Vechiduku Vanobvunza Kuti . . .

Vanababa Vanotiza—Vangatiza Chaizvoizvo Here?

“Paakati, ‘Ndichava nemwana wako,’ ndakavhunduka. Ndiani aizotarisira mwana wacho? Ndakanga ndisati ndave kukwanisa kutarisira mhuri. Ndakada kutiza.”—Jim.a

“GORE roga roga,” unodaro mushumo unobva kuAlan Guttmacher Institute, “vakadzi vachiri kuyaruka vanenge miriyoni imwe . . . vanobata pamuviri.” Kubereka kwakawanda kunosvika ku“78 muzana kunoitwa nevachiri kuyaruka kunoitwa zviri kunze kwomuchato.”

Makarekare, varume vainzwa vachisungirwa kuva nomutoro pavana vavaibereka. Asi sezvinotaurwa nebhuku rinonzi Teenage Fathers, “pamuviri panoitwa kunze kwomuchato hapachanyadzisi kana kushoresa sezvapaiita [kare].” Pakati pavamwe vechiduku vari mune dzimwe nzanga, kubereka mwana kunogona kutoonwa sechiratidzo chokuti wava munhu akaita sei! Asiwo, havasi varume vechiduku vakawanda vanozvipira kuchengeta vana vavanobereka kwenguva yakareba. Vakawanda vanoenda—kana kuti kutiza—nokufamba kwenguva.b

Asi murume wechiduku angatiza chaizvoizvo migumisiro yomufambiro wounzenza here? Kwete maererano neBhaibheri. Rinonyevera kuti: “Musatsauswa: Mwari haasi wokuseka. Nokuti zvinodyara munhu, ndizvo zvaachakohwa.” (VaGaratiya 6:7) Sezvatichaona, unzenza hwokuita zvepabonde kakawanda hunoguma nemigumisiro youpenyu hwose kuvakomana navasikana. Vechiduku vanogona kudzivisa migumisiro yakadaro nokuteerera zano reBhaibheri rakajeka kuti varege unzenza hwokuita zvepabonde.

Kutiza—Hakusi Nyore

Kuchengeta mwana kunoda nguva yakawanda, kushandisa mari yakawanda, nokurega zvimwe zvinhu zvomunhu oga zvizhinji. Bhuku rinonzi Young Unwed Fathers rinoti: “Vamwe varume vechiduku havafariri ku‘tarisira mumwe munhu,’ apo kuita kudaro kunoreva kuti vasare vaine zvishoma.” Zvisinei, vakawanda vanobhadhara mutengo mukuru nokuda kwoudyire hwavo. Somuenzaniso, matare navaiti vemitemo munyika dzakawanda vari kuramba vaine pfungwa isina kujeka pamusoro pavarume vanotadza kuchengeta vana vavo. Apo mumwe munhu anenge anzi ndiye baba nomutemo, vanababa vechiduku vangafanira kubhadhara zvinodiwa kwemakore anouya—uye vanotoita kudaro. Vechiduku vakawanda vanomanikidzwa kusiya chikoro kana kuti kushanda mabasa anobhadhara zvishoma kuti vakwanise kuita zvavanofanirwa kuita izvozvo. “Kuva mubereki uchiri muduku,” rinodaro bhuku rinonzi School-Age Pregnancy and Parenthood, “kunoita kuti baba vasakwanise kuwana dzidzo inotarisirwa kuti munhu wose ave nayo.” Uye kana munhu akakundikana kubhadhara mari yokutsigira, zvikwereti zvikuru zvinogona kuungana.

Chokwadi, havasi varume vechiduku vose vanoomesera mwoyo vana vavo. Vakawanda vanotanga nezvinangwa zvakanaka. Maererano nokumwe kunzvera, vanababa 75 muzana vachiri kuyaruka vakashanyira mwana wavo muchipatara. Asi, nokukurumidza vanababa vaduku vanokurirwa nemitoro yokutarisira mwana.

