Intsha Iyabuza . . .

Ngingabhekana Kanjani Nezinselele Zokuba Yingane Yokutholwa?

“Angazi lutho ngempela ngabazali abangizalayo, futhi lokho kungiphatha kabi.”—UBarbara, oneminyaka engu-16 ubudala.

“Angazi nakwazi ukuthi ngazalelwaphi ngempela noma ukuthi bangobani abazali bami. Ngezinye izikhathi ngicabanga ngakho ebusuku.”—UMatt, oneminyaka engu-9 ubudala.

“Uma ngixabana nabazali bami, ngiye ngicabange ukuthi mhlawumbe abazali bami ‘bangempela’ bebezongiqonda kangcono. Yimbi le nto engiyenzayo, kodwa angikaze ngitshele muntu ngayo.”—UQuintana, oneminyaka engu-16 ubudala.

AKUNGABAZEKI ukuthi ukuphila kunezinselele zako uma uyingane yokutholwa. Abasha abaningi balwa nemizwa enjengaleyo echazwe ngenhla. Abaningi bayazibuza ukuthi kufanele babafune yini abantu ababazalayo, noma ukuthi bekuyojabulisa yini ukuphila nabo. Futhi akuzona lezi zinselele kuphela ezikhona.

Esihlokweni esidlule kulolu chungechunge, saxoxa ngemibono eminingana engemihle ezinye izingane zokutholwa ezingase zibe nayo.a Ukulwa nemicabango enjalo edumazayo kubalulekile ukuze uthole injabulo ekuphileni njengengane yokutholwa. Kodwa-ke, yiziphi ezinye zezinselele ezingase ziphakame, futhi ungazithatha kanjani izinyathelo ezifanele zokubhekana nazo?

Ingabe Bangabazali Bami “Bangempela”?

UJake oneminyaka engu-13 ubudala uthi wayehlale ecabanga ngonina omzalayo. Lokho kwamdalela izinkinga nabazali bakhe abamthola. Uyakhumbula: “Njalo uma ngithukuthele, ngangithi, ‘Hhayi, awuyena umama wami wangempela—awukwazi ukungijezisa ngale ndlela!’”

Njengoba ungase ubone, uJake kwadingeka ukuba abhekane nombuzo obalulekile: Ubani owayengunina “wangempela”? Uma uyingane yokutholwa, kungenzeka ubhekene nenselele efanayo, ikakhulukazi uma uzibuza ukuthi abazali bakho abakuzalayo bebengakuphatha kangcono yini kunabazali bakho abakuthola. Kodwa ingabe ukuzala umuntu kukodwa yiko okungenza abantu babe abazali bakho “bangempela”?

Unina kaJake owamthola wayengavumelani nalokho. UJake uthi: “Umama wayethi, ‘Yebo, ngingunyoko wangempela. Nakuba unomama owakuzala, yimina unyoko wangempela manje.’” Lapho abantu abadala bamukela ingane emzini wabo futhi bevuma ukuthi bazoyipha indawo yokuhlala, ukudla futhi bayikhulise, banakekele izidingo zayo, ngempela baba abazali bayo “bangempela.” (1 Thimothewu 5:8) Cishe neziphathimandla zezomthetho ezweni lakini zikubheka ngaleyo ndlela. Kuthiwani ngoNkulunkulu?

Cabangela indaba yengane yokutholwa okungenzeka idume kunazo zonke emlandweni—ekaJesu Kristu. UJesu wayengazalwa nguJosefa umbazi, kodwa uJosefa wamamukela njengendodana yakhe. (Mathewu 1:24, 25) Njengoba uJesu ekhula, ingabe wavukela igunya likaJosefa? Ngokuphambene nalokho, uJesu wayeqonda ukuthi kwakuyintando kaNkulunkulu ukuba azithobe kusingayise. UJesu wayewazi kahle umthetho uJehova ayewunike izingane zakwa-Israyeli. Yimuphi lowo mthetho?

