Ukulawula Ukoyika Abantu Ngokugqithiseleyo

“Eyona nto ibalulekileyo ukuba bayikhumbule abantu abanoloyiko olugqithiseleyo kukuba isigulo soloyiko olugqithiseleyo siyakwazi ukunyangeka. Asiyonto abamele baqhubeke bebandezeleka yiyo.”—UGqr. Chris Sletten.

OKUVUYISAYO kukuba, abaninzi ababoyika ngokugqithiseleyo abantu baye bancedwa ukuba bathobe izibilini kwanokuba bajamelane neemeko ababezoyika kangangeminyaka emininzi. Ukuba uboyika ngokugqhithiseleyo abantu, qiniseka ukuba nawe unako ukufunda iindlela ezisebenzayo onokuqhubana ngazo nesi sigulo. Ukuze wenjenjalo, ufanele uqwalasele (1) imiqondiso yasemzimbeni, (2) iinkolelo onazo ngemeko oyoyikayo, (3) nendlela oziphatha ngayo xa usoyika.

Imigaqo yeBhayibhile inokunceda. Liyinyaniso elokuba, iLizwi likaThixo aliyoncwadi yezamayeza, ingalikhankanyi kwanebinzana elithi “ukuboyika ngokugqithiseleyo abantu.” Sekunjalo, iBhayibhile isenokukunceda ‘ulondoloze ubulumko obusebenzisekayo namandla okucinga’ xa uqhubana nezinto ozoyikayo.—IMizekeliso 3:21; Isaya 48:17.

Ukulawula Oko Ukwenzayo

Abantu benza izinto ezahlukahlukeneyo ngenxa yokuboyika ngokugqithiseleyo abantu. Usabela njani umzimba wakho xa ujamelana nemeko oyoyikayo? Ngaba izandla zakho ziyangcangcazela? Ngaba intliziyo yakho ibetha ngamandla? Ngaba ukhathazwa sisisu? Ngaba uyabila okanye uba neentloni okanye ngaba umlomo wakho uyoma?

Kuyavunywa ukuba, akumnandi ukubila, ukuthintitha okanye ukungcangcazela phambi kwabanye. Kodwa ukuba nexhala ngoko kusenokwenzeka akuyi kukunceda. UYesu wabuza: “Ngubani na kuni onokuthi ngokuba nexhala abe nako ukongeza ikubhite enye kubude bobomi bakhe?” (Mateyu 6:27; thelekisa IMizekeliso 12:25.) Eneneni, ukusoloko ucinga ngoko kwenzeka kuwe kwanoko abanye basenokucinga ngako kuphela kuya kwenza iimeko zibe mbi ngakumbi. Incwadi ethi The Harvard Mental Health Letter ithi: “Ukucinga ukuba abanye bayababona ukuba bayoyika kwenza abo baboyika ngokugqithiseleyo abantu babe nexhala ngakumbi. Balindela ukuba izinto baza kuzenza kakubi—nto leyo ebangela uloyiko olungakumbi xa bejamelene neemeko ezoyikisayo.”

Usenokukwazi ukunciphisa oko kwenzekayo kuwe ngokuziqhelisa ukuphefumla kancinane ukusuka kwidiaphragm. (Bona ibhokisi ethi “Lumkela Indlela Ophefumla Ngayo!”) Kwakhona into eluncedo kukwenza umthambo wokuphumza izihlunu. (1 Timoti 4:8) Kwakhona kusenokufuneka wenze iinguqulelo ezithile kubomi bakho. Ngokomzekelo, iBhayibhile iyalumkisa: “Kulungile ukuzalisa sandla sinye ngokuphumla, kunokuzalisa zozibini izandla ngemigudu nokusukelana nomoya.” (INtshumayeli 4:6) Ngoko qiniseka ukuba uphumla ngokwaneleyo. Ngaphezu koko, lumkela ukutya okutyayo. Musa ukuqakatha izidlo okanye utye ngamaxesha angafaniyo. Kusenokuba yimfuneko ukungatyi icaffeine eninzi, nto leyo esenokuba ngunobangela wexhala.

