabe uzibona ungolunye lwalezinhlobo? Kuyini ukusabela kwakho lapho omunye umshayeli ongabacabangeli abanye evivinya ukubekezela kwakho? Uma kufana nawe lokhu, kwamukele. Ukuze uphephe, lalela isixwayiso, futhi usebenzele ebuthakathakeni bakho. Kudingeka uyilawule imizwelo yakho nezimo zengqondo ukuze ube umshayeli omuhle.

Umshayeli Ohleleke Kahle

Yini eyenza umuntu abe umshayeli okahle? Ekuxoxeni nePhaphama!, abacwaningi abaphambili emaphoyiseni aseJapane bagcizelela ukucabangela abanye, ukucabanga ngaphambi kokuthatha isinyathelo, ukukwazi ukuqonda sonke isimo, ukuhlakanipha kokwahlulela ngokunembile, ukuqonda, ukuthobeka, ukuzithiba, nokwenza ngendlela evikela abanye abasebenzisi bomgwaqo.

Ngokufanayo, umbiko ovela eYunivesithi Yezokuphatha yaseOsaka uchaza abashayeli abakahle ngokuthi “banezinga eliphakeme lokuhleleka ngokomzwelo; inqubo yengqondo yokwahlulela ngokuqonda isebenza ngokushesha ngokwengeziwe kunokusabela kwabo ngokomzimba; ukwahlulela kwabo kuqondile; bangayilawula imizwelo yabo.” Ingabe lencazelo iyakufanela?

Sekuyizinkulungwane zeminyaka iBhayibheli lilokhu lifundisa abantu indlela yokuhlakulela ukuhlakanipha, ukubonelela, nokuqonda. (IzAga 2:1-6) Libonisa indlela abantu abangaphelele abangasiphula ngayo “ulaka, nokuthukuthela, nobubi, nokuhlambalaza, nokukhuluma amahlazo” bahlakulele “uthando, nokujabula, nokuthula, nokubekezela, nobubele, nobuvi, nokukholeka, nobumnene, nokuzithiba.” Yebo, iBhayibheli lingakusiza ngisho nokuba ube umshayeli ongcono!—Kolose 3:8-10; Galathiya 5:22, 23.