Ukuzibamba Xa Unomsindo
NGAPHEZU kweminyaka engama-2 000 eyadlulayo, isithandi-sobulumko somGrike uAristotle sasebenzisa ibinzana elithi “ukuxibilila” sichaza “ukukhupha” okanye ukukhulula uxinzeleko lweemvakalelo ngokubukela umdlalo weqonga omanyumnyezi. Eyona nto wayeyithetha kukuba emva kokukhupha olo xinzeleko, umntu uyahlaziyeka engqondweni.
Ebutsheni bale nkulungwane idluleyo, ingcali yemithambo yaseOstriya uSigmund Freud wakhuthaza kwaloo ngcamango ifanayo. Wathi xa abantu beyivalela ngaphakathi intlungu yabo bangathethi, iyaqulungana ize igqabhuke sele umntu ephazamisekile engqondweni. Ngoko ke, uFreud wayesithi umntu umele awukhuphe umsindo wakhe kunokuzibamba.
Kutshanje, xa kwakuphandwa ngale ngcamango ngeyee-1970 neyee-1980 zange kufunyanwe nto inesihlahla. Iziphumo zolo phando zabangela ukuba ugqirha wengqondo uCarol Tavris abhale athi: “Lixesha lokuyingcwaba nya ingcamango yokuba kuluncedo ukukhupha umsindo. Into yokuba ukubukela ugonyamelo (okanye ‘ukulubonakalisa’) kunceda ubani ayeke ukuba ndlongondlongo ayizange yaxhaswa luphando.”
Omnye ugqirha wengqondo uGary Hankins, wathi: “Uphando lubonisa ukuba ‘ukukhuphela’ umsindo ngale ndlela kusoloko kumshiya ubani ezisola kunokuba akhululeke.” Kuyavunywa ukuba, iingcali zengqondo zisenokungavumelani ngalo mbandela wokukhuphela umsindo. Kodwa ke, abaninzi baye bancedwa ngomnye umthombo wobulumko, iBhayibhile.
“Wuyeke Umsindo”
Into yokulawula umsindo yachazwa kakuhle eBhayibhileni ngumdumisi uDavide. Wathi: “Wuyeke umsindo uyishiye ingqumbo; musa ukuvutha ngumsindo uze wenze ububi.” (INdumiso 37:8) Indlela yokuphepha ukuthetha okanye ukwenza into oya kuzisola ngayo kamva kukukuphepha kwasekuqaleni “ukuvutha ngumsindo.” Kakade ke, ukuthetha asikokwenza. Kodwa oku kuyenzeka! Makhe siqwalasele iindlela ezintathu onokuwulawula ngazo umsindo.
Kuphephe Ukuvutha Ngumsindo
Ukuze uthomalalise umsindo zibambe uze uzole. Phepha ukuthetha nantoni na ethi qatha engqondweni. Xa uziva ukuba uyafudumala kuba nzima ukuzibamba, zama eli cebiso leBhayibhile: “Ukuqala kosukuzwano kunjengovulela amanzi; ngoko ngaphambi kokuba kuvele ingxabano, rhoxa.”—IMizekeliso 17:14.
Yiloo nto eyanceda indoda egama linguJack yakwazi ukulawula umsindo owawuyenza ndlongondlongo. Uyise kaJack wayezinikele etywaleni nasemsindweni. NoJack ke wakhula enjalo. Uthi: “Xa ndinomsindo kwakuba ngathi nditshiswa ngumlilo. Ndandidubul’ inqindi ndishiy’ endingalaziyo ilizwi.”
Izinto zaqalisa ukutshintsha xa uJack wafunda iBhayibhile namaNgqina kaYehova. Waqonda ukuba uThixo unokumnceda atshintshe aze akwazi ukulawula loo msindo. Ngokwenene wamnceda! UJack ubalisa ngento awayenzayo xa wayethukwa ngumntu asebenza naye: “Kwakuthi mandife, ndifixekile. Kwakungase ndimbambe ndimngqule phantsi.
