Kudheerera—Zvimwe Zvinokukonzera uye Migumisiro

CHII chinokonzera kuti mwana atange kudheerera vamwe? Kana wakambonetswa nomunhu anodheerera, zvimwe ungafunga kuti, “handina basa nokuti kunokonzerwa nei! Hapana chikonzero chokuti munhu ave nounhu hwakadaro.” Uye ungadaro uri kutaura chokwadi. Asi pane musiyano mukuru pakati pokunzwisisa chikonzero nokupembedza unhu hwakadaro. Zvikonzero zvinoita kuti mwana ave anodheerera vamwe hazvipembedzi unhu hwakaipa, asi zvingatibatsira kunzwisisa unhu hwacho. Uye kunzwisisa kwakadaro kunogona kubatsira chaizvo. Sei?

Chirevo chekare chinoti: “Kungwara kwomunhu kunodzora kutsamwa kwake.” (Zvirevo 19:11) Kutsamwa pamusana pounhu hwomunhu anodheerera kunogona kukanganisa mafungiro edu, kutizadza nokuora mwoyo uye kunyange kuvenga. Asi kunzwisisa unhu hwake kungabatsira kuderedza kutsamwa kwedu. Izvozvo zvingazoita kuti tione zvakanyatsojeka patinenge tichitsvaka nzira dzokugadzirisa chinetso chacho. Saka ngationei zvimwe zvinhu zvinokonzera unhu uhwu husingadiwi.

Kudheerera Kunokonzerwa Nei?

Kakawanda kacho makore ouduku omunhu anodheerera vamwe anenge akavhiringidzwa nokushayiwa muenzaniso wakanaka kubva kuvabereki kana kuti nokuregeredzwa zvachose. Vanhu vanodheerera vamwe vakawanda vanobva mumisha ine vabereki vasina ushamwari, kana kuti vasingafari nevana, kana kuti chaizvoizvo vanenge vakadzidzisa vana vavo kushandisa hasha nechisimba kugadzirisa zvinetso. Vana vakarerwa mumamiriro ezvinhu akadaro vangasaona kutuka kwavo nechisimba sokudheerera; vangatofunga kuti unhu hwavo ndehwomuzvarirwo uye hunogamuchirwa.

Mumwe musikana ane makore 16 uyo aidheererwa pamusha nababa vake vokurera uye kuchikoro nevamwe vake vaaidzidza navo akatangawo kudheerera vamwe ava mugiredhi rechinomwe. Anobvuma kuti: “Chakanyanya kuti ndidaro ihasha dzakanga dzava mandiri; ndaingojinyura chero munhu upi noupi uye ndisina basa nokuti ndiani. Kunzwa marwadzo kunovhiringidza zvikuru. Wangonzwa marwadzo acho, unenge woda kuti vamwewo varwadziwe.” Kunyange zvazvo kuita zvechisimba kwakadaro kusina kunyanya kuvasikana vanodheerera vamwe, asi hasha dzacho ndidzo dzimwe.a

Zvikoro zvakawanda zvinotora nhamba yakakura yevadzidzi vanobva mumamiriro ezvinhu akasiyana-siyana, vanenge varerwa nenzira dzakawanda dzakasiyana-siyana. Zvinosuwisa kuti vamwe vana vane chisimba nokuti vakadzidziswa kumba kwavo kuti kutyisidzira vamwe uye kuvatuka ndiyo nzira yakanaka yokuti vawane zvavanoda.

Sezvineiwo, miitiro yakadaro inowanzoita seinoshanda. Shelley Hymel, mutungamiriri wedzidzo paUniversity of British Columbia, kuCanada, ave achidzidza unhu hwevana kwemakumi maviri emakore. Anoti: “Tine vana vari kuedza kuona mawaniro avangaita zvavanoda uye sezvineiwo, kudheerera kunoshanda. Vanowana zvavanoda—vanowana simba, chinzvimbo uye kuzivikanwa.”

