Intsha Iyabuza . . .
Ngingayeka Kanjani Ukuzilimaza?
“Ubuhlungu benhliziyo enganginabo babungasalawuleki. Kodwa ngathola okuthile engangikwazi ukukulawula—ubuhlungu obungokomzimba.”—UJennifer, oneminyaka engu-20.a
“Ngangizisika uma nje ngike ngacasuka. Kwakuyindlela yami yokukhala. Ngangijabula ngemva kwalokho.”—UJessica, oneminyaka engu-17.
“Sekungamasonto amabili manje ngingazilimazi. Yisikhathi eside leso kimi. Angicabangi ukuthi ngiyoke ngikuyeke ngokuphelele.”—UJamie, oneminyaka engu-16.
UJENNIFER, uJessica noJamie abazani, kodwa kuningi abafana ngakho. Bobathathu babenobuhlungu obungokomzwelo. Futhi bobathathu bathola indlela efanayo yokubhekana nokuphelelwa kwabo yithemba. UJennifer, uJessica noJamie bathola impumuzo yesikhashana ngokuzilimaza.b
Nakuba kuyinto eyinqaba, ukuzilimaza—okubizwa nangokuthi ukuzisika—sekuvame kakhulu ezinganeni nasentsheni esikhulile. I-National Post yaseCanada ithi lo mkhuba “uyabethusa abazali, ushiye othisha abangabeluleki bedidekile futhi uyinselele kodokotela.” Ithi futhi ukuzilimaza “kungaba phakathi kwezinhlobo zokulutheka ezinzima kunazo zonke ezaziwayo emkhakheni wezokwelapha.” Ingabe wena noma othile omaziyo useyisigqila salo mkhuba? Uma kunjalo, yini ongayenza ngakho?
Okokuqala, zama ukuthola ukuthi siyini isizathu esikwenza uzizwe uphoqelekile ukuba uzilimaze. Khumbula, ukuzisika akuwona nje umkhuba obangelwa ukuphazamiseka kwemizwa. Ngokuvamile, kuyindlela yokubhekana nokucindezeleka okuthile. Ozilimazayo usebenzisa ubuhlungu bomzimba ukudambisa ubuhlungu obungokomzwelo. Ngakho zibuze: ‘Kufeza yiphi injongo kimi ukuzilimaza? Ngisuke ngicabangani lapho ngifikelwa isifiso sokuzisika?’ Ingabe kunesimo esithile ekuphileni kwakho—mhlawumbe esithinta umkhaya wakini noma abangane bakho—esikwenza ucindezeleke?
Ngokungangabazeki, uzodinga isibindi ukuze uzihlole ngale ndlela. Kodwa izinzuzo zingaba nkulu kakhulu. Ngokuvamile, ukuzihlola kuyisinyathelo sokuqala esiya ekuqedeni inkinga yokuzilimaza. Nokho, kuningi okudingekayo kunokuthola umsuka walo mkhuba nje kuphela.
Ukubaluleka Kokutshela Othile Ngemizwa Yakho
Uma uye wanqotshwa umkhuba wokuzilimaza, uzozuza ngokutshela umngane ovuthiwe futhi omethembayo ngemizwa yakho ekuhluphayo. Isaga seBhayibheli sithi: “Ukukhathazeka kungakuphuca injabulo, kodwa amazwi anomusa angakwenza ujabule.” (IzAga 12:25, Today’s English Version) Ukukhuluma nothile ngemizwa yakho kungakubeka esimweni sokuba uzwe amazwi owadingayo aduduzayo futhi anomusa.—IzAga 25:11.
Ubani okufanele ukhulume naye? Kungaba kuhle ukukhetha othile omdala kunawe onokuhlakanipha, ovuthiwe futhi onesihawu. AmaKristu angazuza kubadala bebandla, abafana ‘nendawo yokucashela umoya nendawo yokucashela isiphepho esinemvula, njengemifudlana yamanzi ezweni elingenamanzi, njengomthunzi wedwala elikhulu ezweni eliwugwadule.’—Isaya 32:2.
Yiqiniso, ungase wesabe ukutshela umuntu imfihlo yakho. Ungase uzizwe ngendlela uSara azizwa ngayo. Uyavuma: “Ekuqaleni, ngakuthola kunzima ukwethemba othile. Ngangikholelwa ukuthi lapho abantu sebengazi—sebengazi ngempela—babeyongibalekela futhi bangenyanye.” Nokho, ngokutshela othile imizwa yakhe, uSara waliqonda kangcono iqiniso lalokho okushiwo iBhayibheli encwadini yezAga 18:24: “Kukhona umngane onamathela ngaphezu komfowenu.” Uthi: “AmaKristu avuthiwe engaxoxa nawo awazange angithethise, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ngangiwatshelani ngomkhuba wami wokuzilimaza. Kunalokho, anginikeza amacebiso asebenzayo. Axoxa nami ngemiBhalo, angiqinisekisa ngesineke lapho ngidangele futhi ngizizwa ngingelutho.”