Yintoni eyanceda uJack wazibamba? Uthi: “Ndikhumbula ndithandaza ndisithi, ‘Yehova ndincede ndizole!’ Emva koko kwenzeka into engazange yenzeka ndaziva ndiseluxolweni, ndakwazi ukumshiya apho.” UJack waqhubeka efundisisa iBhayibhile. Wachitha ixesha elingakumbi ethandaza yaye ecamngca ngezibhalo ezifana neMizekeliso 26:20, ethi: “Apho kungekho nkuni uyacima umlilo.” UJack wade wakwazi ukuwulawula umsindo.
Ziqhelise Ukuzola
“Intliziyo ezolileyo ibubomi kumzimba wenyama, kodwa ikhwele likukubola emathanjeni.” (IMizekeliso 14:30) Ukwenza ngokwale nyaniso yeBhayibhile kunokuyiphucula impilo yakho ngokwemvakalelo, ngokwenyama nangokomoya. Ziqhelise ukuzola nto leyo eya kukunceda uthothe umsindo. Ezi ndlela zilandelayo zinokuba luncedo ekulweni noxinzeleko oluziswa ngumsindo:
● Ukuphefumla utsale umoya okulelinye lamacebo asebenzayo—nakhawulezayo—ukuthomalalisa umsindo.
● Ngoxa uphefumla utsala umoya, phindaphinda amazwi aza kukupholisa, njengala “khawume,” “khawuyeke,” okanye “thob’ umoya.”
● Kunokuba luncedo ukuzixakekisa ngokwenza into oyithandayo—mhlawumbi ngokufunda, ukuphulaphula umculo, ukwenza igadi, okanye nantoni na ekwenza uzole.
● Ukuhlala uzilolonga nokutya ukutya okusempilweni.
Tshintsha Ulindelo Onalo
Usenokungakwazi ukubaphepha ngokupheleleyo abantu okanye izinto eziza kukucaphukisa, kodwa ungakufunda ukuzibamba. Oku kuquka ukutshintsha indlela ocinga ngayo.
Abantu abanolindelo olugqithiseleyo bathanda ukuba nomsindo. Kutheni kunjalo nje? Kungenxa yokuba xa omnye umntu okanye into ethile ingenzeki ngale ndlela balindele ukuba yenzeke ngayo, bayadana baze bacaphuke. Ukuze balwe nale ngxaki, kufuneka bakhumbule ukuba “akukho mntu ulilungisa, nokuba abe mnye . . . Bonke abantu baphambukile, xa bebonke.” (Roma 3:10, 12) Ngoko ke, siyazenzakalisa xa silindela ukuba sigqibelele okanye omnye umntu.
Bubulumko ukungabi nolindelo olugqithiseleyo kuthi nakwabanye. IBhayibhile ithi: “Sonke siyakhubeka izihlandlo ezininzi. Ukuba kukho nabani na ongakhubeki zwini, lowo uyindoda egqibeleleyo.” (Yakobi 3:2) Ewe, “Akukho mntu ulilungisa emhlabeni oqhubeka esenza okulungileyo angoni.” (INtshumayeli 7:20) Ngoko ke, ukuba sizenza into esingeyiyo—ukugqibelela—siya kuhlala sixakanisekile yaye sinomsindo.
Njengabantu abangafezekanga, sonke sikhe sibe nomsindo. Kodwa ixhomekeke kuthi eyokuba senza ntoni xa sinawo. Umpostile uPawulos wahlabela mgama wathi kumaKristu: “Qumbani, kodwa ningoni; malingatshoni ilanga nicaphukile.” (Efese 4:26) Ewe, ukuba siyazibamba xa sinomsindo, singakwazi ukwenza izinto ezintle eziza kunceda wonk’ ubani obandakanyekileyo.
[Ibhokisi/Imifanekiso ekwiphepha 8, 9]
ZIQHELISE UKUZOLA
Zama ukuphefumlela phezulu utsale umoya
Zixakekise wenze into oyithandayo
Zilolonge rhoqo