Ngaphezu koko, yiba nomonde. (INtshumayeli 7:8) Elinye iqela loogqirha lithi: “Kungekudala, uya kuphawula ukuba, nangona usathambekele ekubeni nexhala kwiimeko ezithile, kuya kuba kuncinane gqitha okwenzeka kuwe. Okona kubalulekileyo, ngokuqhelisela, uya kuzithemba ngakumbi, yaye uya kukulungela ngakumbi ukujamelana neemeko ozoyikayo.”

Ukuhlolisisa Iinkolelo Zakho Zoloyiko Olugqithiseleyo

Kuye kwathiwa akunakuvakalelwa ngendlela ethile ngaphandle kokucinga ngaloo nto kuqala. Oku kukhangeleka kuyinyaniso ngokuboyika ngokugqithiseleyo abantu. Ngenxa yoko, ukuze unciphise oko kwenzeka kuwe, kusenokufuneka uhlole ‘iingcinga-ngcinga’ eziyibangelayo.—INdumiso 94:19.

Ezinye iingcali zithi ukuboyika ngokugqithiseleyo abantu, ngokusisiseko, luloyiko lokungamkelwa. Ngokomzekelo, ngoxa esembuthweni, umntu oboyika ngokugqithiseleyo abantu usenokuzixelela oku, ‘Ndikhangeleka kakubi. Kumele ukuba abantu bandiphawule ukuba andimelanga ukuba lapha. Ndiqinisekile ukuba wonke umntu uyandihleka.’ Omnye owayeboyika ngokugqithiseleyo abantu ogama linguTracy wayeneemvakalelo ezinjalo. Noko ke, ekuhambeni kwexesha wahlola iinkolelo zakhe. Wafumanisa ukuba abantu banezinye izinto ezibhetele abanokuzenza ngexesha labo kunokuhlala beqwalasela kuye ukuze bamhlab’ amadlala. UTracy waqukumbela ngelithi: “Kwanokuba ndithetha into enganik’ umdla, ngaba kufanelekile ukuba omnye umntu andigxeke njengomntu ngenxa yoku?”

NjengoTracy, kusenokuba yimfuneko ukuhlolisisa indlela egqwethekileyo ocinga ngayo ngoko kunokwenzeka—ngoko—ngokungamkelwa ngabanye kwiimeko ezithile. Ngaba ngokwenene sikho isizathu esibonakalayo sokukholelwa ukuba abantu baya kukucaphukela ukuba loo nto uyoyikelayo iya kwenzeka? Nokuba abanye basenokwenjenjalo, ngaba sikho isizathu sokugqiba kwelokuba akunako ukumelana neso silingo sinzima? Ngaba imbono yomnye umntu enyanisweni ikwenza ungaxabiseki njengomntu? Ngobulumko iBhayibhile icebisa ngelithi: “Musa ukuyinikela intliziyo yakho kumazwi onke athethwayo.”—INtshumayeli 7:21.

Elinye iqela loogqirha libhala ngokoyika abantu ngokugqithiseleyo lathi: “Iingxaki zivela xa abantu beba nenkxalabo kakhulu ngokungamkelwa okungenakuphepheka ebomini. Ukungamkelwa kusenokudanisa. Kusenokuba buhlungu kakhulu. Kodwa akukho mfuneko yokuba kukunxunguphalise. Eneneni akuyontlekele ingako ngaphandle kokuba ukwenza kube yiyo.”

IBhayibhile isinceda ukuba sizijonge ngokusengqiqweni. Iyavuma isithi: “Sonke siyakhubeka izihlandlo ezininzi.” (Yakobi 3:2) Ewe, akukho mntu ofezekileyo yaye maxa wambi loo nto ibangela iintloni. Ukukuqonda oku kusinceda sibamkele ubuthathaka babanye, yaye kuyabakhuthaza abanye benjenjalo nakuthi. Kakade ke, amaKristu ayazi ukuba oyena mntu afanele amkholise nguYehova uThixo—yaye akagxininisi kwiziphoso zethu.—INdumiso 103:13, 14; 130:3.

