Nandisa Ukuphila Kwakho Ngokuhleka
Kwakuwusuku olubandayo lwasebusika, nezitebhisi zazimbozwe yiqhwa. Owokuqala owazama ukwehla wacishe wawa. Olandelayo emgqeni wamemeza: “Manje nansi indlela okufanele kwehlikwe ngayo!” Engakaligwinyi nokuligwinya wayesevume phansi—elala já ngomhlane. Kwathula kwathi cwaka isikhashana ngenxa yokwethuka, bathi besuka bayokha insini ababebukele ngemva kokubona ukuthi wayengalimalanga.
KUKHONA ‘isikhathi sokuhleka.’ Yasho njalo indoda ehlakaniphile uSolomoni eminyakeni ecishe ibe izinkulungwane ezintathu edlule. (UmShumayeli 3:4) Lokhu kuseyiqiniso nanamuhla. Ikhono lokuhleka liyisici esivela kuNkulunkulu, isipho esivela kuLowo iBhayibheli elimchaza ‘njengoNkulunkulu ojabulayo.’—1 Thimothewu 1:11, qhathanisa ne-NW.
Khona-ke, akumangalisi ukuthi indalo igcwele izinto ezihlekisayo—imikhutshana ehlekisayo yamazinyane ekati nemidlwane, iwundlu lebhubesi elilokhu liququda umsila kanina kuze kube yilapho elishaya, izijwana zixoshana futhi zigingqika esinye phezu kwesinye phakathi kwamagatsha. Kunezinto ezihlekisayo kuyo yonke indawo esizungezile, ezilindele ukuqashelwa nokwaziswa.
Lokhu akusho ukuthi bonke abantu bahleka izinto ezifanayo. Kunalokho, ukuthi yini ehlekisayo ngokuvamile kuxhomeke emasikweni omuntu, ubuntu, isizinda, nendlela azizwa ngayo, kanye nezinye izici. Nokho, cishe wonke umuntu uyoyihleka into ethile—indaba ehlekisayo, isimangaliso esijabulisayo, ihlaya, ukudlala ngamagama okubonisa ukuhlakanipha.
Ukuhleka kufeza yiphi injongo? Uma sisho okuncane, kuyindlela yokuxhumana nabanye kangcono. Okunye ukukhulumela kwabiza ukuhleka ngokuthi “igebe elincane kunawo wonke phakathi kwabantu ababili.” Ngempela, abanye bakholelwa ukuthi ukuhleka kungasetshenziswa njengendlela yokuthola ukuthi abantu bayafanelana yini emshadweni. Ekuhloleni okwenziwa ngokuqondene nokuhleka kwatholakala ukuthi imibhangqwana ehlekiswa yizinto ezifanayo ithambekele kakhulu ekubeni ithandane, futhi ifune ukushadana kunaleyo engahlekiswa yizinto ezifanayo. Ngani? Ngoba ukuhleka kubonisa izinto eziningi: izindinganiso, izithakazelo, izinto ingqondo egxile kuzo, ukuhlakanipha, umcabango, nezidingo. Ukuhlolwa kwezinhlangano eziyinkulungwane zase-United States okwenziwa ngo-1985 kwembula ukuthi “abantu abathanda ukuhleka bavame ukuba nekhono elikhudlwana lokusungula izinto ezintsha, bavumelana nezimo, futhi bazimisela kakhudlwana ukucabangela nokwamukela imiqondo nezindlela ezintsha.”
Ukuhleka Noma Ukungahleki
Akekho ngempela owazi ngokuthe ngqó ukuthi yini eyenza into ethile ihlekise. Abanye bakholelwa ukuthi emsukeni wokuhleka kukhona okungathi akuhambelani—ukuhlanganiswa kwezinto ezimbili ezibonakala zingahambelani. Ikhehla eligqoke njengomenzi wamahlaya wasesekisini lingenza umntwana omncane afe insini. Nokho, umuntu omdala osenokuhlangenwe nakho okuningi ekuphileni nolwazi oluningi angase athole imigilingwane yamahlaya ingasahlekisi. Angase ajatshuliswe izindlela zokuhlekisa ezihilela kakhudlwana ingqondo—amagama ahlekisayo, ukudlala ngamagama, noma amahlaya—okuyizindlela ezisebenzisa ukungahambelani kwamazwi kunokomzimba.
