Intsha Iyabuza . . .
Kungani Lokhu Kwenzeka Emzimbeni Wami?
UBUSHA—lesi kungaba isikhathi esithakazelisayo ekuphileni kwakho. Kancane kancane uyashintsha ekubeni umntwana uba umuntu omdala!
Nokho, mhlawumbe abazali bakho abazange baxoxe nawe kusengaphambili ngalokho okumelwe ukulindele. Ngisho noma beye baxoxa ngakho, isimo esingokoqobo sokuthomba singase sibe ngaphezu kwalokho obukulindele. Kungase kube nezinto ezenzeka kuwe ezikwenza ukuba uzibuze noma kunokuthile okungalunganga ngokungathi sína ngawe. Nokho, ngokuqinisekile, kwenzeka okuphambene kakhulu kunalokho!
Umjikelezo Wokuya Esikhathini—Isiqalekiso Noma Isibusiso?
Cishe eminyakeni emibili ngemva kokuba ukuthomba kuqalile, intombazane esencane ihlangabezana nokukhula okuphawulekayo—ukuqala komjikelezo wokuya esikhathini. Nokho, ngaphandle kokusilungiselela ngokwanele, lesisehlakalo esiyingqopha-mlando singase sesabise, sishaqise.a Intombazane egama layo linguPaula yabhala, “Ngiyesaba ngempela. Cishe ezinyangeni ezintathu ezidlule, ngaqala ukopha izinsuku ezimbalwa ngenyanga. Ingabe lokhu kusho ukuthi nginomdlavuza? . . . Ngikhathazeke kakhulu ngicabanga ngalokhu kopha kangangokuthi ngiyakhala futhi ngiqhaqhazele.”
Incwadi iAdolescents and Youth ibika ukuthi amanye amantombazane aze azizwe ngisho ehlazekile futhi enecela lapho umjikelezo wawo uqala. Khona-ke, akumangalisi ukuthi amantombazane amaningi asigcina siyimfihlalo lesehlakalo. Enye intombazane esencane, yathi: “Nganginamahloni okutshela umama. Wayengakaze akhulume lutho ngakho nami futhi ngangesaba kuthi angife.”
Kodwa kunokuba kube into okumelwe ube namahloni ngayo, umjikelezo wokuya esikhathini uwubufakazi bokuthi amandla akho okuzala ayavuthwa. Manje umzimba wakho usungakwazi ukubamba isisu nokuzala umntwana. Oh, kuyoba iminyaka eminingi ngaphambi kokuba ukulungele ngempela ukuba umzali. Kodwa manje nakhu lapho ukhona, umi onqenqemeni lokuba owesifazane okhulile. Ingabe lokhu kungokuthile okumelwe ube namahloni noma udumazeke ngakho? Akunjalo neze!
Ngaphandle kwalokho, lokhu kungokuthile okwenzeka kwabesifazane kuyo yonke indawo. IBhayibheli libhekisela emjikelezweni wokuya esikhathini ‘njengento yabesifazane.’ (Genesise 31:35) Futhi ngokuphambene nombono wabanye, awusona isiqalekiso.b Nokho, mhlawumbe okunye kokwesaba kwakho kuzoncipha uma usiqonda kangcono isizathu nendlela lomjikelezo owenzeka ngayo.
“Isimangaliso Sanyanga Zonke”
Igama lesiNgisi elithi “menstruation” (ukuya esikhathini) livela egameni lesiLatin elisho ukuthi “nyanga zonke.” Kanye ngenyanga umzimba wakho ukwazi ukubamba isisu. Okokuqala, ukwenyuka kwezinga lamahormone omzimba wakho kunikeza iuterus noma isibeletho uphawu. Lesibeletho sizilungiselela ukwamukela nokunakekela iqanda elivuthiwe; ulwelwesi lwaso lugcwala igazi nezakhi. Eduze kwaso kunezitho ezimbili ezinesimo sealmond ezaziwa ngokuthi amaovary, ngasinye siqukethe izinkulungwane zamaqanda amancane. Iqanda ngalinye lingaba umntwana, lidinga nje kuphela ukuba lihlangane nesidoda sowesilisa. Kanye ngenyanga, iqanda liyavuthwa futhi liphume kumaovary.
“Iminwe” ethambile manje ishanela iqanda futhi ilidonsele kwelinye lamashubhu okuthiwa amaFallopian tube. Iqanda elincane manje liqala uhambo lwezinsuku ezine kuya kweziyisithupha liguduza kulelishubhu liya esibelethweni. Uma owesifazane engakhulelwa phakathi nalesikhathi, iqanda elincane liyaphahlazeka. Ulwelwesi lwesibeletho olugcwele igazi nalo luyadabuka. Isibeletho siqala ukusongana futhi kancane kancane sixoshe lolulwelwesi ngomgudu wesitho sangasese sowesifazane.
