“Ndinogona Sei Kurarama Nenhamo Yangu?”

NGWAVAIRA yakarovanya Bob naDiane Krych makore 18 akapfuura. Mwanakomana wavo wezera ramakore matanhatu, David, akanga ane chinetso chomwoyo chokuberekwa nacho. Diane anozivisa nhau yacho:

“Chiremba akanga apangira kuti ndinoita kuti kuongorora kuitwe mukati megore kana kuti kupfuura, uko isu takabvumira. David akanga ari mupenyu kwazvo, ari anenge akagwinya zvikuru. Ndinoyeuka kuti pakanga pari pana January 25, uye David akanga ave achinetsa hanzvadzi yake, achivhiringidza kamuri rake. Apo iye akakumbira kana iye aizobuda kunze kunotamba, ndakamurega achienda.

“Nguva yakati kuti gare gare ndakanzwa nhakura varwere, uye ipapo muvakidzani akauya achimhanya nomunzira, achidanidzira, ‘Diane, ndiDavid, ungatosva wauya hako!’ Ndakabuda, uye iye akanga akazvambarara pamberi pebhoneti remotokari yakanga yamurova. Handati ndaigona kutsuguduka. Ndakanzwa sokunge kuti ndakanga ndaoma mitezo. Vakaenda naye munhakura varwere. Asi kwose kwakanga kusina maturo. Mwoyo wake wakarega kushanda uye iye akanga afa.”

Mukai!: “Ko uku kurashikirwa kukurusa kwakakutapurai sei?”

Diane: “Ndakapinda nomunhevedzano yokuita kwakati kuti—kuomarara muviri, kusadavira, kuva nemhaka, uye kushatirirwa murume wangu nachiremba nokuda kwokusaziva kukomba kwakanga kwakaita mugariro wake. Ndakanga ndakatsamwira zvikuru David zuva iroro. Ndakanga ndine vashanyi vaiuya kuzodya uye mucheche wezera ramavhiki gumi wokutarisira. Zvakanga zvakanyanyokundiwandira chaizvo. Uye ipapo chinhu chakatevera chandaiziva, vakanga vachiendesa David wangu kuchipatara.

“Handati ndaizodavira kuti iye akanga afa. Handati ndaizogamuchira shoko rokuti ‘kufa, uye ‘rufu.’ Kana ndirini, iye akanga aenda parwendo. ‘Iye akanga ari mupenyu muyeuko yaMwari uye iye achadzoka,’ ndakafunga kudaro. ‘Naizvozvo anenge mavhiki manomwe pashure pokunge iye afa, ndakavamba kumunyorera matsamba. Ndakanyora tsamba idzodzo kwamakore 13!”

Ko Nhamo Inotora Nguva Yakadini?

Kuva nenhamo kwenguva refu kwaDiane kunotsigira icho Dr. Arthur Freese anotaura mubhuku rake rinonzi Help for Your Grief: “Magorokotera mazhinjisa anorangarira kuti kurashikirwa nomwana kunoparira kurashikirwa kwechigarire muvabereki, zvikurukuru mai.”

“Murangariro wenhetembo waShelley wakanga uri wokuti: “Nhamo inodzoka pakuchinja kwegore.” Zviyeuchidzo zvegore negore zvokurashikirwa nomudikani zvinovandudza marwadzo. Mamirioni avanhu nhasi anogona kusimbisa ikoku ndokubvunza kuti, chaizvoizvo, ‘Ndinogona sei kurarama nenhamo yangu?’ Asi nhamo ndichinoitika chinoporesa, kunyange zvazvo zvimwe chisingatongopedzwi. Nhamo inorwadza inoderera, kunyange zvazvo pfungwa yokurashikirwa ichiramba iripo.

