Ganhuro 29
Ndagadzirira Kuronga Misi Yokuvhakacha Here?
MUNYIKA zhinji kuronga misi yokuvhakacha kunorangarirwa somutoo wevaraidzo yorudo, mubato unofadza. Nokudaro kuronga misi yokuvhakacha kunotora zvimiro zvizhinji. Kuna vamwe, kuronga misi yokuvhakacha inhau yomuitiro, inorongwa—maruva, zvokudya zvakanaka, uye kutsvodana kwokuonekana kwousiku zvose rutivi rwendaza yezvinoitwa. Kuna vamwe, kuronga misi yokuvhakacha kunongoreva bedzi kupedza nguva yakati kuti uri pamwe chete nomumwe munhu waunoda womutezo wakasiana. Kunotova navaviri vaviri vanowanzoonwa vari pamwe chete asi vanongotaura havo kuva ‘shamwari bedzi.’ Eya, kunyange uchikuidza kuti kuronga misi yokuvhakacha, kufamba pamwe chete, kana kuti kungoonana bedzi, kunowanzoparira chinhu chimwe chete: mukomana nomusikana vanopedza nguva yakawanda vari pamwe chete vachivaraidzana, kazhinji kazhinji vasingatarisirwi.
Kuronga misi yokuvhakacha kwakanga kusati kuri muitiro munguva dzeBhaibheri. Hunyanguvezvo, pakunoitwa nomutoo wokuchenjera, nomutoo wokungwarira, uye nomutoo unoremekedzeka, kuronga misi yokuvhakacha inzira yakakodzera yokuti vanhu vaviri vazivane. Uye, hungu, kunogona kuva kunofarikanyika. Asika ikoku kunoreva here kuti iwe unofanira kuronga misi yokuvhakacha?
Dzvinyiriro Yokuronga Misi Yokuvhakacha
Ungasanonzwa hako uchidzvinyirirwa kuronga misi yokuvhakacha. Vazhinjisa vavezera rako zvimwe vanoronga misi yokuvhakacha, uye mumuzvarirwo iwe hauzati uchida kuratidzika kuva wechienzi kana akasiana. Dzvinyiriro yokuronga misi yokuvhakacha ingabvawo kushamwari dzine vavariro dzakanaka nehama dzokunyama. Apo Mary Ann wezera ramakore 15 akakumbirwa kuenda parangano yokuvhakacha, hama yake yakamupangira, kuti: “Kunyange uchida kuzoroorwa nomukomanayo kana kwete hakuna chokuita nakwo. Kuronga misi yokuvhakacha kunongova hakwo rutivi rwokukura kwako kwomuzvarirwo somunhu. . . . Kunze kwezvo, kana uchigaroramba vakomana uchava asingadiwi uye hakuna uchakukumbira kuvhakacha.” Mary Ann anoyeuka, kuti: “Mashoko ehama akanyura zvikuru mumwoyo. Ndingave ndichizvirashira ndimene nokuda kwebanza rakanaka here? Mukomana wacho akanga ane motokari yake amene, mari zhinji; uye ndaiziva hangu kuti aizondiratidzira nguva yakanaka. Ndinofanira kuronga musi wokundovhakacha naye here kana kuti kwete?”
Kune dzimwe pwere dzvinyiriro inobva muzvishuvo zvadzo dzimene nokuda kwoushamwari nechidakadaka. “Ndaida kudiwa nokuongwa,” akatsanangura kudaro Ann wezera ramakore 18. “Sezvandakanga ndisiri pedyo navabereki vangu, ndakatendeukira kumukomana wangu kuti ndiwane kuswederana pedyo nokuva nomumwe munhu wandingadururira kunzwa kwangu uyo aizondinzwisisa zvomenemene.”
