Inkinga Ekhulayo Yobaba Abangekho
O BABA abaningi ngokwandayo bashiya imikhaya yabo. Ngasekupheleni kwawo-1990, iphephandaba i-USA Today lathi elase-United States “lingungqa phambili emhlabeni uma kuziwa emikhayeni engenabo obaba.” Nokho, ukungabikho kobaba kuyinkinga yomhlaba wonke.
EBrazil umbiko wokubalwa kwabantu ka-2000 wembula ukuthi emikhayeni eyizigidi ezingu-44,7 yakulelo zwe, eyizigidi ezingu-11,2 iphethwe abesifazane. ENicaragua, izingane ezingamaphesenti angu-25 zihlala nonina kuphela. ECosta Rica isibalo sezingane ezaphikwa oyise senyuka phakathi nawo-1990 sisuka kumaphesenti angu-21,1 saya kwangu-30,4.
Izibalo ezivela kula mazwe amathathu zimane nje ziyizibonelo ezimbalwa zesimo esidlange umhlaba wonke. Cabangela esinye isici senkinga yobaba abangekho.
Bakhona Kodwa Abekho
Sicela ubheke ibhokisi elithi “Baba, Uzobuya Nini Futhi?” UNao, manje oneminyaka engu-23 ubudala, uyavuma: “Ngesikhathi ngingakaqali esikoleni, kwakuqabukela ukuba ngibone ubaba. Kwathi ngolunye usuku lapho ehamba, ngamncenga, ‘Uzobuya futhi, angithi?’ ”
Ubuhlobo bomkhaya obunjengobukaNao noyise yibo obashukumisela umlobi wasePoland uPiotr Szczukiewicz ukuba athi: “Ubaba ubonakala eyisici esibalulekile esingekho ekhaya.” Iqiniso, obaba abaningi baphila nemindeni yabo futhi bayondle. Nokho, njengoba umagazini waseFrance i-Capital wakubeka, “obaba abaningi baneliseka kuphela ngendima yokuletha ukudla ekhaya, abayingeni eyokufundisa.”
Ngokuvamile, isimo siba wukuthi ubaba ukhona ekhaya kodwa akazibandakanyi ekuphileni kwezingane zakhe. Usuke enake ezinye izinto. “Ngisho noma [ubaba] ekhona ngesiqu sakhe,” kuphawula umagazini waseFrance i-Famille chrétienne, “angase angabi khona ngengqondo.” Kungani obaba abaningi kangaka namuhla bengekho emikhayeni yabo ngokwengqondo nangokomzwelo?
Njengoba umagazini oshiwo ngenhla uchaza, isizathu esiyinhloko siwukuthi ubaba “uyehluleka ukuqonda indima yokuba ubaba noma umyeni.” Ngokombono wobaba abaningi, indima yokuba ubaba omuhle imane nje iwukuletha umholo obhekile ekhaya. Njengoba umlobi wasePoland uJózef Augustyn akubeka, “obaba abaningi bacabanga ukuthi bangabazali abakahle ngoba bangenisa imali ekhaya.” Kodwa ukwenza lokho kumane nje kuyingxenye yomthwalo wemfanelo kababa.
Iqiniso liwukuthi ezinganeni ubaba akabhekwa ngobungako bemali ayitholayo noma ukuthi izipho azinika zona zibiza malini. Kunalokho, lokho izingane ezikufunayo ngempela—yinto ekude kunezipho eziphathekayo—uthando lukababa, isikhathi sakhe nokuba azinake. Yilezi zinto ezibaluleke ngempela kuzo.
Isidingo Sokuhlaziya Kabusha
Ngokombiko woMkhandlu Wemfundo Kazwelonke eJapane, “obaba kufanele bahlaziye kabusha indlela yabo yokuphila, egxile kakhulu emsebenzini.” Umbuzo uwukuthi, Ingabe ubaba angalwenza yini ushintsho uma kudingeka ngenxa yezingane zakhe? Iphephandaba laseJalimane i-Gießener Allgemeine labika ngenhlolo-vo eyenziwa, kuyona obaba abaningi okwaxoxwa nabo abenqaba ukuba izingane zabo zize kuqala kunomsebenzi wabo wokuziphilisa.
Ukubonakala kobaba bengenasithakazelo kuyo kungayilimaza kakhulu intsha. ULidia, manje oseneminyaka engu-21, ukhumbula kahle ukuthi uyise wayenjani lapho yena eseyintombazanyana ePoland. Uyachaza: “Wayengalokothi axoxe nathi. Wayephila kwelinye izwe nathi sikwelinye. Wayengazi ukuthi ngangichitha isikhathi sami sokungcebeleka ngisema-disco.” Ngokufanayo, uMacarena, oneminyaka engu-21 ubudala waseSpain, uthi lapho eseyingane, uyise “wayehamba ngezimpelasonto nabangane bakhe eyozijabulisa, futhi kaningi wayenyamalala izinsukwana.”
Ukuhlela Kahle Izinto Okufanele Zize Kuqala
Obaba abaningi bangase baqaphele ukuthi asanele isikhathi abasichitha nezingane zabo nokuthi abazinaki ngokwanele. Ubaba womfana oweve eshumini nambili waseJapane wathi: “Ngiyethemba ukuthi umntanami uzosiqonda isimo engikuso. Ngicabanga ngaye njalo, yize ngimatasa.” Nokho, ingabe ukumane nje wethembe ukuthi ingane izoqonda ukuthi kungani uyise engekho kuyayixazulula inkinga?
Ngaphandle kokungabaza—kudingeka umzamo wangempela, yebo, ukuzidela—ukuze kwaneliswe izidingo zengane. Ngokusobala, ukunikeza izingane lokho ezikudinga kakhulu—okuwukuthi, uthando, isikhathi, nokunakwa—akulula. UJesu Kristu wathi: “Umuntu akumelwe aphile ngesinkwa [noma ukudla okungokwenyama] sodwa.” (Mathewu 4:4) Kuyiqiniso nokuthi izingane azikwazi ukukhula kahle zibe zinezinto ezibonakalayo kuphela. Njengobaba, ingabe uzimisele ukudela lokho okungase kube yigugu kakhulu kuwe—isikhathi sakho noma mhlawumbe ngisho nanentuthuko yakho emsebenzini—ukuze ube nezingane zakho?
Iphephandaba i-Mainichi Daily News ka-February 10, 1986, ikhuluma ngobaba owaqaphela ukuthi izingane zakhe zibaluleke kangakanani. Labika: “Isikhulu esiphezulu kuyi-Japanese National Railways (JNR) sikhethe ukusula emsebenzini kunokuba sihlukaniswe nomkhaya waso.” Leli phephandaba labe selicaphuna lesi sikhulu sithi: “Umsebenzi wokuba ngumqondisi jikelele ungenziwa yinoma ubani. Kodwa yimina kuphela engiwubaba wezingane zami.”
Ngempela, isinyathelo sokuqala sokuba ubaba omuhle siwukuqaphela ukuthi izingane zidinga ubaba onjani. Ake sihlole ukuthi kuhilelani ukuba yilowo baba.
[Ibhokisi ekhasini 19]
“Baba, Uzobuya Nini Futhi?”
Umbuzo uNao, intombazanyana yaseJapane eneminyaka emihlanu, awubuza uyise lapho ephuma eya emsebenzini ngolunye usuku. Nakuba uyise ayehlala ekhaya, kwakuqabukela ukuba ambone. Ngokuvamile wayefika uNao eselele lapho evela emsebenzini kanti nalapho eya emsebenzini wayemshiya esalele.