Uyu murangariro unosimbiswa naHarold naMarjorie Bird veBritain avo vakarashikirwa nomwanakomana wavo wezera ramakore 19, Stephen, apo iye akanyura makore 10 akapfuura. Kushatisa zvinhu zvose, iye akanga achingova mwana wavo bedzi, uye mutumbi wake hauna kutongowanwa. Harold anotaura pamsoro pokuva nenhamo: “Kunotaurwa kuti nguva inoporesa, asi chaizvoizvo inongogomadza bedzi kuyeukwa kwomudikani. Kuporesa bedzi kuchauya apo tinosanganazve naye murumuko.”

Imwe fundo yezvesayenzi yokufirwa yakatsanangura kuva nenhamo sezvinotevera: “Vanyakufirwa vangachinja zvikurukuru uye nokukurumidza vachibva mune mumwe mugariro womurangariro vachienda kuno mumwe, uye kudziviswa kwezviyeuchidzo zvanyakufa kungachinjwa nokukudziridzwa kweyeuko kwenhambo yakati kuti yenguva. Zvikurukuru vanhu vanobva kuno mumwe mugariro wokusadavira vachienda kukugamuchirwa kwapashoma napashoma pane chinhu chaichoicho chokurashikirwa.”

Dr. Freese anoratidza kujekeswa kweiyi nhau yakakomba. “Nguva dzose munhu anofanira kuchengeta murangariro wakarurama—achiziva kuti vazhinjizhinji vaavo vanotambura nhamo uye vachipfuura nomukufirwa . . . vanobudira muno rumwe rutivi, vanonaya uye vachipinda mumugariro mumwe chetewo womuviri wakanaka zvikuru umo kurwadziwa nokurwara kwenhamo kwakavamba mauri.”

Chokwadi, mune zvinoitika zvizhinji munhu angaguma ava akagwinya zvikuru. Neiko ikoko kwakadaro? Nemhaka yokuti kutambura nhamo kwakadzidzisa kuzviisa munzvimbo yomumwe—kunzwisiswa kuri nani zvikuru nokubatanidza avo vari vakafirwa. Uye kuzviisa panzvimbo yomumwe zvakunopfuura kunzwira urombo, anokunda nhamo anova mudziyo, mupi zano, munyaradzi wavamwe vanotambura kurasikirwa nomudikanwi. Somuenzaniso, Bob, uyo ane mwanakomana wake David akafa nehosha yokukundikana kwomwoyo, akati: “Tinowana kuti kubetsera vamwe kutakura mutoro wavo wenhamo kwakaita kuti wedu isu timene uve nyore.”

Neiko Pachiva Nokuva Nemhaka, Kutsamwa, Nokupopotedzana?

Magorokotera mune zvenhamo anozivisa kuti kuita kwokuva nemhaka, kwokutsamwa, nokupopoterana uko kunowanzobatanidzwa nokufirwa ndokwenguva dzose nokuda kwouyu mugariro. Vapenyu vanoedza kuwana zvikonzero apo papanowanzova pasina zvinoshanda kana kuti zvine mufungo. ‘Neiko kwakaitika kwandiri? Chii chandakaita kuti ndifanirwe nakwo? Kudai bedzi takanga . . . ’ ndikumwe kwokuita kunozivikanwa. Vamwe vanomukira Mwari nemifungo yakadai seyokuti, ‘Sei Mwari akarega ikoku kuchiitika? Neiko Mwari aizoita ikoku kwandiri?’

Pano mhinduro yeBhaibheri ino uya mundangariro, “Nguva nechinoitika chisingadeyi kuonwa chinovawira ivo vose.” Tsaona dzinogona kuitika kunzvimbo ipi neipi, panguva ipi neipi, uye rufu harusaruri. Zvamazvirokwazvo Mwari worudo haazati aizosarudza munhu upi noupi kupfurikidza nokutora mwana wake.—Muparidzi 9:11; 1 Johane 4:8.

