Uduku Pahunogurisirwa Panzira
DENGA rakakwidibira, ndege ine injini imwe chete yakadzvova sezvo ndege duku iyi yakatanga kuwedzera kumhanya ichibva yabhururuka ichisimuka pasi. Chakanga chiri chiitiko chakafadza vatori venhau, vakatora nhau, vachitora mifananidzo, uye vatori venhau vachibvunza mibvunzo yokuratidza kuyemura uye vachipfachuka nemashoko okurumbidza. Ndiani aiyemurwa nevanhu vose ava? Akanga asiri mutyairi ane rezinesi chete ari mundege yacho uye kwete munhu mumwe bedzi akanga akatakurwa nendege iyi—mumwe murume—asi mwanasikana womurume iyeye akanga ari mundege. Aiva nemakore manomwe.
Kasikana kacho kaifanira kubhururutsa ndege. Kakanga kachida kuva mutyairi muduku wokutanga kubhururutsa ndege uye kusvika paifanira kusvikwa nenguva chaiyo. Vatori venhau vaizove vakakamirira payainomhara. Saka pasinei nokuti kunze kwakanga kwakakwidibira, vatatu vacho vakakwira ndege, mwana akagara pakusheni kuitira kuti agone kuona paiva nezvokutyairisa ndokushandisa zvimwe zvaimugonesa kutsika zvipadza zvepasi.
Zvinosiririsa kuti ndege yacho yakangobhururuka nguva pfupi pfupi. Yatarisana nedutu rakangoerekana ravapo, ndege yacho yakarasika gwara, uye yakabva yadzima, ndokuparara, ichiuraya vanhu vose vatatu vayakanga yakatakura. Vatori venhau ndivo vakakurumidza kuzivisa kwose kwose nezvenjodzi panzvimbo pokurumbidza. Vatori venhau nevanyori vadzo vashomanana vakasara vane mubvunzo kuti vatori venhau vakanga vasina kubatsirawo here kuti tsaona iyi iitike. Vanhu vakawanda vakatanga kutaura kuti hapana mwana anofanira kubhururutsa ndege. MuUnited States, mitemo yakadzikwa kubvira ipapo. Asi kunze kwokutsutsumwa pamusoro pezvakaitika uye inoratidzika senzira iri nyore yokuzvigadzirisa nayo yakataurwa, kwakasiyiwa zvimwe zvinhu zvinotokosha.
Tsekwende iyoyo yakaita kuti vamwe vanhu vafungisise pamusoro pezviri kuwanzoitika munguva yedu. Nhasi vana havasi kupiwa nguva yokurarama sevana, vanokurumidza kupiwa mabasa evakuru vachiri nezera duku zvikuru. Ichokwadi kuti ngozi yacho haiwanzooneki pakarepo kana kuti kuva dambudziko guru kudaro. Asi inogona kuva yakakomba uye inokanganisa kwenguva refu. Ngationei zvimwe zvishomanana zvinoparira kuti uduku hugurisirwe panzira.
Kukurumidza Kudzidza Zvakawanda
Zvinonzwisisika kuti vabereki vanoda chaizvo kuona vana vavo vachibudirira. Asi chido ichi chikazochinja kuva kufunganya, vabereki vanogona kuremedza vana vavo, vachivawanzira basa vachiri vaduku. Zvinowanzotanga nevavariro yakanaka. Somuenzaniso, zviri kuwedzera kukurumbira kuona vabereki vachiendesa vana vavo kunodzidziswa zvimwewo vabva kuchikoro, kubvira mune zvemitambo kusvika kuzvidzidzo zvemimhanzi kana kuti kutamba. Kakawanda kacho, panowedzerwa mumwe mudzidzisi.
Chokwadi hazvina kuipa kusimudzira zvipo zvomwana kana zvaanofarira. Asi pane ngozi here yokunyanyisa? Zviri pachena kuti iripo nokuti vamwe vana vanoratidzika sevakangobatikanawo sevanhu vakuru vakawandirwa nezvokuita. Magazini inonzi Time inoti: “Vana vaimbotamba panguva youduku iye zvino vava kuita zvemakosi; vana vanofanira kufamba vakasununguka vachishandisa simba ravo rouduku iye zvino vava kufamba nechinangwa chikuru chokushanda senyuchi.”
Vamwe vabereki vanofunga kuti vana vavo vaduku vangatanga mabasa akadai sokumhanya, zvemimhanzi, kana kuti okuva vatambi vemafirimu vaduku. Vana vavo vasati vaberekwa, vabereki vanenge vatovanyoresa kukireshi, vaine tarisiro yokuti zvichabatsira kuti vabudirire. Uyezve, vamwe vanaamai vanoenda ku“mayunivhesiti evane mimba” ayo anodzidzisa mimhanzi kuvana vanenge vachiri mudumbu. Vavariro yacho ndeyokuita kuti uropi hwavo huri kukura hutange kushanda.
