Siza Abantwana Bakho Ukuba Bakhule Kahle

LAPHO kuziwa ekukhuliseni abantwana, abazali abaningi behla benyuka befuna amakhambi empeleni abangawathola emakhaya abo. Imikhaya eminingi ineBhayibheli, kodwa ligcwala uthuli eshalofini kunokuba lisetshenziswe ekukhuliseni abantwana.

Yiqiniso, abaningi namuhla bayakungabaza ukusebenzisa iBhayibheli njengesiqondiso sokuphila komkhaya. Balilahla ngokuthi lishiywe isikhathi, liyisidala, noma linokhahlo ngokweqile. Kodwa ukulihlolisisa kuyokwembula ukuthi iBhayibheli liyincwadi yokusiza imikhaya. Ake sibone ukuthi kanjani.

Isimo Esifanele

IBhayibheli litshela ubaba ukuba abheke abantwana bakhe “njengezithombo zomnqumo, bezungeza itafula [lakhe].” (IHubo 128:3, 4) Izithombo ezincane bezingeke zikhule zibe izihlahla ezithelayo ngaphandle kokunakekelwa ngokucophelela, zinikezwe izakhi ezifanele, inhlabathi namanzi. Ngokufanayo, ukukhulisa abantwana ngokuphumelelayo kudinga ukuzikhandla nokunakekela. Abantwana badinga isimo esihle ukuze bakhulele ekuvuthweni.

Isakhi sokuqala sesimo esinjalo uthando—phakathi kwabangane bomshado naphakathi kwabazali nabantwana. (Efesu 5:33; Thithu 2:4) Amalungu amaningi omkhaya ayathandana kodwa awasiboni isidingo sokubonisa lolo thando. Nokho, ake ucabange: Ingabe ubungasho ngokufanele ukuthi uye wathintana nomngane wakho uma umbhalela izincwadi ongazange uzibhale ngisho nekheli, ongazange uzifake isitembu, noma ongazange uzithumele? Ngokufanayo, iBhayibheli libonisa ukuthi uthando lwangempela lungaphezu nje kokuba umuzwa ojabulisa inhliziyo; luziveza ngamazwi nangezenzo. (Qhathanisa noJohane 14:15 neyoku-1 Johane 5:3.) UNkulunkulu wabeka isibonelo, eluveza ngamazwi uthando analo ngeNdodana yakhe: “Lena iNdodana yami, ethandekayo, engiyamukele.”—Mathewu 3:17.

Ukuncoma

Abazali bangababonisa kanjani abantwana babo uthando olunjalo? Okokuqala, bheka okuhle. Kulula ukuthola amaphutha kubantwana. Ukungavuthwa kwabo, ukungabi nalwazi nobugovu kuyobonakala ngezindlela eziningi nsuku zonke. (IzAga 22:15) Kodwa bayokwenza izinto eziningi ezinhle usuku ngalunye. Yikuphi oyogxila kukho? UNkulunkulu akagxili emaphutheni ethu kodwa ukhumbula okuhle esikwenzayo. (IHubo 130:3; Heberu 6:10) Kufanele sibaphathe ngendlela efanayo abantwana bethu.

Insizwa ethile iyaphawula: “Kukho konke ukuphila kwami ekhaya, angikhumbuli nangelilodwa ilanga nginconywa—ngenxa yengikwenzile ekhaya noma esikoleni.” Bazali, ningasishayi indiva lesi sidingo esibalulekile abantwana benu abanaso! Bonke abantwana kufanele banconywe njalo ngezinto ezinhle abazenzayo. Lokhu kuyonciphisa amathuba okuba bakhule ‘bedangele,’ becabanga ukuthi akukho abayokwenza okuyoba kuhle ngokwanele.—Kolose 3:21.

Ukukhulumisana

Enye indlela enhle yokubonisa uthando kubantwana bakho iwukulandela iseluleko sikaJakobe 1:19: ‘Usheshe ngokuphathelene nokuzwa, wephuze ngokuphathelene nokukhuluma, wephuze ngokuphathelene nolaka.’ Ingabe wenza abantwana bakho bakhulume ngokukhululeka bese ulalelisisa ukuthi bathini? Uma abantwana bakho bazi ukuthi uyobathethisa bengakaqedi ngisho nokukhuluma noma ukuthi uyothukuthela lapho uzwa indlela abazizwa ngayo ngempela, khona-ke bangase bayigodle imizwa yabo. Kodwa uma bazi ukuthi uzolalelisisa, cishe bayokuthululela isifuba ngokukhululekile.—Qhathanisa nezAga 20:5.