Agustín naValentina, vadudzwa munyaya yedu pakutanga, vakanga vachiri kusvimha misodzi pavaikurukura rufu rwaJonathan naMukai! Ko ivo vakava nokupopoterana kupi nokupi here? Valentina akapindura, kuti: “Ndakanga ndisingatongobvumiri kuti iye aifanira kuenda kuLong Island mumotokari yomumwe munhuwo zvake. Ndaitofanira kuva akatendeseka. Ndakapomera mhaka Agustín. Zvino ndoziva kuti kwakanga kuri kuita kusina mufungo, asi panguvayo ndakapfuurira kufunga, ‘kudai bedzi Baba vakanga vasina kumubvumira kuenda, aizodai ari mupenyu.’ Ndakaramba ndichimupomera mhaka. Ndaitofanira kukutaura nemhaka yokuti kwaindikuvadza kukuchengeta mandiri.”

Kushatirirwa kwaDiane Krych pamsoro porufu rwaDavid achiri muduku kwakatozviratidzira iko kumene mukuitira pfunde pfunde mhuka. Iye akaudza Mukai!: “Kana ndikaona imbwa kana kiti ichifamba mumugwagwa, ndaiva nomurangariro wokuti, ‘Mhuka iyoyo ino mwoyo wakanaka unorova mairi. Neiko mwanakomana wangu asati aigona kuva nomwoyo wakanaka? Neiko mhuka dzichifanira kufamba famba uye kwete David wangu?’”

Magorokotera anotisimbisira kuti kuita kwose ikoku, kunyange zvazvo kuchiwanzova kusina mufungo, ndokwomuzvarirwo. Kubvunza chimiro chokuva nomufungo, rutivi rwechinoitika chokuyananisa ndichinhu chaichoicho. Pakupedzisira, chitarisiko chakaterama chinosvikwa, uyu mufungo unogamuchirwa navose unokurira. Sezvo Dr. Freese achirondedzera: “Muedzo wokunangana nezvakanaka nenhamo—wokupfuura nomutoo wakakwana nomuchinetso nomurangariro zvokuchema nenhamo, wokugamuchira rufu nokutarira nomutoo wokutendeseka pamirangariro yose inova pamwe chete nawo—ndowokuti pakupedzisira muchemi anoshivirira idzi nguva dzakashata nokurwadza kunopfuura kana kuti mifungo miduku bedzi isina kutsarukana, uye kusuruvara.”

Ikoku kunoparira kuti zvinhu zvienzane. Dr. Freese anopfuurira, kuti: “Nharidzano ndeyokuva neyeuko yomunguva yakapfuura nemifungo inofadza, mano okutaura pamsoro panyakufa nohumachokwadi nechidakadaka, pakupedzisira anotsiva kurwadza kukuru nenhamo nengwavaira.” Zvino, yeuko dzinosimudzira chidakadaka kupfuura nhamo.

Kunangana Nokurashikirwa Nomwana Anoberekwa Afa

Kunyange zvazvo iye akanga achitova navamwe vana, Monna aitarisira norudo kuberekwa kwomwana wake anotevera. Kunyange pamberi pokuberekwa, akanga ari “mwana wandaitamba naye, wandaitaura naye, nowandaifunga nezvake.”

Chisungo chinobatanidza pakati pamai nomwana asati aberekwa chakanga chakasimba. Iye anopfuurira, kuti: “Rachel Anne akanga ari mwana aibanha mabhuku panhumbu yangu, aiita kuti ndirambe ndakasvinura usiku. Ndichiri anogona kuyeuka kubanha kuduku kwokutanga, sokunyoro, kubata kworudo. Nguva iri yose yaaipfekenyeka, ndaizadzwa norudo rukuru. Ndaisanomuziva zvikuru zvokuti ndaiziva apo iye akanga achirwadziwa, apo iye akanga achirwara.”

Monna anopfuuridzira nhauro yake, kuti: “Chiremba haasati aizondidavira, kutozosvikira kwava kunyanyononoka. Iye akandiudza kurega kuzvidya mwoyo. Ndinodavira kuti ndakanzwa kufa kwake. Iye akangovhizuka kamwe kamwe namasimba masimba. Zuva rakatevera racho akanga afa.”

