Yiba Nembono Efanelekileyo Ngomtshato Oneengxaki

“Ke abantu abatshatileyo ndiyabayala, kanti ingendim kodwa iyiNkosi.”—1 KOR. 7:10.

NGABA UNOKUCHAZA?

UThixo uwabophelela ngedyokhwe kunye ngayiphi ingqiqo amaqabane omtshato?

Abadala banokuwanceda njani amaKristu aneengxaki zomtshato?

Sifanele siwujonge njani umtshato?

1. AmaKristu awugqala njani umtshato yaye ngoba?

XA AMAKRISTU etshata, enza isifungo phambi koThixo—imbopheleleko engamele ithathwe lula. (INtshu. 5:4-6) Ngengqiqo yokuba enguMsunguli welungiselelo lomtshato, uYehova ‘ubabophelele ngedyokhwe’ abo batshatileyo. (Marko 10:9) Le dyokhwe ayitshintshi emehlweni kaThixo kungakhathaliseki ukuba umtshato wabo wawusekwe phantsi kwayiphi imithetho. Abakhonzi bakaYehova bafanele bawugqale umtshato njengeqhina enoba babengabakhonzi bakhe xa babetshata okanye kwakungenjalo.

2. Yiyiphi imibuzo eza kuxutyushwa kweli nqaku?

² Umtshato ophumelelayo unokubangela ulonwabo olungathethekiyo. Kodwa yintoni enokwenziwa xa umtshato uneengxaki? Ngaba iqhina lomtshato elibuthathaka linokomelezwa? Banokuncedwa njani abo banomtshato ongenaluxolo?

NGABA UZA KUBANGELA UVUYO OKANYE INTLIZIYO EBUHLUNGU?

3, 4. Yintoni enokwenzeka ukuba umntu akalikhethanga ngobulumko iqabane lomtshato?

³ Xa umtshato wamaKristu uphumelela, ubangela uvuyo yaye uyamzukisa uYehova. Xa usilela, ubangela intliziyo ebuhlungu. UmKristu ongatshatanga ocinga ngokutshata unokuwuqalisa kakuhle umtshato wakhe ngokulandela ulwalathiso lukaThixo. Kwelinye icala, ukungamkhethi ngobulumko umyeni okanye umfazi kunokubangela ukunganeliseki nentlungu. Ngokomzekelo, olunye ulutsha luye lwaqalisa ukuthandana lungekazilungeli iimbopheleleko ezinxulumene nobomi bomtshato. Abanye abantu babona amaqabane kwi-Intanethi baze bangene bedyuduzela kwimitshato eneengxaki ezininzi. Abanye benza isono esinzulu gqitha ngoxa bethandana ngaphambi komtshato, batshate sekunjalo, kodwa basenokuqalisa umtshato bengasahlonelani.

⁴ Amanye amaKristu akatshati “kuphela eNkosini” yaye afumana imiphumo esoloko ibuhlungu yokuhlala nomntu ongakholwayo. (1 Kor. 7:39) Ukuba nawe ukuloo meko, thandaza kuThixo ucele ukuba akuxolele aze akuncede. Akayisusi imiphumo yezono zomntu zexesha elidluleyo, kodwa uyabanceda abantu abaguqukayo ukuba bamelane nezilingo. (INdu. 130:1-4) Mkholise ngentliziyo yakho yonke ngoku nangonaphakade, yaye ‘uvuyo lukaYehova luya kuba ligwiba lakho.’—Neh. 8:10.

XA UMTSHATO UNEENGXAKI

5. Yiyiphi indlela yokucinga efanele iphetshwe xa umtshato uneengxaki?

⁵ Umntu oneengxaki kumtshato wakhe usenokuzibuza: ‘Ngaba ngokwenene ndimele ndihlale kulo mtshato wam enoba akukho lonwabo? Akwaba izinto bezinokubuyiswa umva ndize ndiqale ngokutsha nelinye iqabane lomtshato!’ Xa uphupha ngokuqhawula umtshato unokuthi, ‘ndibawela nje khe ndiphinde ndibethwe ngumoya! Ngaba andinakuwuqhawula lo mtshato? Enoba iZibhalo azindivumeli ukuba ndiqhawule umtshato, ngaba andinakukhe ndahlukane naye ndizokuphinda ndonwabe?’ Kunokuba acinge ngezo zinto okanye aphuphe ngendlela engeziyiyo izinto, amaKristu afanele alungise imeko akuyo ngokufuna ulwalathiso lukaThixo aze alulandele.

