Betsero Nokuda Kwavana Vakura Vezvidhakwa

“Kana wakakurira mumhuri yezvidhakwa, unotofanira kururamisa kudzidza kwakakangaidzwa uye nyongano yendangariro zvakabva mukurerwa ikoko. Ikoko hakudzivisiki.”—Dr. George W. Vroom.

MURWI akuvadzwa chaizvo avete achibuda ropa panhandare yehondo. Betsero inokurumidza kusvika, uye murwi akuvadzwa anoendeswa nechimbichimbi kuchipatara. Murwi apona, asi zvinetso zvake achinazvo. Maronda ake anofanira kurapwa, uye kangaidziko yenhamo yake ingagara kwamakore.

Nokuda kwavana vomubereki ari chidhakwa, musha unogona kuva wakafanana nenhandare yehondo umo zvinodikanwa zvikuru zvomunhu zvinodenhwa. Vamwe vana vanobatwa zvisina kufanira muvatano; vamwe vanodenhwa mumuviri; vakawanda vanosiiwa mundangariro. “Rudzi rumwe cheterwo rwetyisidziro huru inganzwiwa nomwana apo iye anonzwa mabhomba achidonha kana kuti zvigwagwagwa zvichipfura paimba yavo,” rinodaro rimwe jaya, richirangarira uhwana hwaro. Hakushamisi kuti vana vakawanda vezvidhakwa vanoratidzira zviratidzo zvimwe chetezvo zvenhamo yapashure sezvinoita nyanzvi dzokurwa!

Chokwadi, vana vakawanda vanopukunyuka nhamo idzi uye pakupedzisira vanobva pamusha. Asi vanopinda muukuru vaine kuvadziko dzendangariro idzo, kunyange zvazvo dzisingaoneki, ndedzechokwadi chaizvo uye dzinopfuurira seidzo dzomurwi akakuvadzwa. “Zvino ndava namakore 60 okukura,” anodaro Gloria, “uye upenyu hwangu huchiri hunotapurwa nenhamo dzinobatanidza kuva akaberekerwa mumhuri ine mubereki ari chidhakwa.”

Chii chinogona kuitwa kubetsera vakadaro ivavo? ‘Goverana rusuruvaro rwavo,’ rinorumbidza kudaro Bhaibheri. (VaRoma 12:15, Phillips) Kuti aite ikoku, munhu anofanira kunzwisisa kuvadziko dzendangariro dzinowanzoparirwa nokurarama mumhoteredzo yezvidhakwa.

“Handina Kutongova Nouhwana”

Mwana anoda kuva anorerwa, anotarisirwa, uye anoitwa kuti ave nouchokwadi nguva dzose. Mumhuri yezvidhakwa, ngwariro yakadaro inowanzoshaikwa. Mune zvimwe zvinoitika pane kushandurwa kwebasa, uye mwana anokarirwa kurera mubereki. Somuenzaniso, Albert akanga ari muriritiri wemhuri yavo pazera ramakore 14! Munzvimbo yomubereki ari chidhakwa, mumwe musikana muduku anonzi Jan aiita mutoro wamabasa apamba. Akanga ariwo mutarisiri mukuru wavanun’una vake nehanzvadzi—kose ikoku kwakatanga apo iye akanga ava namakore matanhatu bedzi!

Vana havasiri vanhu vakura, uye havangagoni kushanda savanhu vakura. Apo mabasa avabereki navana anochinjwa, vana vakaita savakura vanhasi vanova vakura vasingagutsikani vamangwana. (Enzanisa naVaEfeso 6:4.) Mupi wezano wemhuri John Bradshaw anonyora, kuti: “Vanokura kuva nemiviri yavanhu vakura. Vanoratidzika uye vanotaura savakura, asi mukati mavo mune mwana muduku asingagutsikani asingatongove nezvinodikanwa zvake zvinosvitswa.” Vakadaro ivavo vanganzwa sezvakaita mumwe muKristu: “Ndichine ukuru husingaperi hwamarwadzo anoparirwa nokusaita kuti zvinodikanwa zvangu zvikurusa zvendangariro zvisvitswe somwana.”

