Chitetezo m’Nyumba

Monique anali ndi zaka zisanu ndi zinayi pamene mwamunayo anayamba kumgona. Anayamba mwakumamsuzumira mseri pamene anali kuvula zovala; ndiyeno anayamba kumloŵera m’chipinda usiku ndi kumagwira ziŵalo zake zamtseri. Pamene mtsikanayo anamkanira, mwamunayo anakwiya. Panthaŵi ina anammenya ndi nyundo namgwetsa pamakwerero. “Palibe amene anandikhulupirira,” Monique akukumbukira motero—osati ngakhale amayi ake. Yemwe anali kugona Monique anali atate ake omlera.

SIMLENDO, kapena munthu wokonda kukhala yekha womabisala m’zitsamba, amene ali chiwopsezo chachikulu kwa ana. Ndichiŵalo cha banja. Nkhanza zogona ana zochuluka zimachitikira m’nyumba. Chotero kodi ndimotani mmene nyumba ingatetezedwere ku nkhanza imeneyi?

M’buku lake la Slaughter of the Innocents, wolemba mbiri Dr. Sander J. Breiner anapenda umboni wa nkhanza yogona ana m’maiko amakedzana asanu—Igupto, China, Girisi, Roma, ndi Israyeli. Iye akunena kuti pamene kuli kwakuti nkhanza yogona ana inalimo m’Israyeli, inali yocheperapo poyerekezera ndi maiko ena anayiwo. Chifukwa ninji? Mosiyana ndi maiko apafupi nawo, anthu a m’Israyeli anaphunzitsidwa kulemekeza akazi ndi ana—lingaliro lounikiridwa limene anachotsa m’Malemba Opatulika. Pamene Aisrayeli anagwiritsira ntchito lamulo laumulungu m’moyo wabanja, analetsa nkhanza yogona ana. Lerolino mabanja afunikira miyezo yogwira ntchito, yoyera imeneyi kuposa ndi kale lonse.

Malamulo Amkhalidwe

Kodi lamulo la Baibulo limayambukira banja lanu? Mwachitsanzo, pa Levitiko 18:6 pamati: “Asasendere mmodzi wa inu kwa mbale wake kumvula; ine ndine Yehova.” Mofananamo mpingo Wachikristu lerolino uli ndi malamulo okhwima otsutsa mtundu uliwonse wa nkhanza yogona ena. Aliyense amene amachita nkhanza mwakugona mwana akhoza kuchotsedwa, kutulutsidwa mumpingo.a—1 Akorinto 6:9, 10.

Mabanja onse ayenera kudziŵa ndi kupenda malamulo otero pamodzi. Lemba la Deuteronomo 6:6, 7 limati: “Ndipo mawu awa ndikuuzani lero, azikhala pamtima panu; ndipo muziwaphunzitsa mwachangu kwa ana anu, ndi kuwalankhula awa pokhala inu pansi m’nyumba zanu, ndi poyenda inu panjira, ndi pogona pansi, ndi pouka inu.” Kukhomereza malamulo ameneŵa kumatanthauza zoposa kuphunzitsa ana anu mwa apa ndi apo. Kumaloŵetsamo kukambitsirana kwanthaŵi zonse. Nthaŵi ndi nthaŵi, onse aŵiri amayi ndi atate ayenera kusonyeza chichilikizo chawo cha malamulo a Mulungu oletsa kugonana kwa pachibale ndi zolinga zachikondi za malamulo ameneŵa.

Mungagwiritsirenso nkhani monga ya Tamara ndi Amnoni, ana a Davide, kusonyeza ana kuti m’zakugonana muli malire amene palibe aliyense—ngakhale achibale omwe—ayenera kuwadutsa.—Genesis 9:20-29; 2 Samueli 13:10-16.

Kulemekeza malamulo a mkhalidwe ameneŵa kungasonyezedwenso m’makonzedwe a kakhalidwe ka panyumba. M’dziko lina Kummaŵa, kufufuza kwasonyeza kuti kugonana kwa pachibale kumachitika kwambiri m’mabanja mmene ana amagona chipinda chimodzi ndi makolo ngakhale pamene kulibe mavuto azachuma ofunikiritsa zimenezi. Mofananamo, nthaŵi zambiri sikwanzeru kulola ana aamuna ndi aakazi kugona pakama mmodzi kapena m’chipinda chimodzi pamene akukula, ngati zimenezi zili zopeŵeka. Ngakhale pamene pali malo okhala ochepa, makolo ayenera kugwiritsira ntchito luntha posankha kumene chiŵalo chilichonse cha banja chidzagona.