Abanye abacwaningi bakholelwa ukuthi ukuhleka kubangelwa ukukhishwa kwamandla omzwelo avalelekile. Ukuhleka kungase kumboze ukucindezeleka nobuhlungu. IBhayibheli lithi: “Nasekuhlekeni inhliziyo inobuhlungu, nokuphela kwentokozo kulusizi.”—IzAga 14:13.
Izinto eziningi ezihlekisayo zihilela lokho okubizwa ngokuthi isigameko esihlekisayo. Ukukhubeka komuntu noma ukugxumbukela kwakhe emanzini. Kuyahlekisa, akunjalo? Mhlawumbe, uma ngempela kungekho olimalayo.
UmKristu wenza umzamo omkhulu ukuze angahlakuleli uthando ngamahlaya amabi noma anonya. Kakade, uthando “aluthokozi ngokungalungile.” (1 Korinte 13:6) Futhi umKristu ugwema amahlaya angathandeki alulaza isizwe noma uhlanga oluthile. Ukuhleka kwakhe ukuvumelanisa ‘nesihawu.’ (1 Petru 3:8) Ngokwesibonelo, kungase kuhlekise kabi ukubukela ingane ecathulayo ithatha amagxathu ambalwa ngokunqikaza bese ithi dinsí phansi. Kodwa uma umuntu okhulile noma okhubazekile ewa, ukusabela okufanelekile kuwukuphuthuma umsize, hhayi ukuhleka.
Ukuhleka Nempilo Yakho
Uma kusetshenziswa kahle, ukuhleka kunokubaluleka okukhulu. Eqinisweni ubufakazi bokuthi ukuhleka kungase kube ngisho nayikhambi lokwelapha buya bunqwabelana. Kuyaziwa ukuthi ukuhleka kuhlikihla izitho zomuntu zangaphakathi. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngokukamagazini othi American Health, abanye “abacwaningi bacabanga ukuthi ukuhleka kungase kunikeze isimiso sokuzivikela komzimba amandla.” Khona-ke lomagazini ube usucaphuna isazi sokuzivikela komzimba uLee S. Berk sithi: “Imizwelo ephambene ingasilawula isimiso sokuzivikela komzimba, futhi manje kubonakala sengathi nemizwelo eqondile ingenza into efanayo.” Lokhu kugcizelela ukuhlakanipha kwamazwi eBhayibheli: “Inhliziyo eyenamileyo iyikhambi elihle.”—IzAga 17:22.
Zizama ukusebenzisa amandla elaphayo okuhleka, ezinye izibhedlela ziye zamisa okubizwa ngokuthi amagumbi okuhleka lapho iziguli zingadlala khona imidlalo, zibukele amabhayisikobho ahlekisayo, zilalele amahlaya, noma zimane nje zihanjiswe nezihlobo zazo ziye endaweni ejabulisayo. Ingabe wena ngokwakho ungahlekisa? Ake sithi umngane noma isihlobo sakho siyagula sisesibhedlela. Kungani ungamjabulisi lowo ogulayo ngokumnikeza incwadi noma ikhadi elihlekisayo lapho lokho kufanelekile?
Ukuhleka kunganciphisa nentukuthelo. UDkt. R. B. Williams, Jr., uthi: “Ukuthukuthela kuyakugulisa.” Ngokufanayo, iBhayibheli lithi: “Inhliziyo ezolileyo ingukuphila kwenyama, kepha umhawu ungukubola kwamathambo.” (IzAga 14:30) UDkt. Williams uyaphawula: “Kunzima ukuhlala uthukuthele lapho uhleka.” Yebo, ukubona into ehlekisayo esimweni esithile kungenye yezindlela ezizuzisa kakhulu zokulawula intukuthelo.