Nokho, kuthiwani uma beveza imizwa owaziyo ukuthi ayilungile? Ingabe yisikhathi sokusabela ngentukuthelo, sokubathethisa, noma sokubajezisa ngandlela-thile? Kuyavunywa, okunye ukuphahluka kobuntwana kungakwenza kube nzima ‘ukwephuza ngokuphathelene nokukhuluma, ukwephuza ngokuphathelene nolaka.’ Kodwa ake uphinde ucabangele isibonelo sikaNkulunkulu ekusebenzelaneni nabantwana bakhe. Ingabe ubangela isimo sokwesaba okukhwantabalisayo, okwenza abantwana bakhe besabe ukumtshela indlela abazizwa ngayo ngempela? Cha! IHubo 62:8 lithi: “Thembani [kuNkulunkulu] ngezikhathi zonke nina-bantu, nithulule inhliziyo yenu phambi kwakhe; uNkulunkulu uyisiphephelo sethu.”

Ngakho lapho u-Abrahama ayekhathazekile ngesinqumo sikaNkulunkulu sokubhubhisa imizi yaseSodoma neGomora, akazange anqikaze ukuthi kuYise wasezulwini: “Makube-kude nawe ukwenza ngalendlela, . . . umahluleli womhlaba wonke ubengayikwenza ukulunga na?” UJehova akazange amthethise u-Abrahama; wamlalela futhi wadambisa ukwesaba kwakhe. (Genesise 18:20-33) UNkulunkulu unesineke nomusa ngendlela ephawulekayo, ngisho nalapho abantwana bakhe beveza imizwa engalungile nengafanele ngokuphelele.—Jona 3:10–4:11.

Ngokufanayo abazali kudingeka bakhe isimo lapho abantwana bezizwa belondekile khona ukuveza imizwa yabo ejulile, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ingase iphazamise kangakanani. Ngakho uma umntanakho ephahluka ngentukuthelo, lalela. Kunokuba umkhahle, qaphela imizwa yomntwana futhi uthole izizathu. Ngokwesibonelo, ungase uthi: ‘Uzwakala umthukuthelele usibanibani. Ungathanda ukungitshela ukuthi kwenzenjani?’

Ukulawula Intukuthelo

Yiqiniso, akekho umzali onesineke njengoJehova. Futhi ngokuqinisekile abantwana bangasivivinya ngokugcwele isineke sabazali babo. Uma uzizwa ubathukuthelele abantwana bakho ngezikhathi ezithile, ungakhathazeki ngokuthi lokhu kukwenza umzali omubi. Ngezinye izikhathi, uyothukuthela ngokufanelekile. UNkulunkulu ngokwakhe ubathukuthelela ngokufanelekile abantwana bakhe, ngisho nabanye abayizintandokazi kuye. (Eksodusi 4:14; Duteronomi 34:10) Nokho, iZwi lakhe lisifundisa ukulawula intukuthelo yethu.—Efesu 4:26.

Kanjani? Ngezinye izikhathi kuyasiza ukuhlaba ikhefu okomzuzwana ukuze kwehle igwebu. (IzAga 17:14) Futhi khumbula, Lona umntwana! Ungalindeli ukuba aziphathe njengomuntu omdala noma acabange ngendlela evuthiwe. (1 Korinte 13:11) Ukuqonda ukuthi kungani umntanakho eziphatha ngendlela ethile kungase kudambise intukuthelo yakho. (IzAga 19:11) Ungalokothi ukhohlwe umehluko omkhulu phakathi kokwenza okuthile okubi nokuba umuntu omubi. Ukuthethisa umntwana uthi mubi kungase kumenze azibuze, ‘Kungani-ke kufanele ngizame ukuba muhle?’ Kodwa ukukhuza umntwana ngothando kuyomsiza ukuba enze intuthuko ngokuzayo.

Ukulondoloza Ukuhleleka Nenhlonipho

Ukufundisa abantwana ukuhleleka nokuba nenhlonipho kungenye yezinselele ezinkulu abazali ababhekene nazo. Ezweni lanamuhla eliyekelelayo, abaningi bayazibuza ukuthi kulungile yini ukubekela abantwana babo imingcele. IBhayibheli liyaphendula: “Uswazi nokusola kuyanika ukuhlakanipha, kepha umntwana oyekwayo uyahlazisa unina.” (IzAga 29:15) Abanye abalithandi igama elithi “uswazi,” becabanga ukuthi lisho ukuxhaphaza umntwana ngandlela-thile. Kodwa akunjalo. Igama lesiHeberu elisho “uswazi” lalibhekisela odondolweni, njengalolo olwalusetshenziswa umelusi ukuze aqondise—hhayi ukushaya—izimvu zakhe.a Ngakho uswazi lumelela ukuyala.