Chinoitika chaMonna hachizati chiri chinoitika chiri choga. Mukuwirirana nomunyori Friedman naGradstein, mubhuku ravo rinonzi Surviving Pregnancy Loss, vanenge vakadzi vane mirioni imwe pagore muUnited States moga bedzi vanotambura mimba dzisingabudiriri. Vanhu vanowanzokundikana kuziva kuti kupfupfudzika pamuviri kana kuti kubereka gambe ingwavaira kumukadzi, uye anonetsekana—zvimwe upenyu hwake hwose. Somuenzaniso, Veronica, womuGuta reNew York, zvino ava mumakore ake omuma 50, anoyeuka kupfupfudzika nhumbu kwake uye zvikurukuru mwana akaberekwa afa uyo akanga ari mupenyu mumwedzi wechipfumbamwe uye akaberekwa achirema mapaundi 13 (6 kg). Akava naye akafa maari kwamavhiki maviri okupedzisira. Sokutaura kwake: “Kusununguka mwana akafa chinhu chakaipisisa kuna mai.”

Kuita kwaava vanamai vanovhiringidzwa hakusati kuchiwanzonzwisiswa, kunyange navamwe vakadzi. Chiremba wechirwere chendangariro uyo akarashikirwa nomwana wake kupfurikidza nokupfupfudzika nhumbu akanyora, kuti: “Zvandakadzidza nenzira inoisvorwadza zvakanga zviri zvokuti ikoku kusati kwaitika kwandiri, ndakanga ndisina chaizvoizvo pfungwa yeizvo shamwari dzangu dzaitofanira kutsungirira. Ndakava asingavarangariri naasingavazivi sokurangarira kwandavakuita zvino kuti ndozvinoita vanhu kwandiri.”

Chimwe chinetso chamai ari kunetsekana ndechomurangariro wokuti murume wake angave asati achirangarira kurashikirwa sezvaanoita. Mumwe mudzimai akakutaura neiyi nzira: “Ndakaodzwa mwoyo chose chose nokuda kwomurume wangu panguvayo. Kana ari iye, zvamazvirokwazvo, ndini ndakanga ndine nhumbu. Iye aisagona kunzwa nhamo yandakanga ndinayo. Iye akanga achinzwira urombo kutya kwangu asi kwete nhamo yangu.”

Uku kuita zvimwe ndokwomuzvarirwo kumurume—iye haazati achinzwa chisungo chimwe chetecho chokunyama nechomurangariro icho mudzimai wake ana pamuviri acho. Hunyanguvezvo, iye anotambura kurashikirwa. Uye kunokosha kuti murume nomudzimai vazive kuti vari kutambura pamwe chete, kunyange zvazvo kuri munzira dzakasiana. Ivo vanofanira kugoverana nhamo yavo. Kana murume achiivanza, mudzimai wake angafunga kuti iye haatapuriki. (Ona peji 12.) Naizvozvo goveranai misodzi yenyu, mifungo, nekurudziro. Ratidzirai kuti munoshaiwana kupfuura nakare kwose.

Chakavanzika Nenhamo Yorufu Rusingakarirwi

Mamirioni avanamai anorarama nechakavanzika, rutyo rwezuva nezuva. Sokutaura kwakaita mumwe mai, kuti: “Ndinonyengetera usiku huri hwose kuti ndichawana mwana wangu ari mupenyu mumangwanani.” Chavanotya rufu rusingakarirwi rwomwana, kana kuti SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome). Dr. Marie Valdes-Dapena, purofesa wezvirwere paUniversity yeMiami, Florida, anotaura kuti kune zvirwere 6 000 kusvikira ku 7 000 zveSIDS gore negore muUnited States moga bedzi. Anowedzera, kuti: “Havagoni kuva nepanikiro yokuti ikoku chinetso chaichoicho zvikuru choutano hwavanhu.”