“Inofanira Kuva Mhaka Yangu”

Apo Robert akanga achingova bedzi namakore 13 okukura, baba vake vakafira mutsaona. “Ndakaedza kuva akanaka,” Robert anoyeuka kudaro meso ake akaderedzwa. “Ndinoziva kuti ndaiita zvinhu zvavakanga vasingadi, asi ndakanga ndisiri mwana akashata.” Robert akatakura mutwaro unorema wemhaka pamusoro poudhakwa hwababa vake uye akaita kudaro kwamakore mazhinji. Pakurondedzera zviri pamusoro apa, Robert akanga ane makore 74 okukura!

Kunozivikanwa zvikuru kuti vana vatakure mutoro woudhakwa hwomubereki. Kuzvipomera mhaka kunopa mwana mufungo usakarurama wokudzora pamugariro wacho. Sokureva kunoita Janice, kuti: “Ndaifunga kuti kudai ndakanga ndiri nani zvikuru, baba vangu vaisazonwazve.”

Huchokwadi ndohwokuti hakuna mwana—kana kuti mukuru—anogona kusakisa, kudzora, kana kuti kurapa kunwa kwomunhu upi noupiwo zvake. Kana mubereki wako ari chidhakwa, pasinei hapo nezvawakaudzwa kana kuti izvo mumwe munhu akareva, hausati uchingofanira kupomerwa mhaka! Uye ungadikanirwa kusanorangarira kana somukuru, uchiri kunzwa une mutoro nomutoo usina kufanira nokuda kwezviito nokuzvibata kwavamwe.—Enzanisa naVaRoma 14:12; VaFiripi 2:12.

“Handigoni Kuvimba Nomunhu Upi Noupi”

Kuvimba kunovakira pakusvitsa uye kutendeseka. Mhoteredzo yechidhakwa inovakirwa pachivande uye kuramba.

Sepwere, Sara aiziva nezvoudhakwa hwababa vake. Bva, anoyeuka, kuti: “Ndainzwa ndine mhaka kunyange kufunga shoko racho nokuti hakuna munhu mumhuri yedu aizoritaura.” Susan anorondedzera chinoitika chakafanana: “Hakuna munhu mumhuri akambotaura pamusoro pezvakanga zvichiitika, vakanga vasingafari sei, kana kuti takanga tichipengera sei [baba vangu vokurera chidhakwa]. Ndinofunga kuti ndakangofuratira bedzi mugariro wacho.” Huchokwadi hwoudhakwa hwomubereki nokudaro hunowanzofukidzwa mukuramba. “Ndakadzidza kusaona zvinhu nokuti ndakanga ndaona zvakaringana,” anodaro Susan.

Chivimbo chinoputswazve nokuzvibata kusingawirirani kwechidhakwa. Vakanga vachifara nezuro, asi nhasi vari kupopota. “Handisaiziva apo fungu rokupopota raizotanga,” anodaro Martin, mwana akura waamai vari chidhakwa. Chidhakwa chinoputsa vimbiso, kwete nemhaka yokusangwarira, asi nemhaka bedzi yechinwiwa chinodhakisa. Dr. Claudia Black anotsanangura, kuti: “Kudeya kubatikana nokunwa kunova chinhu chokutanga chechidhakwa. Zvimwewo zvose zvinova munzvimbo yechipiri.”

“Ndinovanza Kunzwa Kwangu”

Apo kunzwa kusingagoni kugoveranwa nomutoo unonyaradza, vana vanodzidza kukudzvinyirira. Vanoenda kuchikoro ne“nyemwerero pazviso zvavo namapundu mumwoyo yavo,” rinodaro bhuku rinonzi Adult Children—The Secrets of Dysfunctional Families, uye havatsungi kugoverana mifungo yavo nokuda kwokutyira kufumura chakavanzika chemhuri yavo. Nechokunze, chinhu chiri chose chakaisvonaka; nechomukati, kunzwa kwakadzvinyirirwa kunovamba kupfundira.

Mukukura nhamburiko dzipi nedzipi dzokudzima shungu nebata kumeso ye‘chinhu chiri chose chakaisvonaka’ dzinowanzokundikana. Kana kunzwa kusingagoni kuratidzirwa nokutaura, kungabuda nomumuviri—ndiko kuti, kupfurikidza namaronda, kutemwa nomusoro kusingaperi, zvichingodaro. “Kunzwa kwakanga kuchindidya chaizvoizvo,” anodaro Shirley. “Ndakanga ndine chirwere chiri chose chomuviri chinozivikanwa.” Dr. Timmen Cermak anotsanangura, kuti: “Nzira inobata nayo vana vakura nhamo ndeyokuiramba, asi haungagoni kunyengedza Musikirwo unotaurwa nezvawo saMai. . . . Muviri unochengetwa mumugariro wenhamo, wakamanikidzika zvikuru kwamakore unotanga kuperevedzeka.”