Hlonipha Uyihlo Nonyoko

ImiBhalo itshela izingane: “Hlonipha uyihlo nonyoko.” (Duteronomi 5:16) EBhayibhelini, igama elithi “hlonipha” ngokuvamile lisetshenziselwa ukuveza inhlonipho, ukwazisa, nokucabangela. Ungabonisa abantu abakukhulisile inhlonipho enjalo ngokuba nomusa kubo, uhloniphe isithunzi sabo, ulalele umbono wabo, futhi ukulungele ukwenza noma yiziphi izinto ezifanele abazicela kuwe.

Kodwa-ke, kuthiwani ngalezo zikhathi lapho abazali bakho abakuthola bebonakala bengalinganiseli? Kuyavunywa ukuthi lokho kuyokwenzeka. Bonke abazali abaphelele, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi abazali abakuthola noma cha. Amaphutha abo angase akwenze kube yinselele ngempela ukubalalela. Futhi akumangalisi uma ngezikhathi ezinjalo, uthambekela ekugxileni ekutheni uyingane yokutholwa bese uyazibuza ukuthi lokho ngandlela-thile akukukhululi yini esibophweni sokubalalela. Kodwa ingabe kunjalo ngempela?

Kungase kukusize ukucabanga ngesimo sikaJesu. Khumbula, wayephelele. (Hebheru 4:15; 1 Petru 2:22) Kodwa usingayise wayengaphelele; kanjalo nonina omzalayo. Ngakho-ke, cishe kwakunezikhathi lapho uJesu ayebona khona ukuthi abazali bakhe basephutheni. Ingabe wabuvukela ubunhloko bukaJosefa obungaphelele noma isiqondiso sikaMariya esiyiphutha njengomama? Cha. IBhayibheli lisitshela ukuthi njengoba uJesu ayekhula, “waqhubeka ezithoba” kubazali bakhe.—Luka 2:51.

Ngakho uma wena nabazali abakuthola ningaboni izinto ngaso linye, ungase uphethe ngokuthi basephutheni. Kodwa kumelwe uvume ukuthi nawe awuphelele. Ngakho kuhlale kunethuba lokuthi nguwe osephutheni. Kunoma yikuphi, ingabe akuyona inkambo engcono kakhulu ukulandela isibonelo sikaJesu? (1 Petru 2:21) Ukwenza kanjalo kuyokusiza ukuba ulalele. Kodwa kunesizathu esikhulu nakakhulu sokuba ulalele abazali bakho.

IBhayibheli lithi: “Nina bantwana, lalelani abazali benu kukho konke, ngoba lokhu kuyajabulisa kakhulu eNkosini.” (Kolose 3:20) Yebo, ukulalela kwakho kujabulisa uYihlo wasezulwini. (IzAga 27:11) Futhi ufuna ukuba ufunde ukulalela ngoba ufuna ukuba nawe ujabule. IZwi lakhe likhuthaza izingane ukuba zilalele, bese linezela ngokuthi “ukuze kukuhambele kahle futhi uhlale isikhathi eside emhlabeni.”—Efesu 6:3.

Ukuqinisa Ubuhlobo Nabazali Abakuthola

Ukuba nobuhlobo obuhle nabazali abakuthola kuhilela okungaphezu nje kokuhlonipha nokulalela. Cishe ufuna ukuba isimo sasekhaya sijabulise futhi sibe nothando. Abazali abakuthola banomthwalo wemfanelo wokwakha isimo esinjalo. Kodwa nawe ungafeza indima ebalulekile. Kanjani?

Okokuqala, funa izindlela zokusondelana nabazali bakho. Babuze ngesizinda sabo, ukuphila kwabo nezinto abazithakazelelayo. Funa iseluleko sabo enkingeni ethile ekusindayo, ukhethe isikhathi lapho bekhululekile futhi beneme. (IzAga 20:5) Okwesibili, funa izindlela zokuhlanganyela emisebenzini yomkhaya, njengokusiza ngomsebenzi wasendlini neminye imisebenzi ngaphandle kokuba ucelwe.

