Kupatsa Ana Zimene Amafunikira

MONGA mmene taonera, ana aang’ono amafunika chisamaliro chachikulu, koma zikuoneka kuti ambiri sachitiridwa zimene amafunikirazo. Zochita za achinyamata masiku ano zikusonyeza choncho. “Kale lonse achinyamata athu sanakhalepo motalikirana ndi anthu akwawo chonchi, kukhala osadziŵa zintchito ndiponso osachita zinthu zanzeru chonchi,” anadandaula motero munthu wina wochita kafukufuku yemwe mawu ake ali mu nyuzipepala yotchedwa Globe and Mail, ya mu mzinda wa Toronto, ku Canada.

Kodi chalakwika n’chiyani? Kodi zingatheke kuti mwina china chimene chikuchititsa zimenezi n’kulephera kuzindikira kufunika kwa kulabadira zofuna za ana adakali aang’ono? “Tonsefe timafunikira kuphunzira kukhala kholo,” anafotokoza motero katswiri wina wa zamaganizo yemwe amathandiza azimayi amene amapeza ndalama zochepa kuti azitha kusamalira ana awo akhanda. “Ndipo makolofe tiyenera kuzindikira kuti m’tsogolo mwake tidzaona ubwino wochuluka wa nthaŵi imene timakhala ndi ana athu panopa.”

Makanda nawonso amafunika kuwalangiza nthaŵi ndi nthaŵi. Osangoti kwa mphindi zochepa mwa apa ndi apo ayi, koma nthaŵi zonse, inde tsiku lonse lathunthu. Nthaŵi imene timakhala ndi ana athu kuyambira adakali aang’ono ndi yofunika kwambiri kuti akule bwino.

M’pofunika Kukonzekera

Kuti makolo akwaniritse udindo wawo wovutawu, afunika kukonzekera kubadwa kwa mwana wawo. Akhoza kuphunzirapo kanthu pa mfundo imene Yesu Kristu anatchula yokhudza kukonzekeratu zimene mukufuna kudzachita. Iye anati: “Ndani wa inu amene akafuna kumanga nsanja yaitali, sathanga wakhala pansi, naŵerengera mtengo wake?” (Luka 14:28) Kulera mwana, komwe nthaŵi zambiri amati ndi ntchito yotenga zaka 20, ndi ntchito yovuta kwambiri poyerekeza ndi kumanga nsanja. Ndiye kulera mwana bwinobwino kumafunika kukonzekeratu zimene mudzachite, ngatidi mmene munthu wodziŵa zomangamanga angafunikire kukhala ndi pulani ya chinthu chimene akufuna kumangacho.

Pofuna kusenza udindo wokhala kholo, choyamba ndi bwino kukhala wokonzeka m’maganizo ndiponso kumbali yauzimu. Ku Germany atachita kafukufuku pakati pa azimayi 2,000 oyembekezera, zimene anapeza n’zakuti ana a azimayi omwe ankalakalaka kubereka anali athanzi, m’maganizo ngakhalenso thupi lawo, kusiyana ndi ana a azimayi omwe sankafuna n’komwe kuberekako. Komanso, wofufuza wina ananena kuti m’posavuta kwambiri kuti mayi amene m’banja mwake amangokhalira kuchitiridwa nkhanza abereke mwana wosokonezeka maganizo kapena wopunduka kusiyana ndi mayi amene amakhala mwamtendere m’banja mwake.

Ndiye apa n’zoonekeratu kuti zimene azibambo amachita zingathandize kuti mwana akule bwino kapena ayi. Dr. Thomas Verny anati: “Ndi zinthu zochepa zimene zingawononge kwambiri maganizo ndi thupi la mwana wakhanda kuposa mmene angachitire bambo yemwe amazunza kapena kunyalanyaza mkazi wake woyembekezera.” Ndithudi, anthu ambiri akhala akunena kuti mphatso yapamwamba kwambiri imene mwana angapeze si ina ayi, koma bambo yemwe amakonda amayi ake.

