Indlela Ongasiza Ngayo

“Izingane ezicindezelekile zidinga usizo. Kodwa izingane azinakuluthola zizodwa lolo sizo. Umuntu omdala kufanele aqaphele inkinga kuqala futhi angayithathi kancane. Lokho kunzima.”—UDkt. Mark S. Gold.

YINI ongayenza uma usola ukuthi ingane yakho icindezelekile? Okokuqala, ungasheshi wenze izinqumo ngalolu daba. Phela, kungenzeka izimpawu zikhomba kokuthile okuhluke ngokuphelele.a Ngaphezu kwalokho, bonke abasha bayadumala ngezikhathi ezithile. Kodwa uma isimo siphikelela futhi sibonakala singaphezu nje kokudumala kwesikhashana, kungase kube ngcono kakhulu ukuthintana nodokotela. Kulesi simo, kuhle ukukhumbula amazwi kaJesu, athi: “Abantu abanempilo enhle abamdingi udokotela, kodwa abagulayo abamdingayo.”—Mathewu 9:12.

Ngokungagwegwesi, nikeza udokotela konke ukwaziswa okuwusizo ongamnika kona, kuhlanganise nezinguquko zamuva ekuphileni kosemusha okungenzeka zinengxenye ekudumaleni kwakhe. Qiniseka ukuthi udokotela uchitha isikhathi esanele elalele izimpawu ngaphambi kokuba athole isifo. UDkt. David G. Fassler uyaxwayisa: “Akunakwenzeka ukuqongelela konke ukwaziswa okudingekayo ukuze uxilonge ingane ngokugcwele phakathi nokuhambela okukodwa kwemizuzu engu-20.”

Ungesabi ukubuza udokotela noma yimiphi imibuzo ongase ube nayo. Ngokwesibonelo, uma udokotela enomuzwa wokuthi ingane yakho inesifo sokucindezeleka, ungase uthande ukubuza ukuthi kungani engasoli ezinye izifo. Uma ukungabaza okushiwo udokotela, mtshele ukuthi ungathanda ukuthola omunye umbono. Ngokuqinisekile, akekho udokotela oqotho ongenqaba ukuba wenze kanjalo.

Ukwamukela Isimo

Uma ingane yakho inesifo sokucindezeleka, ungabi namahloni ngaleso simo. Iqiniso liwukuthi ukucindezeleka kungahlasela ngisho nentsha ekahle kakhulu. Empeleni, iBhayibheli libonisa ukuthi imizwelo ebuhlungu yafikela nabanye ababenza okusemandleni abo ukukhonza uNkulunkulu, kungakhathaliseki ubudala babo. Cabangela uJobe owayethembekile, owazizwa eshiywe nguNkulunkulu ngakho waqala ukuzonda ukuphila. (Jobe 10:1; 29:2, 4, 5) UHana wayeyinceku kaNkulunkulu ‘eyayinomphefumulo onomunyu’ kangangokuba yayingakwazi ngisho nokudla. (1 Samuweli 1:4-10) Kwakukhona noJakobe, indoda eyayihlonipha uNkulunkulu, owalila izinsuku eziningi ngemva kokufa kwendodana yakhe futhi “wala ukududuzwa.” Ingani uJakobe waze wazwakalisa nesifiso sakhe sokuyolala ethuneni nendodana yakhe! (Genesise 37:33-35) Ngakho, ukucindezeleka ngokomzwelo akubangelwa njalo ubuthakathaka obungokomoya.

Nokho, ukucindezeleka kwengane kungaba nzima kakhulu kubazali. “Ngihlala ngiqinisé amazinyo,” kusho umama wosemusha othile ocindezelekile. “Ngikhathazekile, nginovalo, nginobutha, ngithukuthele futhi ngitubekile.” Omunye uyavuma: “Kwakuthi uma ngiphumile bese ngibona umama ethenga nendodakazi yakhe esakhula ngibe nenhliziyo ebuhlungu ngoba nganginomuzwa wokuthi ngangingeke ngiphinde ngikwazi ukukwenza lokho [nendodakazi yami].”

Kungokwemvelo ukuzizwa ngaleyo ndlela. Nokho, ngezinye izikhathi kungase kukuthene amandla. Uma lokho kwenzeka, kungani ungathululi isifuba kumngane omethembayo? IzAga 17:17 zithi: “Umngane uthanda ngezikhathi zonke, nomzalwane uzalwa ekuhluphekeni.” Ungawudebeseleli nomthandazo. IBhayibheli liyasiqinisekisa ukuthi uma siphonsa umthwalo wethu kuNkulunkulu, uyosisekela.—IHubo 55:22.