6. Khawucacise oko kwathethwa nguYesu, njengoko kuchazwe kuMateyu 19:9.

⁶ Ukuba umKristu uqhawula umtshato, usenokukhululeka okanye angakhululeki ngokweZibhalo ukuba aphinde atshate. UYesu wathi: “Nabani na oqhawula umtshato nomfazi wakhe, ngaphandle kwangesizathu sohenyuzo, aze atshate nomnye uyakrexeza.” (Mat. 19:9) Apha ‘uhenyuzo’ luquka ukukrexeza kwanezinye izono ezinzulu zokuziphatha kakubi ngokwesini. Kubalulekile ukuba uthandaze uze ucingisise ngomnqweno wokuqhawula umtshato xa kungekho qabane linetyala lokuziphatha kakubi ngokwesini.

7. Abantu ababukeleyo banokucinga ntoni xa umtshato womKristu uqhawuka?

⁷ Umtshato oqhawukileyo unokubangela ukuba ithandabuzeke imeko yomntu yokomoya. Umpostile uPawulos wabuza lo mbuzo ubalulekileyo: “Ukuba eneneni umntu woyiswa kukongamela indlu yakhe, angalinyamekela njani ibandla likaThixo?” (1 Tim. 3:5) Eneneni, xa omabini amaqabane esithi angamaKristu uze umtshato wawo uqhawuke sekunjalo, abantu ababukeleyo banokucinga ukuba athetha izinto angakwaziyo ukuzenza.—Roma 2:21-24.

8. Kudla ngokuba konakele phi xa amaKristu atshatileyo egqiba kwelokuba ahlukane?

⁸ Xa amaKristu abhaptiziweyo atshatileyo eceba ukwahlukana okanye ukuqhawula umtshato, ngaphandle kwezizathu ezingekho zibhalweni, ngokuqinisekileyo ikho into engahambi kakuhle kubumoya bawo. Kuyacaca ukuba elinye kuwo, okanye omabini, akayisebenzisi imigaqo yeZibhalo. Ukuba ngokwenene ‘ebekholose ngoYehova ngayo yonke intliziyo yawo,’ ebengenakucinga ukuba ayikho enye indlela ngaphandle kokuqhawula umtshato.—Funda iMizekeliso 3:5, 6.

9. Amanye amaKristu aye avuzwa njani ngokuba nomonde ngokuphathelele umtshato?

⁹ Imitshato emininzi ebidla ngokubonakala ngathi imele iqhawuke nakanjani na, iye yajika yaphumelela amaxesha amaninzi. AmaKristu angakhawuleziyo ukunikezela xa umtshato uneengxaki asoloko ephumelela. Cinga nje ngoko kunokwenzeka kwikhaya elahluleleneyo ngokonqulo. Umpostile uPetros wabhala wathi: “Nina bafazi, wathobeleni amadoda enu, ukuze kuthi, nokuba kukho kuwo angalithobeliyo ilizwi, azuzeke ngaphandle kwelizwi ngenxa yehambo yabafazi bawo, kuba eye angamangqina okuzibonela ehambo yenu enyulu ndawonye nentlonelo enzulu.” (1 Pet. 3:1, 2) Ngokwenene, ngenxa yehambo entle yeqabane lakhe, umntu ongakholwayo unokulwamkela unqulo lokwenyaniso! Ukuwukhusela ngolo hlobo umtshato kuyamzukisa uThixo yaye kunokuba yintsikelelo gqitha kumyeni, umfazi nakubo nabaphi na abantwana abanabo.

10, 11. Ziziphi iingxaki ezingalindelekanga ezinokuvela emtshatweni, kodwa umKristu unokuqiniseka ngantoni?

¹⁰ Enqwenela ukukholisa uYehova, amaKristu amaninzi angatshatanga akhetha ukutshata namanye amaKristu azahluleleyo. Noko ke, sekunjalo, izinto zisenokutshintsha ngokungalindelekanga. Ngokomzekelo, kwiimeko ezingafane zenzeke, elinye iqabane lisenokuba neengxaki ezinkulu zeemvakalelo. Okanye emva kokuba kutshatiwe, elinye iqabane linokuba ngumvakalisi opholileyo. Ngokomzekelo: ULinda,a umKristu nomama ozinikeleyo, waxakwa njengoko umyeni wakhe obhaptiziweyo wenza ngokuchasene nezibhalo, akaguquka waza wasuswa kubudlelane. UmKristu ufanele enze ntoni ukuba umtshato wakhe ubonakala wonakele ngendlela engenakuncedakala ngezizathu ezifana nezi?