Emkhayeni
Ukuhleka kungaba wusizo emkhayeni. Enye indoda ithi: “Kimina ukuhleka kuwusizo njengoba nje nethuluzi elilungisa izinto eziningi liwusizo emotweni ngoba lenza izinto eziningi. Kuyavikela, kukhuthaze, kwenze kube nezingxoxo eziphumelelayo, kususe imibono ecatshangelwe kusengaphambili, kuguqule namazwi ayiziswana abe amazwi anengqondo nabonisa ukucabangela.”
Ukuhleka kuwusizo kakhulu lapho imikhuba ecasulayo isongela ukonakalisa ubuhlobo. Indodana yakho ikhohlwa ukuqoqa izinto zayo zokudlala naphezu kokutshelwa ngokuphindaphindiwe ukuba yenze kanjalo. Umyeni wakho ungena endlini ngezinyawo ezinodaka. Umkakho ushisa ukudla. Ukuthola amaphutha, ukuphoxa, ukugxeka, ukuthethisa noma ukuklabalasa kumane nje kwenze izinto zibe zimbi kakhulu. Omunye umcwaningi wezempilo, ocashunwe kumagazini othi Redbook, waphawula: “Uma umqulisa icala umuntu noma umhlazisa, uyozivikela. Ukuhleka kwenza abantu bakubukele kude ukuziphatha kwabo—bese bekushintsha.”
Lokhu akusho ukuthi sekuzohlekiswa ngomuntu owenze ngokungahlakaniphi. Lokho ngokuvamile kuzwisa ubuhlungu, akuhlekisi. Zama ukuhleka isimo ngokwaso. Ukuhleka kakhulu kungadambisa ukushuba kwesimo. Enye inkosikazi ithi: “Kunezikhathi lapho umyeni wami ebona ukuthi sengizothukuthela, abese engipholisa ngokusho okuthile noma ukwenza isenzo esihlekisayo. Ngaphambi kokuba ngiqaphele, ngizithola sengihleka. Bese ngiyabona ukuthi bekuvele kuyinto engenamsebenzi.”
Nokho, nasi isixwayiso. Gwema ukulokhu unsinsitheka lapho isimo singesingathi sína noma sidinga uzwela. Phawula izAga 25:20: “Oyihlabelelela inhliziyo edabukileyo izihlabelelo unjengokhumula ibhantshi ngosuku lwamakhaza nanjengoviniga esilondeni.” Ukuhleka kumelwe kusingathwe ngokuhlakanipha okufanelekile, ukuze kungalimazi ngokomzwelo noma ngokomzimba. Ungavumeli ukuhleka ukuba kube okucasulayo noma okungenanhlonipho. Lokhu kuyosho ukungabavumeli abantwana asebekhulile ukuba njalo benze abantwana bakubo abasebancane inhlekisa. Ukugcona okuncane kuyinto ehluke ngokuphelele emazwini ahlabayo. Abangane bomshado nabo kumelwe bazame ukugcina ukuhleka kungaphakathi kwemingcele, kungabi yisikhali sokugxeka noma indlela yokwehlisa.
Umbhali wezinkondlo ULangston Hughes wake wabhala: “Njengemvula yasehlobo ethandekayo, ukuhleka ngokushesha kungase kuhlanze futhi kupholise umhlaba, umoya, kanye nawe.” Ngempela ukuhleka kungafeza ingxenye ebalulekile ekuphileni kwethu. Kungasivimbela ekubeni sizicabangele ngokungathi sína kakhulu. Kungasisiza ukuba sihlale seneme futhi sikhululekile. Kungenza ubuhlobo bethu nabanye bushelele. Kungasisiza ukuba sibhekane nezikhathi ezinzima. Kungathuthukisa ngisho nempilo yethu.
Ngakho nandisa ukuphila kwakho ngokuhleka. Kuveze obala. Kulondoloze. Kuhlakulele. Nakanjani kuyokwenzela izimanga wena nalabo abaseduze nawe!
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Ukuhleka kungasiza ekuxazululeni izinkinga zasekhaya