Lamulo la Baibulo limaletsa uchidakwa, kusonyeza kuti ungachititse khalidwe loluluzika. (Miyambo 23:29-33) Malinga nkufufuza kwina, pafupifupi 60 mpaka 70 peresenti ya ogonedwa ndi achibale anasimba kuti makolo awo anali kumwa pamene kugonedwako kunayamba.

Mutu wa Banja Wachikondi

Ofufuza apeza kuti kugona ana kuli kofala kwambiri m’mabanja okhala ndi amuna otsendereza. Lingaliro lofala lakuti akazi alipo kuti angokhutiritsa zilakolako za amuna siliri la m’Malemba. Amuna ena amagwiritsira ntchito lingaliro losakhala Lachikristu limeneli kulungamitsira kutembenukira kwawo kwa mwana wamkazi kuti apeze zilizonse zimene sangapeze kwa mkazi wawo. Mtundu umenewu wa chitsenderezo ungachititse akazi amene ali m’mikhalidwe imeneyi kusokonezeka maganizo. Ambiri amataya ngakhale chikhumbo chachibadwa cha kutetezera ana awo. (Yerekezerani ndi Mlaliki 7:7.) Komabe, kufufuza kwina kunapeza kuti pamene atate omwerekera ndi ntchito sapezeka kwambiri panyumba, nthaŵi zina kugonana kwa mwana wamwamuna ndi amayi ake kwachitika.

Bwanji za banja lanu? Kodi inu monga mwamuna mumaitenga mosamala mbali yanu ya umutu, kapena kodi mumaitulira mkazi wanu? (1 Akorinto 11:3) Kodi mumachita ndi mkazi wanu mwachikondi, momlemekeza, ndi mwaulemu? (Aefeso 5:25; 1 Petro 3:7) Kodi mumaona malingaliro ake kukhala ofunika? (Genesis 21:12; Miyambo 31:26, 28) Ndipo bwanji za ana anu? Kodi mumawaona kukhala amtengo wapatali? (Salmo 127:3) Kapena kodi mumawaona monga mtolo wamba, owagwiritsira ntchito mosavuta mwanjira yosayenera? (Yerekezerani ndi 2 Akorinto 12:14.) Chotsani malingaliro opotoka, osakhala a m’malemba a mbali za banja m’nyumba mwanu, ndipo mudzaitetezera kwambiri kunkhanza yogona ana.

Malo Otetezereka Mwamalingaliro

Mtsikana wina amene tidzamutcha Sandi anati: “Banja langa lonse linali ndi mkhalidwe woyenerera nkhanza yogona ana. Munalibe kuyanjana, ndipo chiŵalo chilichonse cha banja chinali chopatukana ndi chinzake.” Kudzipatula, liuma, ndi kubisirana nkhani kopambanitsa—mikhalidwe yoipa yosakhala ya m’malemba imeneyi, ili zizindikiro za m’banja mmene mumachitika nkhanzayi. (Yerekezerani ndi 2 Samueli 12:12; Miyambo 18:1; Afilipi 4:5.) Chititsani mkhalidwe wa panyumba kukhala wotetezereka mwamalingaliro kwa ana. Panyumba payenera kukhala malo kumene iwo amalimbikitsidwa, kumene amakhala aufulu kutulutsa zili kumtima kwawo ndi kulankhula mwaufulu.

Ndiponso, ana amafunikira kwambiri kusonyezedwa chikondi mwanjira yakuthupi—kufungata, kukhudza, kugwirana manja, kuseŵera. Musachite mopambanitsa m’kusamalira maupandu a nkhanza yogona ana mwakusasonyeza chikondi mwanjira zimenezi. Phunzitsani ana mwakuwasonyeza chikondi chachikulu poyera ndi kuwauza kuti ali amtengo wapatali. Sandi akukumbukira kuti: “Lingaliro la amayi linali lakuti kuyamikira aliyense pakanthu kalikonse kunali kulakwa. Kungachititse munthuwe kunyada.” Sandi anavutika kwa zaka khumi akugonedwa popanda kunena kanthu kalikonse. Ana amene sali otetezereka podziŵa kuti samakondedwa, kuti sali anthu ofunika angakhale osavuta kunyengedwa ndi chitamando cha wogona ana, “chikondi” chake, kapena chiwopsezo chake cha kusiya kutero.