Nokho, kuthiwani ngabazali abakuzalayo? Uma ukhetha ukubafuna, noma uma bona bekhetha ukukufuna, ingabe lokho kuyobusongela ubuhlobo onabo nabazali abakuthola? Esikhathini esidlule, izinhlangano zezingane zokutholwa zazingavumi ukukhipha imininingwane yokusiza abazali bemvelo ukuba bathole ingane abayinikela ukuba itholwe othile noma ukusiza leyo ngane ithole abazali bayo. Namuhla, izimiso kwamanye amazwe azinamingcele eminingi, futhi izingane eziningi zokutholwa ziye zahlangana nabazali bazo bemvelo ezingasabakhumbuli nhlobo. Yiqiniso, kungenzeka izimiso zokutholwa kwezingane zihlukile endaweni ohlala kuyo.

Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yikuphi, ukuthi uyabafuna abazali abakuzalayo noma cha kuyisinqumo sakho, futhi singase sibe nzima. Intsha eyatholwa, inemizwa ehlukahlukene ngale ndaba. Enye ilangazelela ukuthola abantu abayizala; enye izimisele ukuba ingakwenzi lokho. Nokho, ungaqiniseka ngokuthi izingane eziningi zokutholwa ziye zahlangana nabazali bazo bemvelo kodwa zalondoloza ubuhlobo obuhle nabazali abazithola.

Cela amacebiso kubazali abakuthola mhlawumbe nakubangane abavuthiwe ebandleni lobuKristu. (IzAga 15:22) Bhekisisa isimo, futhi uzinike isikhathi ngaphambi kokuthatha isinyathelo. Njengoba izAga 14:15 zisho, “okhaliphile uyazicabangela izinyathelo zakhe.”

Uma unquma ukuxhumana nabazali bakho abakuzalayo, lwela ukuqinisekisa abazali abakuthola ngokuthi usabathanda futhi usabahlonipha. Ngaleyo ndlela, njengoba uqhubeka wazi abantu abakuzala futhi bakunikela ukuba utholwe othile esikhathini eside esidlule, uyolondoloza ubuhlobo obuhle nabazali abakukhulisa futhi bakuqeqesha.

Qinisa Ubuhlobo NoYihlo Wasezulwini

Intsha eningi eyatholwa ihlalela ovalweni lokuthi izolahlwa. Ikhathazeka ngokuthi ingase ilahlekelwe umkhaya owayithola njengoba yalahlekelwa umkhaya oyizalayo. Ukwesaba okunjalo kuyaqondakala. Noma kunjalo, khumbula la mazwi ahlakaniphile: “Akukho ukwesaba othandweni, kodwa uthando oluphelele luphonsa ukwesaba ngaphandle.” (1 Johane 4:18) Ungavumeli ukwesaba okukhwantabalisayo kokulahlekelwa abantu obathandayo kukubuse. Kunalokho, qinisa uthando lwakho ngabanye, kuhlanganise nabo bonke abakini. Kodwa ngaphezu kwakho konke, qinisa uthando lwakho ngoYihlo wasezulwini, uJehova uNkulunkulu. Njengoba ethembeka ngokuphelele, akalokothi azilahle izingane zakhe ezithembekayo. Angakudambisa ukwesaba kwakho.—Filipi 4:6, 7.

UCatrina, owayeyingane yokutholwa, uthi ukufunda iBhayibheli kwamsiza kakhulu ukuba asondelane noNkulunkulu futhi aphile ukuphila okujabulisayo nokuvuzayo. Uthi ubuhlobo obuseduze noJehova “bubaluleke kakhulu ngoba uBaba wethu wasezulwini uyayazi indlela esizizwa ngayo.” Umbhalo uCatrina awuthanda kakhulu yiHubo 27:10, elithi: “Noma kungenzeka ubaba nomama bangishiye, yebo uJehova yena ubeyongamukela.”

Uma ungakujabulela ukuthola ukwaziswa okwengeziwe noma ungathanda ukuba othile akuvakashele ekhaya azokuqhubela isifundo seBhayibheli samahhala, siza ubhale, ufake igama lakho nekheli lendawo ohlala kuyo, ukuthumelele OFakazi BakaJehova, Private Bag X2067, Krugersdorp, 1740, South Africa, noma ekhelini elifanele ekhasini 5.

[Umbhalo waphansi]

[Isithombe ekhasini 32]

Funa izindlela zokusondelana nabazali abakuthola