Noma nini ezinsukwini ezisukela kwezimbili kuya kweziyisikhombisa (kuyahlukahluka kuye ngowesifazane) uketshezi lokuba sesikhathini luyaphuma. Khona-ke lenqubo iyaziphindaphinda, nyanga zonke, kuze kube yilapho ukuya esikhathini kunqamuka khona.c Omunye umlobi wayichaza kahle lenqubo ngokuthi “isimangaliso sanyanga zonke”! Kuyinqubo enesigxivizo esingenaphutha soMklami oyiNgcweti. Futhi kungesinye isizathu sokubabaza, njengoba kwenza umhubi: “Ngiyakukubonga, ngokuba ngenziwa ngokwesabekayo nangokumangalisayo”!—IHubo 139:14.
Ukuthola Usizo
Nokho, umjikelezo wokuya esikhathini uyakunikeza ukukhathazeka okuningi. Ngokwesibonelo, amantombazane amaningi ayakhathazeka, ‘Kuthiwani uma kuqala ngisesikoleni?’ Kuyavunywa, lokhu kungase kuninde izimpahla zakho futhi kukubangele ukuphoxeka okuthile. Nokho, umfundisi wezobulili uLynda Madaras uyasiqinisekisa ukuthi “amantombazane amaningi awophi kakhulu zisuka kuze kubonakale ezingutsheni zawo.” Nakuba kunjalo, uyofuna ukukulungiselela kahle.
Izincwadi eziningi zinikeza iseluleko esingokwezokwelapha esinengqondo. Kodwa kungani futhi ungahlanganyeli ukukhathazeka kwakho nomama wakho? Akungabazeki ukuthi uyoba nokusikisela okuningi okuwusizo. Enye intombazane esencane yathi: “Umama wayenjengomngane kimi. Sasixoxa kakhulu, futhi wayeyiphendula imibuzo yami.”
Kuyavunywa, abanye omama baba nobunzima bokukhuluma ngezindaba eziyisifuba. Kodwa uma ukhuluma naye ngenhlonipho futhi umazise ukuthi ngempela lokhu kubalulekile kuwe, angase akwazi ukunqoba ukuba manqikanqika kwakhe ukuba akhulume. Uma lokho kwehluleka, kungani ungathululi isifuba sakho kowesifazane ovuthiwe ongumKristu ozizwa ukhululekile kuye?
Nakuba abesifazane abaningi bekwazi ukwenza imisebenzi yabo yansuku zonke phakathi nesikhathi sabo senyanga, incwadi iChanging Bodies, Changing Lives isikhumbuza ukuthi abanye besifazane baphathwa “amakhanda, iqolo, izinkinga zesikhumba, ukushintshashintsha kwemizwelo, ukucindezeleka, amajaqamba, isicanucanu, nokugcwala amanzi.” Amaphilisi avamile ezinhlungu ngokuvamile ayaziqeda lezimpawu. (Udokotela wakho angase anqume uma kudingeka umuthi onamandla ngokwengeziwe.) Futhi uma kunokwenzeka, ungase ugweme ukucindezeleka okungadingekile ngalesosikhathi ngokuhlela imisebenzi yakho ngokuvumelana nomjikelezo wakho.
Ukushaywa Yizibuko
Abafana abasebancane nabo banezinkinga eziningana okumelwe babhekane nazo njengoba isimiso sabo sokuzala sivuthwa. Ngokwesibonelo, izitho zakho zobulili ziqala ukukhiqiza uketshezi olubizwa ngokuthi amalotha. Loluketshezi luqukatha izigidi zesidoda esincane, ngasinye esikwazi ukuvundisa iqanda lowesifazane futhi senze umntwana uma sikhishwe ngesikhathi sokuhlangana ngobulili.
Njengoba ungashadile, isidoda simane sinqwabelane. Esinye kancane kancane simuncwa umzimba wakho. Kodwa ngezikhathi ezithile, esinye siyophuma ebusuku lapho ulele. Lokhu ngokuvamile kubizwa ngokuthi iphupho elimanzi. Nokho, igama elingcono lakho, kuthiwa ukushaywa yizibuko, njengoba loluketshezi ngokuvamile luziphumela, luzihambela lodwa noma luhambisana nephupho oziphupha kulo wenza ubulili.