Vakawanda vanowana kuti havana unyanzvi kana kuti ruzivo runoita kuti vawane basa rakakodzera. Nemanyadzi okusagona kwavo kubatsira nemari, nokufamba kwenguva vanongonyangarika. Kunyange zvakadaro, marwadzo okuzvidemba anogona kutambudza murume wechiduku kwemakore anotevera. Mumwe baba wechiduku anobvuma kuti: “Dzimwe nguva ndinonetseka kuti chii chakaitika kumwanakomana wangu. . . . Handinzwi zvakanaka noku[mu]siya kwandakaita, asi zvino handichazivi kwaari. Zvimwe rimwe zuva achandiwana.”

Kukuvadzwa Kunoitwa Vana

Vanababa vanotiza vanofanirawo kukunda kunzwa kunyara kwakasimba—nyadzi dzokuti vakakuvadza mwana wavo pachavo. Pashure pezvose, sezvinoratidzwa neBhaibheri, mwana anoda amai uye baba. (Eksodho 20:12; Zvirevo 1:8, 9) Murume paanotiza mwana wake, anoita kuti mwana wake atarisane nezvinetso zvakawanda. Mushumo weUnited States Department of Health and Human Services unoti: “Vana vaduku mumhuri dzina vanaamai chete vanowanzofoira bvunzo dzokutaura uye dzamasvomhu. Mumakore epakati pouduku, vana vakarerwa nomubereki mumwe vanowanzova namagiredhi akadzikira, zvinetso zvokuzvibata zvakawanda, uye mwero mukuru wezvinetso zvoutano zvenguva refu uye kusashanda zvakanaka kwepfungwa. Pakati pevachiri kuyaruka nevabva zera, kurererwa mumhuri ina amai chete kwakabatana nenjodzi dzakawanda dzokubereka vana kunoitwa nevachiri kuyaruka, kurega chikoro chesekondari, kusungwa, uye kusawana basa nokusaenda kuchikoro.”

Magazini yeAtlantic Monthly inopedzisa ichiti: “Maererano nezviratidzo zviri kuwedzera zvemagariro nezvesayenzi, vana vari mumhuri dzakaparadzaniswa nokurambana uye vakaberekwa nevabereki vasina kuchata vanokundikana zvakanyanya pane vana vari mumhuri dzine vabereki vose muzvinhu zvinoverengeka zvoupenyu. Vana vari mumhuri dzomubereki mumwe vangangova varombo nekatanhatu. Vangangorambawo vari varombo.”

Ziva kuti njodzi idzi dziri kutorerwa panhamba dzokunzverwa kwakaitwa vakawanda uye hadzishandi kumunhu oga oga. Vana vakawanda vanozova vanhu vakuru vakanaka, vakadzikama pasinei zvapo nemamiriro ezvinhu emhuri ekare ourombo. Kunyange zvakadaro, kunzwa aine mhaka kunogona kuvhiringidza kwazvo murume muduku akatiza mwana wake. “Ndinotya kuti [ndakavhiringidza] upenyu hwake zvachose,” anodaro mumwe baba asina kuchata.—Teenage Fathers.

Chinetso Chokutsigira

Havasi vanababa vechiduku vose vanotiza. Vamwe varume vechiduku vanonzwa nenzira yakakodzera vaine mutoro wetsika kuvana vavo uye vanoda zvechokwadi kubatsira mukurerwa kwavo. Zvisinei, kakawanda izvi zviri nyore kungotaurwa pane kuitwa. Kutanga, baba vasina kuchata vangava nekodzero dzapamutemo shoma, zvichibvumira musikana uye vabereki vake kudzora kuti kakawanda sei—kana kuti kashoma sei—kaangaonana nomwana wake. “Kukwikwidzana kunoramba kuripo kwokutsvaka kuti ndiani achava nekodzero yokuudza mwana wacho zvokuita,” anodaro Jim, ane mashoko ataurwa pakutanga. Naizvozvo zvisarudzo zvinogona kuitwa izvo baba vechiduku vanogona kuramba zvakasimba, zvakadai sokuita kuti mwana arerwe navamwe vanhu—kana kunyange kubvisa pamuviri.c “Zvakaoma kwandiri kuvarega vachimuendesa kune mumwe munhu wandisingazivi,” anodaro mumwe baba wechiduku, “asi ndinofunga kuti handina chimwe chokusarudza.”