Timadzi tam’thupi timene timapangitsa munthu kukhala ndi nkhaŵa ndi kusautsika maganizo, tomwe timagwera m’magazi a mayi tikhoza kukafikanso kwa mwana yemwe ali m’mimba mwake n’kumuwononga. Komabe umboni umasonyeza kuti zimakhala zoopsa kwa mwanayo pokhapokha mayiyo akamakhala ndi nkhaŵa kwa nthaŵi yaitali, osati akangokwiya pang’ono kapena kukumana ndi zosautsa pang’ono ayi. Zimaoneka kuti chachikulu ndi mmene mayi woyembekezerayo akuganizira za mwana yemwe ali m’mimba mwake.a

Bwanji ngati muli woyembekezera koma mwamuna wanu sakuthandizani zina ndi zina kapenanso inu amene simukufuna kukhala ndi mwana? Si zachilendo kuti zochitika zina zikhoza kum’pangitsa mkazi kuvutika ndi maganizo chifukwa cha mimba yake. Koma, osaiwala nthaŵi zonse kuti mwana wanu yemwe ali m’mimba sanalakwe chilichonse. Ndiye pamenepa, kodi mungachite bwanji kuti mukhalebe ndi maganizo abwino ngakhale patakhala zovuta zina?

Malangizo anzeru amene ali m’Baibulo, lomwe ndi Mawu a Mulungu, akhala akuthandiza anthu ambirimbiri. Baibulolo limati: “M’zonse ndi pemphero, ndi pembedzero, pamodzi ndi chiyamiko, zopempha zanu zidziŵike kwa Mulungu. Ndipo mtendere wa Mulungu wakupambana chidziŵitso chonse, udzasunga mitima yanu ndi maganizo anu mwa Kristu Yesu.” Mungadabwe nazo kuona mmene kumvera zimene mawuŵa akunena kungakuthandizireni kutsatira mfundo iyi yakuti: “Musadere nkhaŵa konse.” (Afilipi 4:6, 7) Mukhoza kuona kuti Mlengi, wodziŵa kusamalira anthu, ali nanu ndithu.—1 Petro 5:7.

Si Zachilendo

Akazi ena akabereka ali aang’ono amati pakatha masabata ochepa chiberekereni, amakhala osasangalala n’komwe ndiponso opandiratu mphamvu. Ngakhale azimayi oti amafunitsitsa kukhala ndi mwana amatha kungosintha n’kukhala ndwii. Kusinthasintha kotereku si kwachilendo. Kumachitika chifukwa chakuti azimayi akabereka, timadzi tawo tam’thupi tija timasinthasintha kwambiri. Si zachilendonso kuti mayi woyamba kumene kubereka atope kwambiri chifukwa cha zintchito zokhudza mayi, monga kudyetsa mwana, kumusintha mateŵera, ndiponso kusamalira zofuna za mwanayo, yemwe amangovuta panthaŵi iliyonse imene angafune chinthu.

Mayi wina ankaona ngati mwana wake ankangolira kuti amuvutitse basi. N’zosadabwitsa kuti katswiri wina wa za kaleredwe ka ana ku Japan anati: “Palibe munthu yemwe sasautsika maganizo chifukwa cha kulera mwana.” Katswiriyu ananenanso kuti, “chinthu chofunika kwambiri n’chakuti mayi asadzipatule n’kumakhala yekhayekha.”

Ngakhale nthaŵi zina mayi atamavutika maganizo, akhoza kuteteza mwana wake kuti zimenezo zisamukhudze. Magazini ya Time inafotokoza kuti: “Azimayi ovutika maganizo amene anatha kulimbana ndi vuto lawolo n’kuyamba kusamalira kwambiri ana awo ndiponso kusewera nawo, ana awo anali a mitu yogwira zinthu kwambiri.”b

Mmene Bambo Angathandizire

Nthaŵi zambiri bambo wa mwana wakhandayo ndiye amakhala munthu woyenera kwambiri kuthandizapo. Mwanayo akamalira usiku, nthaŵi zambiri bamboyo angadzuke kuti asamaliremwanayo kuchitira kuti mkazi wake agone mokwanira. Baibulo limati: “Amuna inu, khalani [ndi akazi anu] monga mwa chidziwitso,” kapena kuti mowaganizira.—1 Petro 3:7.

Yesu Kristu anapereka chitsanzo chabwino kwambiri choti amuna okwatira atsanzire. Analolera kupereka ngakhale moyo wake weniweniwo m’malo mwa ophunzira ake. (Aefeso 5:28-30; 1 Petro 2:21-24) Choncho amuna okwatira amene amalolera kuvutika pofuna kuti asamalire mwana wawo amatsanzira Kristu. Ndithudi, kulera ana ndi ntchito yothandizana, yofunika kuti makolo onse aŵiri aziichita mogwirizana.