Umkhuba Wokusola Othile

Abazali abaningi bentsha ecindezelekile badumala ngokweqile babe nomuzwa wokuthi yibona abanecala ngandlela-thile ngesimo. Omunye umzali uthi: “Uma umntanakho ecindezelekile, uzizwa unecala futhi akukho muntu ongakutshela okuhlukile. Uzibuza njalo ukuthi, ‘Soné ngani? Kushintshe nini? Mina ngibe nayiphi ingxenye kulokhu?’” Abazali bangacabanga kanjani ngendlela elinganiselayo kulesi simo?

Akungabazeki ukuthi ukuba nokhahlo ekhaya kungayilimaza ingane. Ngesizathu esihle, iBhayibheli liyala obaba: “Ningabathukuthelisi abantwana benu, ukuze bangadangali.” (Kolose 3:21) Ngakho-ke, abazali bayobe benza kahle uma behlaziya izindlela abasebenzelana ngazo nezingane zabo futhi balungise lapho kudingeke khona. Kodwa ukucindezeleka akubangelwa yiphutha labazali ngaso sonke isikhathi. Empeleni, lesi sifo sihlasela ngisho nemikhaya enothando kakhulu. Ngakho, abazali abenza konke okusemandleni ukuba basize izingane zabo akudingeki bazizwe benecala.

Kubaluleke ngendlela efanayo ukuba ningayisoli ingane ecindezelekile. Phela, kungenzeka ayinandlela yokulawula lesi sifo. Umama othile uthi: “Ngangingasoze ngimsole ngokuthi uphethwe upokisi noma i-pneumonia.” Uyavuma: “Kodwa lapho ecindezelekile, yilokho engakwenza. Ngasola umntanami ngokuthi uyagula—okungenza ngiphatheke kabi.” Ukubheka ukucindezeleka njengesifo, hhayi ubuthakathaka, kuyosiza abazali nabanye ukuba bagxile endleleni abangamsekela ngayo ogulayo.

Ukukhulisa ingane ecindezelekile kungabangela inkinga enkulu ebuhlotsheni phakathi kwabazali. “Sasibekana amacala,” kusho inkosikazi ethile, “ikakhulukazi uma sicabanga ngokuphila esasinethemba lako nokuphila esasikuphila ngenxa yendodana yethu.” UTim, onendodakazi ecindezelekile, uyavuma: “Kulula ukusola umngane wakho womshado. Uma abazali benezinkinga zomshado ngaphambi kokuba izimpawu zokucindezeleka zibonakale enganeni, ukuziphatha kwayo okungaqondakali kungashubisa isimo.” Ningavumeli ukucindezeleka kwengane kuchithe umshado wenu! Ngempela, akusizi ngalutho ukusola othile—kungaba nguwena ngokwakho, ingane yakho, noma umngane wakho womshado. Okubalulekile ukusekela ogulayo.

Ukusekela

IBhayibheli liyala amaKristu: “Nikhulume ngokududuzayo nemiphefumulo ecindezelekile.” (1 Thesalonika 5:14) Uma osemusha ocindezelekile ekhathazwa yimizwa yokuzinyeza, ungasiza. Kanjani? Ngokuqinisekile hhayi ngamazwi okwahlulela anjengokuthi, “Akufanele uzizwe ngaleyo ndlela” noma “Akuwona umbono omuhle lowo onawo.” Kunalokho, zama ukuba nomusa ngokubonisa ‘uzwela.’ (1 Petru 3:8) UPawulu wayala amaKristu ukuba ‘akhale nabantu abakhalayo.’ (Roma 12:15) Khumbula, umuntu ocindezeleke ngempela uzwa ubuhlungu. Akubona ubuhlungu obucatshangelwayo, futhi akukona ukuzenzisa ukuze nje abanye bamnake. Ngemva kokulalela, zama ukwenza ogulayo akhulume. Mbuze ukuthi kungani ezizwa ngaleyo ndlela. Khona-ke, ngesineke nangomusa siza osemusha abone ukuthi kungani ukuzibukela phansi ngaleyo ndlela kungafanele. Ukuqinisekisa ogulayo ngothando nesihe sikaNkulunkulu kungase kudambise ukukhathazeka.—1 Petru 5:6, 7.

Kungase kube nezinye izinyathelo eziwusizo ongazithatha. Ngokwesibonelo, kungase kudingeke ukuba uqiniseke ukuthi ingane yakho ecindezelekile iphumula ngokwanele, idla kahle, futhi iyawuvivinya umzimba. (UmShumayeli 4:6) Uma enikwe imithi, kungaba ukuhlakanipha ukusiza osemusha abone ukubaluleka kokuyiphuza. Ungadikibali ekumsekeleni, futhi ungakhathali ekuboniseni uthando.