Hunyanguvezvo, wechiduku haazati achifanira kuronga misi yokuvhakacha nemhaka bedzi yokuti iye anonzwa achidzvinyirirwa kuita kudaro! Kutanga, kuronga misi yokuvhakacha inhau yakakomba—rutivi rwomuitiro wokusarudza mukwanyina weroorano. Roorano nhai? Sezvinobvumwa, ichochi chingava chinhu chokupedzisira pamirangariro yepwere zhinjisa dzinoronga misi yokuvhakacha. Asika zvomenemene, ipembedzoi inogona kuvapo nokuda kwavanhu vaviri vemitezo yakasiana kuti vatange kupedzera nguva zhinji vari pamwe chete pane kufeyafeya bviro yokuroorana? Pakupedzisira, kuronga misi yokuvhakacha nokuda kwechimwe chikonzero chipi nechipi kunenge kune chokwadi chokuparira chisati chiri chimwe chinhu chipi nechipi kunze kwe“zvinofadza.” Kunodaro sei?
Ngozi Dzokuronga Misi Yokuvhakacha
Kutanga, pwere dziri munhambo yokutapurika youpenyu inoidzwa neBhaibheri kuti “kuyaruka kwepwere.” (1 VaKorinte 7:36) Mukati meiyi nguva, unganzwa sundo dzine simba dzechishuvo chevatano. Hapana chinhu chakaipa naikoku; rutivi rwokukura.
Asi makuri mune chinetso chikuru pakuronga misi yokuvhakacha yavechiduku: Vechiduku vachikungovamba kudzidza madzorerwe ourwu ruchiva rwevatano. Chokwadi, ungasanoziva mitemo yaMwari pamusoro pevatano uye ungada zvapachokwadi kuramba wakachena. (Ona Ganhuro 23.) Kunyange zvakadaro, idi roupenyu pakushanda kwomuviri rinoitika: Kana iwe ukaramba uri pamwe chete nomumwe womutezo wakasiana, chishuvo chikuru chevatano chinogona kukura—kunyange uchikuda kana kuti kwete. (Ona mapeji 232-3.) Ndiwo maitirwo atakaitwa nawo isu tose! Kutozosvikira iwe wakura uye wogona zvikuru kudzora kunzwa kwako, kuronga misi yokuvhakacha kunganyanyova kwakakukurira zvokusagona kukutarisira. Sezvineiwo, pwere zhinji dzinowana ikoku nenzira yakaoma.
“Apo isu takatanga kuronga misi yokuvhakacha, . . . hatina kunyange kubatana maoko kana kuti kutsvodana. Ndaingoda bedzi kufarikanya mufaro wokuva pamwe chete naye uye kutaura,” rakadaro rimwe jaya. “Zvisinei, iye aiva nechidakadaka chikuru uye aizogara hake pedyo zvikuru neni. Mukufambira mberi kwenguva takabatana maoko ndokutsvodana. Ikoku kwakaparira mandiri ndimene sundo yakatokura zvikuru yevatano. Kwakatapura kufunga kwangu kusvikira kumugariro wokuti ndakada kuva naye, kwete bedzi kungotaura, asi kumumbundira, kumubata nokumutsvoda. Handati ndaigona kuwana zvakaringana! Ndakanga ndava kupengeswa zvomenemene noruchiva rwevatano. Padzimwe nguva ndainzwa ndiri wenhando ndichinyara.”
Hakuzati kuchishamisa, ipapoka, kuti kuronga misi yokuvhakacha kunowanzogumira muvatano isingatenderwi. Kunzverwa kwavechiduku vana mazana anoverengeka kwakawana kuti vane 87 muzana yavasikana uye vane 95 muzana yavakomana yakabvuma kuti vatano yakanga “ichikosha zvine mwero kana zvinokosha zvikuru” mukuronga misi kwavo yokuvhakacha. Zvisinei, vane 65 muzana vavasikana navane 43 muzana vavakomana vakabvuma kuti pakanga pambova nenguva pakuronga misi yokuvhakacha apo ivo vakambova nevatano kunyange zvazvo vakanga vasingaidi.
Loretta wezera ramakore 20 anoyeuka, kuti: “Zvatakaramba tichionana zvikuru, taimbundirana zvikuru. Kutsvodana kwakakurumidza kuva kunofinha uye isu takavamba kubatana mativi omuviri akavandika. Ndakakuvadzika mukunzwa kwangu nokuti ndakanzwa ndine tsvina zvikuru. Mukufambira mberi kwenguva mukomana wangu akandikarirawo ‘kuti ndibvume ndokuita ufeve’ . . . Ndakavhiringidzika ndokukangaidzika. Asi zvandaigona kufunga bedzi zvakanga zviri zvokuti, ‘Handizati ndichida kurashikirwa naye.’ Ndakanga ndine nhamo!”