Ntchito Yofunika Kuthandizana

“Ine ndi mkazi wanga tinakambirana bwinobwino mmene tilerere mwana wathu,” anatero Yoichiro, yemwe ndi bambo wa kamtsikana ka zaka ziŵiri. Anatinso: “Timati nthaŵi iliyonse pakabuka nkhani inayake, timakambirana mmene tichitire.” Yoichiro amadziŵa kuti mkazi wake amafunika kupuma mokwanira, ndipo nthaŵi zambiri Yoichiroyo akafuna kupita kumsika kapena kusitolo amapita ndi mwana wakeyo.

Kalelo pamene anthu ambiri ankabereka ana ambiri ndiponso chibale chidakali champhamvu kwambiri, makolo ankathandizidwa ndi ana osinkhukirapo kusamalira ana aang’ono. Ndiye si zodabwitsa kuti munthu wina wogwira ntchito m’bungwe losamalira ana la Child-Rearing Support Center ku Kawasaki, m’dziko la Japan, ananenapo kuti: “Kaŵirikaŵiri, azimayi amapepukidwa akamakambirana mavuto awoŵa ndi anthu ena. Pothandizidwa pang’ono chabe, azimayi ambiri akhala akupirira bwinobwino zovuta.”

Magazini yotchedwa Parents imati makolo “amafunika kukhala ndi anthu ochuluka oti azikambirana nawo nkhaŵa zawo.” Kodi anthu otereŵa angapezeke kuti? Azimayi ndi azibambo ongoyamba kumene kubereka angapindule ndithu pokhala anthu omasuka maganizo ndiponso pomvetsera zonena za makolo awo kapena azipongozi awo. Komatu azigogowo ayenera kudziŵa kuti pamapeto pake banja latsopanolo ndi limene liyenera kusankha zoti lichite.c

Anthu enanso omwe makolo achinyamata angadalire kwambiri ndi anzawo opembedza nawo. Mu mpingo wa Mboni za Yehova kwanuko, mukhoza kupeza anthu amene anakhala zaka zambiri akulera ana ndipo ndi ofunitsitsa kumva zovuta zimene mukukumana nazo. Akhoza kukuuzani mfundo zokuthandizani. Kaŵirikaŵiri, mungapemphe thandizo kwa akazi amene akudziŵa zambiri pa kakhalidwe ka Chikristu, omwe Baibulo limawatchula kuti “akazi okalamba.” Iwoŵa ndi ofunitsitsa kuthandiza azimayi achitsikana.—Tito 2:3-5.

Koma ndithudi, makolo sayenera kungomvera maganizo aliwonsewo. “Mosayembekezera n’komwe, anthu onse amene amatidziŵa anangosanduka akatswiri a kaleredwe ka ana,” anatero Yoichiro. Mkazi wake, Takako, anavomereza kuti: “Poyamba, zimene anthu ena ankandiuza zinkandipweteketsa mutu, chifukwa ndinkangoona ngati anthuwo akundinena kuti sindikukwanitsa kuchita zinthu ngati kholo.” Komano, pophunzira zinthu kuchokera kwa ena, azibambo ndi azimayi ambiri omwe ali pabanja athandizidwa kuona zinthu mosanyanyira powapatsa ana awo zinthu zimene amafunikira.

Thandizo Loposa Lina Lililonse

Ngakhale mutafika poona ngati palibenso woti n’kukuthandizani, wina woti angakulimbikitseni alipo. Ameneyo ndi Yehova Mulungu, yemwe anatilenga ifeyo, yemwenso angathe kuona “ngakhale mluza” wa omwe amabadwa padziko lapansi, kapena kuti ana amene ali m’mimba mwa amayi awo. (Salmo 139:16) Yehova ananenapo kwa anthu ake akale zimene zinalembedwa m’Mawu ake, Baibulo kuti: “Kodi mkazi angaiwale mwana wake wa pabere, kuti iye sangachitire chifundo mwana wom’bala iye? Inde aŵa angaiwale, koma Ine sindingaiwale iwe.”—Yesaya 49:15; Salmo 27:10.