Wokonda kugona ana wina amene anagona anyamata mazana ambiri m’nyengo ya zaka 40 anavomereza kuti anyamata amene anasoŵa chikondi cha bwenzi longa iye anali ogonana nawo “abwino koposa.” Musachititse kusoŵa kotero mwa mwana wanu.

Thetsani Mchitidwe Wosalekeza wa Kugona Ana

Poyesedwa kwambiri Yobu anati: “Mtima wanga ulema nawo moyo wanga, ndidzadzilolera kudandaula kwanga, ndidzalankhula pakuŵaŵa mtima kwanga.” (Yobu 10:1) Mofananamo, makolo ambiri apeza kuti akhoza kuthandiza ana awo mwakudzithandiza iwo eni. The Harvard Mental Health Letter posachedwapa inanena kuti: “Miyambo yolimba ya anthu yoletsa amuna kulankhula za kuvutika kwawo mwachionekere imapititsa patsogolo mchitidwe wosalekeza wa kugona ana.” Kukuoneka kuti amuna amene samasimba konse za vuto lawo lakuti anagonedwapo ngothekera kwambiri kukhala ogona ana iwo eniwo. The Safe Child Book likunena kuti ogona ana ambiri anagonedwapo iwo eniwo pamene anali ana koma sanapeze chithandizo kuti achire. Iwo amasonyeza kupwetekedwa kwawo ndi mkwiyo wawo mwakugona ana ena.b—Onaninso Yobu 7:11; 32:20.

Upandu kwa ana ungakhalenso waukulu pamene amayi sadziŵa kuchita ndi kugonedwa kwawo kwapapitapo. Mwachitsanzo, ofufuza akunena kuti akazi amene anagonedwapo pamene anali atsikana kaŵirikaŵiri amakwatiwa kwa amuna amene amagona ana. Ndiponso, ngati mkazi sanadziŵe mochitira ndi kugonedwa kwake kwapapitapo, mwachionekere angakuone kukhala kovuta kukambitsirana ndi ana ake nkhanza yakugonedwa. Ngati nkhanza yogona mwana yachitika, angakhale wosakhoza kwambiri kuizindikira ndi kuchitapo kanthu moyenera. Pamenepo ana amavutika kwambiri kaamba ka kusachitapo kanthu kwa amayi.

Chotero, nkhanza yogona ana ingapitirize kuchokera kumbadwo umodzi kumka ku wina. Ndithudi, anthu ambiri amene amasankha kusasimba za chochitika chosautsa chapapitapocho angaoneke kukhala akuchita bwino lomwe m’moyo, ndipo zimenezo nzoyamikirika. Koma kwa ambiri ululuwo ngwaukulu kwambiri, ndipo afunikiradi kuyesayesa kwamphamvu—kuphatikizapo, ngati nkofunikira, kufunafuna chithandizo cha akatswiri—kuti athetse kusweka mtima kowopsako kwapaubwana. Cholinga chawo sichakuti adzidzichitira chifundo. Amafuna kuthetsa mchitidwe wosalekeza wonyansa umenewu, wa nkhanza yogona ana umene uli m’banja mwawo.—Onani Galamukani! wa October 8, 1991, pamasamba 3 mpaka 11.

Mapeto a Nkhanza Yogona Ana

Chitagwiritsiridwa ntchito moyenera, chidziŵitso chimene changofotokozedwa chingathandize kwambiri kuchepetsa kuthekera kwa nkhanza yogona ana m’banja mwanu. Komabe, kumbukirani kuti ogona ana amachitira zinthu mseri, amadyerera pachidaliro cha wina mwa iwo, ndipo amagwiritsira ntchito machenjera auchikulire pa ana osadziŵa kanthu. Pamenepa, mosakayikira, ena a iwo aoneka kuti amapeŵa chilango cha maupandu awo onyansa.