Kungani ungaxoxi nothile ngenkinga yakho yokuzilimaza? Uma ubona ukuthi ngeke ukwazi ukuxoxa nothile nibhekene ubuso nobuso, zama ukuxhumana naye ngokubhala noma ngocingo. Ukutshela othile ngemizwa yakho kungaba isinyathelo esihle esiya ekululameni. UJennifer uthi: “Into ebaluleke kakhulu kwakuwukwazi ukuthi othile uyangikhathalela, nokuthi kukhona othile engingaxoxa naye lapho ngizizwa ngicindezelekile.”c
Ukubaluleka Komthandazo
UDonna wayesefinyelele kwangqingetshe. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, wayenomuzwa wokuthi udinga usizo lukaNkulunkulu. Kolunye uhlangothi, wayecabanga ukuthi uNkulunkulu wayengeke amsekele uma engakayeki ukuzilimaza. Yini eyasiza uDonna? Okunye okwamsiza ukuzindla ngeyoku-1 IziKronike 29:17, ebiza uJehova uNkulunkulu ngokuthi “ungumhloli wenhliziyo.” “UJehova wayazi ukuthi ngaphakathi enhliziyweni yami ngangifuna ukuyeka ukuzilimaza,” kusho uDonna. “Ngemva kokuba sengiqale ukuthandaza kuye ngicela usizo, ngamangala. Kancane kancane, ngaya ngokuya ngiqina.”
Umhubi uDavide, owayekujwayele ukuhlupheka, wabhala: “Phonsa umthwalo wakho phezu kukaJehova, yena uyokusekela.” (IHubo 55:22) Yebo, uJehova uyakwazi ukuhlupheka kwakho. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ‘uyakukhathalela.’ (1 Petru 5:7) Uma inhliziyo yakho ikulahla, khumbula ukuthi uNkulunkulu ‘mkhulu kunenhliziyo yakho, futhi wazi zonke izinto.’ Yebo, uqonda kahle ukuthi kungani uzilimaza nokuthi kungani ukuthola kunzima ukukuyeka. (1 Johane 3:19, 20) Uma uya kuye ngomthandazo futhi uzame ngayo yonke inhliziyo yakho ukunqoba lo mkhuba, ‘impela uyokusiza.’—Isaya 41:10.
Nokho, kuthiwani uma ubuyela kulo mkhuba? Ingabe lokho kusho ukuthi usuhluleke ngokuphelele? Lutho neze! IzAga 24:16 zithi: “Olungile angawa ngisho nakasikhombisa, kodwa ngokuqinisekile uyovuka.” Ecabanga ngaleli vesi leBhayibheli, uDonna uthi, “Ngawa izikhathi ezingaphezu kweziyisikhombisa, kodwa angizange ngililahle ithemba.” UDonna wathola ukuthi ukuphikelela kubalulekile. NoKaren wakuthola kunjalo. Uthi: “Ngafunda ukubheka ukubuyela ekuzilimazeni njengokuphazamiseka kwesikhashana, hhayi njengokwehluleka, ngafunda nokuqala kabusha ngaso sonke isikhathi lapho kudingeka.”
Lapho Kudingeka Usizo Olwengeziwe
UJesu wabona ukuthi ‘abagulayo bayamdinga udokotela.’ (Marku 2:17) Ezimweni eziningi kuyadingeka ukubonana nochwepheshe wezokwelapha ukuze athole ukuthi lo mkhuba awubangelwa yini ukuphazamiseka okuthile abese esikisela indlela yokukwelapha.d UJennifer wakhetha ukufuna usizo olunjalo, olwenezela kulolo ayeluthola kubadala abangamaKristu abanothando. Uthi: “Abadala ababona odokotela, kodwa baye bangisekela ngempela. Nakuba ngezinye izikhathi isifiso sokuzilimaza sike sibuye, ngiye ngaphumelela ekusilawuleni ngosizo lukaJehova, ibandla nangezindlela engiye ngazifunda zokubhekana nalo mkhuba.”e
Qiniseka ngokuthi ungawunqoba lo mkhuba ngezindlela ezisebenzayo ezinemiphumela emihle. Thandaza njengoba kwenza umhubi: “Misa izinyathelo zami ziqine ezwini lakho, kwangathi kungeze kwabusa phezu kwami noma yiluphi uhlobo lwento elimazayo.” (IHubo 119:133) Ngokuqinisekile, uyokwaneliseka futhi uzihloniphe lapho usukwazi ukulawula lo mkhuba ngokuphumelelayo ukuze ungaphinde ukubuse.