Kunena motsimikiza ndithu, Yehova saiwala makolo. Iye wawapatsa malangizo abwino m’Baibulo okhudza mmene angalerere ana. Mwachitsanzo, zaka pafupifupi 3,500 zapitazo, mneneri wa Mulungu Mose analemba kuti: “Muzikonda Yehova Mulungu wanu ndi mtima wanu wonse, ndi moyo wanu wonse, ndi mphamvu yanu yonse.” Kenaka Moseyo anati: “Mawu awa [kuphatikizapo malangizo oti akonde ndi kutumikira Yehova] ndikuuzani lero, azikhala pamtima panu; ndipo muziwaphunzitsa mwachangu kwa ana anu, ndi kuwalankhula awa pokhala pansi m’nyumba zanu, ndi poyenda inu panjira, ndi pogona inu pansi, ndi pouka inu.”—Deuteronomo 6:5-7.

Kodi mukuona kuti mfundo yake ya malangizo ameneŵa a m’Mawu a Mulungu yagona pati? Kodi si zoona kuti yagona pakuti muyenera kulangiza ana anu nthaŵi ndi nthaŵi, inde, tsiku lililonse mosadukiza? Kunena zoona, kungokonza zokhala ndi kanthaŵi kochepa kochita zinthu bwinobwino ndi ana anu mwa apa ndi apo si kokwanira. Popeza kuti kaŵirikaŵiri nthaŵi yabwino yokambirana zina ndi zina siikhala yochita kukonzekera, muyenera kuchita zinthu zoti ana anu azitha kukhala nanu nthaŵi ndi nthaŵi. Kuchita zimenezi kukuchititsani kuti mukwaniritse zimene Baibulo limalamula kuti: “Phunzitsa mwana poyamba njira yake.”—Miyambo 22:6.

Kuphunzitsa bwino ana kumaphatikizapo kuwaŵerengera mokweza. Baibulo limatiuza kuti Timoteo amene anali kuphunzira za Mulungu m’zaka 100 zoyambirira za nyengo yathu ino ‘anadziŵa malemba opatulika kuyambira ali wakhanda.’ Ndiye n’zoonekeratu kuti amayi ake, a Yunike, ndi agogo ake a Loisi, anali kumuŵerengera mokweza nthaŵi imene anali wakhanda. (2 Timoteo 1:5; 3:14, 15) Ndi bwino kuyamba kuchita zimenezi panthaŵi yomweyo imene mumayamba kuyankhulitsa mwana wanu wakhanda. Koma kodi mungamuŵerengere chiyani ndipo kodi ndi njira yotani imene ili yabwino kwambiri pophunzitsa mwana ngakhale atakhala wakhanda?

Mwana wanu azikumvani mukuŵerenga Baibulo. Zimaoneka kuti ndilo buku limene Timoteo anali kumuŵerengera. Aliponso mabuku amene amathandiza ana kuzoloŵera Baibulo chifukwa cha zithunzi zake zokongola. Kwenikweni mabukuŵa amathandiza mwana kuona m’maganizo ake zimene Baibulo likuphunzitsa. Mwachitsanzo, pali buku la Bukhu Langa la Nkhani za Baibulo ndi la Munthu Wamkulu Woposa Onse Amene Anakhalako. Pogwiritsira ntchito mabuku otereŵa, ana ambirimbiri athandizidwa kufika pomvetsa zimene Baibulo limaphunzitsa ndipo zakhazikika m’maganizo ndi mu mtima mwawo.

Mongadi mmene Baibulo limanenera, “ana ndiwo cholandira cha kwa Yehova; chipatso cha m’mimba ndicho mphotho yake.” (Salmo 127:3) Mlengi wanu wakudalirani pokupatsani “cholandira,” chomwe ndi mwana wakhanda wokondeka, yemwe munganyadire ndi kusangalala naye. Kulera ana, makamaka kuti adzakhale otamanda Mlengi wawo, ndithudi ndi ntchito yobweretsa mphoto!

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Chithunzi patsamba 24]

Mmene mayi amamvera mu mtima mwake akamaganiza za mwana yemwe ali m’mimba mwake zimakhudzanso mwanayo

[Chithunzi patsamba 25]

Ngakhale kuti mayi woyamba kumene kubereka angamaone kuti maganizo ake sakukhazikika pambuyo pobereka, pali zambiri zimene angachite kuti mwana wake aziona kuti ndi wokondeka ndiponso wotetezeka

[Chithunzi patsamba 26]

Nawonso azibambo ali ndi udindo wosamalira ana

[Chithunzi patsamba 26]

Muziyamba kuŵerengera mwana adakali wakhanda