Haipukunyukwi

Vana vakura vezvidhakwa vakasimba; kupukunyuka kwavo nhamo youhwana kunopupurira idi irero. Asi zvakawanda zvinodikanwa kupfuura kupukunyuka. Mifungo mitsva muukama hwemhuri inofanira kudzidzwa. Kunzwa kwokuva nemhaka, kutsamwa, uye kuzviremekedza kwakaderera zvingada kutaurwa. Vana vakura vezvidhakwa vanofanira kushandisa simba ravo kupfeka icho Bhaibheri rinoidza kuti “hunhu hutsva.”—VaEfeso 4:23, 24; VaKorose 3:9, 10, NW.

Iri harisiri basa riri nyore. LeRoy, mwana akura wechidhakwa, akaparapatikira kushandisa nheyo dzeBhaibheri mumhuri yavo imene kwamakore 20. “Pandakagamuchira zano rose rorudo kubva kuSosaiti kupfurikidza nebhuku rinonzi Mhuri nezvimwe zvinyorwa, ndaisagona kunzwisisa mufungo wacho.a Muuyo wakanga uri wokuti ndaiita basa rakaderera rokushandisa mashoko acho. . . . Ndisina kunzwa, ndakanga ndichiedza nomutoo womuzvarirwo kuwana ndokushandisa mirau, savaFarise.”—Ona Mateo 23:23, 24.

Kumunhu akaita saLeRoy, mikumbirowo zvayo yoku“va anoda zvikuru” kana kuti ku“kurukura” kana kuti “kuranga vana vako” ingava isina kuringana. Neiko? Nokuti mwana akura angave asina kutongova noruzivo rwokuzviwanira rwaaya mavara kana kuti unyanzvi, nokudaro anogona sei kuaratidzira kana kuti kuatevedzera? LeRoy akatsvaka kupiwa zano rokuti anzwisise simba roudhakwa hwababa vake. Ikoku kwakakura nzira nokuda kwefambiro mberi mumudzimu. “Kunyange zvazvo iyoyi yave iri nguva inorwadza muupenyu hwangu, yave iri nguva yokukura kuukuru mumudzimu,” iye anodaro. “Kwenguva yokutanga muupenyu hwangu, ndinonzwa zvomenemene kuti ndava kuvamba kusanonzwisisa chiri rudo rwaMwari.”—1 Johane 5:3.

Mumwe mukadzi wechiKristu anonzi Cheryl akabetserekana neyamuro yomushandi womunzanga ane ruzivo rwokuzviwanira munhau dzemhuri dzoudhakwa. Akavimbawo nomukuru anonzwira tsitsi. “Kwanguve kwakadaro bedzi chifo chokubvisa kwangu ‘zvakavanzika zvinonyadzisa’ kuti ndinonzwa ndine rugare naJehovha neni ndimene,” iye anodaro. “Zvino ndinoona Jehovha saBaba vangu (chimwe chinhu chandaisatongogona kuita kare), uye handinzwi ndichinyengedzwazve kuti handina kutongowana rudo nenhungamiro kuna baba vangu pasi pano zvandaida.”

Amy, mwanasikana akura wechidhakwa, akawana kuti kushanda kuti akudziridze “chibereko chomudzimu” kwakamubetsera zvikurukuru. (VaGaratia 5:22, 23, NW) Akadzidzawo kutaura nechivimbo mifungo yake uye kunzwa kumukuru anonzwisisa. “Akandiyeuchidza nezvetendero yandaida zvomenemene kutsvaka,” anodaro Amy, “iya yaJehovha Mwari naJesu Kristu. Kutsvaka rudo rwavo netendero hakusati kuchitongova kuzviparadza.”

Kurapa Kwakakwana

Bhaibheri rine chipikirwa chakanyorwa chaJesu Kristu chokuti avo vanouya kwaari vakaremerwa nefunganyo vachazorodzwa. (Mateo 11:28-30) Mukuwedzera, Jehovha anonzi “Mwari wenyaradzo yose, uyo anotinyaradza mukutambudzika kwedu kose.” (2 VaKorinte 1:3, 4) Maureena anoti: “Ndakasvika pakuziva Jehovha soUyo asati aizotongondisiya munyama, mundangariro, kana kuti mumurangariro.”