Chokwadi, havazati vari vaviri vari vose vanogona kuguma nokuva nevatano; vamwe vanoita kuti ratidzirwo dzavo dzechidakadaka dzigume pamberi chaipoipo pokuva nevatano. Asika chii chinova muuyo apo munhu anonyandurwa muvatano uye asina nzira inoremekedzwa yokuratidzira nayo ruchiva rwakadaro? Vhiringidziko yakasimbisirwa. Uye vhiringidziko idzodzo hadzina kuganhurirwa kuruchiva rwevatano.
Pfungwa Dzakakuvadzika
Rangarira chinetso cherimwe jaya: ‘Kathy ndaimuda zvokufa pakutanga. Asika, ndinobvuma kuti ndakamunyengera kuita zvimwe zvinhu zvaaisafunga kuti zvakanga zvakarurama. Zvino ndinonzwa ndisina kuchena nokuti ndarashikirwa nefariro. Ndinogona seiko kuramba Kathy ndisingamukuvadzi pfungwa dzake?’ Haiwa mugariro unotambudza zvakadini! Uye waizonzwa sei kudai waiva Kathy?
Kuputsika mwoyo kwavechiduku chirwere chinozivikanwa. Chokwadi, vaviri vechiduku vanofamba vakabatana vangaratidzira mufananidzo unoyevedza. Asi chii chiri mabanza okuti vaviri vamwe chetevo vachavazve pamwe chete gore rimwe kubvira zvino, vasina kuroorana? Zvamazvirokwazvo mashomanene. Kudana kwavechiduku nokudaro kunenge kunogarova ukama hwakashurikidzwa, husingawanzogumira muroorano, kunowanzogumira mukuputsika kwomwoyo.
Kunze kwezvo, mukati mamakore okuyaruka hunhu hwako huchiri mumugariro wokuchinja. Uri kuwana kuti uri ani, zvaunoda zvomenemene, zvaunoda kuita noupenyu hwako. Mumwe munhu anokufadza nhasi angava anokufinha zvikuru mangwana. Asi apo zvishuvo zvorudo zvinenge zvabvumirwa kukura, mumwe munhu anosungirwa kukuvadzika. Nomutoo usingakatyamadzi, fundo dzinoverengeka dzokunzvera dzakabatanidza “kurwisana nomusikana” kana kuti “kuodzwa mwoyo murudo” sokuri pakati pemigariro inoparira kuzviuraya kwepwere zhinji.
Ndakagadzirira Here?
Mwari anoudza vechiduku, kuti: “Fara hako, jaya [kana mhandara], muupwere hwako, uye mwoyo wako ngaukuitire zvakanaka mumazuva oujaya hwako, uye famba munzira dzomwoyo wako nomuzvinhu zvinoonwa nameso ako.” Vechiduku vanokombamira ku“famba munzira dzomwoyo” yavo. Asi kazhinji kazhinji zvikuru “nzira” idzedzo, dzinoratidzika kuva dzinofadza zvikuru, dzinoguma nokuvigira chinetso nengwavaira. Bhaibheri nokudaro rinokurudzira mundima inotevera, kuti: “Bvisa chinetso pamwoyo wako, uye dzivisa ngwavaira panyama yako; nokuti upwere noukuru hwoupenyu hazvina maturo.” (Muparidzi 11:9, 10) “Chinetso” chinoreva kuva anotambudzika zvikurukuru kana anonetseka zvachose. “Ngwavaira” inoreva jambwa romunhu oga. Ose ari maviri anogona kuita kuti upenyu huve hunosiririsa.
Ko ikoku kunoreva here, ipapoka, kuti kuronga misi yokuvhakacha iko kumene manyuko echinetso nengwavaira? Hakuzati hakwo kwakadaro. Asi kunogona kuva kwakadaro kana munhu ukaronga misi yokuvhakacha nokuda kwechikonzero chakashata (‘nokuda kwezvinofadza’) kana iwe usati wagadzirira nokuda kwakwo! Naizvozvo, mibvunzo inotevera ingabvumikisa kuva inobetsera kuwana mugariro wako umene.