Chimwe chinoita kuti kudheerera kurambe kuripo kushayikwa kwoutungamiriri. Vanodheererwa vakawanda vanonzwa sokuti hapana angavabatsira—uye chinorwadza ndechokuti zvechokwadiwo muzviitiko zvakawanda panenge pasina. Debra Pepler, mutungamiriri weLaMarsh Centre for Research on Violence and Conflict Resolution paYork University, muToronto, akanyatsocherechedza vadzidzi vanenge vari pachikoro uye akawana kuti vadzidzisi vanokwanisa kuona uye kumisa zviito zvokudheerera zvinenge zvina bedzi muzana.

Kunyange zvakadaro, Dr. Pepler anodavira kuti kudzivisa zviito zvacho kunokosha. Anoti: “Vana havagoni kugadzirisa chinetso chacho nokuti chinenge chiri chokutsvaka simba, uye nguva yose mwana paanodheerera mumwe, simba rake rinowedzera.”

Saka nei zviitiko zvakawanda zvokudheerera zvisingataurwi? Nokuti vanodheererwa vacho vanonyatsoziva kuti vakataura nezvechinetso chacho, chichatowedzera. Saka, neimwe nzira vechiduku vakawanda vanopedza makore avo okuchikoro vachishushikana uye kunzwa kusachengeteka zvechigarire. Mararamiro akadaro anozoguma nei?

Kukanganisa Kwazvinoita Muviri Nepfungwa

Mamwe mashoko anobva kuNational Association of School Psychologists muUnited States anotaura kuti zuva nezuva vana vanodarika 160 000 vanorovha chikoro nokuti vanotya vanovadheerera. Vanoshushwa vangarega kutaura zvechikoro kana nezveimwe kirasi kana mutambo wakati unoitwa pachikoro. Vangaedza kunonoka kuenda kuchikoro zuva roga roga kana kusapinda zvimwe zvidzidzo kana kutokumbira kurega chikoro zvachose.

Vana vanenge vachidheererwa vangazivikanwa sei? Chokwadi, vangachinja-chinja unhu, vangakurumidza kutsamwa, kuora mwoyo, kana kuratidza kuti vakaneta uye kuva zindoga. Vangaitira vanhu vokumba kwavo hasha kana vezera ravo uye shamwari. Vanhu vasina mhaka vanocherechedza zviito zvevanhu vanodheereera vamwe vanganetsekawo nazvo. Mamiriro acho ezvinhu angaita kuti vanzwe kakutya, izvo zvinokanganisa mano avo okudzidza.

Zvisinei, magazini inonzi Pediatrics in Review inoti: “Chinhu chakaipisisa chinoguma chaitika kune vanodheererwa pamwe nokune vamwewo, chisimba, kusanganisira kuzviuraya uye kuponda. Pfungwa yokunzwa kusava nesimba inova nevana vanodheererwa inogonawo kunge yakasimba kwazvo zvokuti vamwe vanodzorera nezviito zvinovakuvadza kana kuuraya.”

Dr. Ed Adlaf, mumwe musayendisiti wokutsvakurudza uye purofesa wezvidzidzo zvokubatsira vanhu paUniversity yeToronto, anoratidza kunetsekana achiti “vaya vanodheerera vamwe nevavanodheerera vacho zvingangoita kuti vave nezvinetso zvepfungwa zvino uye munguva yemberi.” Munguva yechikoro gore ra2001, vadzidzi vanodarika 225 000 vokuOntario vakaongororwa, uye anenge mumwe chete wavo pavatatu kana vana voga voga, aidheerera vamwe kana kuti aidheererwa. Muboka rimwe chete iroro, mumwe chete pagumi akanga ambofunga chaizvo kuzviuraya.

Kuramba achingodheererwa kungaita kuti munhu arasikirwe nokuzviremekedza, kungakonzera zvinetso zvoutano zvakakomba, uye kungatokanganisa basa romumwe munhu. Vanhu vanodheererwa vangatemwa nomusoro, vangashaya hope, vangafunganya, uye kuora mwoyo. Vamwe vangava nechirwere chinokonzerwa nokunetseka kunokonzerwa nokufunga zvakaitika. Nepo kurohwa kungaita kuti vakawanda vanzwire tsitsi nokutsigira ari kutambudzwa, kutambudzwa nemashoko kungasaita kuti vanhu vabatsire zvakadaro. Kukuvadza kwazvinoita hakunyatsooneki. Saka pane kunyaradza, shamwari nemhuri vanganeta nokunzwa mashoko okugunun’una omunhu anodheererwa.