EBhayibhelini, ukuyala ngokuyinhloko kusho ukufundisa. Yingakho incwadi yezAga isho izikhathi ezingaba zine ukuthi ‘yizwa ukuyala.’ (IzAga 1:8; 4:1; 8:33; 19:27) Abantwana kufanele bafunde ukuthi ukwenza okulungile kuletha umvuzo nokuthi ukwenza okungalungile kuletha imiphumela emibi. Ukujezisa kungase kungakhi, kanti-ke imivuzo—njengokuncoma—ingase ikhuthaze ukuziphatha okwakhayo. (Qhathanisa noDuteronomi 11:26-28.) Abazali benza kahle ngokulingisa isibonelo sikaNkulunkulu lapho kuziwa ekujeziseni, ngoba watshela abantu bakhe ukuthi wayeyobajezisa “ngezinga elifanelekile.” (Jeremiya 46:28, NW) Abanye abantwana badinga amazwi athe ukuqina kuphela ukuze bangene endleleni. Abanye badinga izinyathelo eziqatha. Kodwa ukujezisa “ngezinga elifanelekile” ngeke kuhlanganise noma yini engase ilimaze umntwana ngokomzwelo noma ngokomzimba.

Ukuyala okulinganiselayo kufanele kuhlanganise nokufundisa abantwana ngemingcele nemibandela. Okuningi kwalokhu kuvezwe ngokucacile eZwini likaNkulunkulu. IBhayibheli lifundisa inhlonipho ngemingcele ebekelwe impahla yabantu. (Duteronomi 19:14) Libeka imingcele yokuziphatha, okwenza kube yinto engalungile ukuthanda ubudlova noma ukulimaza omunye umuntu ngamabomu. (IHubo 11:5; Mathewu 7:12) Libeka imingcele engokobulili, lilahla ubuhlobo bobulili phakathi kwezihlobo. (Levitikusi 18:6-18) Liyayiqaphela nemingcele yomuntu nengokomzwelo, liyasinqabela ukuhlambalaza omunye umuntu noma ukuhlambalaza ngezinye izindlela. (Mathewu 5:22) Ukufundisa abantwana ngalemibandela nemingcele—ngezwi nangesibonelo—kubalulekile ekwakheni isimo somkhaya esihle.

Esinye isihluthulelo sokulondoloza ukuhleleka nenhlonipho emkhayeni sitholakala ekuqondeni izindinganiso zomkhaya. Emikhayeni eminingi namuhla, izindinganiso ezinjalo azicacile noma ziyaphanjaniswa. Emikhayeni ethile, umzali uthulula izinkinga ezisindayo kumntwana, izinkinga umntwana angakuhlomele ukuzisingatha. Kweminye, abantwana bavunyelwa ukuba babe omashiqela abancane, benzele wonke umkhaya izinqumo. Lokhu akulungile futhi kuyingozi. Abazali banesibopho sokunakekela izidingo zabantwana babo—ezingokomzimba, ezingokomzwelo, noma ezingokomoya—hhayi okuphambene nalokho. (2 Korinte 12:14; 1 Thimothewu 5:8) Cabangela isibonelo sikaJakobe, owalinganisela ijubane lokuhamba kwawo wonke umkhaya wakhe nabaphelezeli ukuze abancane bangathwali kanzima. Wayekuqonda ukulinganiselwa kwabo futhi wenza ngokuvumelana nakho.—Genesise 33:13, 14.

Ukunakekela Izidingo Ezingokomoya

Akukho okubalulekile emkhayeni okahle ukwedlula ingokomoya. (Mathewu 5:3) Abantwana banethuba elihle lokukhula ngokomoya. Banemibuzo eminingi: Kungani sikhona? Ubani owenza umhlaba nezilwane zawo, izihlahla nezilwandle? Kungani abantu befa? Kwenzekani ngemva kwalokho? Kungani abantu abalungile behlelwa izinto ezimbi? Loluhlu alupheli. Ngokuvamile, kuba abazali abakhetha ukungazicabangi izinto ezinjalo.b

IBhayibheli likhuthaza abazali ukuba bachithe isikhathi beqeqesha abantwana babo ngokomoya. Likhuluma kahle ngokuqeqesha okunjalo njengengxoxo eqhubekayo phakathi kwabazali nabantwana. Abazali bangase bafundise abantwana babo ngoNkulunkulu nangeZwi lakhe lapho behamba ndawonye, behlezi endlini ndawonye, ngesikhathi sokulala—noma nini lapho ithuba livela.—Duteronomi 6:6, 7; Efesu 6:4.