Ko kuronga misi yokuvhakacha kungabetsera here kana kungapinganidza kukura kwangu kwendangariro? Kuronga misi yokuvhakacha kunokuganhurira kuukama hwomukomana nomusikana. Hakuzati kungakubetsera here, ipapoka, kupamhamisa songaniro yako navamwe? (Enzanisa na 2 VaKorinte 6:12, 13.) Imwe mhandara inonzi Susan inoti: “Ini ndakadzidza kukudziridza ukama hwapedyo navakadzi vakura vechiKristu vomuungano. Vaida ushamwaridzani, uye ini ndaida pesvedzero yavo yakatsiga. Naizvozvo ndaishanya nokuda kwekofi. Taizotaura ndokuseka. Ini ndakaita ushamwari chaihwoihwo, hwenguva refu navo.”
Kupfurikidza nokuva namarudzi mazhinji eshamwari—vakuru navaduku, pfunda navakaroora, vanhurume navanhukadzi—unodzidza kuva akadzikama pakati pavanhu, kubatanidza naavo vomutezo wakasiana, pasina dzvinyiriro hurusa kupinda pakuronga misi yokuvhakacha. Kupfuurirazve, kupfurikidza nokusonganirana navananyakuroorana, unowana murangariro wechokwadi zvikuru weroorano. Gare gare uchava akagadzirira zviri nani zvikuru kusarudza mukwanyina akanaka ndokuita rutivi rwako umene muroorano. (Zvirevo 31:10) Nokudaro imwe pwere inonzi Gail inogumisa, kuti: “Handizati ndakagadzirira kuroorwa ndokugarisika. Ndichiri kuzviziva ini ndimene, uye ndine nharidzano zhinji dzomudzimu dzichigere kuwanwa. Naizvozvo handizati ndichidikanirwa zvomenemene kunyanyova pedyo nomunhu upi noupi womutezo wakasiana.”
Ndinoda kuparira kunzwa kwokukuvadzika here? Kwose kuri kuviri kunzwa kwako nokwokwo kwomumwe munhu kunogona kuputsanywa kana zvisungo zvorudo zvichiitwa pasina kariro yeroorano muchiono. Zvomenemene, kwakanaka here kuti ututire ngwariro yorudo pane mumwe munhu nokuda kwokuwana ruzivo rwokuzviwanira kumutezo wakasiana?—Ona Mateo 7:12.
Ko vabereki vangu vanoti kudini? Vabereki vanowanzoona ngozi dzauri bofu kwadziri. Kunze kwezvo, vaichimbova pwere. Ivo vanoziva zviri zvinetso chaizvoizvo zvinogona kumuka apo vaviri vechiduku vanopedzera nguva zhinji vari pamwe chete! Naizvozvo kana vabereki vako vakasatendera kuronga kwako misi yokuvhakacha, rega kupanduka. (VaEfeso 6:1-3) Sezvinobvira, ivo vanongonzwa bedzi kuti iwe unofanira kumirira kutozosvikira wava mukuru.
Ko ini ndichakwanisa kutevera tsika dzeBhaibheri here? Apo mumwe “anenge ava pwere yakakura,” anogona kubata zvakaringanira noruchiva rwevatano—uye kunyange panguva iyeyo hakuzati kuri nyore. Wagadzirira zvomenemene here papfundo rino muupenyu kutarisira ukama hwapedyo nomumwe munhu womutezo wakasiana ndokuita kuti hurambe hwakachena?
Nomutoo unofadza, pwere zhinji dziri kuzvibvunza dzimene iyi mibvunzo uye dzichisvika pamhedziso imwe cheteyo yakasvikwa naMary Ann (anokorwa mashoko pakuvamba-vamba). Iye akati: “Ini ndakasarudza kuti ndakanga ndisati ndichizopesvedzerwa pamusoro pokuronga misi yokuvhakacha kupfurikidza nezvimiro zvendangariro zvavamwe. Ndakanga ndisati ndichizoronga misi yokuvhakacha kutozosvikira ndakura zvakaringanira uye ndagadzirira kuroorwa uye ndawana mumwe munhu ane mavara andaida mumurume.”