Ukujamelana Noloyiko Onalo

Ukuphumelela kumlo wokuboyika ngokugqithiseleyo abantu, kungekudala kuya kufuneka ujamelane noloyiko onalo. Ekuqaleni, ukucinga ngoku kusenokukutyhafisa. Kude kube ngoku, mhlawumbi uye waziphepha iimeko ezinokubangela uloyiko. Noko ke, oku kusenokukubangela ungazithembi ngakumbi yaye uhlale usoyika. Ngenxa yesizathu esivakalayo, iBhayibhile ithi: “Ozahlulayo ufuna umnqweno wakhe; into yonke ezimasayo uyayivungamela.”—IMizekeliso 18:1.

Ngokwahlukileyo, ukujamelana noloyiko kusenokunciphisa ixhala.a UGqr. John R. Marshall uthi: “Ngokufuthi sikhuthaza abaguli ababoyika ngokugqithiseleyo abantu—ingakumbi abo banoloyiko lwezinto ezithile, njengokuthetha esidlangalaleni—ukuzinyanzela ukuba babandakanyeke ngakumbi kwiimeko okanye kwiintlanganiso ezifuna babe phakathi kwabantu.”

Ukujamelana nezi meko uzoyikayo kuya kukuqinisekisa (1) ukuba iziphoso ezibangel’ iintloni ngokufuthi aziyi kuphelela ekubeni ungamkelwa ngabanye yaye (2) kwanokuba kuyenzeka ukuba ziphelela ekubeni ungamkeleki, oku akuyontlekele. Noko ke, ungakulibali ukuba nomonde ngenkqubela oyenzayo. Ukuchacha asiyonto eza ngephanyazo, kungekho ngqiqweni nokulindela ukuba ukuboyika ngokugqithiseleyo abantu kuthi shwaka. Ngokutsho kukaGqr. Sally Winston, usukelo lonyango asikokuphelisa izinto ezenzekayo, kodwa kukuzenza zingabi namsebenzi. Uthi ukuba azinamsebenzi, ziyaphela okanye ubuncinane zinciphe.

AmaKristu anentshukumisa enamandla yokoyisa ukuboyika abantu. Eneneni, ayaxelelwa ukuba “masiqwalaselane ukuze sivuselelane eluthandweni nasemisebenzini emihle, singakutyesheli ukuhlanganisana kwethu ndawonye.” (Hebhere 10:24, 25) Ekubeni umsebenzi wamaKristu ngokufuthi uquka ukuba phakathi kwabanye, ukwenza umzamo wokulawula ukuboyika kwakho abantu kusenokuba luncedo olukhulu kwinkqubela yakho yokomoya. (Mateyu 28:19, 20; IZenzo 2:42; 1 Tesalonika 5:14) Wuthandazele lo mbandela kuYehova uThixo, kuba angakunika “amandla angaphaya koko kuqhelekileyo.” (2 Korinte 4:7; 1 Yohane 5:14) Mcele uYehova ukuba akuncede ukujonge ngokulungeleleneyo ukwamkelwa ngabanye uze uhlakulele ubuchule obuyimfuneko ekwenzeni oko akufunayo.

Liyinyaniso elokuba, iingxaki zomntu ngamnye onale ngxaki azifani, yaye ngamnye uya kuba nemiqobo eyahlukeneyo ekufuneka ejamelane nayo kwanamandla angafaniyo okumxhasa. Bambi baye benza inkqubela ebonakalayo ngokusebenzisa amanye ala macebiso kuye kwaxutyushwa ngawo. Kukho iimeko apho kusenokufuneka uncedo olongezelelekileyo. Ngokomzekelo, bambi baye bancedwa ngamayeza.b Abanye baye bafumana uncedo kwiingcali zezigulo zengqondo. UVukani! akancomeli naluphi uhlobo lokunyanga. Enoba umKristu usebenzisa unyango olunjalo sisigqibo sobuqu. Noko ke, uya kulumka ukuze naluphi na unyango alufumanayo lungangqubani nemigaqo yeBhayibhile.