Mune dzimwe nyika vana vanoedzwa unyanzvi hwokuverenga uye hwemasvomhu vasati vasvitsa makore matanhatu. Miitiro yakadaro yakaita kuti pave nokutyira kana zvisingakuvadzi pfungwa. Somuenzaniso, chii chinoitika kumwana “anofoira” kukireshi? David Elkind, munyori webhuku rinonzi The Hurried Child, anotaura kuti zvikoro zvine tsika yokukurumidzisa kuti havagoni kana kuti vanogona vachiri vaduku kwazvo. Vanoita kudaro, anodaro Elkind, kuti vasazvipa basa rakawanda kwete nezvikonzero zvokuda kudzidzisa vana zvinobudirira.
Pane zvazvinokanganisa here kumanikidza vana kuti vave vanhu vakura chaivo ivo vachiri vaduku, nguva yavo isati yakwana? Elkind anoshushikana nenzira iyo nzanga yatora nayo pfungwa yokuita kuti vana vaite zvinhu zvinorema zvinoitwa nevakuru. Anoti: “Zvinoratidza muitiro wedu wokugamuchira kufunganya kuri kuramba kuchiwedzera kune vaduku vedu vanhasi se‘zvinhu zvakanaka.’” Zvechokwadi, pfungwa yezvakakodzera vana iri kuita seiri kukurumidza kuchinja.
Kumhanyira Kukunda
Vabereki vakawanda vanofunga kuti zvakakodzera, kunyange kutozvikurudzira, kudzidzisa vana vavo kuti kukunda ndicho chinhu chinokosha pane zvose—zvikurukuru mumitambo. Menduru dzemitambo dzinokurudzira vana vakawanda nhasi. Kuitira kuti vawane mbiri yenguva shomanana yokukunda uye kurarama upenyu hwakanaka vakura, vamwe vana vanomanikidzwa kumhanyira mberi kana kuti kunyange kusatombova nenguva yokuita sevana.
Funga nezvevanhukadzi vanorovedza muviri. Vanotanga vari vaduku zvikuru vachitevedzera purogiramu yakaoma inoomesera kwazvo miviri yavo miduku. Vanopedza makore akawanda vachigadzirira mupfungwa nomumuviri makwikwi eOlympic. Zvechokwadi, vashomanana ndivo vachakunda. Vaya vachakundikana vachafunga here kuti mugumisiro wacho unoenderana nezvavakaita muuduku hwavo? Nokufamba kwenguva, kunyange vanenge vakunda vangasava nechokwadi kana kukunda kwavo kuchienderana nezvavakaita.
Mupfungwa, vasikana vaduku ava vangashaya mukana wokubatwa sevana nechido chakasimba chokuva magamba emitambo. Asi kukura kwemiviri yavo kwomuzvarirwo kungakanganiswa nokurovedza kunonetesa kwakadaro. Kuvamwe, kukura kwemapfupa kunokanganisika. Zvirwere zvokudya zvinowanzomuka. Muzviitiko zvinoverengeka, munhu anononoka kusvika pakukwanisa kubereka—kunyange kwemakore akawanda. Zvisinei, vasikana vakawanda nhasi vanotarisana nechinetso chakapesana: kukurumidza kusvika pakukwanisa kubereka.—Ona bhokisi riri pamusoro apa.
Vana Vane Zvose Kunze Kwouduku
Kudai waizodavira vanobudisa mashoko anovaraidza, ungafunga kuti kuva nouduku hwakanaka zvinoreva kuva nezvinhu zvose zvomutambarakede. Vamwe vabereki vanoshanda zvakaoma kwazvo kuti vape vana vavo zvinhu zvose zvokunyama, kusanganisira musha woumbozha, varaidzo isingadzorwi, uye zvipfeko zvinodhura.
Asi, vana vakawanda vanorerwa nenzira iyoyo vanonwa doro, vanoshandisa zvinodhaka, uye vane unhu hwokupandukira, hwehasha. Nei? Vakawanda vanogara vakatsamwa pamusana pokunzwa vachiregeredzwa. Vana vanoda vabereki vanovaratidza rudo nokuvatarisira. Vabereki vakanyanya kubatikana kuti vaite izvozvo vangafunga kuti vari kushandira kufadza vana vavo—asi vangave vachiita zvakatopesana.
Dr. Judith Paphazy anorondedzera “vabereki vanoshanda vose, vane mari,” uye vanotaura kuti kazhinji “vanojaidza vana vavo nokuti vasingazvioni vanoziva kuti kutsvaka kwavo zvinhu zvenyama vanokuita vachikanganisa mhuri.” Sokuona kwake vabereki vakadaro vanoedza “kuzvisunungura pakuva vabereki.”
Vana ndivo vanowanzoguma nokutambura. Kunyange zvazvo vangave nezvinhu zvakawanda zvomutambarakede, vanoshayiwa zvinhu zvinokosha kwazvo kuti vave nouduku hwakanaka: kuwana nguva yevabereki uye rudo. Vasina nhungamiro, vasina chirango uye gwara, vanosangana nemibvunzo yechikuru vachiri vaduku, yavanenge vasina kugadzirira kana kuti vachingoziva zvishomanene nezvayo. ‘Ndinofanira kushandisa zvinodhaka here? Ndingarara nomumwe munhu here? Ndinofanira kurwa here kana ndatsamwa?’ Zvimwe vachawana mhinduro dzavowo, vachidziwana kuvezera ravo kana kuTV kana kuvatambi vomumafirimu. Migumisiro yacho inowanzoita kuti uduku hungoerekana hwaguma, kunyange zvine ngozi.