Okuhlangenwe nakho kokuqala komfana kokushaywa yizibuko kungase kumkhathaze. Omunye osemusha uyakhumbula, “Ngaba nephupho lami lokuqala elimanzi lapho ngineminyaka cishe eyishumi nambili nengxenye. Ngangingazi ukuthi kwenzekani. . . . Ngavuka umbhede uthanda ukuba manzi. Ngacabanga ukuthi ngangizichamele noma kwakwenzeka okuthile.” Nokho, qiniseka ngokuthi ukuphuma okunjalo koketshezi kungokwemvelo. Ngisho neBhayibheli liyakhuluma ngakho. (Levitikusi 15:16, 17) Kuwuphawu lokuthi isimiso sakho sokuzala siyasebenza nokuthi ususendleleni eya ebudodeni.
Kuyavunywa, ukuthi ukucabanga ukuthi umama wakho uzothola amashidi emanzi kungase kukwesabise. Kodwa ngokunokwenzeka kakhulu lokhu ngeke kumshaqise noma kummangaze. Nokho, kungase kusize ukukhuluma ngakho nobaba wakho noma omunye umuntu omdala ovuthiwe. Lokhu kungase kukukhulule ekukhathazekeni okubeleselayo ongase ube nakho. Ungase ngisho ukwazi ukwenza indlela ethile yokugcina lendaba iyimfihlo yakho wedwa.
Ukubhekana Nokuvukwa Isifiso Sobulili
Njengoba isimiso sokuzala sivuthwa, kokubili abafana namantombazane ngokuvamile bazwela kakhulu ekuvukweni isifiso sobulili. Lapho lokhu kwenzeka kumfana, isitho sakhe sobulili, siyaqunjiswa yigazi, elisenza sime noma siqine. “Kodwa,” kukhumbuza iNew Teenage Body Book, “okuningi ukuqina nokuma kwesitho sobulili kwenzeka ngezizathu ezingezona ezobulili—futhi ngezinye izikhathi kubonakala singekho neze isizathu! Ukungqangqazela kwebhasi, izingubo ezimpintshayo, ukugodola, ukwesaba, nezinye izinto kungenza isitho sobulili siqine futhi sime.” Namantombazane asemancane ngokufanayo angase azithole evukwe isifiso sobulili ngaphandle kwesizathu.
Ukuvukwa isifiso sobulili okungafuneki kungase futhi kukukhathaze, kukudumaze. Kodwa kuyingxenye yokukhula futhi kungase kwenzeke izikhathi eziningi. Enye intsha iphulula noma idlale ngezitho zayo ukuze ithole inkululeko ngokobulili. Lokhu akulungile futhi, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, kungase kubangele ezinye izinkinga.d Kungcono umane uphumule futhi ususe ingqondo yakho kukho. Ukuvukwa isifiso sobulili kuzodlula ngokushesha. Njengoba ukhula futhi izinga lamahormone akho lihleleka, uyothola ukuthi ukuvukwa isifiso sobulili okuzenzakalelayo ngeke kusenzeka njalo.
Ukuthomba ngeke kuhlale phakade. Mhlawumbe ngolunye usuku uyoze ngisho ukwazi ukuhleka ezinye zezinto ezikubangela usizi njengamanje. Okwamanje, duduzeka ngeqiniso lokuthi uphile saka.
[Imibhalo yaphansi]
a Kokunye ukuhlola, amaphesenti angama-20 omama abahlolwa ayengawatshelanga lutho amadodakazi awo ngokuya esikhathini. Amanye amaphesenti ayi-10 awanikeza kuphela ukwaziswa okuncane kakhulu.
b Kuyiqiniso ukuthi uMthetho kaMose wawuthi owesifazane osesikhathini “ungcolile.” (Levitikusi 15:19-33) Kodwa lokhu kwakumane kungengqondo yokukhulekela. Ngokusobala, lemithetho yayifundisa inhlonipho ngobungcwele begazi. (Levitikusi 17:10-12) Ngesikhathi esifanayo, lemithetho yakhumbuza isizwe samaJuda ukuthi isintu sizalelwe esimweni sesono futhi sidinga umhlengi.
c Kungase kuthathe izinyanga noma iminyaka ngaphambi kokuba umjikelezo wenzeke njalo zinyanga zonke.
d Bheka izihloko eziphathelene nokushaya indlwabu komagazini bePhaphama! bakaSeptember 8, 1987, November 8, 1987, noMarch 8, 1988.
[Isithombe ekhasini 15]
Abazali bangakusiza ukuba ujwayelane nezinguquko zokuthomba