[Imibhalo yaphansi]
a Amanye amagama kulesi sihloko ashintshiwe.
b Ukuze uthole imininingwane eyengeziwe ngokuzilimaza—ukuthi kuhlanganisani nokuthi kubangelwa yini—bheka isihloko se-Phaphama! ka-January 2006 esithi “Intsha Iyabuza . . . Kungani Ngizilimaza?”
c Ungase uzame ukuveza imizwa yakho ngokuyibhala phansi ngezinye izikhathi. Ababhali bamahubo eBhayibheli kwakungamadoda ayenemizwelo enamandla ayesebenzisa amazwi ukuze aveze ukuzisola, intukuthelo, ukucindezeleka nokudumazeka. Ngokwesibonelo, ungase uthande ukubukeza iHubo 6, 13, 42, 55, no-69.
d Ngezinye izikhathi ukuzilimaza kuyimiphumela yesinye isifo, njengokucindezeleka, ukuba nemizwelo eguquguqukayo, izenzo ezingalawuleki, noma inkinga yokuphazamiseka kwemikhuba yokudla. I-Phaphama! ayisikiseli indlela ethile yokwelashwa. AmaKristu kufanele aqiniseke ukuthi ukwelashwa akusebenzisayo akungqubuzani nezimiso zeBhayibheli.
e Esikhathini esidlule kuye kwaba nezihloko ze-Phaphama! ezikhuluma ngezinto ezicasha ngokuzilimaza. Ngokwesibonelo, bheka uchungechunge olunezihloko ezithi “Ukuqonda Ukuguquguquka Kwemizwelo” (January 8, 2004), “Usizo Entsheni Ecindezelekile” (September 8, 2001), nesithi “Yini Ebangela Ukuphazamiseka Kwemikhuba Yokudla?” (January 22, 1999), kuhlanganise nesihloko esithi “Intsha Iyabuza. . . Ukuba Nomzali Ongumlutha—Ngingabhekana Kanjani Nakho?” (August 8, 1992).
OKUFANELE UKUCABANGE
◼ Yiziphi ezinye izindlela ongazisebenzisa kunokuzilimaza lapho ucindezelekile?
◼ Ubani ongamtshela ngemizwa yakho uma unenkinga yokuzilimaza?
[Ibhokisi/Isithombe ekhasini 20]
UKUSIZA OZILIMAZAYO
Ungalisiza kanjani ilungu lomkhaya noma umngane onenkinga yokuzilimaza? Njengoba onale nkinga engase adinge umuntu angakhuluma naye ngemizwa yakhe, ungaba isilaleli esihle. Zama ukuba “umngane weqiniso . . . ozalelwe isikhathi sosizi.” (IzAga 17:17) Kuyiqiniso, ungase wethuke ekuqaleni futhi ufune ukuba ukuzilimaza kuphele ngokushesha. Kodwa lokhu kungenza onale nkinga azehlukanise nawe. Ngaphezu kwalokho, kunokwengeziwe okudingekayo ngaphandle nje kokumtshela ukuba ayeke ukuzilimaza. Kuyodingeka ukuqonda ukuze usize umuntu ozilimazayo afunde izindlela ezintsha zokubhekana nezinkinga. (IzAga 16:23) Futhi kuyothatha nesikhathi. Ngakho yiba nesineke. ‘Shesha ukuzwa uphuze ukukhuluma.’—Jakobe 1:19.
Uma usemncane, ungacabangi ukuthi ungakwazi ukusiza ozilimazayo uwedwa. Khumbula, kungase kube khona inkinga efihlekile noma ukugula ngengqondo okudinga ukwelashwa. Futhi, ukuzilimaza kungasongela ukuphila—ngisho noma ozilimazayo engahlosile ukuzibulala. Ngakho-ke, kungaba ukuhlakanipha ukuncenga ozilimazayo ukuba adlulisele inkinga yakhe kumuntu omdala osevuthiwe futhi okhathalelayo.
[Izithombe ekhasini 19]
Ungakuthathi kancane ukubaluleka kokukhuluma nothile onothando ngemizwa yakho nokubaluleka komthandazo