Intsha Iyabuza . . .
Kungani Kufanele Ngimazi Ugogo Nomkhulu?
“Lapho ngixabana nomama, ugogo wayesisiza sixazulule inkinga.”—UDamaris.
“KUWO wonke umlando, ogogo nomkhulu baye baba isihluthulelo sokuzwana emkhayeni nokudlulisela izimiso zomkhaya.” Ubhala kanjalo uDkt. Arthur Kornhaber encwadini yakhe ethi Grandparent Power! Uyanezela: “Njengothisha, abasizi babazali, izazi-mlando, abondli, abeluleki, ngisho nabajabulisi, imisebenzi yabo engokwengqondo, engokwenhlalo nengokomoya yayibaluleké kakhulu. Ngangizibuza ukuthi kwenzeka kanjani ukuba umphakathi wethu ungayinaki le ndima yogogo nomkhulu enamandla nenezici eziningi kangaka.”
Ezinsukwini zakudala, ogogo nomkhulu babeyisisekelo sokuphila komkhaya, ikakhulukazi phakathi kwabakhulekeli bakaJehova uNkulunkulu. IBhayibheli layala ama-Israyeli ukuba abahloniphe futhi abazise abantu abadala. (Levitikusi 19:32) Ogogo nomkhulu babebhekwa njengabalufanelekele kakhulu udumo.—1 Thimothewu 5:4.
Ngokudabukisayo, izikhathi sezishintshile. Ukuhlala kude kuvame ukuhlukanisa imikhaya, futhi intsha eningi ayixhumani nogogo nomkhulu bayo. Isimo sengqondo naso sishintshile. Ezingxenyeni eziningi zomhlaba, abantu abadala—kuhlanganise nezihlobo—abasaphathwa ngenhlonipho efanele. (2 Thimothewu 3:1-3) Lokho okwakuthiwa yigebe lesizukulwane manje sekuwumhosha omkhulu. Intsha eningi icabanga ukuthi ogogo nomkhulu bayo badala futhi abazi lutho ngesimanje. Ayicabangi ukuthi laba bantu abadala bangase baziqonde izingcindezi nezinkinga intsha ebhekana nazo namuhla.
Uma uzizwa ngaleyo ndlela, zimisele ukushintsha umcabango! Ngoba kukhona inzuzo enkulu ekwazini ugogo nomkhulu wakho—ikakhulukazi uma besaba uNkulunkulu. Futhi uma ungabazi, ungase uphuthelwe lukhulu. Kanjani?
Umthombo Wokuhlakanipha Neseluleko
Intsha eningi iye yathola ukuthi ogogo nomkhulu bangaba isivikelo phakathi neminyaka yobusha enzima. Umagazini i-Seventeen waphawula: “Njengoba benolwazi ngenxa yamashumi eminyaka bephila, bavame ukuba usizo ekubhekaneni nezinkinga kunabangane abangontanga yenu, abakhathazwa yizo kanye izinto ezikukhathazayo nawe. Wena nontanga yenu nibhekene nosizi lokuqala kokushintsha kokuphila kwenu; ugogo nomkhulu wakho baye badlula ngempumelelo ezintweni eziningi ezinjalo. Ngokuvamile bahlakaniphile futhi banemiqondo esheshayo.” Lesi seluleko simane sifakazela lokho iBhayibheli elakusho emakhulwini eminyaka adlule, lapho lithi: “Ubumpunga bungumqhele wodumo; bufumaniswa endleleni yokulunga.”—IzAga 16:31.
Yiqiniso, kungenzeka ukuthi ugogo nomkhulu wakho bakhula izwe lisahluké kakhulu kulokhu eliyikho manje esikhathini ophila kuso. Kodwa ungaqiniseka ukuthi nabo bake baba nemizwa olwa nayo njengamanje. Njengoba wena ungenalwazi lokubhekana nemizwa enjalo, ugogo nomkhulu baye bafunda ukubhekana nayo ekuphileni kwabo konke. (IzAga 1:4) Indoda elungile uJobe yathi: “Ezimpungeni kukhona ukuhlakanipha, nasebudeni bezinsuku ukuqonda.” (Jobe 12:12) Yebo, ngenxa yaleso sizathu ogogo nomkhulu bangaba usizo ngempela lapho intsha idinga iseluleko esinokulinganisela, isikhuthazo noma ukusekelwa.
Ngokwesibonelo, ugogo kaDamaris osakhula wayehlala noDamaris kanye nonina efulethini elilodwa. UDamaris uyakhumbula: “Lapho ngixabana nomama, ugogo wayesisiza sixazulule inkinga. Wayengibonisa indlela ehlukile yokubheka izinto.”
U-Alexandria wabhekana nesimo esifanayo lapho umkhaya wakubo uthutha futhi kudingeka ashintshe isikole. “Uthisha wami omusha wayenokhahlo futhi ecasulwa ubala ngezinye izikhathi,” kusho u-Alexandria. Ngakho kwakunzima ngo-Alexandria ukuba ajwayele esikoleni sakhe esisha. Kodwa ugogo wakhe wamsiza. Wasiza u-Alexandria ukuba ajwayele ngokumkhuthaza ukuba abe nombono wethemba ngalesi simo. U-Alexandria uthi: “Manje ngiyasithanda isikole nothisha wami.”
Insizwa yaseBrazil okuthiwa uRafael ikhumbula indlela ugogo nomkhulu wayo abayisiza ngayo lapho yenza izifundo zayo zokunezela ngemva kokuphothula esikoleni esiphakeme: “Bangeluleka kakhulu ngabangane nokuthi ngingamelana kanjani nezinkinga zezidakamizwa.” URafael manje usekhonza njengomshumayeli wesikhathi esigcwele.