Rufu rusingakarirwi rwomwana runotapura vacheche pausiku, kazhinji kazhinji pakati pomwedzi wechipiri nowechina woupenyu. Sayenzi ichigere kubuda netsananguro inogutsa, kunyange nzvero pakutsvaga chikonzero chorufu inokundikana kugovera chikonzero chorufu rwakamwe kamwe. Runoramba ruri chakavanzika.a

Muuyo worufu rusingakarirwi unowanzova kunzwa kukuru kwokuva nemhaka. Naizvozvo, chii chichabetsera vabereki mune zvinoitika zvorufu rusingakarirwi. Kutanga, ivo vanofanira kuziva kuti ivo havati vaigona kudzivisa ngwavairayo. SIDS haideyi kufemberwa uye haiwanzodziviswa. Naizvozvo, hapana chikonzero chokunzwa kupi nokupi kwokuva nemhaka. Chechipiri, tsigirano yomuzvarirwo yavabereki, chivimbo, nokunzwisisa zvichabetsera ivo vose vari vaviri kugonana nenhamo yavo. Taurai pamsoro pomucheche wenyu navamwe. Goveranai kunzwa.

Vanasekuru Vanosuruvarawo

Vanasekuru vanotamburawo, nenzira chaiyo. Sokukureva kwakaita mumwe baba akafirwa: “Vanoita kusati bedzi kuri kurufu rwomuzukuru asiwo kunhamo yomwana wavo amene.”

Asika kune nzira dzokuita kuti kurashikirwa kwavanasekuru kuve nyore zvikuru. Kutanga, varangarirei. Muzukuru wavo akanga ari kufutunurwa kwavowo. Naizvozvo vanasekuru vanofanira kugamuchirwa muchinoitika chokuchema munzira yavo vamene. Chokwadika, ikoku hakuzati kuchireva kuti ivo vanofanira kuita kudaro kunze kwemvumo yavabereki. Asi kana vachida kubatanidzwa, uye vanowanzodaro, vanofanira kugamuchirwa.

Muno uku kufukidzwa kupfupi kwenhamo, taedza kunzwisisa kunzwa kwavanyakufirwa. Asi kuchine rumwe rutivi rwokurangarira. Ko vamwe vangabetsera sei, zvikurukuru namashoko avo? Uye varume vanogona sei kuratidzira kusuruvara kwavo? Tapota ona nyaya inotevera.

[Mashoko Omuzasi]

[Bhokisi riri papeji 7]

Chinoitika Chenhamo

Ikoku hakusati kuchireva kuti nhamo ine rudungwe rwupi norwupi rwakagadzwa kana kuti purogiramu. Kuita kwenhamo kunogona kupfuurira kuchibatanidza urefu hwakasiana hwenguva, kuchitsamira pamunhu.

Kuita kwokutanga:

Kukatyamadzwa kwokutanga; kusadavira; kuramba; kuomarara muviri; kunzwa kwokuva nemhaka; hasha

Kusuruvara kukuru kungabatanidzwa:

Kurashikirwa neyeuko nokusabatwa nehope; kupera simba kukurusa; chinjo dzakamwe kamwe dzechimiro chendangariro; chisarudzo chokukanganisa nokufunga; nhambo dzokuchema; kuchinja kwokunzwa nzara, nomuuyo wokurashikirwa nouremu kana kuti kuwana uremu; mhatsa yezviratidzo zvougwinyi hwakavhiringidzika; kupera simba; simba rebasa rinotapudzika; kuona madzerere—kurangarira, kunzwa, kuona nyakufa

Nhambo yokunaya:

Rusuruvaro rwokumuyeuka; yeuko dzinofadza zvikuru dzanyakufa, kunyange nedzakabatana nomufaro

(Kwakavakirwa paHelp for Your Grief, rakanyorwa naDr. Arthur Freese, mapeji 23-6.)