Abantu “Abaneemvakalelo Ezinjengezethu”

IBhayibhile inokuba lukhuthazo olukhulu, kuba iquka imizekelo yokwenene yabantu aboyisa imiqobo yobuqu ukuze benze oko kufunwa nguThixo kubo. Cinga ngoEliya. Njengomnye wabaprofeti ababalaseleyo bakwaSirayeli, wabonakalisa inkalipho ebonakala ingaphezu kweyomntu. Sekunjalo, iBhayibhile isiqinisekisa ukuba “uEliya wayengumntu oneemvakalelo ezinjengezethu.” (Yakobi 5:17) Wayebanawo amaxesha okoyika nokuba nexhala kakhulu.—1 Kumkani 19:1-4.

Umpostile uPawulos ongumKristu waya eKorinte ‘ebuthathaka ibe esoyika kwaye engcangcazela kakhulu,’ kubonakala ukuba wayengabuthembanga kwaphela ubuchule bakhe. Yaye ngomlinganiselo othile akazange amkelwe. Eneneni, abanye abachasi bathi ngoPawulos: “Ubukho bakhe ngobuqu bubuthathaka yaye intetho yakhe idelekile.” Sekunjalo, akukho nto ibonakalisa ukuba uPawulos wavumela iimbono ezigqwethekileyo zabanye zichaphazele imbono yakhe ngaye siqu nangobuchule bakhe.—1 Korinte 2:3-5; 2 Korinte 10:10.

UMoses wayengabuthembanga ubuchule bakhe bokuthetha noFaro, esithi “ndingokuthetha kunzima, ndikwanzima nolwimi.” (Eksodus 4:10) Kwanaxa uYehova uThixo wayethembisa ukumnceda, uMoses wabongoza wathi: “Hayi, Nkosi, nceda uthumele mntu wumbi.” (Eksodus 4:13, Today’s English Version) UMoses wayengabuboni ubuchule bakhe, kodwa uYehova wayebubona. Wamgqala uMoses njengonobuchule bengqondo nobasemzimbeni ukuphumeza eso sabelo. Sekunjalo, uYehova ngothando wamnika uMoses umntu wokumnceda. Akazange amnyanzele uMoses ukuba aye kuFaro yedwa.—Eksodus 4:14, 15.

Kwakhona noYeremiya ungumzekelo obalaseleyo kulo mba. Xa wathunywa njengomprofeti kaThixo, eli gatyana lomfana laphendula lathi: “Kwowu, Nkosi Yehova, yabona, andikwazi ukuthetha, ngokuba ndingumntwana.” Kwakungekho nantoni na kuYeremiya eyayibonisa amandla okuphumeza isabelo sakhe. Sekunjalo, uYehova wayenaye. Wamnceda uYeremiya waba ‘ngumzi onqatyisiweyo, intsika yesinyithi, udonga lobhedu kulo lonke ilizwe.’—Yeremiya 1:6, 18, 19.

Ngoko ke, ukuba uloyiko okanye ixhala lukubangela ubandezeleke, musa ukugqiba kwelokuba akunalo ukholo okanye uYehova ukulahlile. Ngokwahlukileyo koko, “usondele uYehova kwabantliziyo zaphukileyo, abasindise abamoya utyumkileyo.”—INdumiso 34:18.

Eneneni, imizekelo yeBhayibhile ekhankanywe ngasentla ibonisa ukuba kwanamadoda omeleleyo okholo alwisana neemvakalelo aweyenazo zokungafaneleki. Ngoxa engafuni okungaphezu koko ngamnye anokukunikela, uYehova wanceda uEliya, uPawulos, uMoses noYeremiya ukuba baphumeze okungakumbi kwinkonzo yabo kunokuba babelindele. Ekubeni uYehova ‘ekwazi yena ukubunjwa kwethu, ekhumbula ukuba siluthuli,’ qiniseka ukuba unokwenjenjalo nakuwe.—INdumiso 103:14.

[Imibhalo esemazantsi]

[Imifanekiso ekwiphepha 24, 25]

Ukunceda ukunciphisa ixhala, kulumkele oko ukutyayo uze uphumle ngokwaneleyo

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 26]

UYehova wanceda abantu abanjengoMoses ukuphumeza okungakumbi kwinkonzo yabo kunokuba babelindele