Komabe, dziŵanitu kuti Mulungu amaona zimene iwo amachita. (Yobu 34:22) Ngati salapa ndi kusintha, iye sadzaiŵala machitachita awo onyansa. Iye adzawavumbula poyera panthaŵi yake yoyenera. (Yerekezerani ndi Mateyu 10:26.) Ndipo adzapereka chiweruzo. Yehova Mulungu walonjeza nthaŵi pamene anthu onse onyenga otero ‘adzazulidwa m’dziko,’ ndipo ofatsa ndi odekha amene amakonda Mulungu ndi anthu anzawo ndiwo okha amene adzaloledwa kutsalamo. (Miyambo 2:22; Salmo 37:10, 11, 29; 2 Petro 2:9-12) Tili ndi chiyembekezo chabwino kwambiri chimenecho cha dziko latsopano chifukwa cha nsembe yadipo ya Yesu Kristu. (1 Timoteo 2:6) Ndipanthaŵi yomweyo pokha pamene nkhanza yogona ana idzatha kotheratu.

Pakali pano tiyenera kuchita zomwe tingathe kutetezera ana athu. Iwo ngamtengo wapatali! Makolo ambiri mosazengereza amaika moyo wawo paupandu kuti atetezere ana awo aang’ono. (Yerekezerani ndi Yohane 15:13.) Ngati sititetezera ana athu, zotulukapo zingakhale zoipa. Ngati titero, timawapatsa mphatso yabwino koposa—ubwana wopanda liŵongo ndi wopanda masoka. Akhoza kudzimva monga mmene wamasalmo anadzimvera, amene analemba kuti: “Ndidzati kwa Yehova, Pothaŵirapo panga ndi linga langa, Mulungu wanga, amene ndimkhulupirira.”—Salmo 91:2.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Bokosi patsamba 11]

Amene anali kugonedwa ndi wachibale wake kwa zaka zambiri anati: “Kugona ana kumapha ana, kumapha chidaliro chawo, kuyenera kwawo kwa kukhala opanda liŵongo. Nchifukwa chake ana ayenera kutetezeredwa. Chifukwa tsopano ndiyenera kuumbanso moyo wanga wonse. Kodi nkuikiranji ana ochuluka m’vuto loterolo?”

Ndithudi nkuwavutitsiranji motero?

[Bokosi patsamba 11]

Mvetserani kwa Ana!

KU BRITISH COLUMBIA, ku Canada, kufufuza kwaposachedwapa kunapenda ntchito za anthu 30 ogona ana. Zopezedwa zinali zochititsa kakasi. Anthu okwanira 30 amenewo, onse pamodzi, anagona ana 2,099. Okwanira theka mwa iwo anali ndi ntchito zathayo—aphunzitsi, atsogoleri achipembedzo, oyang’anira ntchito, ndi osamalira ana. Mwamuna wina wogona ana, dokotala wa mano wazaka 50, anagona ana pafupifupi 500 m’nyengo ya zaka 26.

Komabe, The Globe and Mail ya ku Toronto inati: “M’zochitika zokwanira 80 peresenti, mmodzi kapena ambiri m’chitaganya (kuphatikizapo mabwenzi kapena ogwirizana ndi wopalamulayo, mabanja a ogonedwa, ana ena, ogonedwa ena) anakana kapena anapeputsa nkhanza yogona ana.” Mosadabwitsa, “lipotilo likunena kuti kukana ndi kusakhulupirira kumalola nkhanza yogona ana kupitiriza.”

Ogonedwa ena anauza ena za owagona. Komabe, “makolo a ana aang’ono ogonedwa sanafune kukhulupirira zimene ana awo anali kuwauza,” The Globe and Mail ikuti ndimmene lipotilo linanenera. Mofananamo, nduna ina ya boma ku Germany posachedwapa inasimba za lipoti lina lakuti ana amene amagonedwa amafikira makolo kuwauza nkhani yawo kwanthaŵi zisanu ndi ziŵiri asanawakhulupirire.

[Bokosi patsamba 12]

“Funani Chithandizo Tsopano”

“NGATI ndinu mwamuna ndipo mumagona ana, mungakhale mukumadziuza kuti, ‘Iye amakonda zimenezo,’ kapena kuti ‘Anangofuna yekha,’ kapena kuti ‘Ndikumuphunzitsa za kugonana.’ Mukudzinyengeza. Amuna enieni samagona ana. Ngati muliko ndi chifundo pamwanayo, siyani zimenezo. Funani chithandizo tsopano.”—Chilengezo choperekedwa cha utumiki wa onse, chogwidwa m’buku la By Silence Betrayed.

[Chithunzi patsamba 13]

Ana amafunikira chisamaliro chachikulu chachikondi