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Nhanho Dzokukubetsera Kukurira Nhamo Yako

Munhu mumwe nomumwe anotofanira kukurira nhamo nenzira yake amene. Nhanho inokosha ndeyokudzivisa kunyanyozvifunga nokuzvinzwira ngoni. Zvimwe zvikarakadzo zvakavakirwa pachinoitika chavanhu vakafirwa vakabvunzwa naMukai! ndeizvi:

◼Ramba wakabatikana ndokupfuurira nomutoo wako webasa nomubato. Avo vari Zvapupu zvaJehovha vanosimbisa zvikurukuru ukoshi hwokupinda misangano yechiKristu nokuva vanobatikana muushumiri. Vazhinji vakaratidzira betsero huru yavakawana mumunyengetero.

◼Ita kuti kusuruvara kwako kuzviratidzire iko kumene; usaedza kukupfigira mukati. Kana ukakurumidza kusuruvara ndokuchema, unokurumidza zvikuru kupfuura nhambo yorusuruvaro rukuru.

◼Usazvitsaura iwe umene; sangana navanhu uye vabvumire kusangana newe. Kana kukakubetsera, taura norusununguko pamsoro pomudikani wako akarashika.

◼Nokukurumidza pakunobvira napo, farira vamwe vanhu nezvinetso zvavo. Edza kubetsera vamwe, uye uchazvibetsera iwe umene.

[Bhokisi riri papeji 10]

Ko Vamwe Vangaitei Kubetsera?

Vanyori vaMukai! vakava nokubvunzurudzana kuzhinji navazhinji navabereki vakafirwa munyika dzakasiana-siana. Zvinotevera ndizvimwe zvezvikarakadzo zvakaitwa nokuda kwokubetsera mhuri dzinotambudzika. Sezvinooneka, panofanira kuva nokuchinja mukushandiswa kwazvo, kuchitsamira pakunzwa kwavananyakufirwa.

1. Shanya nemhuri kubvira pazuva rokutanga rimene, uyewo vakokere kunzvimbo yako. Vabikirei zvokudya. Pfuurira kuita ikoku kwenguva refu seiri inodikanwa, kwete bedzi mavhiki okutanga mashomanene.

2. Ita kuti vabereki vasarudze kana ivo vachida kuti zvipfeko nezvimwe zviyeuchidzo zvomwana akafa zvive zvinochengetwa kana kuti zvinochengetwa kune imwe nzvimbo.

3. Taura pamsoro pomwana akafa nezita kana nyakufirwa achiratidzira chishuvo chakadaro. Yeuka mativi anofadza naanodakadza nohunhu hwomwana noupenyu. Usaramba unyerere. Vabereki vangave vachida kutaura pamsoro pomudikani wavo.

4. Kana uri kure zvokusagona kupa betsero chaiyo, nyora tsamba dzinokurudzira nedzinonyaradza. Usadzivisa nyaya yanyakufa.

5. Pakunenge kwakakodzera, kurudzira vabereki kupfuurira kushingaira nokuchengeta mutoo wavo wekare. Vaite kuti vabude mumba ndokuitira vamwe zvinhu.

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Mbuya Vanonyora:

“Ndichinge ndarashikirwa murufu navabereki vangu vanodiwa, hanzvadzi, mukoma, shamwari yangu yenguva refu yakazvipira, murume wangu shamwari inodiwa, Jim wangu, uyo ndakasangana naye ndokumuda pamakore 13 ezera, uye kazukuru kangu kanokosha Stuart Jamie—ndinogona kutaura kuti hakuna rusuruvaro, hakuna kurwadziwa, hakuna nhamo inotambudza, inondimomotera kunyange sezvandinonyora, sorufu rwomwana.”

—Edna Green, England, parufu rwomuzukuru wavo, ane zera ramakore maviri nemwedzi mipfumbamwe.

[Mufananidzo uri papeji 8]

Kupfurikidza nokugoverana kuri pamhene nhamo yenyu, munobetserana kubudirira