Nokudaro Mary Ann anomutsa mubvunzo unokosha waunofanira kuzvibvunza iwe umene usati waronga misi yokuvhakacha.
Mibvunzo Yekurukurirano
◻ Ko kutaura kwokuti “kuronga misi yokuvhakacha” kunorevei kwauri?
◻ Neiko dzimwe pwere dzichidzvinyirirwa kuronga misi yokuvhakacha?
◻ Neiko kuronga misi yokuvhakacha kuri kusachenjera kune mumwe munhu ari mu“kuyaruka kwepwere”?
◻ Ko pwere inogona sei “kudzivisa ngwavaira” pakureva nezvekuronga misi yokuvhakacha?
◻ Ndezvipi zvimwe zvezvinetso zvinogona kumuka apo mukomana nomusikana vanongova se‘shamwari bedzi’?
◻ Unogona sei kuziva kana wagadzirira kuronga misi yokuvhakacha?
[Mashoko okukwezva vaverengi ari papeji 231]
“Kutsvodana kwakakurumidza kuva kunofinha uye isu takavamba kubatana mativi omuviri akavandika. Ndakakuvadzika mukunzwa kwangu nokuti ndakanzwa ndine tsvina zvikuru. Mukufambira mberi kwenguva mukomana wangu akandikarirawo ‘kuti ndibvume ndokuita ufeve’”
[Mashoko okukwezva vaverengi ari papeji 234]
‘Ndaigona seiko kuramba Kathy ndisingamukuvadzi pfungwa dzake’?
[Bhokisi/Mufananidzo uri papeji 232, 233]
Mukomana Nomusikana Vanogona ‘Kungova Bedzi Shamwari’ Here?
Ukama hunonzi rudo rusitongorina ruchiva rwevatano (ukama hwechidakadaka huri pakati pavarume navakadzi umo vatano isati ichipinda) hunozivikanwa kwazvo pakati pepwere. Anotaura kudaro Gregory wezera ramakore 17: “Kuri nyore zvikuru kwandiri kutaura navasikana nokuti ivo vanowanzonzwira tsitsi zvikuru uye vanotapurika zvikuru.” Dzimwe pwere dzinotaura kuti ushamwari hwakadaro hunodzibetsera kukudziridza humwe hunhu hwakakwana zvikuru.
Bhaibheri rinokurudzira majaya kubata “mhandara sehanzvadzi norucheno rwose.” (1 Timotio 5:2) Kupfurikidza nokushandisa iyi nheyo, zvamazvirokwazvo kunobvira kufarikanya ushamwari hwakachena, hunovaka pamwe chete nemitezo yakasiana. Somuenzaniso, muapostora Pauro akanga ari pfunda yaifarikanya chiverengero chakati kuti choushamwari navakadzi vechiKristu. (Ona VaRoma 16:1, 3, 6, 12.) Iye akanyora nezva“vakadzi [vaviri] vakabata pamwe chete neni mumashoko akanaka.” (VaFiripi 4:3) Jesu Kristu akafarikanyawo songanirano yakadzikama, yakachena pamwe chete navakadzi. Panhambo dzisingaverengeki, iye akafarikanya mutsa nekurukurirano dzaMarta naMaria.—Ruka 10:38, 39; Johane 11:5.
Hunyanguvezvo, ushamwari hwo“rudo rusitongorina ruchiva rwevatano” hunowanzova zvikuru kwazvo rudo rwechipameso kana nzira yokuwana nayo ngwariro kune mumwe munhu womutezo wakasiana pasina kuzvipira. Uye sezvo kunzwa kuchigona kusatana kuchinja, pane dikanwo yokungwarira. Dr. Marion Hilliard akanyevera, kuti: “Ushamwari chaihwo hunofamba anenge makiromita gumi matanhatu paawa hunogona kuchinja pasina nyevero kukuva ruchiva rwevatano runofamba makiromita ane zana namakumi matanhatu paawa.”