¹¹ Usenokuzibuza: ‘Ngaba ndimele ndiqhubeke ndizama ukulondoloza umtshato wam enoba kwenzeka ntoni na?’ Akakho umntu omele akwenzele eso sigqibo. Sekunjalo, kukho izizathu ezivakalayo zokungawuncami umtshato oneengxaki. Indoda okanye ibhinqa lokomoya elinyamezela izilingo zomtshato oneengxaki ngenxa yesazela salo, lixabisekile kuThixo. (Funda eyoku-1 kaPetros 2:19, 20.) NgeLizwi nomoya wakhe, uYehova unokumnceda umKristu owenza umgudu wokomeleza umtshato wakhe oneengxaki.

BAKULUNGELE UKUKUNCEDA

12. Baya kusijonga njani abadala ukuba sicela uncedo lwabo?

¹² Ukuba uneengxaki zomtshato, funa uncedo lokomoya lwamaKristu aqolileyo. Abadala bangabalusi bomhlambi yaye baya kukuvuyela ukukubonisa isiluleko esiphefumlelweyo esiseZibhalweni. (IZe. 20:28; Yak. 5:14, 15) Musa ukugqiba kwelokuba, nineqabane lakho anisayi kuhlonelwa ngabadala xa nicela kubo uncedo lokomoya nize nixubushe nabo iingxaki ezinkulu zomtshato. Baya kukuthanda ngakumbi njengoko bebona ukuba uzimisele ukukholisa uThixo.

13. Sisiphi isiluleko esikweyoku-1 kwabaseKorinte 7:10-16?

¹³ Xa becelwa ukuba bancede amaKristu akwimitshato eyahluleleneyo ngonqulo, abadala babhekisela kumacebiso afana nelo lanikelwa nguPawulos owabhala wathi: “Ke abantu abatshatileyo ndiyabayala, kanti ingendim kodwa iyiNkosi, ukuba umfazi ufanele angemki endodeni yakhe; kodwa ukuba okunene uyemka, makahlale engatshatanga okanye kungenjalo axolelane nendoda yakhe; yaye indoda ayifanele imshiye umfazi wayo. . . . Kuba, wazi njani na, wena mfazi, ukuba akuyi kuyisindisa indoda yakho? Okanye, wazi njani na, wena ndoda, ukuba akuyi kumsindisa umfazi wakho?” (1 Kor. 7:10-16) Kuyintsikelelo ngokwenene ukuzuza iqabane elingakholwayo libe kunqulo lwenyaniso!

14, 15. Kunini apho iqabane elingumKristu linokucinga ngokuhamba, kodwa kutheni kubalulekile ukuba lithandaze lize liwuhlolisise ngokunyaniseka lo mbandela?

¹⁴ Kuphantsi kwaziphi iimeko apho anokuthi umfazi ongumKristu ‘emke’? Abanye baye bakhetha ukuhamba ngenxa yokungaxhaswa ngabom ngamaqabane abo. Abanye baye bakwenza oko ngenxa yokuxhatshazwa okungathethekiyo emzimbeni okanye ngenxa yokuba sengozini kwemeko yabo yokomoya.

¹⁵ Enoba uyahamba okanye uyahlala, eso sisigqibo sobuqu. Noko ke, iqabane elibhaptiziweyo limele lithandaze lize liwuhlolisise ngokunyaniseka lo mbandela. Ngokomzekelo, ngaba iqabane elingakholwayo liyingozi ngokupheleleyo ngokomoya kwelo likholwayo, okanye ngaba elo lingumKristu belingakukhathalelanga ukufundisisa iBhayibhile, belingabikho rhoqo kwiintlanganiso yaye lingashumayeli rhoqo?

16. Yintoni efanele incede amaKristu angenzi izigqibo zokutyhuthuzela ngokuphathelele ukuqhawula umtshato?

¹⁶ Isibakala sokuba siluxabisa ulwalamano lwethu noThixo yaye sisixabisa isipho sakhe somtshato simele sisincede singenzi izigqibo zokutyhuthuzela ngokuphathelele ukuqhawula umtshato. Njengabakhonzi bakaYehova, sikuxhalabele ukungcwaliswa kwegama lakhe elingcwele. Ngoko, ngokuqinisekileyo, asisayi kuze senze amayelenqe okuphuma emtshatweni ngoxa ezintliziyweni zethu siceba ukuqalisa omnye.—Yer. 17:9; Mal. 2:13-16.