Mwana Paanomanikidzwa Kutora Nzvimbo Yomumwe “Mukuru”
Mhuri ine vabereki vaviri painongoerekana yava mhuri ine mubereki mumwe chete, zvichida norufu, nokuparadzana, kana kuti nokurambana, vana vanowanzotambura mupfungwa. Zvechokwadi, vabereki vakawanda vari mumhuri dzine mubereki mumwe vanobudirira. Asi mudzimwe mhuri, vana havana nguva yokubatwa sevana.
Zvinonzwisisika kuti mubereki kana asara oga angatambura nokusurukirwa padzimwe nguva. Kunyange zvakadaro, somugumisiro, vamwe vanobvumira mwana—zvikurukuru dangwe—kutora nzvimbo yomumwe “wavo asipo” mumhuri. Mubereki wacho angataurira mwanakomana muduku kana mwanasikana zvakavanzika, zvimwe nemhaka yokupererwa nemazano, achiremedza mwana wacho nezvinetso izvo mwana asati agadzirira kutakura. Mupfungwa, vamwe vabereki vari voga vanobva vanyanya kutsamira pamwana.
Vamwe vabereki vanosiya nemitoro yavo zvachose, vachimanikidza mwana kutora nzvimbo yomunhu mukuru mumhuri yacho. Carmen nomukoma wake, vambotaurwa, vakatiza mamiriro akadaro ezvinhu pavakaenda kunogara mumugwagwa. Vachiri vanawo pachavo, vakanga vatopiwa basa rokurera vanin’ina vavo. Mutoro wacho wairema kwazvo zvokuti vakanga vasingakwanisi kuutakura.
Pasina mubvunzo, kubata vana sevanhu vakuru kune ngozi, kunofanira kuregwa kana zvichibvira. Asi kune mashoko akanaka: Vakuru vanogona kutora matanho anobatsira kuti vave nechokwadi chokuti vana vavo vanonakidzwa nemakore avo ouduku. Matanho api iwaya? Ngationgororei dzimwe mhinduro dzakaedzwa kwenguva refu.
[Bhokisi riri papeji 16]
Dambudziko Rokukurumidzisa Kuyaruka
Vasikana vari kuyaruka vachiri vaduku here nhasi? Kumasayendisiti, mubvunzo wacho uchiri kuitiranwa gakava. Vamwe vanoti pakati pezana remakore rechi19, avhareji yezera rokutanga kuyaruka pavasikana yaiva makore 17, nepo nhasi iri pasi pemakore 13. Maererano nokuongorora kwakaitwa vasikana 17 000 muna 1997, vasikana vechirungu vanosvika 15 muzana uye 50 muzana vechitema vokuAmerica muUnited States vanokurumidza kuratidza zviratidzo zvokuyaruka pazera remakore masere! Zvisinei, vamwe vanachiremba vanopokana nokuongorora uku uye vanoyambira vabereki kuti vasaone kukurumidza kuyaruka sekwo“muzvarirwo.”
Pasinei negakava racho, mamiriro ezvinhu aya anoomesera vabereki nevana. Magazini yeTime inoti: “Chinotonyanya kunetsa kudarika kuchinja kwomuviri ipfungwa dzingangovapo nemhaka yokukurumidzisa kuyaruka kwevana vanenge vachifanira zvavo kuverenga ngano, kwete kuzvidzivirira pavarume vanoita semapere vanenge vachida kuvachinya. . . . Kunyange zvakadaro uduku hune nguva yakapfupika zvikuru.” Nyaya yacho inobvunza mubvunzo uyu wakaoma: “Kana miviri yevasikana vaduku ichivaita kuti vataridzike sevakuru mwoyo yavo nepfungwa zvisati zvagadzirira izvozvo, chii chicharasika?”
Kazhinji, chinorasika rucheno rwetsika—nokushandiswa nevarume vanorara navo. Vamwe amai vanotaura zvakajeka kuti: “Vasikana vanoratidzika sevakura zvikuru kupfuura zera ravo vanoita souchi [kunyuchi]. Vanokwezva vakomana vakuru.” Kumanikidzwa kurara nomurume munhu achiri muduku kunovhiringidza zvikuru. Musikana muduku anogona kurasikirwa nokuzviremekedza kwake, hana yakachena, uye kunyange utano hwakanaka hwomuviri nohwepfungwa.
[Mufananidzo uri papeji 15]
Purogiramu ine zvokuita zvakawandisa ingakonzera zvinetso
[Mufananidzo uri papeji 17]
Kumanikidzira vana kuti vave nyanzvi dzemakwikwi kunogona kukanganisa kunakidzwa kunowanika mumitambo
[Mufananidzo uri papeji 17]
Zvinhu zvenyama hazvitsivi kuva mubereki akanaka