Kuyavunywa ukuthi ukucindezeleka kwengane kungaba isimo esikhungathekisayo, kogulayo nakuwo wonke umkhaya. Ekugcineni, isineke, ukuphikelela nothando kuyoba isisekelo sokusiza intsha ecindezelekile.

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Umuntu ocindezeleke ngempela uzwa ubuhlungu. Akubona ubuhlungu obucatshangelwayo

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Uma Ungosemusha Ocindezelekile

Awukuthwele wedwa, futhi likhona ithemba. Ukucindezeleka kwakho kungenzeka kubangelwa (1) ukungalingani kwamakhemikhali emzimbeni noma (2) izimo zokuphila ongenamandla okuzilawula. Kunoma yikuphi, akulona icala lakho ukuthi ukuleso simo. Noma kunjalo, yini ongayenza ngako?

IBhayibheli lithi “kukhona abangane ababambelela kuneselamani.” (IzAga 18:24) Kungani ungatholi umngane onjalo umvulele isifuba? Omunye wabazali bakho noma omunye umuntu omdala ovuthiwe angaba usizo olukhulu kuwe ekulweni nokucindezeleka.

Uma abazali bakho becabanga ukuthi unesifo sokucindezeleka, bangase bakuyise kudokotela onolwazi ekwelapheni leso sifo. Lesi isinyathelo esihlakaniphile, ngoba ngokuvamile ukucindezeleka kungelashwa ngemithi, lapho itholakala khona. Ngokwesibonelo, uma inkinga kuwukungalingani kwamakhemikhali, kungase kutuswe imithi edambisa ukucindezeleka. Uma kunjalo ngawe, ungabi namahloni okuphuza leyo mithi. Imane ibuyisela amakhemikhali ekubeni alingane ngendlela efanele emzimbeni wakho, futhi lokhu kungase kube yindlela yokukusiza ukuba uthole injabulo ethile ekuphileni futhi usimame.

Abantu abaningi abacindezelekile baye bathola induduzo ngokufunda iBhayibheli nokusondela kuNkulunkulu ngomthandazo. IBhayibheli liyasiqinisekisa: “UJehova useduze nabo abanenhliziyo eyaphukileyo; uyabasindisa abanomoya odabukileyo.”b—IHubo 34:18.

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Usizo Nethemba Kwabagulayo

Njengoba ukucindezeleka kuyindaba eyinkimbinkimbi, asizicabangelanga zonke izici zale ndaba kulolu chungechunge olufushane lwezihloko. Noma kunjalo, abanyathelisi be-Phaphama! bayaqiniseka ukuthi amaphuzu avezwe kuzo angasiza intsha nabazali ukuba bakhuthazelele lesi sifo esikhungathekisayo.

Kungenzeka uphawulile ukuthi iziqondiso eziningi esihlokweni esandulele zisekelwe eBhayibhelini. Yiqiniso, liyincwadi yasendulo. Kodwa, iseluleko salo siyasebenza namuhla njengoba kwakunjalo lapho libhalwa. Ngani? Ngoba nakuba izikhathi sezishintshile, abantu abakashintshi. Sibhekene nezinkinga eziyisisekelo ezifanayo nalezo izizukulwane zesikhathi esidlule ezazibhekene nazo. Umahluko ukuthi namuhla lezi zinkinga zinkulu kakhulu futhi zithé chithi saka.

Kodwa kunesinye isizathu esenza iBhayibheli libe usizo kakhulu: Liphefumulelwe uNkulunkulu. (2 Thimothewu 3:16) NjengoMdali wethu, uyakwazi esikudingayo ukuze sizuze ngokugcwele ekuphileni.

Yiqiniso, iBhayibheli aliyona incwadi yezokwelapha. Ngakho, alenzi kungabe kusadingeka ukuba sifune ukwelashwa okufanele kwezifo ezinjengokucindezeleka. Noma kunjalo, iBhayibheli liqukethe izimiso ezingasisiza ukuba siduduze abagulayo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, liqukethe isithembiso sikaNkulunkulu sokuthi maduze uzokwelapha zonke izifo zethu. (IHubo 103:3) Yebo, uJehova ujongé ‘ukuphilisa izinhliziyo zabachotshoziweyo.’—Isaya 57:15.

Ungathanda yini ukufunda okwengeziwe ngaleli themba elibabazekayo? Siza uthintane noFakazi BakaJehova endaweni yakini noma ubhalele ekhelini elifanele kwasekhasini 5 lalo magazini.

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Lwela ukubonisa uzwela

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Uma ukucindezeleka kosemusha kuqhubeka, kuwukuhlakanipha ukumyisa kudokotela

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Njengomzali, ungasheshi uzibeke icala wena, umngane wakho womshado, noma umntanakho