IBhayibheli lenza okungaphezu kokutusa isimiso esinjalo esingokomoya. Linikeza nezinto ozozidinga. Phela, ubungayiphendula kanjani imibuzo yabantwana eshiwo ngenhla? IBhayibheli liqukethe izimpendulo. Zicacile, zihlaba umxhwele futhi zinikeza ithemba elikhulu kulelizwe elingenathemba. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukuqonda ukuhlakanipha kweBhayibheli kunganikeza abantwana bakho isisekelo esingantengi, isiqondiso esiqinile ezikhathini zanamuhla ezididayo. Banikeze lokho, futhi bayokhula kahle ngempela—manje nasesikhathini esizayo.

[Imibhalo yaphansi]

[Amazwi acashunwe esihlokweni ekhasini 11]

Njalo funa indlela yokukusho ngokuqondile lokho omncoma ngakho umntanakho

[Ibhokisi ekhasini 9]

Indlela Yokusiza Abantwana Ukuba Bakhule Kahle

• Lungiselela indawo elondekile abazizwa bethandwa futhi befunwa kuyo

• Bancome njalo. Ubancome ngokuthile ngokuqondile

• Yiba isilaleli esihle

• Hlaba ikhefu lapho kuqubuka intukuthelo

• Beka imingcele nemibandela ecacile, engaguquguquki

• Yenza isiyalo sivumelane nezidingo zomntwana ngamunye

• Ungalindeli okuningi kumntanakho kunalokho okufanele

• Nakekela izidingo ezingokomoya ngesifundo sasikhathi sonke seZwi likaNkulunkulu

[Ibhokisi ekhasini 10]

Lakwenza Kusengaphambili

IZIMISO zeBhayibheli zazisiza abantu bakwa-Israyeli wasendulo ukuba bajabulele indinganiso yokuphila komkhaya eyayiphakeme kakhulu kuneyezizwe ezizungezile. Isazi-mlando u-Alfred Edersheim siyaphawula: “Ngalé kwemingcele yakwa-Israyeli, kwakungase kungenzeki nhlobo ukukhuluma ngokuphila komkhaya, noma ngisho nangawo umkhaya, ngokwendlela esiwuqonda ngayo.” Ngokwesibonelo, kumaRoma asendulo umthetho wawunikeza ubaba wonke amandla emkhayeni. Wayengathengisa abantwana bakhe ebugqilini, abenze izisebenzi, noma ababulale ngisho nokubabulala—ngaphandle kokuthola isijeziso.

Amanye amaRoma ayecabanga ukuthi amaJuda ayinqaba ngokuphatha abantwana bawo ngomusa. Eqinisweni, isazi-mlando esingumRoma sekhulu lokuqala uTacitus sabhala amazwi anenzondo ngamaJuda, sithi amasiko awo “ayehlanekezelwe futhi enengeka.” Nokho, savuma: “Kuyicala kuwo ukubulala noma yiluphi usana olusanda kuzalwa.”

IBhayibheli lalinikeza indinganiso ephakeme. Lalifundisa amaJuda ukuthi abantwana bayigugu—eqinisweni kwakufanele babhekwe njengefa elivela kuNkulunkulu ngokwakhe—futhi kwakufanele baphathwe ngokuvumelana naleyo ndlela. (IHubo 127:3) Ngokusobala amaningi ayephila ngaleso seluleko. Ngisho nolimi lwawo lwalwembula okuthile ngokuphathelene nalokhu. U-Edersheim uphawula ukuthi ngaphandle kwamagama asho indodana nendodakazi, amaHeberu asendulo ayenamagama angu-9 ayesetshenziswa kubantwana, ngalinye lisebenza esigabeni esihlukile sokuphila. Ngokwesibonelo, kwakunegama lokuchaza umntwana osancela kanye nelinye elichaza umntwana owayeselunyuliwe. Kubantwana abase bekhulakhulile, kwakusetshenziswa igama elalibonisa ukuthi base beqinaqina. Kanti entsheni esikhulile, kwakusetshenziswa igama ngokwezwi nezwi elalisho ‘ukudlubulunda.’ U-Edersheim uyaphawula: “Ngokuqinisekile, labo ababeqaphela ukuphila komntwana kangangokuba banikeze igama elicacile lesigaba ngasinye sokuba khona kwakhe, kumelwe ukuba babebathanda kakhulu abantwana babo.”