Vamwe varume vechiduku vanoti vanoda kuroora amai vomwana wavo.d Ichokwadi kuti, kuroorana kunogona kuita kuti musikana wacho asanyara uye kuti mwana wacho arerwe navabereki vaviri. Zvinotogona kuti pasinei zvapo nomufambiro wavo usina kunaka, vaviri vacho vechiduku vari kudanana zvechokwadi. Zvisinei, chokwadi chokuti mukomana ave kugona kubereka hachimborevi kuti akura mupfungwa nemafungiro zvinodiwa kuti ave murume uye baba. Uye hazvirevi kuti ane mano okugona kuchengeta mudzimai nemwana nemari. Kunzvera kunoratidza kuti kuroorana kunokurumidziswa nepamuviri kunowanzova kwenguva pfupi. Saka kumhanyirira kuroora nguva dzose hakusiriko kupedza chinetso kwokuchenjera.

Varume vechiduku vakawanda vanoti vanoda kutsigira vana vavo nemari. Sezvadudzwa pakutanga, zvinoda kutsunga chaiko kuna baba vechiduku kuramba vachitsigira zvakadaro kwenguva yakareba—zvichida kwemakore 18 kana kuti kupfuura! Asi rubatsiro runoramba ruchipiwa runogona kuita kuti amai nomwana vasararame upenyu hwourombo.

Zvakadini nokubatsirana kurera mwana chaiko? Izvi zvekare zvinogona kuva chimwe chinetso chakaoma. Dzimwe nguva vabereki vevana vacho vanotya kuti vangaitazve zvepabonde saka vanoedza kusakurudzira—kana kunyange kurambidza—vaviri vacho kuonana. Musikana wacho pachake angasarudza kuti haadi kuti mwana wake “ade” munhu asiri murume wake. Zvisinei hazvo, kana baba vacho vakabvumirwa kuramba vachionana nomwana wavo, mhuri dzinofanira kuita kuti kushanya kwacho kuitwe paine mumwe munhu, kuitira kudzivisa mumwe mufambiro usina kunaka.

Vachida kuva pedyo nevana vavo, vamwe vanababa vasina kuchata vakadzidza kuita mamwe mabasa anoitwa nomubereki anokosha, akaita sokugezesa, kupa zvokudya, kana kuravira vana vavo. Murume wechiduku akasvika pakunzwisisa zvinodiwa naMwari zviri muBhaibheri angatoedza kudzidzisa mwana wake zvimwe zvinodiwa naMwari zviri muShoko rake. (VaEfeso 6:4) Asi nepo zvisingarambiki kuti kutarisira kwakati kworudo kwababa kuri nani kumwana pane kushaikwa zvachose, hazvizombofanani nokuva nababa vanogara varipo mazuva ose. Uye kana amai vomwana wacho vakaroorwa, baba vechiduku vangatofanira kungotarisa sezvo mumwe murume anotora basa rokurera mwana wavo.

Saka, zvakajeka kuti kubereka mwana kunze kwomuchato kunotungamirira kunhamo dzakawanda—kuvabereki vacho nomwana wacho. Kunze kwezvinonetsa zvinosanganwa nazvo, pane ngozi yokurasikirwa nenyasha dzaJehovha Mwari, anoshora kuita zvepabonde zviri kunze kwomutemo. (1 VaTesaronika 4:3) Kunyange zvingagoneka kuita nepaunogona napo kuti mamiriro ezvinhu akashata asaitika sepamuviri panoitwa nevachiri kuyaruka, zvinofanira kujeka kuti nzira yakanaka ndeyokudzivisa kubatanidzwa mumufambiro wounzenza pakutanga. Mumwe baba wechiduku anobvuma kuti: “Ukangoerekana wabereka mwana usina kuchata, upenyu hwako huchachinja zvikuru.” Zvechokwadi, baba vechiduku vangatofanira kurarama nemigumisiro yechikanganiso chavo kwoupenyu hwavo hwose. (VaGaratiya 6:8) Zvekare zano reBhaibheri rakaratidza kuva rokuchenjera parinoti: “Tizai ufeve.”—1 VaKorinde 6:18.

[Mashoko Omuzasi]

[Mufananidzo uri papeji 23]

Zvakanaka kwazvo kurega mufambiro wounzenza pakutanga