Mike ane zera ramakore gumi namatanhatu akaziva ikoku apo iye akaita “ushamwari” nomumwe musikana ane zera ramakore 14: “Nokukurumidza ndakawana [kuti] vanhu vaviri havagoni kungogara vari shamwari bedzi pavanoramba vachionana vari voga. Ukama hwedu hwakaramba huchikura. Nokukurumidza takava nokunzwa chaikwo nokuda kwomumwe nomumwe, uye tichiri nakwo.” Sezvo pasina akura zvakaringanira kuroora, makunzwa iwayo manyuko ekangaidziko.
Kunyanyosonganirana zvikuru kunogona kuvawo nomuuyo unosuruvarisa zvikuru. Imwe pwere yakaedza kunyaradza shamwarikadzi iyo yakamudururira mwoyo wayo pamusoro pezvimwe zvezvinetso zvayo. Isati iri nguva refu, ivo vakanga vave kumbundirana. Chii chakava muuyo? Hana dzinotambudzika nokunzwa kwakashata pakati pavo. Kuna vamwe, vatano yakava somuuyo. Kunzvera kwakaitwa nePsychology Today kwakawadzanyura, kuti: “Inenge hafu yavadavidzi (49 muzana) vakava noushamwari hwakachinjira muvatano.” Kureva idi, “chinenge chikamu chimwe chamatatu (31 muzana) chakashuma kuva chakava nevatano neshamwari mumwedzi wakapfuura.”
‘Asi ini handiyevedzwi neshamwari yangu uye handaizotongobatanidzwa murudo naye.’ Zvimwe. Asi unganzwa sei munguva yemberi? Kunze kwezvo, “iye anovimba nomwoyo wake amene ibenzi.” (Zvirevo 28:26) Mwoyo yedu inogona kuva inonyengera, inonyengedza, inotipofamadzira kuvavariro dzedu dzechokwadi. Asi iwe unoziva zvomenemene manzwire anoita shamwari yako pamusoro pako here?
Mubhuku rake rinonzi The Friendship Factor, Alan Loy McGinnis anopangira, kuti: “Usanyanyozvivimba iwe umene.” Unangwarira, zvimwe kuganhurira songaniro yako kumibato yamapoka anosanotarisirwa. Dzivisa ratidziro dzisina kukodzera dzechidakadaka kana kuva muri moga mumigariro yorudo. Paunotambudzika, dururira mwoyo wako kuvabereki navamwe vanhu vakura panzvimbo pepwere yomutezo wakasiana.
Asi zvakadiniko kana, pasinei zvapo netaviridziro, kunzwa kworudo kusingagoveranwi kukakura? “Taura zvokwadi,” uye ita kuti mumwe munhu azive zvauri. (VaEfeso 4:25) Kana kuti ikoku kusati kuchipedza zvinhu, kungava kwakanakisisa kuramba uri kure. “Wakachenjera ndiye uyo anoona ngwavaira ndokupfuurira kuzvivanza iye amene.” (Zvirevo 22:3) Kana kuti sokureva kunoita bhuku rinonzi The Friendship Factor, kuti: “Zvibvise panhamo kana kuri madikanwa. Panhambo nenhambo, pasinei hapo nokuti tinoedza zvikuru zvakadini, ushamwari nomutezo wakasiana hunopfudzunyuka muruoko uye tinoziva kuti huchaparirei.” Ipapo, inguva yo“kubva.”
[Mifananidzo iri papeji 227]
Pwere dzinowanzonzwa dzichidzvinyirirwa kuronga misi yokuvhakacha kana kufamba savaviri
[Mufananidzo uri papeji 228]
Kuronga misi yokuvhakacha kunowanzoisa pwere mudzvinyiriro yokubvumidza ratidziro dzisingadikanwi dzechidakadaka
[Mufananidzo uri papeji 229]
Munhu anogona kufarikanya kuva pamwe chete nomutezo wakasiana mumigariro isitongorina dzvinyiriro dzokuronga misi yokuvhakacha
[Mufananidzo uri papeji 230]
Ukama hunonzi rudo rusitongorina ruchiva rwevatano hunowanzoguma nokuora mwoyo