17. Kuphantsi kwaziphi iimeko apho kunokuthiwa uThixo ubizele amaKristu atshatileyo eluxolweni?

¹⁷ UmKristu otshate nomntu ongakholwayo ufanele azame ukugcina iqhina lomtshato wakhe lomelele. Sekunjalo, umKristu akamele azive enetyala xa esithi nakuba esenza imigudu enyanisekileyo yokulondoloza umtshato wakhe, iqabane elingakholwayo lingavumi ukuqhubeka litshate naye. UPawulos wabhala: “Ukuba lowo ungakholwayo uyemka, makemke; xa kunjalo umzalwana okanye udade akabotshelelwanga, kodwa uThixo unibizele eluxolweni.”—1 Kor. 7:15.b

THEMBELA KUYEHOVA

18. Kwanokuba asinakukwazi ukusindisa imitshato yethu, yiyiphi imiphumo emihle esinokuyifumana xa sisenza imigudu yokuyisindisa?

¹⁸ Xa uhlangabezana nazo naziphi na iingxaki zomtshato, cela uYehova akuphe inkalipho uze usoloko uthembele ngaye. (Funda iNdumiso 27:14.) Khawucinge nje ngoLinda, okhankanywe ngaphambilana. Umtshato wakhe waphela uqhawukile, nangona wayezame kangangeminyaka ukuwusindisa. Ngaba uvakalelwa kukuba udlale ngexesha lakhe? Uthi: “Akunjalo konke konke. Imigudu endandiyenza yanikela ubungqina obuhle kwabo babebukele. Isazela sam sikhululekile. Eyona nto intle kakhulu yeyokuba, loo minyaka yanceda intombi yethu yabambelela ngokuqinileyo enyanisweni. Yaba liNgqina likaYehova elizimiseleyo nelizahluleleyo.”

19. Yintoni enokwenzeka xa sisenza imigudu yokukhusela imitshato yethu?

¹⁹ Elinye ibhinqa elingumKristu, uMarilyn, liyavuya kuba lathembela kuThixo laza lenza umgudu okhethekileyo wokukhusela umtshato walo. Lithi: “Kwanyanzeleka ndahlukane nomyeni wam ngenxa yokuba wayengandiniki mali yaye wayeyingozi kwimeko yam yokomoya. Kodwa umyeni wam wayengumdala ngaphambi kokuba abandakanyeke kushishino olungelulo. Waqalisa ukuya manqaphanqapha kwiintlanganiso yaye sayeka ukunxibelelana. Kwathi kwakuhlasela abagrogrisi kwisixeko esasihlala kuso, ndoyika kangangokude ndiyeke ukunxibelelana naye. Emva koko, ndaqonda ukuba kuphosakele oko ndandikwenza. Saphinda sanxibelelana, saqalisa isifundo sethu sentsapho saza saphinda saya rhoqo kwiintlanganiso. Abadala basiphatha ngobubele baza basinceda gqitha. Umtshato wethu waphinda wahlaziyeka. Ekuhambeni kwexesha, umyeni wam waphinda wafanelekela amalungelo ebandla. Esi yayisisifundo esinzima esaba nemiphumo encumisayo.”

20, 21. Yintoni esifanele sizimisele ukuyenza ngokuphathelele umtshato?

²⁰ Enoba sitshatile okanye asitshatanga, masisoloko sibonisa inkalipho size sithembele kuYehova. Ukuba sineengxaki zomtshato, sifanele sizimisele ukuzicombulula, sikhumbula ukuba abo bamanywe ngeqhina lomtshato “abasebabini, kodwa banyama-nye.” (Mat. 19:6) Yaye simele sikhumbule ukuba, ukuba siyanyamezela nangona amaqabane ethu engakholwa yaye kukho iingxaki zomtshato, sinokufumana uvuyo lokuzuza iqabane libe kunqulo lokwenyaniso.

²¹ Enoba sikweyiphi imeko, ngamana singazimisela ukuhamba ngobulumko ukuze sinikele ubungqina obuhle kwabo bangaphandle kwebandla. Ukuba umtshato wethu usecicini lokuqhawuka, masithandaze ngokungapheziyo, sihlolisise iintshukumisa zethu ngokunyaniseka, sihlolisise iZibhalo size sicele uncedo lokomoya kubadala. Ngaphezu koko, ngamana singazimisela ukukholisa uYehova uThixo kwizinto zonke size sibonise uxabiso lokwenene ngesipho sakhe esimangalisayo somtshato.

[Imibhalo esemazantsi]

[Amagama acatshulweyo akwiphepha 10]

AmaKristu angakhawuleziyo ukunikezela xa imitshato yawo ineengxaki asoloko ephumelela

[Amagama acatshulweyo akwiphepha 12]

Cela uYehova akuphe inkalipho uze usoloko uthembele ngaye

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 9]

UYehova uyawasikelela amaqabane omtshato angamaKristu awenza imigudu yokulondoloza imitshato eneengxaki

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 11]

Ibandla lamaKristu linokuba ngumthombo wentuthuzelo noncedo lokomoya