Encwadini yakhe ethi Grandparenting in a Changing World, u-Eda LeShan ulandisa ngendaba yakhe njengogogo. Uyabhala: “Intombazane engumzukulu wami yangishayela ucingo ngelinye ilanga yathi, ‘Gogo, ngidinga usizo ngokucindezela kontanga.’ Ezinye izingane efunda nazo zazizama ukuyicindezela ukuba iphole nabafana, abanye babo ababeyishayela ucingo.” Ngenxa yokucela komzukulu wakhe usizo, ugogo wamnika iseluleko esaba usizo ayeludinga. Nawe ungase uthole ukuthi ingxoxo emfushane nogogo noma nomkhulu onothando ingaba umthombo wangempela wokusekela okungokomzwelo.
Ogogo nomkhulu ngokuvamile bawusizo kakhulu ngezikhathi zezinhlekelele emkhayeni, njengokugula noma ukufa. Ngemva kokuba uLacey osemncane eshonelwe uyise ngenxa yokugula, ugogo wakhe wamsiza ukuba abhekane nakho. “Sesisondelene kakhulu kunakuqala,” kusho uLacey.
Isibopho Esikhethekile Sothando
Ubuhlobo bakho nogogo noma nomkhulu bungase bungakucindezeli njengoba ngokuvamile kunjalo entsheni nabazali bayo. Kungani kungase kube njalo? Ngenxa yokuthi ogogo nomkhulu bavame ukujabulela isibopho esikhethekile nabazukulu babo. IBhayibheli lithi: “Amaxhegu ayaziqhenya ngabazukulu bawo.”—IzAga 17:6, Today’s English Version.
Khumbula futhi ukuthi abazali bakho—hhayi ogogo nomkhulu—okufanele bathwale umthwalo onzima wokukukhulisa “ngesiyalo nangokuqondisa umqondo kukaJehova.” (Efesu 6:4) Ngenxa yokuthi indima yabo ayibizeli kakhulu, ogogo nomkhulu wakho bangase bangakugxeki njengabazali bakho. Kanti ngokuvamile ogogo nomkhulu abaminyanisiwe imithwalo yemfanelo nezingcindezi zokunakekela umkhaya nsuku zonke. Ngenxa yokuthi bangase bakhululeke ezingcindezini ezinjalo ngezinga elithile, kungase kube lula ngabo ukusabela ezidingweni zakho noma ukukunaka. UTom oneminyaka engu-17 ubudala ukhumbula indlela ugogo nomkhulu wakhe ababemnaka ngayo. Babemthumelela “izipho ezincane uma ephase kahle”; baze bamkhokhela ngisho nezifundo zakhe zokudlala uphiyano.
Yiqiniso, akubona bonke ogogo nomkhulu abakwazi ukuphana ngezipho ezinjalo, kodwa bangase babe nesithakazelo kuwe, mhlawumbe ngokukuncoma nangokukukhuthaza noma ngokukulalela ngezikhathi ezithile. Lokhu kungase kunenze nibe nesibopho esijulile sobungane. UDamaris uthi ngogogo wakhe: “Ungenza ngizizwe ngikhululekile, ngingaya kuye ngixoxe naye noma nini ngoba uhlale ezimisele ukulalela—ngisho noma engikushoyo kungenangqondo ngaleso sikhathi.” Osemusha okuthiwa uJônatas naye ujabulela “inkululeko yokukhuluma nethuba lokuxoxa ngezinto ezingathi sína” nogogo nomkhulu wakhe.
Ukushintshana
Nakuba ogogo nomkhulu bengakunika ukuhlakanipha nothando lwabo, nabo bangazuza emandleni akho obusha nobungane. Kanjani? Kunezindlela eziningana ongasiza ngazo futhi usekele ugogo nomkhulu wakho. Ngokuvamile amandla abo angokomzimba ayaphela. Noma kungase kube ukuthi bayagula. Akungabazeki ukuthi bayokhuthazeka uma ubasiza ngokuthenga nangemisebenzi yasendlini.
Ogogo nomkhulu abaningi bangabafelokazi nabafelwa futhi ngezinye izikhathi baba nesizungu. Ngokubonisa isithakazelo kubo, ungabasiza kakhulu ukuba banqobe isizungu futhi balondoloze ugqozi lwabo ngokuphila. Ukwenza kanjalo kungenye indlela yokulandela isiyalo seBhayibheli ‘sokuqhubeka ukhokha imbuyiselo oyikweletayo kubazali babazali bakho, ngoba lokhu kuyamukeleka emehlweni kaNkulunkulu.’—1 Thimothewu 5:4.
Akungabazeki ukuthi ukusondela kugogo nomkhulu kungacebisa ukuphila kwakho—nokwabo! Mhlawumbe ubungasondelene nabo kuze kube manje. Mhlawumbe ufuna ukukushintsha lokho kodwa awazi ukuthi uqalephi. Kungase kube ukuthi ogogo nomkhulu wakho bahlala kude noma abazali bakho sebahlukana futhi lokhu kuye kwakuhlukanisa nogogo nomkhulu. Isihloko sesikhathi esizayo siyonikeza ukusikisela okuwusizo kokuthi ungabhekana kanjani nezimo ezinjalo.
[Isithombe ekhasini 17]
Ogogo nomkhulu bangaba yizilaleli ezinhle nomthombo weseluleko nokusekela
[Isithombe ekhasini 18]
Yiba usizo kugogo nomkhulu wakho