Tiri kurarama muzera umo Bhaibheri rinoidza kuti mazuva okupedzisira, nguva umo vazhinji—kunyange mukati meboka remhuri—vaizova ‘vanotuka, vasina chidakadaka chomuzvarirwo, uye vanotyisa.’ (2 Timotio 3:2, 3, The New English Bible) Asi Mwari anopikira kuti nokukurumidza achapinza nyika itsva yorugare umo iye achabvisa misodzi yose norusuruvaro. (Zvakazarurwa 21:4, 5) Anodaro mumwe muKristu akarererwa mumusha wezvidhakwa: “Tinokarira kuti isu tose tinogona kupinda pamwe chete munyika itsva iyeyo, umo tichagamuchira kurapa kwakakwana uko Jehovha bedzi anogona kupa.”

NHAU YECHINOITIKA

“Ini ndiri mwana akura wechidhakwa. Baba vangu vakava chidhakwa pandakanga ndava namakore masere. Pavaidhakwa, vaiva nemasimba masimba. Ndinoyeuka rutyo rwakanzwiwa nemhuri yose. Panguva yandaifanira kuve ndakava nouhwana hunofadza, ndakadzidza kuvanza kunzwa kwangu, zvinodiwa, zvishuvo, uye tariro. Amai naBaba vakanga vakanyanyobatikana mukutarisira chinetso chake chokusatongova anowanika nokuda kwangu. Ndakanga ndisingafanirwi nenguva yavo. Ndakasvika pakunzwa ndisina maturo. Pazera ramakore masere basa rakava pandiri rakandigombedzera kurega kuva mwana—kukura pakarepo uye kutakura mitoro yemhuri. Upenyu hwangu hwakaiswa mukusatsarukana.

“Kuzvibata kwababa vangu kwakanga kuchinyadzisa zvikuru zvokuti nyadzi dzake dzakanamatira pandiri. Kudzibvisa ndakaedza kuva akakwana. Ndakapa ndapazve, ndichiedza kutenga rudo, ndisingakutongonzwi ndakafanirwa norudo rwakakwana. Upenyu hwangu hwakava chinoitwa, nokunzwa kwakagomadzwa. Makore akati kuti gare gare murume wangu navana vakandiudza kuti ndakanga ndiri robhoti, rinongozvishandira nomutoo wakarongwa. Kwamakore 30 ndakanga ndavabatira somuranda, ndichibaira zvinodikanwa zvangu zvorudo nokuda kwavo, ndakanga ndavapa sokugaropa kwandakanga ndaita vabereki vangu. Uye ikoku kwakanga kuri kuonga kwangu here? Kwakanga kuri kuvadziko yokupedzisira!

“Mukutsamwa, nyongano, uye kupererwa nezano, ndakashinga kuwana chakanga chisina kururama kwandiri. Sezvandakataura navamwe vakanga varererwa mumisha yechidhakwa, kunzwa kwakawanda kwakapfigirwa mukati kwakavamba kubuda, zvinhu zvisina kutongoyeukwa kare, zvinhu zvakaparira kurwa kwangu kazhinji kazhinji nokupera mwoyo kunonetesa. Kwakanga kwakaita sokusunungura mutoro, kuchenura. Isununguko yakadini kuziva kuti ndakanga ndisiri ndoga bedzi, kuti vamwe vaigoverana uye vainzwisisa nhamo yokurererwa kwangu mumusha wechidhakwa!

“Ndakatendeukira kuboka rinonzi Vana Vakura Vezvidhakwa ndokuvamba kushandisa zvimwe zvokurapa kwavo. Mabhuku okushandisa akandibetsera kuchinja mirangariro yakamonyaniswa. Ndakanyora kunzwa kwezuva nezuva kuti ndifukunyure kunzwa kwomuraudzo, kunzwa kwakanga kwavanzwa kwamakore. Ndakateerera matepu anodzidzisa mutoo wokuzvibetsera nawo. Ndakaona kurukurirano dzapaTV dzaiitwa nomumwe murume uyo iye amene akanga ari mwana akura wechidhakwa. Bhuku rinonzi Feeling Good, rapaUniversity of Pennsylvania School of Medicine, rakandibetsera kuvaka kuzviremekedza uye kuvandudza nzira dzangu dzokufunga dzakamonyaniswa.