Kudheerera kunokanganisawo vanodheerera vacho. Kana vakasamiswa vachiri vaduku, zvimwe vangakura vozodheerera vamwe kubasa. Kutaura zvazviri, dzimwe ongororo dzinoratidza kuti vaya vaimbodheerera vari vana unhu hwavo hwakaramba huripo kusvika vava vanhu vakuru. Vaivawo nomukana mukuru wokupara mhosva kudarika vaya vaisadheerera vamwe.

Zvakunoita Mumhuri

Kudheerera vamwe kubasa kunokanganisa kugadzikana uye rugare rwemhuri. Kunogona kuita kuti anodheerera wacho angonzwa achida kunetsa mumwe munhu, kurwadzisa vadiwa vake pamba. Uyezve, kunogona kuita kuti mumwe wevakaroorana kana kuti nhengo yemhuri irwise ari kudheerera wacho senzira yokutsigira ari kudheererwa. Ukuwo, mumwe wevakaroorana angapomera mumwe wake anodheererwa kuti ndiye ari kuparira chinetso chacho. Zviitiko zvakadaro zvokudheerera pazvinoregwa zvichingoenderera zvisingagadziriswi, kunyange vakaroorana vanotsigirana vanozosvika pakutadza kushivirira. Makore sezvaanopfuura, mhuri yacho ingangoparara.

Mune zvimwe zviitiko kudheerera kunoita kuti munhu arasikirwe nebasa uye chokurarama nacho, kuparadzana uye kurambana, kana kunyange kutozviuraya. Vanhu vari pakati pehafu nezvidimbu zviviri muzvitatu vokuAustralia vaidheererwa kubasa vakataura nezvokukanganisika kwakaita ukama hwavo hwepedyo, nevavaigara navo, vavakaroorana navo, kana nemhuri.

Kudheerera Kunodhura

Kudheerera vamwe kunoitwa pabasa kunodhurirawo vashandirwi. Munhu anodheerera pabasa anogona kunge ari mukuru webasa anobudisa mashoko ane uturu kana mumwe mushandi anorongera mumwe wake zvakaipa uye anogona kuva mukadzi kana murume. Vakadaro vanodzora zvokudarikidza, vanotungamirira zvose zvose, uye vanoderedza vamwe nemashoko asingakurudziri nokuramba vachivatsoropodza, kazhinji nokunyadzisa wavanodheerera pamberi pevamwe. Vanhu vanodheerera vamwe havawanzooni kusaremekedza kwavo kana kukumbira ruregerero nokuda kwounhu hwavo. Vanowanzodheerera vashandi vanogona basa, vakavimbika, uye vanodiwa kwazvo nevamwe vavanoshanda navo.

Vashandi vanodheererwa havanyatsoshandi zvakanaka. Basa rinoitwa nevamwe vashandi vanoona kudheerera kwacho rinokanganisikawo. Kushusha kunogona kuita kuti vashandi vanzwe vakavimbika zvishoma kune vavanoshandira uye vasingazvipi zvizere kubasa ravo. Mumwe mushumo unotaura kuti vanhu vanodheerera vamwe vanoita kuti maindasitiri arasikirwe nemari inofungidzirwa kuti ingasvika mabhiriyoni matatu emadhora gore roga roga muUnited Kingdom. Uye zvinonzi maitiro akadaro ndiwo anokonzera zvirwere zvinodarika 30 muzana zvine chokuita nokuora mwoyo.

Zviri pachena kuti kudheerera vamwe kunokanganisa nzanga kwazvo munyika yose. Mubvunzo ndewokuti, pane chinogona kuitwa here kudzora chinetso chacho uye kuchibvisa?

[Mashoko Omuzasi]

[Mufananidzo uri papeji 15]

Kudheerera pabasa kunowanzoitika zvikuru

[Mufananidzo uri papeji 15]

Vanogara vachidheererwa vanogona kuora mwoyo uye kusurukirwa