“Dzimwe dzeidzi nzira itsva dzokufunga dzakava zvishandiswa, kutaura kwokugonana nakwo noupenyu noukama. Dzimwe dzaidzodzi dzandakadzidza ndokushandisa ndeidzi: Handi chakaitika kwatiri chinokosha, ndiwo marangaririre kana kuti maonere atinoita chakaitika. Kunzwa hakufaniri kugomadzirwa mukati asi kunoda kuva kunonzverwa ndokuratidzirwa nomutoo unovaka kana kuti kubviswa. Chimwe chishandiswa ndiwo mutsetse wamashoko unoti ‘zvipinze umene munzira yakarurama yokufunga.’ Chiito chinodzokororwa chinogona kuumba nzira itsva dzouropi.

“Chishandiswa chinokosha zvikurusa kupfuura zvose iShoko raMwari, Bhaibheri. Mariri uye muungano dzeZvapupu zvaJehovha, pamwe chete navakuru vadzo nezvimwe Zvapupu zvakakura mumudzimu, ndakagamuchira kurapa kwomudzimu kwakaisvonakisisa, uye ndakadzidza kuva norudo rwakafanira nokuda kwangu ndimene. Ndakadzidzawo kuti ndiri munhu akasiana ane hunhu hwake, kuti hakuna mumwe muchisiko chapose pose akafanana neni. Chinokosha zvikurusa, ndinoziva kuti Jehovha anondida, uye Jesu akandifira pamwe chete navamwe.

“Zvino, gore rimwe nehafu gare gare, ndingataura kuti ndava nani zvikuru ne 70 muzana. Kuporeswa chose chose kuchauya bedzi apo nyika itsva yaJehovha yokururama inenge yatsiva iyi nyika yakaipa yazvino uno namwari wayo, Satani Dhiabhorosi.”

MHEDZISO

Bhaibheri rinoti: “Mano mumwoyo momunhu angaita semvura yakadzika; asi munhu wenjere uchaichera.” (Zvirevo 20:5) Kunofanira kuva nenzwisiso kana uyo anobetsera achizova anobetsera mukuchera mvura dzakadzama dzomwoyo zvinhu zvinonetsa nyakupera mwoyo. “Muvapi zano vazhinji” mune ukoshi hukuru kana vane nzwisiso. (Zvirevo 11:14, NW) Chirevo chinotevera chinoratidzirawo ukoshi hwokutsvaka zano kuna vamwe: “Kupfurikidza nesimbi, simbi imene inorodzwa. Naizvozvo munhu anorodza chiso chomumwe.” (Zvirevo 27:17, NW) Apo vanotambudzika vanokurukura “pangava netsinhano yorukurudziro pakati [pavo].” (VaRoma 1:12, NW) Uye kuita murairo weBhaibheri wo“kutaura nomutoo unonyaradza kune mweya yakaora mwoyo,” uyo anoita kunyaradza anofanira kunzwisisa chisakiso, mavambo okupera mwoyo kunotambudza munhu anoda kunyaradzwa.—1 VaTesaronika 5:14.

[Mashoko Omuzasi]

[Mashoko okukwezva vaverengi ari papeji 26]

Vana vazhinji vezvidhakwa vanoratidzira zviratidzo zvimwe chetezvo zvenhamo yapashure sezvinoita nyanzvi dzokurwa!

[Mashoko okukwezva vaverengi ari papeji 28]

Mhoteredzo yezvidhakwa inovakirwa pakavandika nokuramba

[Mashoko okukwezva vaverengi ari papeji 28]

Vanoenda kuchikoro ne“nyemwerero pazviso namapundu mumwoyo yavo”

[Mashoko okukwezva vaverengi ari papeji 29]

“Zvino ndinoona Jehovha saBaba vangu (chimwe chinhu chandisaitongogona kuita kare)”

[Mashoko okukwezva vaverengi ari papeji 30]

Chishandiswa chinoisvokosha kupfuura zvose iShoko raMwari, Bhaibheri

[Mufananidzo uri papeji 27]

“Kunzwa kwakanga kuchindidya chaizvoizvo”